idk how to address this but i've been diagnosed with something and i'm struggling to deal with it
due to money trouble and my untreated ADHD, i've neglected many of my needs/wants/problems over the past decade or so and now with my diagnosis and treatment ahead i'm terrified and idk what the next year of my life will look like.
i have a very long to-do list and not much time left in which to do them in (by the 18th this month which obviously isn't possible to get everything done by then) and like 99% of my problems would be solved by money (as most peoples' problems would)
i'm fortunate enough that healthcare where i live is "free" but that still doesn't take into account: not having enough money to get things i need and to survive and live off and transportation issues and a million other things. plus the system is understaffed, underfunded, and therefore they'll be constant delays with my healthcare/treatment.
my mental health has also suffered a lot in the past few months since finding out, hence why i've been absent from tumblr (only liking posts from the shadows, hoping i'll have time and energy to reblog/queue them eventually)
my laptop and phone have also both given me "your battery has failed, you need to replace it asap" messages in the last couple months, as if i didn't have enough to worry about.
so if you can donate any money and/or signal boost this post, you have no idea how much you'll be helping me <3
ko-fi
(medical cw: medical condition under read-more)
so i had a crappy 2025 for many months, only to cap the year off right around the holidays that i have cancer. so i now i have an even crappier year to look forward to.
i have to have chemotherapy every 2-3 weeks, i still don't know all the language well enough because i've been having anxiety/panic attacks while still going to appointments for ultrasounds/biopsies/PET-CT/MRI (some of these multiple times cause something went wrong the first time or whatever)
anyway so chemo two cycles of 4 treatments each of different chemo drugs so like 8 chemo sessions of like 2 hours each spaced out 2-3 weeks apart while taking blood 2 days before each chemo appointment.
then i have to have surgery sometime after chemo.
and i will also be losing all my hair so that's fun! i would have to have like 4 hour long chemo sessions to even try and preserve my hair and it seems like it doesn't tend to be worth it. also makes it harder to book me in as well and i don't really wanna spend 4 hours instead of 2 hours getting treatment.
so i'm like going through like my top 3-5 worse fears in life all at once under the age of 30!
vaporwave
yousharknotpass
jacobvanloon
