Have you ever had an experience where your first few dates with your crush went great however nothing happened and everything simply died down after awhile?
You wonder why. Was it something you said? Or was it something you didn’t say but should have?
I believe some of you guys have game but fall a little short on certain details to make it happen.
So here are a few pointers for you out of my own playbook.
1) Be knowledgeable. Read up on a variety of topics for interesting conversation. Have different genres to cover different types of girls be it in holiday destinations, hobbies, the future, traits in their ideal partner or taboos/sex. Avoid talking about negative things. Understand that different people are interested in different things. People like people who are like themselves. Having commonalities helps with building rapport not because you & her really have that much in common- it’s simply because you are well read. Compile theses stories into a routine. Activate it when it is time.
2) Pick out several date spots. Plan out your first, second, third and forth dates. Understand the places every well. Know which are the best seats in the house where her attention is least taken from you, know the vibe(is it suitable for the first date?) when is the place least crowded, what is on the menu, and what you will see along the way there. Pick out little things & come up with stories that will make you appear witty or make her laugh. Go through your routine. Playfully tease her and gently touch her hand or shoulder. Do it right & she will feel like you are an oppa. ;) Also, do not only stay in one place during the date. It feels stale and boring. Bringing her to more places means making more memories. You want her to think of you the next time she revisits. Let her feel as though going out with you is an adventure. Feeling different emotions with you.
3) End in mind. Don’t just go out, spend money,and have a good time. Activities without much consideration and nonsense can be done with your bros, not with your date(not yet.) The vibe she gets from you on the first and fourth date has to be different. She has to feel emotionally vested in “us.” Decide on the kind of impression you wish to leave her with, allow her to discover a little more about you with each date. Be authentic. Portray the values you have as a person & help her imagine her life together with you in the future. Work on yourself to become the kind of person who will attract girls you like.
4) Listen with the intention to understand, and not listen for the sake of replying. Trust me when I tell you talking about herself is either her favourite or hated topic. She is giving you information to better understand her, you only share about yourself with people you trust. Pay attention when she’s in the zone. Tease at appropriate times only. Establish a emotional connection by catching certain points she raises by asking her to elaborate. Nod emphatically. From time to time show her you are truly listening by thoughtfully bringing it up when it’s relevant. She will remember it. Take down mental notes so you have more material for your next meetup. The fun never ends with you.
5) Escalate. Many of you guys should know how to get a girl interested but do not know how to create opportunities for physical contact. If you cannot take it to the physical level then you will fall right into the friend zone after x number of dates. This one is the tipping point. Maybe a post for another day.
This post is meant for the guys who dare to go for the girl they want for the long-term but missing a few key ingredients. Good luck and hope to hear from you.
Game boys are welcome to share their experiences too for a HBO special. Help(a) Brother Out.
