Tapet de stele

Eli | 23 | hobbies include sitting on my bedroom floor being absolutely devastated by the fact that i have a physical form . Art restoration MA ¦ ENTP ¦ Ig - cristinella.eli

[puracure]

Feral little ankle biter 🐾

[agirlwithadiary]

My brain @ me:

[catnip-cryptidd]

Current emotional state: I just heard a L’oreal commercial say “you’re worth it” and I burst into tears

[stark-park]

To the tune of Final Countdown 🎶it's a constant breakdown🎶

[recovering-dummy]

[todestrieeeb-deactivated2024042]

you’re kinda sexy, what personality disorder do you have

[mental-breakdown-oclock]

christmas wish list:

1) a lobotomy

[asoftepiloguemylove]

Sylvia Plath "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath" / Anne Sexton, "The Sickness Unto Death" / Simon Stålenhag / Sylvia Plath "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath" / Friedrich Wilhelm Theodor Heyser "Ophelia" / Louise Glück, “The Unpainted Door" / Max Ginsburg "War Pieta" / Mahmoud Darwish "Memory for Forgetfulness: August, Beirut, 1982" / August Friedrich Albrecht Schenck "Anguish" / Sylvia Plath "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath"

[asoftepiloguemylove]

"A burnt child loves the fire."

Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

[magpie-misfortunes]

feeling a little goofy, might take part in an ancient ritual in the middle of a forest with a group of insufferable greek students and accidentally kill a farmer whilst in a state of pure enlightenment, idk

[klasterni-tajemstvi]

if you say "old man" to a mirror three times, Bunny Corcoran will appear and make fun of you for being poor

[born-to-live-deactivated2025070]

"how can you possibly justify cold-blooded murder?'

Henry lit a cigarette. 'I prefer to think of it,' he had said, 'as redistribution of matter."

- Donna Tartt; The Secret History

[funnybunnyuniverse]

“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away"

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“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."

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[funnybunnyuniverse]

- hobbies include sitting on my bedroom floor being absolutely devastated by the fact that i have a physical form.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Cristinella Eli (@cristinella.eli)

[radijs-dalfo]

[toastbutteregg]

[funnybunnyuniverse]

IN SCIENTIA VERITAS, IN ARTE HONESTAS.

Since I've known myself I loved animals and wanted to help them. In my childhood years, I also was passionate about painting and drawing and the power that came with learning how to be a creator of my own world. Since then promised myself that I would learn to be a great and powerful person. I was the ruler of my own realm until reality hit me like a ton of bricks.

At the age of 13, I started to go as a volunteer at the vet doctor. I was on my path to be the animal rescuer. Little did I know that it would be very soul-consuming.

First times it was all milk and honey. We laughed a lot and I assimilated a great deal of knowledge from the doctors at the clinic. The walls from the fortress of my happiness were about to be destroyed when made the mistake of feeling the pain and sorrow of the animals. With every pet a saw in great pain (and trust me there were a lot of pets in sufferings I can't even describe) it was like I was devoured by an abyss from inside of my body. The coldness of the operating table embraced me every time I entered the room and that eat me alive. My power, my dedication, where did all that go? The blood didn't scare me. I was fascinated about animal and human anatomy since my mom gave me my first anatomy and biology compendium. I loved that book. Then if this part didn't scare the living daylights out of me what was the problem?

I stayed a few more years and I tried with all my strength to bury the feelings deep down in my soul. I stayed and fight myself until sensed that I was dying little by little with every pet that suffered or died in that clinic. I fought and I failed. I was defeated by myself. I was a disgrace in my eyes. The all-mighty Destiny sat down on his stone throne and cried with me.

In my final year in high school, I was lost. I was preparing for a life as a vet but after years of struggle, I abandoned that future. A lot of people that knew me asked: "How can this be your good choice?", "How can you be so selfish?", "How can you say you love animals if you let that career slip through your fingers?" and every time, with my soul bleeding, I said "/ can't do this my whole life. This isn't for me". This hurt me to the point of destruction.

After all that time and that lost battle I was left with a question: "What do I do now?". With my soul wounded I started a journey to find a new purpose in life. And then, one day it hit me and I said: "What can be more powerful and beautiful than when art and science join forces?" searched in what field do science and art meet and I found art restoration.

For the college admission had to prepare an art portfolio and oh boy I was full of enjoyment. I was living again. I stopped wandering around like a ghost. I had found the satisfaction that I lost a long time ago. I had a purpose again and that fulfilled me.

Now in my second year learning about art restoration, I am still sure that this was a good path for me to follow. From time to time I feel blue about how fell prey to my feelings but I manage not to cry my heart out like before.