riko doesn’t understand ethics. he never does anything that would be considered a moral good just to feel good about it, because he simply doesn’t
scoring a goal feels good. drinking water after a drill feels good. an orgasm feels good
looking at the sky, when the amount of space above you is enormous, feels good
when the pain stops, it feels good
doing something for others doesn’t intrinsically feel good. doing something for kevin does, though
kevin is nice to look at when he’s happy with something you’ve done for him. he smiles, and he glows, and his eyes sparkle, and he stares at you, and you feel warm all over. he might even crush you in his arms, and while it’s hard not to fight it on instinct, staying still is worth it
making kevin happy becomes challenging with time because what does the thing clashes with what the family wants from riko. with what he’s supposed to be. with what he inevitably is
moments of kevin’s happiness become few and far between, and they seem to only occur when he briefly forgets himself. unfortunately, there’s no way for riko to survive and make him happy at the same time
maybe he will be once riko’s dead