i often think about how all of the ways that our lives have collided could have differed
if i would’ve stayed back in the back of the show w my co workers instead of going up to the barricade, mayb if wouldnt have realized enjoy was opening for the growlers, mayb i would’ve had less to drink or if we would’ve walked in on the left side door, that drunken moment of lust that happened w u would’ve been nothing but a dream for a girl, but that girl is just me
if i didn’t notice a kid from high school cheating on a girl i used to swim with,(right behind me too, not to mention u knew him) i wouldn’t have caught eyes w u that lured u my direction. ironically enough i can barely remember that transaction, but you do
with u remembering the way i looked w my hair darker than it was when u saw me the next, it reminded me how i felt that night, the way i felt locking lips and thinking to myself “does every kiss feel like this?” in that moment u were a complete stranger and if i felt something with someone so foreign, i didn’t know what feelings to believe for the next years being 17.
i remember u holding my hips and the feelings in my stomach were pushing up to my jaw and i knew that moment was indeed, over
i pulled out my phone without saying a word and unlocked and with no hesitation u grabbed it and texted urself , after that, i was gone and turned to be the first/only throw up ive had in a stall at the fremont
the irony the universe can give us sometimes is just impeccable work truly, huh
its funny how the throw up in that story rly kills the romance to it, almost like how his lies at the end of the relationship kills any sort of good that anxious ass relationship was, getting clarity on how much u hated urself around someone is a wild feeling
how anxious i was all the time around him
and i almost got away from u, so close
ut the universe brought us together after a 2 yr relationship i had w an abusive alcoholic
and i now dont know who was worse
he was never my person
no one ever has
just someone trying to convince me they were
and convince themself too
i hate him
