Feeling the Moment @future----rn - Tumblr Blog

I tell you this / to break your heart, / by which I mean only / that it break open and never close again / to the rest of the world.

Mary Oliver, from “Lead,” New and Selected Poems, Vol. 2 (Beacon Press, 2005)

toocooltobeforgotten

bittersweet by susan cain

I wish I loved Johny more when he was alive. Of course we loved Johny very much. Johny knew that. Everyone knew that. Loving Johny more. What does it mean? What can it mean, now? Parents all over the earth who lost sons in the war have felt this kind of question, and sought an answer. To me, it means loving life more, being more aware of live, of one's fellow human beings, of the earth. It means obliterating, in a curious way, the ideas of evil and hate and the enemy, and transmuting them, with the alchemy of suffering, into ideas of clarity and charity. It means caring more and more about other people. at home and abroad, all over the earth. It means caring about God. I hope we can love Johny more and more till we too die and leave behind us, as he did, the love of love, the love of life.

Frances Gunther “Death Be Not Proud”

#deathbenotproud johngunther francesgunther

sfaira

It's nesting season for the little neighbors

Thinking about how the hardest patient deaths are not the patients on hospice or palliative care. It’s not the patients whose family is at the bedside crying and grieving.

The hardest patient deaths are the ones that are unexpected. It’s the patients who are on track to get better and go home but don’t.

You’re the one’s I think about on my day off in the middle of driving.

thegraymethod

I never realized just how much I would appreciate every single night that I am not responsible for other people's lives

luthienne

Sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you’ve been ruined.

Ocean Vuong, from On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous (via luthienne)

nighttimemuses

"They say nothing lasts forever but they're just scared it will last longer than they can love it."

Ocean Vuong, on earth we're briefly gorgeous

roseharlaws

She said she had learnt one thing from Balzac: that a woman’s beauty is a treasure beyond price.

Dai Sijie, from Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress. (via roseharlaws)

existential-celestial

I am a woman held fast now in a great silence. Not all creatures have your need for words.

Czesław Miłosz, The Separate Notebooks (via existential-celestial)

andthatscanon

Life is beautiful and tragic.

If there is one thing I’ve learned in these last 6 months it is that when it all comes to an end, when your time is up here in this world...all that matters is the people who you are surrounded with. It’s about the people you love and who love you. It’s about family. It’s about the people who truly care about you.

I’ve seen a lot of death in the last 6 months. I’ve seen grief in the eyes of strangers. I’ve seen people begging for more time while others pray that God will take them soon so they can stop suffering. I’ve seen the look in a person’s eyes when they know the end is coming in a matter of days, hours, minutes. It’s numbing and heartbreaking. None of us are invincible.

The first time one of my patients died- a man I barely knew, I caught myself getting choked up talking about his death. I cried in the bathroom and then wiped my tears and went back to my job. No matter how often people die, it never makes any sense.

My god, the appreciation I have now for my loved ones, is something I never had to this extent before. I want to protect all of them and keep them safe for as long as possible. Life is so fragile and fleeting.

If I’m not spending my time on this earth, trying to save people than I’m wasting my time here. Most nights when I think about my wildest dreams I think about my career and how I can use it as a tool to try and leave something good behind. I think about all the patients I have yet to serve and how maybe, just maybe I can help them. I dream about Doctors Without Borders. I think about how one day I’ll have the experience and the courage to join them. I picture working in conflict zones, working in places I never would have imagined.

Since as long as I can remember I wanted to be there for others. I wanted to be a force of good. In my 27 years of life, I am so glad that never has changed. I still have thoughts and dreams that would make 10-year-old me proud. No one has ever been able to take that from me and maybe that is my power. You can never take from me what makes me who I am. I refuse to let anyone take that from me.

I know that life is about love. The poets and the musicians have it completely right. You have to love people and you have to have love within yourself. It is the only way.