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The sky rolls black, the thunder calls, the rain beats down as waves upon the shore. Lightnings fills the sky and allows sight of a single grave. A hole in the earth I thought myself to fill. The bleakness of the night fills the world. The memories, darker and more menacing than the emptiness of space, haunt me. They flock to me as wolves do when famished. A dismal time they signify. A time of loathing and dread. To the grave they drove me on, as merciless as the summer sun. There came a time along this path, when I would rather surrender to the grave than be driven any longer. As I reached the abyss, I was pulled back. Saved, as it were. A gentle touch, a sweet caress. A soft light to lead the way and chase the unending hunger of the past back into the shadows. The world can yet be seen again, the hole in the earth remains empty, and renewed life shines forth from within. Strength has been freely given, and returned in kind. My hope has been reborn and enlarged. NSB

#stormimileia

Everyone always does these New Years new year new me resolutions. I always wonder why being a new year is gonna give more resolve all of the sudden. It shouldn't matter. We should have that resolve because WE want to change, not because a certain day comes that makes us feel like change must happen. However, there are events that can cause change, people we meet, unforgettable experiences. My breath is stolen, my heart is still, Up my spine flies a magnificent chill. The air itself seems to be quite still. I fear to move, for if I do, I might wake, And this is a dream of which I would rather forever partake. The vision before me is splendid, And I would perish at the thought of this glory being ended. I do not have the proper words, To convey what I see, to show my verve. Life is so precious and short, But I feel no remorse. I've lost nothing to the sands of time, For my life, though it has spots of grime, Has been full this far. And this vision, Of which I speak, is no ones son, But a radiant beauty, a woman. Who, with a grand smile, can Light my soul aflame. Poetry is something I am fond of. I tend to try and use it to describe how I feel, or tell a story in a less than usual manner. This is one thing I work on all the time. I have changed much over the years, and I hope that part of that change has been improvement in my poetry. I will continue to strive to be a better person. If I were to have a New Years resolution, it would be to help others see the improvement they've made that they themselves cannot see.

#stormimileia

Thanks

God moves in strange ways. He has directed my life in a direction I never thought it would take. I must say though, I love the direction it has taken. I feel more appreciated and loved by the people around me than I ever have before. They have given me support and help that I feel I can never repay. I know I have been stubborn in the past and refused help, I know they care and just want to be there for me. I am doing the best I can to humble myself and accept the kindness of others. I'm so used to that kindness not being there that it is very hard to make that change. I feel I am doing better though. There is this one particular person that has helped me more than the rest. She has been an amazing girlfriend so far, and very understanding. She does more for me than I thought anyone ever would or could. I know it is uncharacteristic of me to do anything like this, but I feel a need to inform these people how thankful I am to them for all that they do. As sappy as it is, I am immeasurably grateful.

#stormimileia

Center of my soul

The center of my soul is beautiful, elegant, and graceful. It is thoughtful and deep, caring and kind. It becomes more beautiful every time I reflect upon it, and helps me love myself more. The center of my soul can laugh and cry, and enjoy life. I protect it the best I can, while still making sure it is free to experience everything. When I feel dark and gray, it brightens me. When I'm lonely and afraid, it comforts me. When I'm angry and can't think straight, it calms me. The center of my soul does not belong to me, but it is a part of me. It is not a thing, or a presence, but a person. The center of my soul is a woman, who's inner and outer beauty radiates down upon me like the sun from the heavens. This Goddess has blessed me with guidance and safety, I only hope I can return such an honor. She is and will remain forever, the love of my life, the gravity that keeps me grounded, the light to shine upon my path. My rock, my anchor, my Excalibur. For with her near I can win any fight, conquer any fear, vanquish any foe. The center of my soul, Stormi Mileia Henley, is you.

#stormimileia

Value

Life needs to be valued and not taken for granted. I have greatly come to realize this recently. I rush around doing as much as I can and more than I should, and have suffered for it. I have had to take a step back, re-evaluate, and relax a little. I realize that the experiences I have with people and on my own matter much more than the things I can gain. I love the friends that have helped me see this, and that continue to support me To become better. More than them though, I love the special woman in my life, who is my everything, who helps and supports me in ways that no one else can. I am quite sure that my life will become a much fuller experience with these people in it, filling it with joy. NSB

Self-worth. Everyone has it. It's a hard thing to describe, sometimes a hard thing to have. It can be especially hard to have if one has been treated terribly during important relationships in their life. However, it should always be there. There are many things that block having that feeling, but that feeling can always be restored.

Moon

I am the moon. I don't like accepting credit for anything, though you give me credit all the time, sunshine. 😊 I don't like people to see my Darkside, though you've seen it and you're OK with it. I don't mind sitting back and fading in and out of peoples lives except for yours. You are the reason I light up. Without you I would be dark, cold, and lonely place. I'm hard to get close to you, but if you manage it, it's hopefully worth the effort.

Declare

Can it be? Can love really come this easily? Can I really be this happy? Can I just let joy happen? Can the world really be letting this much light in my life? Am I sure that this is my reality?

I must say, after knowing the person I love, that the answer to all of these questions is a resounding yes. My love for her makes me feel as though I’ve never really loved anyone else. I feel as though I’ve always known her. Before we met, happiness was forced, fake, and never stayed with me very long. Life was dreary. I was… self destructive in my habits. She has changed all of that, and I have changed so much since meeting her.

I’m able to just let joy flow of its own accord now. It stays without effort. She does so much for me, I am amazed at her thoughts on my worth. I feel as though this goddess gives me too much credit. She has brought light, relief, and unending joy to my life. She does so much for me I couldn’t begin to name them all. I only hope I can do half as much in return.

This is a simple, public declaration that I am hers, always and forever. I will always be there for her, whatever she may need or want. I hope she knows what she means to me, what she will always mean to me. She knows who she is :)

#stormimileia

Nightmares

Nightmares must be our creation. Only we can torture ourselves so well. Only I know my fears and desires, My hopes and dreams, My deepest fears and darkest secrets. Only I can create the kind of mental trauma, the pain and fear, that never goes away. Of course, events can occur that encourage such trauma, but I must hold on to those events, cling to them, to have them change me in such a way. When these events do happen, they still do not choose the thoughts that come after. Those, dreary and lonesome things, are still a product and choice of my own mind. The torture I put myself through, it's worth it. It means I still can live life, as hard as that may be. The things I imagine scare me more than anything because, I know that they can actually happen. It's not the crazy things that scare me, but the cruel possibilities of reality. My nightmares may seem simple and harmless to others, but to me they are permanent scars across the fibers of my mind. I hope to overcome them, and with the help I receive I will, in time. Until then, I will work through them.

True sorrow

Meaningless. Forlorn. Full of sorrow. Life is all of these to me. It holds nothing of value, nothing Of substance. It leaves me wanting. Leaves me somber and alone. Why stay, why fight? The pain is too much, I cannot endure. Can this much pain be real? The end is near, I bring it myself. I see death, and welcome it's loving Embrace. The only reality for me. The only place I feel comfort. It frees me from the burdens of the world. NSB

Forest

I wonder sometimes if it matters at all. If this is a dream or reality. I question whether or not I should be here, whether or not I should have the right to influence anything, to change outcomes and pathways. I don't know the answer to so many questions, and I don't know the question for so many answers. I'm lost in the forest, forgotten. Should I continue to walk the path before me, fighting back the beasts that hide just out of sight? Will I ever find the safety I seek, or will I be crushed by the darkness? A long time have I asked myself all of these things. Reality does exist, though I cannot tell what is or isn't. I'm not sure of my value, but it is enough that I will stay. I have learned to love the forest, and all that comes with it. The beauty and danger are a worthy price to pay, to travel the path I have set myself on. The beasts are not always vicious, some are playful, and so I continue. I may never find safety, but I have found a light in the darkness, that wards off the crushing deep. She is a companion I never expected to find, and yet I cherish her above all else. For without her, I would yet be alone, still in darkness. My greatest hope is to return the light she has given, and repay the endless kindness of her love. I will strive to conquer the dangers, and ring true to my soul. All that I was, am, and ever will be, are hers.

Soul desire

The most thrilling heights, The darkest depths, These things my soul craves. It craves the waves and wind, The calm before the storm, And the beauty of the moon at night. It desires adventure, wild and pure. It longs for days and weeks and months, Where anything can happen. Oh how my soul wishes, Wishes for riches untold. It aches for the rush and excitement That come from the adrenaline rush. Oh my soul pines for that, Which takes work and effort to achieve. It searches for completion. And yet, I know something. What I know, my soul saw before me. And now, I could not be more content. For my soul and I have found, All that we have longed for and more. We have found the depths, the heights, The beauty of the world. My soul rests, and is joyful. For it has found all of these things In perfect measure, not in a place, But in a person, a goddess. Money cannot buy what my soul and I Have found. She is beyond riches, And provides all that is sought for And more. No one can measure The pleasure she brings my soul. Nor can they count the joyous moments. She will forever be the love of my life, My destination, my companion. Should she allow it, she will be Forever by my side. I will love her With all my soul, for she completes me. And that is truly all my soul requires.

SMH

I see you from across the way, Your dress flatters your figure, Frames your face in the perfect way. My heart flutters, I hold my breath. My mind races, trying, desperately, To find the words to say.

Awkward it starts, our meeting here. We walk the strip, the sky clear, Lit by signs and the light in your eyes. We walk on, oblivious to those Around us, to those who see The world as only grey.

I swear you see my soul, Inside my eyes. You look, And see what life has written In the novel, my book Of experiences. I’m afraid Of what your eyes behold.

I know it’s not glowing, Or something to be proud of. And yet, you stay, you laugh, You enjoy the night with me. My intentions change, my Whole perspective changes.

As we part ways, I wonder, Why I let my life be changed. I realize that, you are who I Have been looking for all my life. I realize, I have never really loved, Not until I met you. My life will Never be the same, and I never Want it to be.

NSB

#stormimileia

Weakness

My biggest weakness is admitting I can't do something on my own. It's saying that I need help from someone instead of I got this or I can do this myself. I look back on life and realize I made poor choices because of this weakness. Things that I have rarely shared with friends and never shared with strangers, events that have happened that I feel ashamed of, or just want to forget. But I realize, that these events, these choices, are helping me to work on this weakness. They are helping me to overcome it and ask for help, to realize that it's not a weakness to need someone else, but a strength. Having someone else there takes more strength than doing it on your own. It will always require more because it requires that you acknowledge another person, their thoughts, their ideas, their presence in your life. It requires that you work together. It requires trust. Trust is hard to come by, when you find it, value it.

What I see

What I see is different than what most people see. I see things through a haze of pain. Imagine if you will, that one time you touched the stove when you were a kid and it was hot, or you walked outside during the summer with bare feet and burned the bottoms on the blacktop, or burned them in the sand at the beach. Now imagine the feeling everywhere. On my best day, this is mild. On my worst day the pain can be in so intense that I pass out. And yet, what I see is still amazing. Life has brought me so many wonders, so much love and happiness. I long for a day when the pain will end, but until that day I will gladly live life to its fullest and see past the pain of my life. There is one particular person who has made this life worth more to me than anyone else. They know who they are, and should they ever read this they will know exactly what they mean to me already. Finding the good and the joyous in life can be hard, but I figure if I can do it now, I can do it anytime. Joy is waiting to be found, life is what you make it. I could make it miserable I could be a terrible person who treats everyone with disdain. That would be me succumbing to the pain of my life. Instead I choose to rise above it, to conquer it the best I can, and enjoy the wonderful gifts that life gives me on a daily basis. My greatest wishis that others would do the same. Life's trials can be hard, but we are stronger, we always have help, and if we use that help we can rise above anything. NSB

Life

Life can be cold and heartless, Cunning and ruthless, Full of suspicion, lies, and hate. Life can be humble, or kind, Or loving, or sensual, full of Peace and harmony. What life holds depends on your view. Where life goes depends on your vision. How long it takes depends on determination. Life can be simple, or it can be complex. What are you waiting for? Make life what you want it to be. Choose the side of life you want to embrace. NSB

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