Bestie asked me to update the Jo smau but I feel like a CHUD. I am writing some SingleDad!Jo headcanons tho :3 I also need ideas for a Harua fic I love him and I can't focus on one thing
Wanting to write fluff, but being in the worst writer's block ever <\3 like staring at the empty doc NOWWWWW… If anyone has any requests let me knowwwwwww
In which reader loses a friend to suicide, Fuma picks up the pieces
content: Fuma x reader, hurt/comfort, topics of death, mentions of suicide, reader loses a friend, mental health, wanting to vomit mention, mainly comfort.
masterlist
You were walking to Fumas’ place since you finally had an off day, the cool breeze brushing softly against your skin. Life had finally slowed down, work was getting better, finally making enough to treat your friends and to get back on your feet.
All it took was one phone call to make all of that burn away. “Hello?” you speak into your phone, getting a call. “Y/n?? It's Kami, Juria's sister.” Your steps are slow, she sounded serious. Now, in front of Fumas complex, you stop waiting to go up. “Is everything okay? Your voice is shaking,” you ask, chest aching with anxiety. Kami rarely reaches out. Did something happen? “Um…I don't know how to say this…Can you sit down real quick?” She asks, you look around briefly, choosing a nearby bench. Feeling everything slow, you can't seem to feel your legs. “Okay, I'm sitting, what's up?” you shake in the seat. “Last night, Juria passed. We found her this morning. I'm sorry.” You can hear Kami sniffling through the phone, but you feel as if you were just hit by a bus. At first, you think she's lying. There is no way Juria passed. You just saw her a few days ago, chatting about her dinner plans with her husband, while you promised to tell her about the book you're reading once you are done with it, since having a child gave her very little time to read. It just can't be true. “How?” is all that slips out, feeling yourself being squeezed by the air around you. You hear a small sob through the other line, “She committed suicide, I don't know why. Everything seemed fine last night.” You can tell Kami couldn't handle explaining more, even though your body screamed to know what happened. Why, out of everyone in this world, does Juria have to leave? Someone who you saw almost every single day, just gone, forever. You feel your ears ringing, not being able to stop the hot tears flowing from your face. You feel bile coming up your throat, but nothing is coming out. All you can do is hang up the phone.
Fuma has seen you outside his apartment window, and saw you sit down after receiving a call, and he was excited to show you his new place, choosing it mainly because it was so close to you, but he wouldn't tell you that. He finishes tidying up before glancing out the window again, and then he sees your shoulder shaking. He quickly runs out of his apartment, not bothering to lock the door. Once he gets outside, his heart shatters at the sound of your loud sobs. People just glance at you strangely as you walk by. He approaches you slowly. “y/n? It's fuma,” he says softly, placing one hand on your knee as he kneels in front of you. You lean forward, placing both of your hands around his shoulders as you sob. He doesn't know what's wrong, but he has never seen you in this much pain before. His usually cheerful and beautiful best friend is falling apart in front of him. “Let's get you inside…” He whispers, helping you stand. He notices your wobbling legs and lets you use him as a crutch while the two of you get inside.
Fuma's scent fills your nose as you empty the apartment, comforting but not enough to cover up the pain in your chest, you feel like you're having a heart attack. Unable to keep your breath stable. He leads you to the couch and sits down with you, pulling you into his chest. He softly rubs your back as you continue to hyperventilate. “You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but please tell me what I can do,” Fuma whispers into you, holding you as if you would shatter at any moment. “Juria's dead,” you say as you exhale, more sobs coming after. You feel his breath stop. He had met Juria once or twice before. She was a sweet, hilarious girl, even her daughter was turning four the last time he heard. He blinks in shock. You and Juria have known each other since you were thirteen, she was possibly one of your longest friends. He couldn't even begin to imagine what you were thinking right now. “I don't want her to be gone…. Please don't leave me too.” his heart shattered, hearing your broken voice. “Y/n… I'm so sorry…I can't believe this is happening…but you don't worry. I'm not going anywhere.” Fuma pulls you in tighter, his head resting on top of yours. Tears prick at his eyes, but they don't fall. He knew what you needed right now was someone who could stay calm when you couldn't. He rubs in small circles on your back, trying his hardest to calm you, but even when your breathing slows, nothing could stop the small sobs that could escape your throat every few seconds. “I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but it's gonna be okay,” he says, gently rocking you. “I don't know what to do, Fuma….” you mumble. “You don't have to do anything, hon. How about you stay here for a bit? Just so you aren't alone,” he offers. You nod slowly.
You didn't expect staying with Fuma to be so easy. The first night was awful. He let you sleep in his bed while he took the couch, but you never slept; every few minutes, tears fell, or complete meltdowns occurred, not allowing you to sleep. You didn't think Fuma could hear you, but he did. He didn't want to push a boundary, so he waited sitting on the couch all night in case you needed him. Every time he heard you wake or begin to cry, he would sit up straighter, waiting to rush over and pull you in his arms, and on the third night, you did.
You couldn't take it anymore, the lack of sleep, you felt like you would pass out at any moment, but rest never came. Fuma was constantly just out of reach, and you finally held out your hand. Around 3:25 AM, you slowly open the bedroom door, tiptoeing your way to the living room. You find Fuma awake, playing on his switch. He looks up at your tear-stained face and instantly puts what he's doing to the side. “I'm so tired,” you whisper, “Can you lie down with me? At least until I fall asleep.” he nods, following your lead back to the bedroom. He sits awkwardly while you lie back where you once were, curling under the blankets. Eventually, he follows suit. You take the opportunity to lie your head on his chest, curling your arms around him. Something about Fuma was always so comforting, he was always safe. “Thank you, Fum,” you whisper. He just hums in response, already comfortable in his spot, as if he belongs there. His arm is dragging up and down your back gently as you nuzzle into him in your exhausted state. “Y/n?” Fuma whispers, chest vibrating, you back awake. Now it was your turn to sleepily hum in response. “I want you to know I'm always here, feel free to stay as long as you need, okay? I don't want you to feel like you are going through this alone, and I want you to feel like you can always come to me." Before you could respond, he felt the warm tears begin to stain his shirt. He pulled you in closer, gently, placing a comforting kiss on the top of your head. He didn't know how badly you needed to hear that, neither did you. What you did know was that you had someone in your corner, and even though you could barely go thirty minutes without crying, or cook for yourself without zoning out, or even get the energy to go outside, you had someone who would help you with every single one of those things. Fuma was your rock, your protector, and he made sure you never had to cry alone.
a/n: this is loosely based on a personal experience but reader acc got comforted and not told to get over it… I hope no one ever feels the pain of losing someone to suicide.
How I think they would do holding their moans back
masterlist
K
I can definitely imagine him having a hard time, but he for sure has more control over holding himself back. whispered curses against the shell of your ear, bites against your shoulder as he gets closer.
Fuma
I think Fuma has amazing control of the sounds he makes, holding back completely so the two of you don't get caught, but I think sometimes he lets a few soft groans slip through just to see you get nervous.
Nicholas
I think he would be fine at first, staying quiet, but as he gets close, I think he stops caring about what others might hear in the neighboring rooms. cursing loudly as he gets closer to his climax.
Euijoo
It can be either way, depending on how desperate he is, I think. Definitely on the louder end, having to bite into his shirt or suck onto your skin to keep quiet. (at least he is leaving pretty marks behind)
Yuma
I don't think he would even try. It's not that he can't, he just won't. Why should he? If someone hears he isn't worried about it, your whines about members being in the apartment fly past his head, and he tells you how good you are for him. A playful grin on his face.
Jo
I think Jo is on the quieter end in general, so I don't think he's too worried about people hearing him. If needed, he will shove his face in the crook of your neck to muffle his voice just a bit, telling you how good he feels.
Harua
One of the worst at holding back his moans, especially when you ride him, whining about how he needs more, his neediness gets the best of him. Sex with Harua is always a scene, usually leaving one of you two loudly breaking. Members are not looking at you two in the eyes for a while after the fact.
Taki
The absolute worst, louder than you even, you try to tell him to be quiet, but you just feel too good. You have to place your hands over his mouth. If that isn't good enough, you make him suck on your fingers as his eyes roll back
Maki
Another one of the louder members, but I also think he doesn't care much. Even if he could hold back his moans, he wouldn't want to. He knows what his voice does to you. Why would he take that away from you? Sometimes, if you complain about him being too loud, he will tease you about how much you squeeze him when he is loud.
a/n: lmk if y'all want a part two with how they keep their partners quiet (might do it anyways) comments are appreciated <3
euijoo is such a loverboy—soft and gentle in the way he loves you. loves talking to you, about your day, about conflicts and events that filled the day you spent apart.
as he's intently listening to you, he slowly brings your legs onto his lap. he lifts them so gently, so slowly that you don't realize until he's massaging your calves, easing the pain and tightness that had seeped into the knotted muscles. he doesn't miss a single detail of your words, his fingers focused solely on breaking up the tension.
he loves in quiet, in silence, but his silence is visible to those who pay attention. his constant need for his pinky to be hooked around yours as you walk or an arm resting lightly on your shoulders.
he gets embarrassed easily, but he is also very shameless. on the first date, he had to wait for you to hold his hand because he didn't know when the right timing would be—his pink ears, his constant glancing at your hand, fingers reaching out then pulling back gave him away. in the next coming dates, he'd hold his hand out to you, fully expecting yours to fill it for the entirety of the date.
you catch him staring at you at times, embarrassed and shy at how he isn't focused on the show in front of him, where he only responds by kissing a lock of your hair, lips lingering as he looks up at you through his eyelashes, gaze hungry but his gentle smile contradicts.
his comforting touch is like no other's, holding you close to his chest as your tears stain his shirt. head tucked in the curve of your neck as his big, warm hands softly pat your back, running the length of your spine as he barely rocks you.
his kisses to your face wipe your tears, kissing your eyes twice then follows their streaks down your cheeks. his voice is deep, comforting, lifting the burden that weighed heavy on your heart. he holds your hand to his chest, his steady beating heart against your palm has yours matching.
just saw a twt post about euijoo having sensitive nipples…… does ANYONE know where i can find a fic like that or am i gonna have to write it myself??????? (i will write it if anyone also wants to indulge)
I think im only going to update my Jo smau once a week (on mondays) im sorry if thats too slow. I have been super anxious lately and it makes it hard to do much esp when i have so many wips
but also might make a wlw side plot with chaewon and a future character idk im thinking about it (i love women)
I think im only going to update my Jo smau once a week (on mondays) im sorry if thats too slow. I have been super anxious lately and it makes it hard to do much esp when i have so many wips
but also might make a wlw side plot with chaewon and a future character idk im thinking about it (i love women)
Warnings: language(?) you call your coworker a hag lol
m.list
author’s note: chat this is my first post plz have mercy GULP. It could be better but i was too excited soz >< This was inspired by the cute Pokémon stickers Fuma sent EJ during “leave it to EJ” :3 enjoy!
a random thought in my head about reader being an 02 and being friends with the 02z of &team and everytime she’s over she’s always looking at fuma thinking he doesn’t notice and just her having the biggest crush on him but being too shy to even speak to him. UGH i need him so bad.
i love this so much how can such a big guy be that much of a cutie patootie and a softie and UGH <///3
warnings: none, it's all cutesy <3 (but nico and juju tease reader 🤡)
you’ve known nicholas and euijoo for years, they’re your fellow 02z. it’s always been easy with them: late-night gaming sessions, dumb inside jokes no one else understands, and that comforting feeling of being with people who grew up in the same world you did. whenever you hang out at the dorms, it’s like slipping into a second home.
but there’s one complication. fuma.
the first time you met him, it was casual — nicholas introducing you with that grin of his, “she’s our friend, she’s one of us, so be nice.” you laughed it off, bowing politely, thinking nothing of it. but then fuma looked up at you, and there was something in the way his eyes softened, the way his smile curved, that lodged itself somewhere deep in your chest.
and now, every time you’re over, it’s the same cycle. you’ll be sprawled on the couch next to euijoo, pretending to care about whatever show he’s got on, but your gaze always drifts. you catch yourself staring — fuma’s hair falling into his face while he laughs at something nicholas says, his hands moving gracefully when he gestures, the little crinkle at the corner of his eyes when he smiles.
you think you’re subtle, but your heart doesn’t seem to agree. it pounds every time his shoulder brushes yours in the kitchen, every time he glances your way in the middle of a conversation.
you never talk much when he’s around. it’s not that you don’t want to — it’s that the words dry up in your throat, your shyness wrapping tight around you like a net. you’ll answer if he asks you something, always polite, but never daring to add more. and then you scold yourself later, lying awake in bed, thinking about all the things you could’ve said.
nicholas teases you sometimes. you’ll catch him giving you that knowing look when your eyes inevitably follow fuma across the room. you’ll hiss at him under your breath, “shut up,” cheeks blazing, but he just laughs, nudging you like an annoying older brother. euijoo isn’t much better, though he’s more subtle about it — the sly smile, the raised eyebrow when fuma happens to walk in and you immediately stiffen.
and fuma? god, you’re convinced he doesn’t notice. how could he? he’s older, more confident, carrying himself with that calm presence that makes everyone around him feel at ease. he’s always kind to you — offering you snacks when he’s cooking, making sure you have a blanket when the dorm gets cold — but you tell yourself that’s just who he is: kind, thoughtful, a natural caretaker, just like he acts with the rest of the group.
still, sometimes you wonder.
like the night you were all playing cards on the floor. you lost spectacularly, and nicholas was making a whole show of it, laughing so hard he nearly fell over. you were hiding your face in your hands, mortified, when fuma’s voice came, low and warm: “don’t tease her too much.” you peeked through your fingers to find him smiling at you, gentle, like he was on your side.
your stomach flipped so violently you thought you might actually throw up.
or the time you were scrolling through your phone on the couch and realized he was sitting across from you, watching something on his laptop. you kept stealing glances, thinking you were safe, when suddenly his eyes flicked up and locked on yours. you froze, deer-in-headlights, and he just… smiled. you looked away so fast your neck hurt, heart hammering against your ribs.
you tell yourself you’re just imagining it. that he probably smiles at everyone that way. but still, it lingers. the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he sees you too.
the crush eats at you in quiet moments. brushing your teeth, you’ll think about what it would feel like if he leaned down to kiss you. cooking ramen with euijoo, you’ll picture fuma wandering in, sliding his arms around your waist, murmuring something low in your ear. you know it’s hopeless, but the daydreams won’t stop.
and the worst part? the longing has started to bleed into everything. when he’s not around, you find yourself scrolling through clips of him, searching his face in group photos, listening too closely when nicholas casually mentions him. when you’re with him, you can barely breathe, trapped between wanting to disappear and wanting to stay forever.
you don’t say a word, it’s safer this way — to keep the crush tucked away in your chest. you’d rather suffer in silence than risk ruining the easy comfort you have with nicholas, euijoo, and the whole group.
still, every time fuma laughs, every time his eyes meet yours across the room, it feels less like a secret and more like a fire that won’t stop burning.
and deep down, a part of you wonders how much longer you’ll be able to keep it hidden.
it happens on one of those nights where the dorm feels too full — laughter spilling from every corner, euijoo and nicholas arguing over some game, music humming in the background. you’re curled up on the arm of the couch, pretending to scroll through your phone, but really you’re doing what you always do: sneaking glances at fuma.
he’s sitting on the floor, legs crossed, shoulders broad even in the loose hoodie he’s wearing. his hair falls forward as he focuses on whatever’s happening in front of him, but he pushes it back with those strong, veined hands, and your chest squeezes tight.
you think you’re being subtle. you always think you are.
but this time, when you look up, his eyes are already on you.
you freeze. caught.
he doesn’t look away. his gaze lingers, soft but steady, like he’s been waiting for you to finally notice. the noise of the room dulls in your ears, every sound swallowed by the sharp, fast pounding of your heart.
you tear your eyes back to your phone, cheeks blazing, hoping maybe he’ll just forget it happened. but then you hear it — your name, spoken in his voice. low. uncertain.
you glance up again, and he’s shifting closer, his large frame moving carefully, like he doesn’t want to startle you. he settles beside the couch, tilting his head up to catch your gaze, his hands resting awkwardly on his knees.
“can i… ask you something?” his words are hesitant, but his eyes are steady, searching yours.
you swallow hard. “y-yeah?”
he looks down for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek like he’s working up the courage. when he speaks again, his voice is softer, almost shy. “why do you… always look at me like that?”
your breath catches.
he must see the panic in your face, because he immediately waves his hands, stumbling over his own words. “ah, sorry, that sounded—i didn’t mean it in a bad way. i just… i notice. sometimes. a lot, actually.”
his ears are red. bright red, glowing against his pale skin. for someone built like him — tall, broad-shouldered, strong — he suddenly looks impossibly gentle, like he’s terrified of pushing you away.
you want to deny it. to laugh it off, to tell him he’s imagining things. but the way he’s looking at you — cautious, hopeful, like he already knows the truth — makes the words stick in your throat.
“i…” you start, your voice barely above a whisper. “i guess… i can’t help it.”
his eyes widen. for a moment, he just stares, lips parted, like the words short-circuited his brain. then, slowly, his expression shifts. his shoulders relax, his mouth curves, and the smallest, shyest smile spreads across his face.
“you… like me?” he asks, voice breaking a little on the last word.
you bury your face in your hands, mortified, but he laughs — soft, breathless, not mocking at all. “ah, don’t hide. please.” he gently tugs at your wrist, coaxing your hands away. “i just… i didn’t think… you’d ever feel that way about me.”
your heart stutters. “why not?”
his smile turns sheepish, his gaze dropping to his lap. “because you’re… you. and i’m… me. i’m not really good at this stuff.” he rubs the back of his neck, clearly flustered, but his words are honest. “i thought if i tried to talk to you more, i’d just mess it up.”
you blink at him, stunned. all this time you thought you were the only one tripping over your feelings.
“fuma…” you say softly, leaning down just a little, “you couldn’t mess it up.”
his head snaps up, eyes wide and shining, and for a moment he just stares, like he’s trying to commit the sight of you to memory. then, very carefully, he lifts one of those big hands and rests it near yours on the couch cushion. not touching, not yet — just close, an unspoken question.
you slide your fingers over his before you can second-guess yourself.
he exhales shakily, shoulders slumping in relief, his hand curling gently around yours.
the noise of nicholas and euijoo carries on in the background, oblivious, but in this little corner of the room, it feels like it’s only the two of you. fuma’s thumb brushes over your knuckles, tentative but tender, and he looks at you with that shy, boyish smile that makes your stomach flip all over again.
“so… you’ll keep looking at me,” he murmurs, voice almost teasing now, though still soft. “but maybe, this time, i can look back?”
your laugh is quiet, nervous, full of warmth. “yeah. i’d like that.”
and when his grip tightens just slightly, anchoring you there beside him, you realize you’re not the only one who’s been quietly longing all this time.
chat i cant stop thinking about fuma rn I NEEDHIMMMMMMMMMM!!!! I feel like i have read every fuma fic on here….. Imagine how mean he could be oh my GODDDDUHHHHH
hii sweetheart!! i loved the breeding headcannons, would you like to expand on maki's headcannon with a scenario possibly with all the dialogue of the dirty things he'd say🤩🤩🤩
Sooooo I was gonna write something short and sweet but I was inspired so I ended up with THIS
I also have another half written wip with maki + breeding so Maki lovers will be eating good this week
kianamaiart
yousharknotpass
blakekathryn
snowghoul
gracieabrams
germansingergirl
