☾✵ --- r a d i o a c t i v e

♢ * — ❝ SHE'S IN LOVE with w a n i n g (the moon looks prettier fading than it does GROWING & autumn has always been like glancing into a mirror)death and rot and dirt. LOVE is a foreign tongue, a root buried in her mouth and forced down until it began to grow. LOVE, a ticking t i m e bomb in her chest. a spiel she never quite knew the meaning of.

[lcuistcmlinscnarchive]

evan: yo what’s up evan: this is definitely a booty snap btw

[fvcklennon-blog]

lennon: u kno normally i’d try to be cute but lennon: this booty is with a puppy rn lennon: sry there’s a clear winner of my affection :/

[packitupweirdos]

X : ( @fvcklennon )

a knock came at his door shortly after the pizza had arrived. opening it, the tall brunette stood on the other side and christian stepped out of the way to allow her into his room. “bout fucking time,” he groaned jokingly as he smelled her roll past him. the scent of marijuana mixed with too much tequila quickly found his senses as he shut the door behind her with his foot, a loud closing sound following. “pizza just got here so get it while it’s hot..” he pointed to the box that was across his room and on the counter of the kitchen island. “both room mates are gone tonight so feel free drink whatever they have in the fridge, i’ll go out and get some groceries before they’re back..” taking a drink from the bottle of beer he had already opened himself he grabbed a slice of the hot pizza and tossed it onto a plate.

[fvcklennon-blog]

“you’re so impatient.” an eye roll accompanied her statement as she walked into the room. “i know you wait around all day to hang out with me but some of us have shit to do.” her words were juxtaposed by the grin that spread across her features as she dropped her backpack at her feet, bending over to pull out its contents. “besides,” she dangled a half-emptied handle of jose cuervo and a perfectly rolled blunt triumphantly in each hand. “i believe the words you’re looking for are thank you.” placing them both on the counter, lennon moved toward the fridge, grabbing herself a bottle of beer with a “my hero,” before finally settling next to him and taking a slice. “thank god,” she bit into the pizza, a string of cheese stretching momentarily from her lips. “woke up with such a god awful hangover this morning that i haven’t eaten all day.” nose wrinkling at her resultant greasy fingers, she wiped them against his hand before grabbing the blunt. “so i get you all to myself tonight?” a brow arched. “all the more reason to celebrate. you got a light?” 

[scthr]

          A twelve pack of tacos sat snug in their box on Seth’s desk and he sat on the edge of his bed, drumming his fingers against his comforter nervously. Lennon had wanted to talk to him about something that she didn’t know how to say over text which freaked him out to no end. He hadn’t been alone with her for almost a year, unless you count the drunk encounter the two had the other night. Which Seth did not. Growing restless, he decided to fire up his Xbox and calm his nerves with a game of Fifa. But it couldn’t help silence the thoughts racing through his mind at a mile a minute. Whatever Lennon wanted to talk about had to be serious if she didn’t want to do it over the phone. He’d just reached half time in his game when a knock came from the other side of his door. His fingers fumbled with the controller as he powered down the game system and hopped up quickly. Seth grabbed the box of tacos and paused before he opened the door, taking a deep breath and preparing himself for whatever was about to happen. When he’d finally mustered up the courage to open the door, he allowed a small smile to appear on his face when his eyes fell on her. “Hey. Heard you had something to taco bout.” he said, holding up the box of tacos before shaking his head and moving to the side to let her in. “Fuck, that was easily the stupidest thing I’ve ever said.” @fvcklennon

[fvcklennon-blog]

      Lennon paused for outside Seth’s door, fingers toying absentmindedly with the hem of her shirt. She had been standing there silently for longer than she’d intended, heart beating an uneven rhythm against her ribcage, fist extending toward the door and then back toward her side without ever making contact. It’s not too late to leave, she reminded herself, lip pulling beneath her bottom teeth. She had never meant to tell him the truth, had meant to fade quietly into the background until she disappeared entirely. His absence had taken root in the hollow of her stomach, uncomfortable and unavoidable, but Lennon had long ago determined it was a weight she could-- would have to-- live with. Still, something had shifted the other night. Hope, or something dangerously close to it, twisted down inside of her like a seed thinking about growing, and before she could talk herself out of it she raised a fist and rapped it quietly against his door. A small grin to match his lightened her features as she entered the room. “Easily,” she agreed. “And I’ve heard you say a lot of stupid things in your life. Like the time I fucking slipped on a banana peel in the tenth grade and you made Mario Kart jokes for the rest of the month.” Dark tresses fell against her cheeks in an attempt to hide the stupid grin that spread across her lips at his joke. The girl had grown so used to the wall Seth had built between them, to the anger and avoidance and silence. She’d never admit it, but she would’ve gladly given up all the Taco Bell in the world just to hear him laugh with her again. “I’ll forgive it, though. But only because you bought the food and I’ve literally never been so hungry in my life.” Grabbing one from the box, she made herself comfortable against the end of his bed, body tucked into the corner. So much had changed since she’d last been alone with him, but maybe if she pretended that nothing had she could will away her nerves. She glanced around the room, taking it in, before her gaze landed on his Xbox. “Bet I could still kick your ass with that.” She nodded her chin toward the machine. Looking up at him through her lashes, Lennon wondered if it were too late to leave, or to shrink into his covers and never come back, or to erase the past year so that none of it had ever happened in the first place. “But, uh, right. Not the reason I’m here. Maybe later, though.” 

[fvcklennon-blog]

imessage ✉ lennon

seth: what things do we need to talk about??

seth: but i'm always down for TB

lennon: i'll explain when i see u

lennon: thought so. pick me up in 20?

[dvnicls]

❝ - so let’s say the purge was an actual thing - what would you do? Be honest. ❞

[fvcklennon-blog]

❝ I can always count on you to ask the questions that matter. I don’t know what I’d do. It’s not like my house would have any of that fancy protection stuff, so maybe just accept my fate? Get super drunk and wait for the end of the world? Or crash your purge party and force you to take me under your wing. Ruin your plans to run off and join the fun and force you to stay inside and protect me instead. Only-- I’d feel so bad for anyone who needed a place to go, I’d definitely be the kid who fucks it up and lets in a stranger like in the movie. So maybe it’s better if you don’t protect me, after all. Leave me to the wolves before I get us both killed. ❞

[fvcklennon-blog]

text 💬 lennon

marley: well he's not you ;)

marley: wait that doesn't work ur not a boy

marley: it's fine

marley: i am the tinder queen i don't HAVE TIME FOR LOL AND THEN WHAT

lennon: pls marls i far surpass any amount of love u could feel for a tINDER BOY

lennon: everyone knows tinder boys fall like 10 levels below real boys on a good day

lennon: ok but what would you be doing if i were there ;)

[packitupweirdos]

What do you get out of it? You get the satisfaction of knowing I wanted to spend time with you this evening. And free pizza. Maybe a back rub or something if you’re lucky. No one is a better motivational speaker than you, Lennon so don’t you even worry about it. I didn’t suck anyone off but if someone gave me something in return to accepting my entrance here… well….. I’ll keep that to myself. Just kidding. I’m not a Hallmark movie special. Just bring me tequila, weed, and that pretty face of yours and we’ll be straight.

[fvcklennon-blog]

Disregarding the first part of that statement as irrelevant, I’m going to focus on the free pizza and the back rub because finally I hear some words worth putting on shoes for. Especially the back rub. You put that idea in my head and now I’m holding you to it. Like music to my ears. I’ll motivate your ass all the way to graduation, aren’t you lucky? I’m sure Dean Holloway loves your version of events; let’s spread that rumor. Yale should’ve known better than to be fooled by that sweet smile of yours and locked you out when they had the chance. Fine. I’m coming. But only because you called me pretty.

[fvcklennon-blog]

text 💬 lennon

marley: oh dont you worry i moved on real quick

marley: found someone better that doesn't resort to badly written poetry to get a girl

lennon: ooooooh tell me about tinder boy #2

lennon: is he the tinder boy of your dreams

lennon: r u gonna do some hot tinder sexting while he asks "lol and then what"

[fvcklennon-blog]

text 💬 lennon

marley: i just matched with this guy on tinder right

marley: first thing he does it write me a motherfucking haiku

marley: "tinder says we match, we can get drinks together, i have a big cock"

marley: i mean points for being poetic???

lennon: i'm not sure whether i should encourage you to unmatch him or send him nudes for effort

lennon: leaning toward unmatch tho bc it sounds like he might have a micropenis ://///

[fvcklennon-blog]

imessage ✉ lennon

seth: it feels good thanks for asking

seth: that's plan B dude how'd u know

seth: the idea of you passing out in some strangers yard does not sit well w/ me let's not ok

seth: i never hated u it was just easier to be mad at you

lennon: truly inspiring

lennon: i hope you have a good plan a :)

lennon: but don't you wanna know maybe just a little if they'd turn the sprinklers on? you could catch it on vid and make me go viral

lennon: i don't want you to be mad at me

lennon: listen i think maybe we should talk about some things and idk how to do it over text and i'm also really hungry (see: prior message about hangover) so are you busy later?im craving taco bell

[fvcklennon-blog]

imessage ✉ lennon

seth: you confessed you were still in love with me ....so pretty embarrassing

seth: haha jk u didn't do that

seth: you're welcome though, just had to make sure you were okay

seth: sorry i was a dick to you the other day on the soccer field

lennon: hey how's it feel 2 be the worst person ever??? asking for science

lennon: have you considered a career as a stand up comedian

lennon: i'm okay. you know me. queen of doing dumb things and regretting them later. maybe next time i'll pass out in someone's front yard instead of calling you just to see if they turn the sprinklers on like in the movies.

lennon: does this mean you don't hate me

[packitupweirdos]

Could you be anymore fucking rude? Jessica Alba is not too good for me. I’m amazing, DJ Khalid says so. They WANT you to fail. They WANT you to feel not good enough for the woman of your dreams. The key is to OWN it. Or some shit. Anyways, tequila is disgusting but if it’s all you have then I guess I can make it work. I don’t know how you could tolerate that death liquid. It’s literal poison if you ask me. You got into Yale because you worked hard or paid a lot of money, it’s never in between. I don’t particularly care which you fall under because I enjoy your company so you could have sucked the dean off and I’d have been fine with that.

[fvcklennon-blog]

Maybe if I tried really hard. Fine! Fine, DJ Khalid, take it down a notch. All of this self empowerment is giving me hives. You OWN it. I believe you. I’d never want to see you fail and neither would Jessica Alba, woman of your dreams and future Mrs. Christian Reeves. There, how’s that for a pep talk? We can’t have someone famous for getting lost on a jet ski and overusing the key emoji be a better motivational speaker than me. It’s not disgusting, it’s holy water. Let it cleanse you. You might make some mistakes but chances are you won’t remember them in the morning, so what’s it matter? Wait, I’m bringing the drugs and the alcohol? What am I getting out of this, exactly? I definitely didn’t pay a lot of money, so I guess I fall under the other category. Aw, you enjoy my company? You’re making me blush. Sucked the dean off, huh? Is that how you got in?

[fvcklennon-blog]

imessage ✉ lennon

seth: hey

seth: u good?

lennon: hi

lennon: well, i have a terrible headache, i haven't been able to eat all day, and i'm pretty sure i still smell like tequila even though i showered. but other than that, yeah, i'm peachy

lennon: look i don't remember most of... or any... of what happened last night but i do remember you coming to my rescue, so thanks. you didn't have to do that. the grass was comfy but my bed was better.

lennon: god, how embarrassing was i?

[wtafgrace]

“I slammed my window shut on accidednt andd my entire bedroom fell down… Even the dog looked at me like; what the hell? But yeah, that was my morning. How’s your day going?”

[fvcklennon-blog]

“well, fuck. i always knew you were hiding some brute strength in those skinny little arms of yours. your poor dog was probably scared. i always wanted one when i was growing up, but my mom never let me have one. said she was allergic but i think she just didn’t want to take care of it. not that we had the money, anyway. my day’s been peachy. woke up with a fuckin’ terrible hangover and absolutely no memory of what happened after about 2 am or how i made it back to my bed. and it’s only monday! so many days left in the week to screw up. this is what makes america, america.” 

[petalips]

sc 👻 all contacts

RORY: baby got a nose piercing RORY: ,,, good or bad decision?

[fvcklennon-blog]

LENNON: you went .... without me ??? LENNON: what the fUCK LENNON: it looks hot tho

[scthr]

            seth made himself comfortable in the grass, moving from his kneeling position to a seat right next to her. “drinking isn’t your biggest talent. have you seen your drawings? or watched yourself dance? you’re all sorts of talented.” he said gently, not having the heart to be cold to her in the state she was in. what she’d done to him had messed him up, sure. but when it came down to it, she was always going to hold a special place in his heart. which is why he was sitting next to her on the side of the road at god knows what time, instead of back in his cozy bed where he could have been. at her question, his breath caught in his throat. “you let me go.  you don’t get to say shit like that anymore, lennon. just because you won’t remember you said it tomorrow doesn’t mean i won’t. fuck.” seth mumbled, rubbing at his temple. “can you get in my car, please? it’s really late and we’ve got classes tomorrow.”

[fvcklennon-blog]

                lennon stared a the grass, small hands pulling strands from the ground in an attempt to distract from the slight flush she knew was creeping into her cheeks. she’d never been deft at accepting compliments, was even worse at believing them. the only time she’d ever come close was when they were spoken in seth’s sincere voice. she laughed slightly, the sound combining with a hiccup, before finally glancing up to meet his gaze. “i look like the biggest dork when i dance,” she corrected, a small grin stretching across her lips. “don’t you remember how many times i tripped over my dress at prom? i thought it was going to rip.” at his next words, though, her grin fell away, expression suddenly becoming serious. “only because i had to, though.” her words were earnest, eyes searching. she’d known leaving would hurt; she wasn’t so clueless or naive that she could think otherwise. but she’d never imagined how much, still couldn’t, never crossed her mind that it could be anything more than ripping off a bandaid and waiting for the marks to fade. “and breaking up is different than letting go.” her tongue feels loose in her mouth, bottled up guilts and regrets threatening to overflow with the loss of her filter. she nods, a bob of the chin, before heaving upwards, teetering, somehow finding enough balance to make her way over to his vehicle. “i just wanted you to be happy, seth. i never thought we’d be at the same school. i never even thought i’d go to school.” sliding into the passenger seat, she curls up, head against the window, trying not to think of all the other times she’d been in the same car with the same boy under entirely different circumstances. long brown tresses catch against her cheeks as she shakes her head in an attempt to expel the memories. “i didn’t make you cancel anything too important for this, did i? i’m sorry i dragged you into it. i was just being stupid.” she’d do the same tomorrow night, she was already sure, but it was easier to pretend that she was someone better.

[fvcklennon-blog]

msg ✉️ real ass wife

RORY: i'M SORRY I'M NOT GOOD AT MULTITASKING I CAN'T TEXT U & B PRODUCTIVE @ THE SAME TIME

RORY: yes yesssss and every1 will write cute fanfics abt us

RORY: no i diD IT FOR U I PROMISE no i don't actually but yes i will be pouty i wanted a good fuck for once :////

RORY: dw maybe if i don't believe hard enough we'll get out of it

RORY: i hAD TO FUCKING RUN UR WELCOME UGH

LENNON: you could ... if u tried ... i believe in u rory i believe in ur potential

LENNON: ppl probably already do that i mean have u seen us? we're so cute?

LENNON: if ur pouty im not letting u pick the movie

LENNON: maybe if you don't believe hard enough we can just live forever but actually that might suck equally as much nvm

LENNON: YES SANDWICH TIME IM READY