@allcxs !
‘ I wish I could go in there. See how everyone’s doing. ’
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@allcxs !
‘ I wish I could go in there. See how everyone’s doing. ’
LOU HOLSTAD:
“ Who says I need a wingman, or woman or whatever ? All I know is that I don’t need anyone BUTTING in. Me and Wins are so super cool right now, maybe, I like it the way it is. Why don’t you worry about your own love life instead of tryin’ to get hired a my winglady. ”
‘ My love life is ... fine, thank you VERY much. Come on, if you guys aren’t dating, is it really SUPER COOL? I think not. Come on, you have to give me something to do with this information. Let me help, or at least let me tell Kevin. ’
JOSEPH ESTRADA:
he couldn’t help but feel like an idiot; how could he NOT know that pippa was feeling this way? how could he have been so blind to the fact that she was silently suffering while he just assumed everything was as it should’ve been in their relationship. and for that, he blamed himself –– so much so that a tight knot began to form in the pit of his stomach and the words catching in his throat. joseph’s hand still remained on pippa’s cheek, this time wiping away the tears that escaped her eyes, paying no mind to the ones stinging his. she had been the only person he felt for; sure, there were people here and there that held some sort of sentiment with him, but nothing compared to HER. joseph had always cared about her –– of course this practically familial love grew into a romantic one –– but the compassion and never ending worry had forever been set in stone. with these feelings in mind, it absolutely SHATTERED him to see the girl upset and he felt as if it were his responsibility to try to fix whatever was broken. “ but i want to try, baby, please … ” there was a certain desperation in his voice that caused goosebumps to form on his own skin, surprised at how hurt he sounded. it wasn’t very fair to her, joseph thought, to be as wounded as he was when she’d been upset for so long. the older’s next move was to take pippa into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her tightly as if he were trying to cease her shaking. “ please don’t be sad –– – you’re such a beautiful and smart girl, i love you so much .. please don’t be sad. ”
She was quiet as he held her, the only noise elicited from her shaking form quiet sniffles and the occasional shaky breath. ‘ Don’t, ’ She finally muttered, shaking her head and tearing away from him ---- suddenly, abruptly. ‘ Don’t STAND THERE, making me feel terrible for ... for hurting. Don’t cry, don’t hold me, don’t call me baby. LET ME LEAVE. ’ Her voice was angry now, scathing, though tears still streaked across olive features. ‘ Let me let you go. Please, Joseph. PLEASE. Let me go. Let me be sad so I can be happy again! ’
JOSEPH ESTRADA:
“ why aren’t you happy? i can make you happy –– – baby, let me make you happy. tell me what i can do and i’ll do it just … talk to me. i love you, okay? please let me at least try. ”
‘ I’m just not, ’ Her voice was low, barely a whisper --- and a far cry from her usual brash personality. On the final word she mumbled, it broke, and she felt the sting of warm tears pooling in her eyes. She was MISERABLE. She hated feeling like the weight of the world was on her shoulders, like there was no good reason for her to carry it anymore. She wanted to crumble underneath it, let herself be crushed into oblivion just so the emptiness would STOP. And she felt if she remained close to him, some of the weight would be lifted ---- it always did. When she was with him, when she was with Kevin, some of the pressure she felt ----- for what, she didn’t know ----- was alleviated. But she’d decided if must have gone to them. And she couldn’t do that to the only people she loved. ‘ I’m not happy. Nothing can make me happy, please, please, please ------ don’t try. Don’t. It’s not going to work. I don’t want you to have to try, ’ By now, the younger was shaking like a leaf, tears streaming down tanned cheeks. She wasn’t sure why she was in such pain, but she knew one thing ---- ---- she hated feeling so DELICATE, so broken.
KEVIN OSWALT:
‘ That’s good, that’s a plus ! Maybe it’ll be fine. But, why would you WANT to ? Seems like a lot of maintenance & planning for no reason. ’
‘ The truth is never fun, Kevin. It’s either TERRIBLE or BORING. I get that it seems like a lot of upkeep, but ... when you’re good at lying, it gets easier. ‘N you start to care less. ’
LOU HOLSTAD:
“ Shh ! Let the whole town know, why don’t you ! And NO ! No freaking way ! You don’t say a word, to anyone. I already regret telling you. ”
‘ FINE, FINE! Party pooper. My lips, are SEALED! Cross my heart, hope to die, whatever. Point is, if you like someone, though, you totally need a wingman. Or in this case .... ---- ’ She gestured to herself, grin filling dainty features. ‘ WINGLADY! ’
JOSEPH ESTRADA:
“ what? ––– – WHY? ”
‘ ‘Cause I’m not happy, Joseph. I’m not ... happy with anything, it’s not you. And I think, maybe if I had a reason for not being happy, I could ... I could get over it quicker. Don’t ... don’t try and convince me I’m wrong, or to stay because I won’t. I can’t. ’
TAG DUMP !!
JOSEPH ESTRADA:
“ i don’t know if i like the sound of that –– – what’s going on, baby girl? ”
‘ I ... I think we should, maybe --- uh, TAKE A BREAK. ’
LOU HOLSTAD:
“ Fine. I don’t get why you wanna know though, it’s kinda weird. But Winnie, alright ? She’s cool and I wouldn’t exactly mind if someone were to happen between us. ”
‘ OH MY GOD! Winnie? For fucking real? Aw, you guy’s’d be so CUTE! Do you want me to talk to her, be like “ hey, you know Lou? Totally a fox! ” ’
KEVIN OSWALT:
‘ I know you’re RIGHT, but… it’s so much more than just my relationship. If people find out what Ryan & I did… Would you take it back ? People knowing about you & Joseph. If you could. ’
‘ --- --- That’s hard to say, I think. But ... I really don’t think I would. Living in the shadows is ... ... DIFFICULT. It’s only fun to lie when you want to. ’