can't find the words;

guinevere fairchild, 17 years old, daughter of eunomia + head counsellor of cabin 41. twin.

[crazyexedits]

[ardenmacintyre]

@fxirandjust

She has to take a moment to consider it. Guinevere feels so conflicted at this point. She knows that everything Arden is saying sounds and feels right, but she still feels like the lame can’t fully be shifted onto the randomness of the attack. “It feels like it, though.”

Arden nodded. “I know.” She knew that her words alone weren’t going to sway the other’s mind, but she did want to ease Guinevere’s conscience and worries. Not by force or through her abilities, though. “It will take time, of course. Everyone is still recovering, and you’re not meant to be strong all the time.”

[fxirandjust]

She takes a deep breath. Her heart’s beating faster than she realised; Guinevere didn’t know just how much it was bothering her. She can’t help it. Biting her lip, she continues, trying to calm herself down, but she still can’t help but feel anxious. “Thanks Arden.”

[fxirandjust]

She figures that since she’s late, she’d better make a run for it. Guin has barely left her cabin, which felt so far away from her meeting spot with the other Veronica. She breaks into a sprint, phone still in her hand, and it’s then that she realises; Veronica will definitely get the joke. She’s heading to her own decryptor as she thinks. She’s getting closer, and Guin sees a silhouette. When she begins to smell that stuff that her friend loves so much filling the air as she approaches, she knows it definitely her, not someone else. She shoves the other girl in the shoulder from behind, a grin on her face as she pants and gasps for air. “Hey! Sorry I was late. Can ye help me wit’ somethin’? It’ll explain why I was late fer meetin’ ya, I promise.”

[fxirandjust]

ardenmacintyre:

Arden sighed. “The eidolons are spirits that only strive to bring chaos. It’s not your fault that they used your own abilities against you.” She swore that the next time she encountered any of those monsters, she’d be prepared. It was clear that the campers here hadn’t been ready to deal with an attack that swept throughout the camp. Especially one with psychological consequences for some of the campers. “Just because you were targeted doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.”

She has to take a moment to consider it. Guinevere feels so conflicted at this point. She knows that everything Arden is saying sounds and feels right, but she still feels like the lame can’t fully be shifted onto the randomness of the attack. “It feels like it, though.”

[miserybcrn-deactivated20181021]

@fxirandjust // partners.

      [ 📱 ⇢ sms: guin ] : happy valentines day       [ 📱 ⇢ sms: guin ] : image_attachment.jpeg       [ 📱 ⇢ sms: guin ] : reminded me of you           veronica smiled as she texted her unseen friend the valentine’s day card && thought about her text friend. ( GODS ABOVE, she missed vine all too much ). for quite a while now, she had been slightly flirting with the other girl && maybe this was pushing it. she had questioned once or twice if it were possible that she liked her, but had always quickly brushed it off. you couldn’t like someone you’ve never seen before && veronica would probably never meet this guin, right? nevertheless, she tucked her phone away. she had agreed to hang out with a friend for valentine’s day && have a walk in the woods, since they were both single, had parental issuses, && were very, very sad.

[fxirandjust]

Her crappy phone buzzes in her pocket, and Guinevere’s surprised; though she and Veronica, her mysterious friend who could be more had been texting her for quite a while, Guin still wasn’t used to someone actually talking to her on a regular basis through the medium of her phone. She smiles as she takes it out of her pocket, frowning slightly at the message before realising there’s an image attachment. She clicks on the message, and sighs, waiting what feels like an absolute age for it to load. When it eventually loads, she’s greeted by what she assumes is meant to be a joke, but it’s one that completely loses her. Frowning, she resolved she’ll ask someone else later on, for it’s at this moment that she realises she’s late for meeting the other Veronica.

[fxirandjust]

ardenmacintyre:

Arden nodded, watching the other’s face as she spoke. She couldn’t imagine what that must have been like, to be possessed by something hell-bent on destruction, but she felt like it was good to at least listen to the worries of those who had been victims. “I know. I know it feels hopeless. But everyone was surprised by the attack. The eidolons got to us before we knew they were there, so there was nothing to be done other than fight.”

She nods, but it’s clear that Arden’s words aren’t really getting through to her. Guinevere feels at fault for everything that happened. She runs a hand through a few strands of hair that have come loose, fixing them behind her ear again. “They used my power  on others. They hadn’t even done anything wrong.. I haven’t even worked out how to do that myself yet.” She mumbles. Not that she’d want to, anyway, but it just made her feel so weak and useless again. This feeling seemed to be a constant here. 

[adaptedtoxo]

[fxirandjust]

miserybcrn:

          ❝ yeah. i’ve been totally fine, just helping around camp a little, ❞ she clarified, letting a sigh aimed at herself, ❝ i should be the one asking you that question. how are you holding up? you were the one who was possessed after all, ❞ veronica couldn’t beat around the bush with this && thought she had to be blunt with guin && just say what she was thinking. seeing that the other wasn’t looking back at her, veronica also looked away sheepishly && lightly bit her lip. what if she didn’t want her here? what if the other wanted to be alone? was she just bothering her at this point? so many negative thoughts crossed her mind && made her want to walk away from it all.

Straight in there with the one subject she’d thought they would avoid. Guinevere has to admire the guts that Veronica has. She’s much bolder than herself, that’s for sure. Perhaps it’s why they get along so well; Veronica is exactly what Guin wants to be. A small smile forms, and she finally is able to look up at the other girl. “’M okay. Not amazin’, but I’ll be fine, don’t ya worry.” It was a blatant lie, but she hoped it was enough to get an suspicion off of her and how she felt.

[keldarkholme-deactivated2018032]

It had taken Zefyre a while to get to camp. All the while, she had monsters chasing her, her only defense being her powers, which she hadn’t yet mastered, and her cane, which didn’t usually work all that well on monsters. She was tired, having not slept for almost two days, but she knew she was getting closer. Why else would she have more monsters on her trail then ever?

 She kept running, her cane clacking on the ground as she went, the wind blowing around her hair. It was winter, that was for sure. The borders of camp approached her, she could feel the magic or Mist or whatever it was running through her body. Zefyre only had a few more steps to go, all the way through the borders.  If only she could have that windy horse spirit now.

The monsters had almost overcome her now, and she could feel her strength sapping away. She took three running leaps, and landed inside the border, or what she felt to be the border, taking a deep breath. She heard some of the monsters leave, while others ran against it. She had no idea what was going on inside camp, and hopefully wasn’t interrupting anything

[fxirandjust]

After the incident with the Eidolons, Guinevere had implemented her own litle additional border patrols, feeling like she owed something to the camp for all the pain she’d caused. She’d been standing at the top of the hill, taking a short break to enjoy the view, when she sees a girl approaching. She’s being followed by monsters, and it’s in that moment that Guin knows that she was meant to be here for this. She quickly pulls an arrow from her quiver, aiming at the monster closest to the girl. She manages to hit it in the leg, causing it to fall backwards down the hill, taking the next closest with it. A smirk forms, and she quickly approaches the girl once she’s on their side of the border. “Hi, strange question, but have ye been t' camp before, or will ye be needin' de tour?” 

[fxirandjust]

miserybcrn:

         tense to approach, veronica was timid. how do you approach this? she was the one to knock the eidolon out her friend’s body. swallowing a lump in her throat && waving off to the other, veronica gave a concerned, yet somehow relieved, face. ❝ hey guin… how are you doing? ❞ she asked, slow && gentle with her, being possessed must have left some major psychological damage. seeing yourself destroy almost anything && attack others no way to stop it yourself would hurt anyone. maybe making your mother the goddess of the law made it worse. veronica could almost feel the misery && despair leeching off the girl. almost pitiful, no, don’t think that roni. sitting down in front of the daughter of eunomia, veronica took another deep breath. ❝ do you uh- wanna talk about any of it? ❞

She heard her voice before she really saw who it was that was approaching her. Fear takes hold of her heart, because as much as Guinevere loved conversations with this girl, who seemed to have gone through as much as her, she couldn’t face her, not after what had happened. The Eidolon had been so cruel to her friend, her only true friend here, and while she knew it wasn’t her own fault, she was scared her friend wouldn’t see it that way. She swallows nervously, unable to hold the other girl’s gaze. “I don’t know. Are ye okay?”

[fxirandjust]

carina-diaz:

“Hey… Are you alright?” Cara murmurs, bending down close to the girl but still trying to give her enough space. Her expression is full of pity and concern. So many campers looked like her lately, especially though who’d been possessed. It was understandable, but Cara only wished there was something they could do to help. Physical ailments she could heal… emotional? Not so much.

She’s not really one to open up to people. Guinevere feels like this incident has given her even more reason not to, given how it had left her feeling, but it’s then that a thought comes to her; if the Eidolon can read her thoughts anyway, she’s got nothing left to hide. Their enemies can read her weaknesses easily, meaning there’s no point trying to keep everything she’s carried inside for so long within her. She can feel tears brewing. “No. I’m not.” 

[fxirandjust]

ardenmacintyre:

It felt like the whole camp had dropped in morale, most campers either blaming themselves for what they had done or helping the wounded. Arden sat next to Guinevere, sensing something wrong with the demigod. She’d seen her with golden eyes during the chaos. That was likely the cause of her terrible mood. Arden shut her eyes, summoning a small wave of peace to wash over the other, hoping it would help. “It wasn’t your fault. I know you likely have heard that a lot, but…you couldn’t have stopped the eidolon.” It was a tad straightforward, but she needed Guinevere to realize that nothing could’ve been done.

She glances down at her hands, which can’t seem to stay still any more. She appreciated Arden’s words, for she felt that they got along, in the conversations she’d had with her. She takes a deep breath, feeling a chill as the wind blows. The camp had felt colder ever since the incident, even though the Eidolons and Christmas were long gone by now. “I feel like I could’ve done something. I feel like I didn’t do enough.” She explains bitterly. 

[fxirandjust]

She’s at a loss for words. She feels like a monster; but that’s her birth right, Guinevere muses bitterly, her thoughts ambling towards her father. She quickly dismissed it, trying her hardest to hide the anger and pain. She couldn’t believe that she’d been so easy to take over, and had been unable to fight it. She’d destroyed so much, torn down the cabins of smaller gods, taunted demigods with migraines that prevented them from fighting back. So much for lawfulness. Guin feels empty on the inside, almost as though that… thing had carved a hole inside of her, which now remained empty, desperate for something to fill it. She looks up as she hears someone come closer. She looks broken. She feels it too.

[soleilaathayer]

“Guin, it’s not your fault.” Soleila mumbled as she brought the girl some water. “No one could have predicted any if this.”

[fxirandjust]

Somewhere deep inside, she knows that the other girl is right. At least, somewhat. Yet, Guinevere can’t shake the feeling that in is her fault. She’d been weak, she’d been angry. It seemed to feed off those emotions, which egged it on more. That had been a part of her. “I feel like I could’ve done more though.”

[fxirandjust]

14+25

14. Guinevere remembers faces easier. She’s a much more visual person, so if she sees a face, an outline, she’s more likely to associate a certain style or facial expression with that person, but if the whole camp walked around with name badges, she’d remember them by name, no problem.

25. She used to be much more trusting, and wouldn’t suspect anyone of doing anything against her, but that was until the drama with her father lying. While she has the ability to sense when she’s being deceived, she finds it much more difficult to relax and actually believe that people aren’t trying to gain something from her. If she’s close with the person, she becomes even more suspicious (given what has happened in the past).

[hbrp-aesthetic-blog]

children of eunomia ↪ aesthetic

[fxirandjust]

8+37

8. She’s never fired a gun at a person, but she’s carried one around a lot and knows how to aim well. Back home, she and her sister were often on guard of the boarders of the village, which is why she enjoys guarding the boarders of camp. It’s one of the few areas she feels she can actually excel as opposed to fall behind due to her late start. She can spot and hear things in the distance better than any average demigod due to her “training”.

37. After leaving behind the village, she’s not as concerned with either of them as she once was. Had you met Guinevere this time a year ago, the answer would have plain and simply been guarding her status, as she was one of the people that all the standards were set on, but now, that is shifting gradually. She doesn’t really believe in honour, as she’s ashamed of herself and the things that she has done, but she doesn’t believe in guarding her status either (mainly because she hasn’t got much around camp, but also because she realises how fickle it is).

[fxirandjust]

ask meme: her cabin number

Cabin 41.