ღ for wonbin and yibo (present day)
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A sweaty hand met the floor button on the service elevator; a side effect of the nerves. It had been months since he had last seen the handsome face that was once his boyfriend, but it felt more like years. And yet it felt like only a few weeks. Cases would do that to a mind, becoming your entire world and completely forgetting about your own, the one you’ve built and the one that included the people you loved in it. Yibo had his regrets but none of which could hold such a powerful storm inside him for what he had done to Wonbin.
For the last twenty-four hours, he found himself riddled with fears and constant self-talks, trying to figure out what would be the right thing to say. Except even the young lawyer knew that no amount of words could make up for the fact that he created a severe amount of distance between him and Wonbin. Of course none of this had to do with the radio host at all and that was the most troublesome of this attempted apology / conversation. He pushed the man away, allowing a trial consume every aspect of Yibo because that was all he knew. And he ended up not just hurting himself but the man he loved in the process.
He was not looking for forgiveness or at least this was what he was convincing himself as he stepped out of the elevator, heading to Wonbin’s apartment. Forgiveness felt like a pointless request. An undeserved request at that. For Yibo knew that he didn’t deserve redemption of any means for the way he treated Wonbin. Instead he was here to say his peace, to allow each other for closure if the man hadn’t already moved on. After several missed called and unreplied text messages, he doubted the other was waiting for Yibo’s return.
But .. he had to at least say his peace. Then he could leave the man alone and allow their journeys in this world to separate.
This was the plan. It wasn’t by any means solid but it was one he going to carry out. If that meant having the door slammed in his face during the process then so be it. It was time to face Wonbin, man to man, because his once boyfriend deserved that.
His hand knocked on the door, trying to ignore the thoughts of running towards the elevator and forgetting about this whole thing. As much as he wanted to right his wrongs, facing Wonbin today required strengthen he wasn’t sure he had in him. But Yibo stood still in waiting and as a few minutes passed, he wondered if he had the right address. Or if maybe Wonbin moved? Or what if the other had saw him standing in front of his door and chose to ignore him? He knocked again, this time a little harder to get the attention of whoever might be behind the other side of the door. The younger man didn’t even notice he was holding his breath until the door opened and Wonbin appeared.
Part of him desperately wanted to reach out to him but he knew better. Before the other could shut the door on him, Yibo’s hand reached out, holding the door in place. “Please, I know I’m not someone you want to see right now but I need to tell you that I’m sorry. I know I don’t deserve your time but you deserve a whole-hearted apology from me.” His eyes, dark and filled with sorrow, met Wonbin’s, pleading to be given a chance. “Please.”
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