fyodors wife

perhaps i will rot

[toastbite]

can't get past the introduction because my son wants to climb me and steal my book

[fyodorable]

cute!! and I love this bookmark, reminds me of my copy of crime and punishment from the vintage russian classics collection

[fyodorable]

it was only when bts started making its comeback did i learn that they were only doing military training or something., i thought everyone was crying and cutting themselves because they were going to actual war. this entire time i thought they were going to die for their country and i was so amazed they even had a comeback

[fyodorable]

i thought this was a justified assumption until someone asked me "what war would they have been fighting in???" and my first thought was 'obviously The Unknown War in South Korea'

[fyodorable]

it was only when bts started making its comeback did i learn that they were only doing military training or something., i thought everyone was crying and cutting themselves because they were going to actual war. this entire time i thought they were going to die for their country and i was so amazed they even had a comeback

[kosmogrl]

[fyodorable]

me every summer

[fyodorable]

you would truly think that the man who wrote poems about some mentally ill guy killing women in victorian london had something deeply wrong with him... but alas, robert browning strikes again

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

one of the things that makes crime and punishment so fascinating is that it’s about such a horrible thing and what comes after it but also there is just so much love all the time. raskolnikov is going out of his mind after committing murder but can’t stop thinking about how his sister is going to marry someone she doesn’t respect so their family can stay afloat financially. dunya is trying to take care of her horribly anxious mother and support her family through a humiliating marriage but she still finds time to make sure rodya is okay because something is wrong and she knows it. she knows him. pulcheria is so worried and over the top and she’s annoying her kids and she knows it but she gets everything organized so she can go see her son who she hoped could go be someone in petersburg and he isn’t and she doesn’t care about that anymore. she just wants to see him and hold him and tell him she loves him. razumikhin doesn’t really know what’s going on with his weird avoidant friend and maybe he doesn’t know how to heat up the soup he’s bringing to him but he is by raskolnikov’s side at every second and will make sure his family is ok in petersburg when rodya can’t. a thousand horrible things have happened to sonya and all she has ever known is people who will take advantage of her but she just keeps pouring out love

[fyodorable]

STOP IT because raskolnikov loves the marmeladov family too and asks polenka if she will love him and lets her hug him and asks for her to pray for him as "the servant of God, rodion" because he loves them and wants them to love him too!!!

[phrogthegene]

son im crine and punishment

[fus-mar-hoz]

slendermarx to engels on his deathbed: collect my manuscripts

[lesbianraskolnikov]

im going to be sick

[jock-o-romma]

Alyosha cheering up a gloomy Ivan with some stargazing

[purereads]

daily affirmations:

1) I am not a flop.

2) I am not chopped.

3) I exist. In thousands of agonies — I exist. I’m tormented on the rack — but I exist! Though I sit alone in a pillar — I exist! I see the sun, and if I don’t see the sun, I know it’s there. And there’s a whole life in that, in knowing that the sun is there.

[vancruejovi]

[russsiawave]

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

it is so funny that raskolnikov’s whole family believes the dunya/luzhin engagement drama is the A-plot of their drama in petersburg while raskolnikov is like going around the city in a complete delirium telling everyone about how he killed two people. and the thing is raskolnikov ALSO thinks his sister is the main character

[fyodorable]

razumikhin had maybe the faintest suspicion something was wrong but he was like who cares i need to go protect MY QUEEN!!!

[animentality]

[fyodorable]

fairly sure this is what dostoevsky meant by the "russian spirit"

[123lostgirl]

"On his return from Moscow, he abandoned himself hopelessly to his mad and consuming passion for Katerina Ivanovna. This is not the time to begin to speak of this new passion of Ivan’s, which left its mark on all the rest of his life: this would furnish the subject for another novel, which I may perhaps never write." FYODOR IF YOU DONT RISE FROM THE GRAVE AND WRITE THAT KATERIVAN TOXIC LOVE NOVEL RN. STOP TEASING

[fyodorable]

they were so cute i love them so much and i will forever mourn the fact they never got their novel 😔💔

[fyodorable]

My journey of humanity-

Twas some years ago when I received the revelation of my purpose in life. What was my purpose? To suffer. I had been searching for meaning endlessly, determined to find my purpose, my reason, my why. The conclusion was: to suffer. I would never escape this suffering, and even when I gained autonomy, worldly freedom to do as I please, I would find that for all of my life, I would give and give and get nothing, on and on until I gave my last. I would have to suffer under the hands of somebody, and if they did not make me suffer, I would go on towards the path of self destruction! I would cause myself to suffer- it would start small and insignificant, and it would accumulate until the inevitable. I would gamble all my money away for the cheap thrill, I would drink and drink until I dropped dead, I would bury myself in work until I forgot to eat and sleep, and I would lead myself to death! What I firmly believed was this: that I would die from someone else's hands around my throat, or my own! For that was my purpose and all I would ever be, a vessel of suffering! From then on, I wished to suffer beautifully, like a sad, lonely painting. But I have changed now. I have learnt many things, one being that suffering is never beautiful. The scrunched up face of a baby crying isn't beautiful, nor are the sobs of a desperate man, raw and ugly. Even our bodies in death are not beautiful- they rot, they smell putrid, and flesh is eaten by flies. What beauty is there in suffering? That is why we make art out of suffering, to make it beautiful and lovely and just that bit more bearable. But I digress- I realised that suffering isn't beautiful. I have thought differently about many things since then. I no longer believe that my purpose is to suffer- on the contrary, I find it rather ridiculous. Instead, I do not know what my meaning is… or perhaps I do, but I have buried the question so deep within my bones that I have forgotten about it. Perhaps I don't have a purpose- that, too, is a change. I am not a nihilist, because I think it's rather stupid. Also, I believe in God, but I also believe that God dislikes me and that I'm rather doomed. What I have found is that I have gained my humanity. Almost in juxtaposition, I realised this when I realised that I did not know who I am. What do I like, what do I dislike, what makes me happy? I have no answer for these questions, but the mere fact I even ask myself about my happiness means I am more human than I was yesterday. When I thought my meaning was to suffer, I continued life as a walking corpse, forgive the cliche. I've yet to live, not merely survive. But now, I want to live. And this realisation that I am human and I deserve to not suffer, is quite nice.