hell is empty

[[ gabriel spencer prometheus. 28. linguistics. ]]

[gabexspencer-blog]

DEATH is inside the folding cots: it spends its LIFE sleeping on the slow mattresses, in the BLACK blankets, and suddenly breathes out: it blows out a mournful sound that swells the sheets, and the beds go sailing toward a PORT where DEATH is waiting, dressedlike an ADMIRAL.

[gabexspencer-blog]

if anyone would like to find Gabe's body/be there when the explosion happened/be there when he died I'm cool but talk to @xttis

[gabexspencer-blog]

The explosion had knocked Gabe clean off his feet, where he had been standing in the stairwell, knocked him far away from Ward, knocked him straight into a wall and down onto the floor. When Ward was finally able to make it over to his shaking body, he was all but dead. An exposed piece of metal, the skeleton of the building that was crumbling down around him had gone straight through his chest. He was still gasping for breath because, dammit, he wasn’t going to go down without putting up one hell of a fight.

Everything hurt. It was like someone was screaming in his ear, making all the other sounds seem like the background track to a movie rather than the sounds of events that were happening around him in that moment. Gabe was gasping, and every breath he took sent another signal of searing pain into his brain like it was a dagger, and hot tears ran down his face without him even realizing it. He felt Ward’s arms hold his head in Ward’s lap, and he tried to take a deep breath, but it didn’t work. He reached up and grabbed the other’s arm with surprising strength. “I don’t…Don’t. Leave.” He was struggling to speak as the building burned around them, the embers of a life Gabe had only half-lived sprinkling down around him in the form of burning bits of paper and dust from the bricks that were falling apart.

He had always thought this place was indestructible. Gabe had been saved by this agency, and somewhere, in the back of his mind, they were angels and this place was a safe haven. Now, everything was falling apart. Now, the illusion was shattered—Gabe didn’t have much of a chance to really gather his thoughts and consider them, however, as he touched the metal that protruded from his chest and fear coursed through his body. This agency was supposed to protect him—what had happened? Where had things gone so horribly wrong that they couldn’t be fixed? Where did everything turn to shit? What did he do to deserve this? No understanding came to him.

What Gabe did realize was that he was dying. This was it. This was the end.

Somewhere, he heard Ward’s voice, and Gabe wanted to say something to him, but for the 21 languages rattling around in his head, he couldn’t find the words to tell Ward how sorry he was. He couldn’t find the words to tell Ward that it wasn’t his fault. That he shouldn’t, that he couldn’t blame himself for what had happened. That he wasn’t at fault when Gabe finally did die. That he had to move on, that he had to find a new best friend, fall in love, have kids…live a life worth living. Not like the life Gabe had lived, cut short before he could make a difference in anyone’s life. A shimmering glow seemed to frame Ward, and he heard a voice from somewhere else, a voice he couldn’t quite understand.

“Please don’t make me leave,” he whispered.

There was so much left to do. So many fights left to fight. He had only partially lived, having ruined his brain with drugs and alcohol, but things had changed. He had only just changed, only just gotten better, and now, life had decided to pull him away. He couldn’t help but feel like this was all some sick joke. It wasn’t a joke, however, and he knew that it wasn’t. As he felt his breaths get shorter and shorter, sounding more like chuffs rather than normal, even breathing, he let out a small noise to register how much pain he was in. And that was it. That was the end. There were no fireworks, there was no big show. His life had been snuffed out as easily as a candle, and those who had blown it out had been too cowardly to even do it while looking him in the eye. Brilliant blue eyes stared, unblinking, at the starry sky.

Gabe always did have stars in his eyes.

[mcltimuse]

Following orders, the sole purpose of him being there; the reason why he was at Olympus to begin with. Moving quickly down the halls, the agent ducked down at the sound of voices. He couldn’t trust anyone, he knew that - and no one could trust him, that was even more certain. Once the voices had passed, he let out a sigh of relief upon realising that he wouldn’t have to retort to the kind of ‘defense’ he was inclined to (let’s be honest, the only defense he knew was slightly less offensive offense). As he began his travel down the stairs, reaching the underground bunker without any hiccups, Deimos easily got in through the highly secured walls, facing absolute mahem within them.  Something caught his attention in the corner of his eye, making him lose track of the mission at hand for just a second. With the bag dropping to the ground with a soft thump, he wore a worried expression at the sight of the person. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

[gabexspencer-blog]

A deep breath passed through Gabe’s lips as he realized what the hell was happening, and his mistrust of everyone in the organization quadrupled. He was going to get the fuck out of dodge if he could swing it, and he no longer had any faith that anyone around him was still in the initiative, not with ICHOR. Trained—somewhat—in weapons and hand-to-hand combat, he was fumbling slightly with the weight of the gun in his hand, though he didn’t show it. At the sound of Deimos’ voice, he raised the gun, cocking it, lowering his arms only a little when he saw who it was. “Why?”

[gabexspencer-blog]

leohephaestus:

“Dude I don’t know. I guess at least it’s better than the ‘hey, you’re sister’s fucking hot. Hook me up so I can tap that shit’ that I usually get,” He shrugged. He listened quietly nodding as Gabe talked. He knew all too well what it was like to be in something too deep. But he also knew there was nothing comforting he could say that the boy hadn’t heard before, so instead he asked a question. “So is that what your existential crisis is about? And what made you want to get out?” He asked.

“That’s just a little bit fucked up, I’ll admit,” he replied, taking another swig from the orange juice then wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “I’m not one of those people. Though, I can’t speak for myself later, you know, sometimes when I’m drinking orange juice I get a little bit loose.” He laughed. “Nah, I think this one is about impending death and things like that. Well, I was homeless, had no family who cared. The agency said I could sober up and join them or remain a hopeless addict.”

[luke-mirage-deactivated20180618]

“Oh please. Cups are for boring civilized adults and I am none of those things,” She said, her smile growing slightly bigger as she took a sip from the carton. She raised an eyebrow at his question. “Trying to get rid of me that quickly?”

[gabexspencer-blog]

“You and I are very similar, then,” he replied, a grin growing across his features. He looked up at the clock. “It’s just that...” he paused, reading the time. “It’s 5 minutes to midnight, and...well, I don’t know. I guess I’d like to have you around.”

[agentgalateia-archive]

❝ Hey, there is nothing wrong with sipping on some orange juice. At least it shows you’ve got a sense of self control, ❞ she pointed out with a shrug before taking a small bite of her cheese and cracker combination.  ❝ I don’t think you’d need the liquor to pull some anti-hero shit. What are we? Jessica Jones? ❞

[gabexspencer-blog]

“This is very true.” He nodded, taking another swig from the carton. “You’re on that train too, huh?”

[gabexspencer-blog]

leohephaestus:

“Then what would you call it?” He chuckled. Leo looked at the chip and nodded slightly. “So if not alcohol, what type of addict are you? Drugs, Sex, Gambling, Shopaholic?” He asked curiously.

“I admire her. More classy, right?” Gabe looked down at the chip. “Drugs.” He tilted his head. He wasn’t sure why he had admitted any of it—usually he made the excuse of disliking alcohol and left the conversation. Perhaps he just needed to talk about it, for once. “Cocaine, mostly. Heroin, if I could get my hands on it.”

[gabexspencer-blog]

esmeandromeda:

“Yes please,” She said, giving him a small smile.

“I’m afraid there aren’t any cups. They’re all out there or broken. I think I picked up all the glass, but be careful.” He handed over the carton. “Are you planning on going back out there?”

[gabexspencer-blog]

esmeandromeda:

“Okay, but if you push me off, the strawberries and I are going to be on our merry way,” She said giving him a small smile before hoisting herself up onto the table and siting beside him.

He laughed. “I won’t push you off. Orange juice?”

[gabexspencer-blog]

leohephaestus:

“Yeah. We’ve only ever had each other. Perks of being dumped by your folks when you’re four. It can be. Other times we want to kill each other and other times, I accidentally become friends with a guy who has a crush on her,” He shrugged. “Shit. That’s rough. So why are you hiding away from the drunks anyways other then the fact that they’re annoying as fuck?”

Gabe nodded. “Yeah, I remember I time when things used to be that way.” He took another sip of the orange juice in his carton. “God, a crush? Makes me sound like I’m 5.” He held up his poker chip sized token. “3 years sober,” Gabe replied, letting the coin dance across his knuckles. “Though, the token is sort of arbitrary since I’m not actually in A.A.—no matter how much this place pretends I am.”

[gabexspencer-blog]

esmeandromeda:

She stopped and turned around and looked up at him. “Sorry too. I just, sometimes I don’t like thinking, you know? Sometimes it’s all just too much.”

“Come here.” He put his arm out, an invitation. “Come on. Pop a squat next to me.”

[gabexspencer-blog]

leohephaestus:

“Of course it is,” He groaned at hearing Andromeda’s name. “Yeah. Well Andi does that. New Years is always the worst for her. She just wants to forget,” He shrugged, climbing onto the table next to him.  “Yeah. Well Aphrodite is more than just hot to me. She’s- she’s just something else. And Andromeda… well… Andromeda’s kinda my sister so she’s basically the most unattractive person on the planet to me. No offense, mate.”

“Yeah, well,” he replied. Gabe paused when he said that Andi was his sister, taking another sip from the carton in his hand. “Must be nice to see her,” he replied. “I have a younger brother—well, half-brother. I think he thinks I’m dead, though.”

[gabexspencer-blog]

esmeandromeda:

She said. “Fine. I’m leaving,” She said, grabbing a strawberry and turning to go. 

He paused. “Wait.” Gabe sat up, taking a sip from the orange juice carton in his hand. “I’m just sick of everyone getting drunk at the drop of a hat.”

[josieadler-blog]

“I’ll be honest with you, I don’t think anyone does. But you’ll be dead before it happens, don’t stress.”

[gabexspencer-blog]

“Probably sooner rather than later, considering my line of work.”

[agentgalateia-archive]

❝ Well the whole ‘new year, new me’ thing is kind of overrated if you think about it. People say they change, when they’re obviously not. Old habits die hard. New year, same me. Sucks to suck, but that’s who I am. ❞ Galateia walked over to the fridge, pulling out a block of cheese before heading to one of the cabinets to pull out a packet of crackers. ❝ If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think you’d need liquor for the joyous occasion that is New Year’s. ❞

[gabexspencer-blog]

“I suppose so, but I guess I was hoping something would feel different now,” he replied, shrugging before taking another swig of the orange juice. Gabe chuckled. “Yeah, I just think scotch would make me seem more moody and like an anti-hero, rather than a petulant child with my orange juice.”

[josieadler-blog]

“Nice. Nothing says “new year spirit” like worrying about death. If it makes you feel better, at least this means you probably won’t be around for the sun exploding.”

[gabexspencer-blog]

“I don’t like the thought of the sun exploding.”