MAGICAL FRIENDSHIP KINGDOM

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS, and you were a GOD once. Post-sgrub Karkat living on a planet called Prospero. For more info, click timeline. Info page under construction.

[galvanizediron]

STILL NOT DEAD YET.

BEGINNING TO WANT MY MONEY BACK.

[galvanizediron]

VOCAL GRUNTING.

[galvanizediron]

riddlesinpaint reblogged your post:

do they still move

APPARENTLY ONLY ONCE EVERY FOUR WEEKS. TUNE IN NEXT MONTH FOR ANOTHER TITILLATING INSTALLMENT. 

[galvanizediron]

YEP.

YYYEP.

I DEFINITELY STILL HAVE FINGERS.

[apocryphalprestige]

[galvanizediron]

[apocryphalprestige]

gosh well i can see nothing’s changed much. 

[galvanizediron]

[apocryphalprestige]

oh, oops.

[galvanizediron]

NINE MONTHS.

THAT'S HOW LONG AGO YOUR LAST POST WAS MADE.

YOU COULD HAVE CONCEIVED OF, DEVELOPED, AND HIDEOUSLY BORE A SQUISHY HUMAN PUP IN YOUR ABSENCE.

YOU COULD HAVE BROUGHT A NEW LIFE, SCREAMING, CRYING AND SHITTING ITSELF, INTO THE WORLD.

NINE MONTHS.

[galvanizediron]

HGGH.

[galvanizediron]

SOMETIMES I WORRY THAT I HAVEN'T IMPROVED AT ALL AS A PERSON IN THE LAST FEW SWEEPS, BUT THEN I REMEMBER THAT I DON'T FIND DANE COOK FUNNY ANYMORE.

[rulebooks]

what is dane even cooking

[riddlesinpaint]

oh oh my god oh my fucking god

i really think ive finally found someone whos skull i want to crush and splinter between my hands if you want to die so badly wow. youre disgusting and the fact that youre spitting on the faith is making that so much worse. but im a good guy and im gonna chalk it up to “you’re pan damaged” and move on, you piece of shit.

Yeah. Let’s talk like Real People. You know, the one’s who actually exist. Here, I’ll even use my nice clean set of sentences and grammar for you. Does that make you more comfortable? I would hope so.

I bet your own clown knows you better than I, so I will not argue with him over the status of your existence.

Hey Ugly, tell me something, how do you stop people from eating glass? Get this, there are people on this site so stupid, literally so stupid, that they saw a picture of me eating my bong once and now everyone wants to eat glass. I’ve already got one girl bleeding all over my fucking living room and I’m trying to stop the other. What do I do?

[galvanizediron]

OH GOOD. HERE WE GO.

TALLY THAT ONE RIGHT ON THE "PEOPLE TAKING MY OBVIOUSLY OVERBLOWN CRITICISMS SERIOUSLY" LIST.

RELAX. MY CLOSEST LOVED ONE IS OF THE FAITH. I DON'T HAVE A GODDAMN THING AGAINST YOU GUYS. I'VE JUST HEARD IT PLENTY OF TIMES AND WANTED TO SKIP THE INTRODUCTORY PARTS.

I SAY ANYTHING WITHOUT THE MOST DIAPER-WIPING LEVEL OF GENTLENESS AND PEOPLE ON THIS WEBSITE INSTANTLY THINK I'M TRASHING THEM. DAMN.

GLASS? WELL, MAN, DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'D GO ABOUT STOPPING THEM. THEY SURE AS SHIT WON'T DO IT TWICE.

[riddlesinpaint]

karkats a fuckin terrible name. i like it. riddles is the full title. riddlesinpaint is just the url. riddz is the short hand. you seem like an ugly mother fucker. im callin u ugly.

fear is a funny thing little man, and those who are truly free of it, no longer live. and you seem to be very alive, if i may say so. believe me when i say i can find your fear.

the more complex and nuanced it is the more it belong to yaown damn self until you reach level four relationship status with me, where we will walk to the pier and watch the moon set on alternias final hour of wake and tell our deepest past shadows cross.

maybe get a hotdog and a soda. i like those.

[galvanizediron]

I AM AT LEAST 900% CERTAIN YOU KNOW AT LEAST ONE OTHER PERSON ON THIS WEBSITE NAMED KARKAT, AND AM ALMOST EQUALLY CERTAIN YOU ARE AWARE OF OR ACQUAINTED WITH WAY MORE THAN ONE.

GOTTA LOVE INDIGOBLOODS. YOU GUYS CAN NEVER TURN OFF THAT PIOUS TERROR-SPEAK. 

MAN, I WASN'T PUFFING MY SCRAWNY LITTLE CHEST OUT AND BEING SOME SELF-INFLATING DICKHEAD BY SAYING THAT I HAD NOTHING TO FEAR FROM ANYBODY ANYMORE. I MEAN, I'M PROBABLY GONNA DIE, LIKE, TOMORROW. I LITERALLY HAVEN'T GOT ANYTHING TO FE-- UGHGHGGH. YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M GONNA CUT THIS SHORT BEFORE YOU GET ON SOME STUPID FEARCLOWN RANT ABOUT HOW ~~~OOOHHH THERE'S SO MUCH ELSE TO FEAR THAN DEATH AND *I* AM THE MASTER OF IT AND BLAH BLAH BLAH SOME OVERBLOWN CARNIVAL METAPHOR~~~ LIKE CAN WE JUST. SKIP ALL THAT BULLSHIT, STRAIGHT UP. CAN YOU LEVEL DOWN AND TALK TO ME LIKE A REAL PERSON.

BASICALLY IF YOU THOUGHT THAT I WAS "VERY ALIVE" YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO GET YOUR MIRTH CLOWN SPIDEY SENSES CHECKED. EVEN MY OWN CLOWN ISN'T TRYING TO TELL ME THAT LIE.

BUT YEAH, I'M UGLY AND I LIKE HOTDOGS.

[riddlesinpaint]

whoa buddy that shit was some vague ass mother fuckin vague bloggin 

unless you were talkin about the literal post about vague bloggin because that shit was hilarious and relatable.

now usually i would apologize and delete the post from my blog but you know what? im in no fuckin mood tonight.

watch who youre talkin to :o)

names riddz. yourself?

[galvanizediron]

LOOK, I'VE GOT THIS REALLY COMPLEX AND NUANCED THING GOING ON, I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND.

AND HAHA. OH, PLEASE. COOL IT ON THE IMPLICIT THREATS. I'VE GOT NOTHING TO FEAR FROM ANYBODY ANYMORE. SORRY TO DISAPPOINT.

RIDDZ. THAT'S A NEW ONE. I'M KARKAT VANTAS, ONE OF MANY.

[galvanizediron]

THAT, TOO, WAS INTENDED FOR A SPECIFIC AUDIENCE, BUT HEY. I GUESS EVERYBODY HAS THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE.

[riddlesinpaint]

man oh man oh man

#how the fuck did you get on my dash

[galvanizediron]

NOW, THE REAL QUESTION IS WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT GALL DO YOU HAVE TO BLATANTLY REBLOG MY MOST PASSIVE OF AGGRESSIONS TOWARDS A TUMBLR USER UNRELATED TO YOURSELF.

[lameborghini]

my throne

[galvanizediron]

OH BABY, WE CAN VAGUEBLOG BACK AND FORTH ALL NIGHT. GIVE ME THAT SWEET, SWEET, PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE SASS REACHAROUND. I LOVE YOUR INDIRECT SCORN. SCORCH ME WITH THE DRY ICE OF YOUR COLD SHOULDER. MMMMMM. OH YES. IT HURTS SO GOOD.