Several books fell to the floor. When he grabbed her, instinctively her body sparked with electrical current ready to defend. If he had been any other, the Cajun would have been sent convulsing on the floor. Yet he wasn’t any other, he was someone she held dear, someone she had hurt. Ororo wasn’t blind to his emotions, it wasn’t that she didn’t care. The problem was she did. Everyone. Everyone who she even let a inch in either got hurt or died.
Couldn’t he see how difficult all this was for her? There was only so much pain a person could handle before it started to take it’s toll. She tried. Everyday she opened her eyes, got out of bed, and put on a air of complete calm. She smiled through the hardship, through the tears, through the sorrow. Just so the ones she loved could smile back. Was it so selfish that for once she’d be allowed to look after herself?!
“I would have called you eventually…” Ororo whispered softly through his rant. Stumbling a little backwards when he finally released her. The look in his eyes causing her heart to clench. Instead of shooting off a emotional fueled reply, the windrider slowly knelt to recollect the literature. Neatly setting them aside.
“Remy…” She began but stopped herself. Unsure as to what to say, not wanting to upset him even farther. The sound of gentle rain danced against the window filling the silence. Ni sawa kulia wakati mwingine upendo wangu. She wrapped her arms around herself. Remembering the words her mother had spoken so long ago. Softly repeating them back.
Standing she stared at him for a minute. “What do you want from me?” There was the briefest cracking in her voice. And she felt something snap. “What the fuck do you want! Huh? An apology?” Her breathing came out in short spurts. It was extremely rare for her to curse, almost nonexistent. Being an educator didn’t exactly call for such language. “Fine! I’m sorry! I’m sorry I left!” Angrily she shoved him hard. “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings” She shoved him again, “I’m sorry for not living up to everyone’s standards! For acting on impulse, cause goddess knows no one as ever done that before! For once considering myself first! For not trying to push my issues on you or anyone else! I’m sorry for being human! Not fucking superwoman all the time! Cause I’m on the same shit roller coaster of life that everyone is on! I’m hurt! I haven’t grieved! I keep everything, EVERYTHING bottled in! Because I fucking have to! So I’m sorry if that is such a problem!” As she spoke, she continued to push at him, stopping upon feeling hot tears striking her face. “Dammit!” Ororo wiped at them, refusing to let them fall. Yet the sky above did so for her.
Her hair had become a mess and she pushed it back from her face. Teeth clenched as to not let out a scream that so desperately wanted to escape. She had never yelled at him or anyone for that matter. Thunder could now be heard as to the wind picked up speed. Her whole body was shaking and she had to take a moment to soothe herself and the weather. Closing her eyes, it was still far too hard to concentrate. “I’m…I’m sorry Remy.”
She had started out soft and become rigid. Remy didn’t fight her or try to slap her hands away as she raged, as she pushed at him. Instead of trying to become an impenetrable wall to needle her further, he let himself step back with every shove until there was nowhere else for him to go. He felt his back hit the wall and still, she shoved at his chest. He grunted under his breath, just watching her. His jaw was aching from the way he was clenching it and it wasn’t until she’d stopped that he forced himself to let out a breath.
Remy dropped his head back to look at the ceiling for a moment. While Storm was a whirlwind of emotions, he was calm with his anger buzzing under the surface. He felt it smoldering in his chest, but he didn’t stoke the small flame. He didn’t put it out, either. “Remy ain’t takin’ your apology.” He said finally. He could be the comforter, he could gather her into his arms and coo and coddle her. He wouldn’t, though.
He lifted a foot and placed it back against the wall so he could lean back against it, arms crossing over his chest and he focused a level gaze on Storm. He owned the way he had been crowded and shoved, looking like he had always intended to be there and look comfortable to boot. Still, there was a hardness to the set of his shoulders and a coldness where he usually resonated warmth. He was so upset.
“Dis ain’t how y’handle anything. Sometimes, yes, it is better t’grieve by y’self, but not like this. This is cuttin’ off everyone who loves you. This is running away and as a person who used t’do it a lot, I would know.” Despite his sharp words, his voice remained placid, as if they were discussing the weather. Detached. “I ain’t gonna hug you, ‘Ro, and let you think that dis okay. It ain’t. M’not gonna f’give you until you f’get dis nonsense about staying away and come back home, where t’ings can actually get better.” He pushed off of the wall and brushed past her to get to the door.
“When you come home, we’ll talk. Until then, I s’pose dis good-bye.” He opened the door and let himself out, snapping the door shut curtly behind him.