Soldier Boy IRL

𝐹𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑒𝑟 𝑔𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑏𝑜𝑦💛 𝘐’𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘈𝘴𝘬 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“Jesus Christ….just ask the fucking questions already”

Assistant: @voughthellhole

Roomate contact: @thedeepofficial

𝐴𝑠𝑘 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑔

[thedeepofficial]

My dad left me lowkey

That sucks. So why are you doing the same to homelander dude?

@gargle-my-ballsack

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“I didn’t leave him. He’s here, he’s moping around the tower somewhere.”

[thedeepofficial]

So you admit he's your son!

@gargle-my-ballsack

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“I never said that. You asked if I’m leaving Homelander which I disagreed with. We’re in the same fuckin’ team. None of us are leaving each other except for Noir, that one has to go.”

[thedeepofficial]

My dad left me lowkey

That sucks. So why are you doing the same to homelander dude?

@gargle-my-ballsack

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“I didn’t leave him. He’s here, he’s moping around the tower somewhere.”

[gargle-my-ballsack]

I want uppies. Pick me up. -🦮

“That reminds me of something my dad didn’t do. Pick me up from school. Never did.”

[gargle-my-ballsack]

//My telegram is Soldier Boi if you want to pay me to do your homework for you. You can give me 20 dollars or more depending on the vigor of work. I’ll make a carrd later.

[gargle-my-ballsack]

*Alex sets down a bowl for Coral, it contains scrambled eggs, pumpkin, and some mixed white meat (fish and chicken). She then sets out a plate with a T-bone stake, ribs, baked potato, and some green beans.* I hope the both of you enjoy your dinner. *Her voice sounding chipper than normal.*

-🐦‍⬛

@blackfantail-lover

“Thanks doll.”

Coral squeaks trying to communicate.

[blackfantail-lover]

*Alex chuckles before awing.* I wish I could understand you Coral. Sadly my powers don't do that for me. *She pets her head.* How has your day been Ben?

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“This possessed talking dog keeps freeloading in my home and bothering Coral.”

[blackfantail-lover]

Have you tried calling animal control or taking the dog to a humane society? *Alex raises an eyebrow looking at Ben.*

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“Oh yeah, you’re right. I can just kill him. I forgot about that.”

[blackfantail-lover]

Ben, you can't kill the poor thing. It is better to just take it somewhere. You don't have to kill everything that annoys you. Cause then you won't have anyone or anything around you.

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“Well then the animal control folks would kill it anyway so isn’t it best to just- he’s putting Coral in a lot of danger!”

[blackfantail-lover]

They won't, they try to find a home until they can't. So they will have a chance. But for now kick them out. They'll wonder the tower so at least they won't hurt Coral.

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“Alright, maybe it can harass Homelander.”

[gargle-my-ballsack]

does SB mod wanna know who youramericanhero’s mod is 🤔

//Whaaaat? Who are you?

[gargle-my-ballsack]

*Alex sets down a bowl for Coral, it contains scrambled eggs, pumpkin, and some mixed white meat (fish and chicken). She then sets out a plate with a T-bone stake, ribs, baked potato, and some green beans.* I hope the both of you enjoy your dinner. *Her voice sounding chipper than normal.*

-🐦‍⬛

@blackfantail-lover

“Thanks doll.”

Coral squeaks trying to communicate.

[blackfantail-lover]

*Alex chuckles before awing.* I wish I could understand you Coral. Sadly my powers don't do that for me. *She pets her head.* How has your day been Ben?

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“This possessed talking dog keeps freeloading in my home and bothering Coral.”

[blackfantail-lover]

Have you tried calling animal control or taking the dog to a humane society? *Alex raises an eyebrow looking at Ben.*

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“Oh yeah, you’re right. I can just kill him. I forgot about that.”

[blackfantail-lover]

Ben, you can't kill the poor thing. It is better to just take it somewhere. You don't have to kill everything that annoys you. Cause then you won't have anyone or anything around you.

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“Well then the animal control folks would kill it anyway so isn’t it best to just- he’s putting Coral in a lot of danger!”

[gargle-my-ballsack]

*Alex sets down a bowl for Coral, it contains scrambled eggs, pumpkin, and some mixed white meat (fish and chicken). She then sets out a plate with a T-bone stake, ribs, baked potato, and some green beans.* I hope the both of you enjoy your dinner. *Her voice sounding chipper than normal.*

-🐦‍⬛

@blackfantail-lover

“Thanks doll.”

Coral squeaks trying to communicate.

[blackfantail-lover]

*Alex chuckles before awing.* I wish I could understand you Coral. Sadly my powers don't do that for me. *She pets her head.* How has your day been Ben?

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“This possessed talking dog keeps freeloading in my home and bothering Coral.”

[blackfantail-lover]

Have you tried calling animal control or taking the dog to a humane society? *Alex raises an eyebrow looking at Ben.*

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“Oh yeah, you’re right. I can just kill him. I forgot about that.”

[gargle-my-ballsack]

*Alex sets down a bowl for Coral, it contains scrambled eggs, pumpkin, and some mixed white meat (fish and chicken). She then sets out a plate with a T-bone stake, ribs, baked potato, and some green beans.* I hope the both of you enjoy your dinner. *Her voice sounding chipper than normal.*

-🐦‍⬛

@blackfantail-lover

“Thanks doll.”

Coral squeaks trying to communicate.

[blackfantail-lover]

*Alex chuckles before awing.* I wish I could understand you Coral. Sadly my powers don't do that for me. *She pets her head.* How has your day been Ben?

[gargle-my-ballsack]

“This possessed talking dog keeps freeloading in my home and bothering Coral.”

[gargle-my-ballsack]

//My telegram is Soldier Boi if you want to pay me to do your homework for you. You can give me 20 dollars or more depending on the vigor of work. I’ll make a carrd later.

[gargle-my-ballsack]

Soldier boy are you good at brat taming

if so can you give me some tips my boy toy has been acting up

“Choke him.”

[gargle-my-ballsack]

(Bends over, revealing butt) spank meh daddy

“No.”

[gargle-my-ballsack]

Opinion on straight-haired bush🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤 (some of us don’t have it bushy and curly down there🫩🥲)

“It’s fine….”

[gargle-my-ballsack]

*approaches balancing coral proudly standing on my head* look! We learned a trick! -🦮

“Put her down!”

[gargle-my-ballsack]

Hi soldier boy ......ive come back to haunt u -sincerly ur favorite pretty witch ;)

“W-wait. You’re a witch. Are you the reason for all these talking animals invading my privacy.

[gargle-my-ballsack]

If you sat on my face, would that make it a national treasure, Ben?

“I’d shit on your face.”