Chocolates & Money

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I’ve gotten to step 4

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[fiddlesolo]

vampires really should be able to get drunk they literally have to be alive forever let them have this

[1953swan]

hc: vampires have no blood so they get drunk faster than people

[bellas-orange-jansport-deactiva]

charlie pulling over a shirtless carlisle at 4 am: dr cullen your blood alcohol content is literally 100% how are you not dead carlisle: au contraire im absolutely dead

[maximumsunshine]

I did not expect a decent twilight joke on my dash in 2019, but nevertheless there it is and it’s hilarious.

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Naruto Running is a deadly skill

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How Lucky I am

Most mornings my mind wanders as I let the news and stories on NPR take my stream of consciousness everywhere.  But today was different.  Today right as I parked the car in the office lot and turned the engine off, I just wanted to turn it back on and drive back home.

I was thinking about my wife a 1000 miles away, also alone, also struggling.  If this was my last day on earth, would I be starting it by driving in the dark in the early morning to this place....I don’t know if this is my last day though I know if it was, then the obvious answer is “fuck no.”  I would spend my last waking hours just engrossed in her,  me doing whatever it was I could do to try to make up for each time I didn’t give her my full attention, or I dismissed her, or was careless around her.     

I thought of my two daughters.  How lucky I am to be around such wonderful strong willed kids.  Kids with personalities and emotions, and opinions, and the endless energy and confidence to question me, and their mom, and the stupid world for all of the stupid things it does.  Since they were born, I’ve grown up more than they have.  I’d like to think that I’ve changed for the better because of them, and that they’ve helped to keep that child part of me alive, at least some of it.  That energy to question and to challenge and to see things as new.

Then I thought, I don’t know if this is my last day on earth.  And I can’t live each day like it was.  But maybe I can kind of live like it was my last day.  Decide.  Lead.  Push.  Support those that are leading and pushing.  Be authentic.  Be tactful.  Plan.  Believe.   Know that it's right.  Communicate it.  Act on it.  Take risks.  Make the most of it.

If that leads me to failure, that may be ok.   And I Just end up in her arms for a little while, before I try again.   

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From Elaine Welteroth

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Snot

Jimmy Jones Ferdinand Schmidt told his best friend Bobby Dewitt,

that one day Bobby would completely run out of spit,

And all the things that you could do with it,

Like hocking loogies, and blowing spit bubbles, and other things that would befit,

A crude young boy like Bobby Dewitt...he would simply have to quit.

And Bobby got quiet, looked down, and cried for a bit,

But then his face went red and he exclaimed “Bullshit!”

 “Loogies and bubbles are made of snot!

I can live without spit, but boogers I cannot!”

And with that revelation, he exhaled a whole lot,

Then sucked through his nose all the phlegm that he got,

And with all that mucus amassed in a spot,

At the back of his throat ready to be shot,

He expectorated something big and moist and moderately hot,

And turned Jimmy’s face into a slimy green blot.

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