I am bisexual. i am a christian and i feel awful about it. i just find girls so attractive and i cant help it. i feel like the lord would not like me to feel this way because in the bible it says man shall not lie with man as he does with woman....... i just know this is who i am though i dont know what to do/ how to feel.....
It sounds like you have come to terms with your bisexuality (congratulations!), and are having difficulty deciding whether or not God will bless your non-heterosexual attractions or condemn you for this desire. This topic is constantly debated among MOGAI (marginalized orientations, gender alignments, and intersex) Christians, and I implore you to read up on this debate on the Gay Christian Network (GCN) website here. On “Side A,” Justin Lee does a phenomenal job describing why he believes God blesses same-sex marriages and partnerships. Personally, I agree with Justin’s perspective and will attempt to give a brief outline of what he says in this response (yet his full response is much better and I highly recommend you read his essay!).
I am going to start by picking apart what you say here - You believe the Lord would not like you to find women attractive, because in the Bible it says “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable” (Leviticus 22).
We will start by looking at Justin’s Essay, Argument #4 - our homosexual desires are wrong “Because God Says So” or there’s a supposed ‘rule’ against it. But is there evidence for this in the Bible?Basically, Justin says: “the evidence for a rule against same-sex relationships consists of a few Bible passages where homosexual behaviors are condemned. They are used as “prooftexts” for the Traditional View. (A prooftext is a passage that is frequently quoted or referred to as a direct reference to a particular issue or theological question. Prooftexts can be useful at times, but we must be careful to read them in their proper context, or they can lead us astray.)”In your message, you cited one prooftext (Leviticus 22). Here is what Justin says about this specific prooftext; I bold and italicize for emphasis:
“In the Old Testament book of Leviticus, God gives Moses a long list of rules for the Israelites. Some of these are rules we still follow today; others we don’t. The most famous of all is in 18:22, which says, “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman” (NIV). The NIV translation follows this with, “that is detestable,” but the more famous version is the King James Version, which reads, “It is abomination.”Now before you start freaking out or thinking God hates you, please understand that “abomination” in Hebrew refers to anything forbidden for the Israelites. For instance, Leviticus 11 says that eagles are an abomination, and so are owls, storks, various types of water creatures, “and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth,” just to name a few. Locusts, by the way, aren’t abominations. Still, abomination or not, the prohibition of male-male sex is pretty straightforward. And at the beginning of the passage, God tells us why He’s giving these rules — because He wants to keep the Israelites pure and separate from the polytheistic cultures surrounding them (Lev. 18:1-4). This helps explain why the Israelites are forbidden to shave (Lev. 19:27), get tattoos (Lev. 19:28), wear clothing made of mixed fabrics (Lev. 19:19), or have sex during a woman’s period (Lev. 18:19). It also helps explain the rather strange comments about things like sacrificing children to Molech (Lev. 18:21) and eating fruit too quickly from a tree (Lev. 19:23); and why the Israelites are forbidden to have sex with a woman and her daughter (Lev. 18:17) but nothing at all is said about sex outside of marriage or having multiple sexual partners. Outside of the context of keeping the Israelites separate, it would be a very odd collection of rules.I’ve heard people quote Leviticus to forbid homosexuality and tattoos, but other than that, people generally don’t turn to Leviticus for moral guidance. There’s something very haphazard about that approach to the Bible, picking and choosing passages like side dishes at a buffet.”
Later on, Justin comments that the only reason why we are having this debate now (about same-sex relationships instead of, say, women speaking in the church), is that our culture’s standards have changed. He says: “But let’s be honest with ourselves. If we’re going to seriously be “not of this world” and follow Christ at all costs, how can we approach the Bible with a constantly changing standard, always trying to adapt it to fit our preconceived ideas? That’s exactly what the church has done for many, many years. Unless we’re going to start requiring women to wear head coverings (1 Cor. 11:3-13), we’re going to have to find a clear, consistent way of determining which passages in Scripture we’re still obligated to follow, and which ones we’re not. And it has to be a standard that we can apply in every culture and in every context, not something that lets us reinterpret things every few years to suit our desires.” Later, he continues on this subject: “When it comes right down to it, no one consistently applies Scripture passages in a literal, word-for-word, direct application to today’s problems in every case. Any honest Christian has to admit that there are at least some passages that either a) don’t apply today; b) still apply but don’t mean what they seem to mean on the surface; or c) are overruled by other passages or biblical themes.”
What it all comes down to, Justin argues, is Romans 13:8-10:“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ 'Do not steal,’ 'Do not covet,’ and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”
Please, read this passage a few times. What Paul is saying here, according to Justin, is: “whatever commandment there may be can be summed up in the rule to love your neighbor. What a concept! To put it another way, Paul is saying that if we lived our lives with a truly loving spirit, acting in truly loving ways, we would automatically fulfill every one of God’s laws. We wouldn’t have any need for specific rules.” In Galatians 3:23-25, Paul says: “Before this faith [in Jesus] came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.”
So, we are free from the law, but we still must not sin. In Galatians 5:13-14, Paul says: “You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
What Justin is arguing here is “God detests sin and cannot have anything to do with it. But God also knows, in His infinite wisdom, that mere rules and regulations are not always sufficient to define what is sinful. The specifics of the situation make a huge difference… .God judges our actions on a case-by-case basis, taking into account our heart, our motives, and the specifics of the situation, not just mindlessly applying a set of rigid rules.”
So, do all things in love, because at the end of the day that is what matters.
Overall, I ask that you explore this topic on your own - through Bible readings, conversations with other MOGAI Christians, and prayer. Once you feel a strong sense of self (which it seems you’ve got!), and develop a mature reading of the Bible and relationship with your God, you will be better equipped to answer this question for yourself and pick a side on the Great Debate. Continue to ask these difficult questions, and do not hesitate to change your mind if need be!When reading the Bible and picking out certain passages to focus on, do not forget to consider the literary context, historical context, and cultural context. This will allow for a more accurate interpretation of any biblical passage. Also, always seek out multiple sources and opinions before forming your own. It took me ten years to fully accept, understand and appreciate my gray-bisexuality. I was only able to recently return to a church and develop a healthy relationship with God once I began to truly love and accept who I am and after I began to interpret the Bible and God’s word for myself (with research, many readings, and a positive outlook). My work will never be over, and I expect to be on a spiritual journey for many years to come. Although this struggle with our sexuality and our relationship with God is rather personal, private and individualized [and can feel lonely], know you are not alone in this. You do not have to grapple with this by yourself, for there are hundreds of others who can and want to be a support system for you. I hope this response has helped you out a bit. Peace & love.
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