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look at the nerve on this guy, over here tryna seal the deal with @pipsqueakthomas! #badumtssss #imhereallweek

gdipiper-blog

@pipsqueakthomas that's a dolphin, davey boy.

#insta: david #david

TEXT: RONNIE

Piper: happy birthday ronmeister! i hope it's either a) fabulous or b) super fabulous ;)

#text: ronnie #ronnie

.mackfts:

Why are you so perfect, Pipes? When’s that hot roomie of yours gonna snap you up? Or, no. Cancel that, all men are terrible. When is any gorgeous girl gonna prove to me that she’s worthy of you? Right, sorry, super hot ex-girlfriend. No more of that. I like the idea of you guys being arch enemies, fighting for my love, though. Is that bad? Does that make me a bad person? Oh, yeah. Sorry, ‘little’ is sort of my prefix for anyone that adorable, regardless of size. It’s not okay to be that precious. He makes me reevaluate my morals.

My handsome roomie? ...Harvey? As much as he has a fabulous backside, I don’t think I’m his type. I’d totally fight Roy for your love but I won’t, because I would win and I need to be respectful. I think we should have our own poker party with Adorable Felix.

#mack

.mackfts:

Oh, honey. I wish he’d give me the money. No such luck, though. I think you and I could totally kick it with cheap bear and pizza though, right? ‘Cause while I’d love my boyfriend to go all out on me for once, I actually sorta hate those snooty restaurants we always end up in. Oh, they do everything in suits, bub. If it weren’t for the fact that I knew otherwise, I’d assume he slept in the damn thing. Felix, is he the cutesy little one with the face of an angel? Has that smile that makes you wanna quit your job and dedicate your life to finding the cure for cancer or something? Suck it Roy, indeed.

We so can. Screw the snobs. I’d swap lobster for pizza anyday. Ew, your super hot ex-girlfriend doesn’t want to know about your current boyfriend’s sleeping situation. He’s supposed to be my arch enemy if I was ambitious enough for arch enemies. And Felix is alla that, except that he’s the cutesy big one. So tol.

#mack

.mackfts:

Roy makes big bucks. Obscene, actually. Gross figures that I do not even want to think about, boo. Hence the poker night out with his obnoxious, prada-suit-wearing ‘lads’, or whatever. Ugh, that’s it. Roy’s out the door, Nelson and Thomas are back in action.

Well, can you tell him to give me money so I won’t constantly remind him how much better I was at dating you than he is like, right now? I can’t believe they’re playing poker in suits. I thought everyone played poker with scarves but that’s because Felix is the only other person I know that plays poker. Ugh, suck it Roy, the girls are back.

#mack

.mackfts:

Ugh. Y’know, he’s not even good at poker. Last time he blew a thousand bucks, and he was only gone an hour. That’s good money that could be spent on me. Like, wining and dining me, and shit. You’d wine and dine me, wouldn’t ya bub?

Sorry, a thousand? How does he still have a home? You know I’d wine and dine you and treat you like the lady you are on my shitty income.

#mack #ooc: i want ten macks #one for adam one for piper and the rest for me #and none for roy

.mackfts:

They do a pretty bang up job of it, too. We’re looking kinda hot, huh?

I’ll say. Definitely hotter than the nacho dip Roy’s probably guzzling on at this stupid poker party.

#mack

.mackfts:

Considering it. Okay, no, kidding. But, ugh. Men. What’s the point of them, again?

They’re there to make us look superior.

#mack

.mackfts:

What’s a girl gotta do for a little love around here? Roy, I know you don’t read my blog, but on the off chance that you do, cancelling on a night in with your hot girlfriend for another poker night with your boys? Bad call, boo.