New chapter is here. Thank you for all the ideas and kind comments. I appreciate them so much!
Golden Bridges, Bold Beginnings
The alarm cut through the tranquility of Veronica’s dream. She was back playing on the court, shooting. Every shot was going in seamlessly. The shot clock was winding down, the game on the line. Kate was there, passing the ball out to her on the arc. But the arena was empty for some reason. It was just them. Just them and a nameless, faceless team. Veronica threw the ball up. The shot clock expired as it sailed up towards the rim.
And then the alarm ripped through. Loud, jarring, almost violent.
Veronica groaned and reached out towards the bedside table, hand fumbling for her phone. But there was nothing there. Confused, she opened one eye and sat up slightly. It was then that she realized that it wasn’t, in fact, her bedside table. She wasn’t in her own bed.
The alarm stopped and suddenly a pair of warm arms wrapped around her.
The night before came back to her and she smiled, laying back down and settling into Kate’s arms and against her chest.
‘Good morning.’ Kate’s voice was warm but rough from the early wake-up.
‘Hi.’ Veronica said, running her hands along Kate’s arms. ‘Are you really here?’
‘Yes. Last night was amazing.’ Kate responded, kissing Veronica’s shoulder.
‘I’m really happy this happened.’ Veronica added, lacing her fingers into Kate’s.
She wanted to stay like this forever, just the two of them. But, as heavenly as this was, at some point they would have to get up. They had practice later that day, which was no doubt why Kate had set an alarm. But neither of them was in a hurry to move. They just stayed there, Kate kissing and nuzzling Veronica’s neck and shoulder; Veronica running her fingers through Kate’s.
Eventually, a second alarm went off.
‘Really?’ Veronica asked, laughing.
‘Hey. I told you. I set like 4 alarms now. I’m not missing a flight ever again.’ Kate answered.
‘We don’t even have a flight!’ Veronica laughed.
‘Yeah, well. I’m not being late for practice either. Angry Nat? No thank you.’ Kate joked.
‘I suppose we do have to get up.’ Veronica huffed, rolling out of bed.
Kate watched her, her head resting on her hand, smiling.
Veronica noticed. ‘What?’ She asked, suddenly very self-conscious.
‘Just admiring the view.’ Kate replied, her face painted with the cheekiest smile.
Veronica rolled her eyes, gathering up her clothes from where they’d landed on the floor the night before. She liked knowing that Kate was watching her though and she made sure to walk slowly, teasing her and shooting a seductive look over her shoulder as she left the bedroom.
She wandered into the bathroom and smiled when Kate appeared behind her, locking her arms around her and laying her head on Veronica’s shoulder.
‘Want to shower with me?’ Kate asked, winking at her in the mirror.
It happened again in the shower. Their bodies moving in sync under the steam. Veronica’s back against the tile, her leg slung up over Kate’s hip, Kate’s fingers curling deep inside her, moving with purpose. Kate was pressed so close against her, Veronica’s arms wrapped around her shoulders, holding, clinging. As Veronica neared her peak, she suddenly became aware of how loud her moans were echoing off the shower walls and she buried her mouth into Kate’s shoulder, biting down just enough to leave a mark. Kate gasped and moaned against her, but her fingers didn’t cease their rhythm, continuing to move and drawing out every shudder and moan from Veronica.
Afterwards, Veronica kissed the bruise, whispering sorry.
‘It’s ok.’ Kate said, smiling. ‘I like being marked by you.’
Veronica felt her cheeks flame. Kate noticed and laughed.
‘I guess it’s a good thing I wear a compression shirt under my jersey.’
‘Noooo.’ Veronica said, embarrassed, shoving her and laughing.
She loved that Kate was always able to find a way to joke and make her laugh.
They dressed, still smiling, both silent. Veronica needed to go back to her own apartment and get ready for practice but didn’t want to break the magic of the morning. Right now, in Kate’s apartment, they were in their own little world, just the two of them. As soon as she left the apartment, they’d be more than that again: they’d be teammates again. Teammates practicing. Teammates trying to get their team through the rest of the season and into playoffs.
Kate seemed to read her mind.
‘Do you want to go get breakfast? Just us?’ She asked.
Veronica nodded, smiling.
They would have to be quick. They had practice soon and Veronica could not turn up in the same clothes as yesterday. But she was happy to let the morning last a little longer.
After breakfast, they headed to practice together. As they pulled up, Veronica looked at Kate, happily. She wished she knew what she wanted to say but the words refused to form. She was happier than she had been in a long time but also terrified that something was going to change and ruin it.
‘Ready?’ Kate asked before they exited the car.
‘Fuck yeah.’ Veronica answered, smiling.
That niggling worry would have to wait.
The good mood they were both in soon evaporated. Practice was tough. Coach Nakase ran them hard and the hours they’d spent not sleeping the night before, as well as the game the previous day, caught up with both of them. Veronica was missing shots badly, her legs felt like concrete. Everything hurt. Kate couldn’t get into a flow. She would make silly, careless mistakes that were unlike her. Coach Nakase, of course, didn’t miss a thing, barking at both of them to get their heads in the game. It was a long, tough, brutal practice.
At the end of the day, after training and recovery, everyone was wiped. Coach Nakase lit into the team, telling them all the job was not done. They were chasing the best seeding possible and needed to win every game. They sat quietly, taking it.
Afterwards, Kate and Veronica headed back to Kate’s car. Sitting for a few moments before Kate started the ignition.
‘That was rough’. Kate said, exhaling loudly.
‘Nat’s right. We have to get our heads in the game.’
‘I know.’ Veronica said, quietly, aware that she had to say something she didn’t want to. ‘I think we have to focus on playoffs right now.’
Kate didn’t say anything, just stared ahead at the wheel.
Veronica continued. ‘Last night was everything. And you mean so much to me, Kate. But I spent the whole of practice thinking about last night and how amazing it was and letting myself be distracted by you.’
‘Oh, you think I’m distracting?’ Kate responded, cheekily.
‘You know you’re distracting.’ Veronica said, a smug look on her face. ‘And I very much look forward to you distracting me again. Just…after playoffs?’
Kate laughed. ‘Then I will count down the days.’
Veronica rolled her eyes. She meant what she had said. She really did. Kate was distracting. All she’d thought about every time she’d looked over at her in practice was how good she looked, how incredible touching her had been, and how much she wanted to do it again. But she needed to focus. So much was relying on her as the team’s leader and she had never felt the pressure more.
And, truthfully, as the days went on, she felt like she was doing a great job. She was locked into practice, film study, training. Everything was basketball, basketball, basketball. Kate was the same. They didn’t really have time to be anything other than teammates. Although, they did make plans to go to Tip’s pop-up event together.
Tip was renting out a store for the launch of her latest fashion line and several of the players planned to go and support her. They were able to get in before the general public and all agreed to take and posts photos to help with promotion for the event. Afterwards, they would go out and celebrate Tip.
Kate, Veronica, Kaitlyn and Laeticia went to the event together. They had dressed smart and looked good. Once there, they greeted Tip, who was in her element saying hi to everyone and showing her pieces. Kate watched as Veronica and Kaitlyn oohed and aahed over several items, deciding what they wanted to buy. Veronica looked beautiful, as always. Fitted crop top, braids down, baggy pants. Kate’s fingers were twitching thinking about touching her again. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about it every time she looked at her. She’d replayed that night over and over, Veronica’s moans and gasps echoing in her ears. She was aching to do it again.
She snapped a photo of the event and posted it to her socials. She hardly ever posted anymore with being so focused on the season, but she wanted to support Tip.
Once the doors were opened to the public, the players slipped out quietly, heading to the bar Tip had agreed to meet them at later. They ordered drinks and sat at a table, chatting and posting the photos of the event. Veronica came over and sat next to Kate. They were so close, that as she sat on the stool, their legs brushed. Kate tried not to make it look like she noticed. But Veronica reached over and rested a hand on her wrist.
‘Did you see that gorgeous jacket Kaitlyn got?’ Veronica asked, showing her a photo on her phone.
‘I’m more interested in what you got.’ Kate said, voice low.
Veronica raised her eyebrows and scrolled through the photos to pictures of what she’d bought. Kate smiled, taking the phone and pretending to be very interested. Veronica laughed. It felt good to laugh again. The last few days had been so intense and game-focused. It was nice to have a break.
Tip eventually joined them, with everyone standing up and cheering when she came in. They sat around, asking her about the event and the public’s reaction.
‘What did you get, Kate?’ Tip asked.
‘That blue jacket you showed me.’ She answered.
‘Oh, yeah? I knew that would look good on you.’ Tip responded, happily.
‘Yeah, it does!’ Veronica said, laying her arm against Kate’s. ‘That’s her next tunnel fit right there.’
‘Absolutely not.’ Kate said, laughing. ‘I am done with fits for the season. It’s too stressful.’
‘Noooo.’ Veronica joked. ‘You owe us a good tunnel fit. You’ve given us nothing. If I’m dressing up, you’re dressing up.’ She leaned her body into Kate’s, smiling cheekily.
‘Fine, fine.’ Kate said, lifting up her hands in surrender.
‘Yes! You all heard her. She has to now.’ Veronica added, before hopping up from her stool. ‘Tip, what are you drinking?’ She asked.
‘Oh, I’ll get the same again thanks, V.’ Tip said, showing Veronica her empty glass.
‘Coming up!’ Veronica exclaimed, as she and some of the others headed to the bar. Kate watched her go, smiling to herself.
Another group decided to head to the ladies’ room so it was just Tip, Mo and Kate left at the table.
‘Hey, Mo. I changed my mind. Would you mind asking V to get me what you had?’ Tip said, indicating the bar.
‘Of course.’ Mo answered, breezily, getting up to do as she asked.
Tip watched her walk away, then quickly sidled up to Kate, her voice low and serious.
‘Hey. What’s going on with you and V?’ She asked, her voice hushed.
‘What do you mean? Kate questioned, trying to act nonchalant.
‘Kate, please. This is me.’ Tip continued, her face sincere. ‘Are you guys sleeping together?’
‘What makes you say that?’
Tip’s face had a look that said she knew Kate was obfuscating.
‘I’m gonna take that as a yes.’ She said, voice still hushed.
‘No, Tip. Nothing’s going on, really.’ Kate replied, the pitch of her voice rising slightly.
It wasn’t technically untrue, but Kate felt like she was lying to Tip and hated it.
‘Well, whatever is going on, you need to be careful. That girl has been mooning over you all night. She’s all in her feels. You better know what the hell you’re doing because if you break her heart, it’s more than me you’re gonna have to deal with.’
‘I’m not…no…I would never. I would never hurt V.’
‘Well, you better hope you’re right, because that girl’s looking at you like she’s in love.’
Tip’s words landed like blows on Kate. She couldn’t say anything else as Mo reappeared at the table. When Veronica and the others came back, Kate was quiet and suddenly overly aware of Veronica’s behavior towards her. She also second guessed her own every move, aware that Tip was probably watching her like a hawk. It put a damper on the evening and she was relieved when Veronica eventually declared they should probably all get going.
When they arrived back at the apartments, Kate headed straight to hers, not even turning to say goodnight to everyone. She needed to be alone and to think. Tip’s words had scared her, mostly because it never occurred to her that their teammates might pick up on what was happening. Suddenly the reality of the situation was hitting her. They were teammates, friends. What if it did all go wrong? Would they be able to stay friends? Would one of them have to request a trade? Would she get waived?
But what if it didn’t go wrong? What were they? Was Kate ready to jump back into another relationship? She truly didn’t know. She felt her phone buzz. A message from Veronica.
You ok? You were pretty quiet on the ride home.
She couldn’t answer. She had no idea what to say.
The next morning, Veronica paced around her apartment. She had been trying to journal, but her mind was distracted. Kate hadn’t responded to her message the night before and she had also ignored Veronica’s offer to come over for breakfast. The silence was unusual and it worried her. She double-checked her phone, but still nothing. She packed her bag to head to the team bus for the road trip to Seattle.
A little while later Kaitlyn was at her door, ready to head to the team facility together.
‘Shall we knock and get Kate?’ Veronica asked her as they left her apartment.
‘Oh, she already left.’ Kaitlyn said, breezily.
‘Oh.’ Veronica said in surprise, trying not to look hurt. They usually always headed to the bus together.
As they drove, all Veronica could think about was whether Kate was ok. She knew something was wrong; she just didn’t know what.
When they arrived, she saw Kate loading her bags onto the bus and then boarding. Veronica silently loaded her bag, then climbed aboard, making her way down towards Kate. She was sitting with Elizabeth, chatting intently.
Elizabeth had only joined the team a few days earlier but her and Kate had known each other for years from college and playing on the Aces together. Veronica had liked her immediately, just as she did with all Kate’s friends. She and Kate made an effort to ensure she was included in all the team activities and hangouts, just as they had with Kaitlyn, Laeticia and any other newcomers to the team throughout the season.
‘Hey.’ Veronica said cheerily.
‘Oh hey V.’ Elizabeth responded, smiling. ‘How are you?’
‘Yeah…good thanks.’ Veronica answered, looking towards Kate expectedly.
Kate looked up but didn’t say anything. Veronica smiled weakly and sat down. She wasn’t sure what to make of it and was still worried that something was really wrong. Kaitlyn came to sit next to her and thankfully distracted Veronica chatting a mile a minute the entire way to the airport.
She waited until they had boarded the plane, then purposely sat in the seat in front of Kate. Kate was sitting with her hood up and headphones on. Veronica knelt on her seat, looking over the back of it and down at Kate behind her.
‘Hey.’ She said, waving her hand in front of Kate’s face.
Kate removed one of her headphones. ‘Hi.’ She responded, flatly.
‘Are you ok?’ Veronica asked, her voice laced with genuine concern.
‘Yeah, I’m fine.’ Kate said, a little short.
Veronica opened her mouth to speak but Kate had already put her headphone back in and was flicking on her phone. Veronica was taken aback and sat down, trying not to take it personally.
The flight was short, but Veronica spent the entire thing obsessing over what was wrong with Kate. She wasn’t one to make everything about her or to easily feel slighted, but she suddenly felt very self-conscious and hurt. Kate seemed to be ignoring her, which wasn’t normal. Veronica just kept trying to tell herself that it wasn’t about her; that Kate need space and she needed to give her that. But as much as she tried not to, the nagging thoughts of whether this was about her started to creep in and, by the end of the flight, she couldn’t stop thinking about how her and Kate had had sex and now Kate was being distant. She missed her; she missed being with her.
As they deboarded, Veronica’s mind was whirling with questions and worries. Did Kate regret what happened? Was it just a one-time thing for her? Was she not into Veronica anymore? Veronica tried to push the thoughts from her mind; hated that she was being insecure. Then she panicked that maybe this was her fault. She’d been the one to say they needed to focus on playoffs. Maybe Kate was feeling rejected and that Veronica didn’t want her? Whatever it was, Veronica felt lonely and the only person she wanted to talk to about it was Kate.
Kate, meanwhile, couldn’t get her head straight. Tip’s warning was running through her head. She kept thinking about what it would mean for their teammates to find out about her and Veronica. She barely knew what it was and now she had to potentially explain it and justify it. The whole thing felt so complicated and overwhelming, and all she wanted was to talk to Veronica about it. But she was second-guessing her every move, feeling like everyone was watching them. She was so tired of feeling like her romantic life was constantly under a microscope. She knew she shouldn’t; that it was nobody’s business but her and Veronica’s, but she couldn’t help it. As much as she didn’t care what the average person thought about her, she cared deeply what her teammates and coaches thought. She knew that there were people who had painted her as some kind of cheating, heartbreaking fuckboy- and she truly did not care at all- but the thought that her teammates or coaches might think that? That was more than she could bear.
Her head was still spinning in the game. Normally, this is when Veronica would be the person she would turn to. She had an uncanny ability to know when Kate was spiraling and just what to say to pull her out of it. In the same way, when Veronica was stressed and ruminating, Kate was able to pull her back down to earth. But, right now, neither of them had that.
The game was horrible for Kate. It wasn’t the worst she had ever played, but it felt like it. She was making uncharacteristic mistakes and none of her shots were landing. And then she panicked. She ran downhill, caught the ball in transition, but overshot the hoop and narrowly avoided going out of bounds. Suddenly, a defender was on her. She couldn’t move from her pivot foot: she was trapped on the baseline and there was nobody to pass to. She could feel the fear and panic rising in her chest and she tossed the ball up, wildly, missing everything. It was such a bizarre and bad shot that the second it left her hands she felt her heart sink. It was like a bad dream. She’d be replaying that shot over and over again in her head for days.
Coach Nakase could see Kate’s eyes were wide and lost and pulled her out. She knew something was wrong. She put a hand on Kate’s shoulder and told her to take a breath. It didn’t help. Kate just kept running through every mistake she had made in her head. She couldn’t get out of it.
They lost the game. Kate felt horrendous. Nobody had played particularly well, but she felt personally responsible. She could practically feel the frustration coming off her teammates.
‘I’m sorry.’ She said to the team, after Coach Nakase finished speaking in the locker room. ‘I don’t know what happened. I’ll be better.’
Veronica looked at her with kind eyes. She could see Kate was hurting and it made her feel terrible. She just wanted to stand up, stride across the locker room and pull her into a hug there and then, but she didn’t move.
‘No, Kate.’ Tip said. ‘We’re a team. Everyone has to be better. This isn’t just on one person. We all have bad games sometimes. But we believe in you.’
Everyone murmured their agreements. Mo reached over and patted Kate’s hand.
‘Don’t be so hard on yourself, girl.’ She said, sweetly. ‘Been there and believe me, beating yourself up isn’t going to help us win.’
They flew straight to Minnesota after the game. On the plane, Kate pulled her hoodie up over her face and leaned into the window, blocking everyone out and trying to sleep. In spite of herself, Veronica kept looking over at her, desperately wishing she could help.
In her hotel room that evening she sent Kate a message:
Hey. Please don’t stress about the game.
I’m here for you. Always.
There was nothing she wanted more than to hug Kate, take away her hurt, and make her laugh. But she also knew Kate needed space. So, she started to get ready for bed, hoping they’d have a chance to speak tomorrow.
A few minutes later, she heard her phone buzz with a message from Kate.
Veronica quickly replied: Always
Not long after, she heard Kate knocking and let her in. She was quiet, subdued, eyes dull. Veronica rubbed her hand down Kate’s arm, following her as they sat on the edge of the bed next to each other.
‘I’m sorry to come over so late. I just…needed to see you.’ Kate said, voice thin and small.
‘You can come over anytime, you know that.’ Veronica said, placing her hand on Kate’s arm gently.
‘I’ve never felt like that in a game before.’ Kate continued. ‘So lost, so panicked. I just…I couldn’t focus and once I was in my head I couldn’t stop it.’
‘Hey,’ Veronica said, shifting so that she was facing Kate, sitting with her leg underneath her. ‘Don’t you dare be hard on yourself. Nobody could have given more to this team, Kate. You haven’t missed a beat; you haven’t missed a game. You’ve fought through injury, roster changes, self-doubt and you’re still here. You’re still fighting. You’ve never stopped believing in me, in Nat, in the team. So don’t you dare stop believing in yourself. Not now. Not when we’re so close to finishing out the season.’
Kate shook her head, like she didn’t really believe what she was hearing.
‘I’m not you, V. I can’t lead like you. I can’t score like you. I don’t play as well as you.’
‘Who says you have to be? You don’t have to be anything but who you are. Because we need you, Kate. You wouldn’t be here if we didn’t.’
Kate turned to look at Veronica, her face soft, her shoulders dropped. She scrunched her nose up, like she was trying to distract from the emotions running through her.
Veronica placed her hand on Kate’s and continued, her voice tender. ‘Even if you don’t feel it, I do. I can believe in you enough for both of us.’
‘V’, Kate said softly, her face breaking with emotion. She opened her mouth to say more but nothing came out. Instead, Veronica saw her eyes brimming, the façade breaking, and she pulled Kate into her, wrapping her arms around her as gently but tightly as she could.
She whispered Kate’s name reassuringly, lovingly as she cradled her head. She pulled back to see tears streaming down Kate’s face and wiped them away gently, brushing her fingertips across her face and kissing where the tears had fallen. She pulled Kate against her, laying kisses on the top of her head protectively.
‘Can I stay here?’ Kate asked, her voice muffled against Veronica.
Veronica pulled back, wiping the tears away again.
‘Not to do anything.’ Kate continued, ‘I just want to be with you.’
Veronica nodded silently, lifting Kate’s hand to her mouth and delicately kissing her fingertips.
‘Always.’ She said, her voice so soft but certain.
When they climbed into Veronica’s bed, they were fully clothed; Kate’s tears finally dried. They lay facing each other on their sides, close enough to feel each other’s breath. Veronica reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind Kate’s ear then brushed her hand along Kate’s cheek. Kate melted into her touch, still wounded and vulnerable.
‘Thank you.’ Kate whispered.
‘For what?’ Veronica asked, her hand still tracing Kate’s face.
‘Being you. You make everything better.’ Kate responded.
‘Funny.’ Veronica breathed. ‘That’s how I feel about you. I couldn’t have gotten through this season without you, Kate. I don’t know how to do any of it without you. I can’t imagine not having you with me.’
She paused, taking a breath and looking down briefly; then continued, heart open. ‘I’ve fallen in love with you, Kate.’
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