Gears of Change

55. Europe. What else?

[gearsofchange]

Where are we?

Recently I have wondered quite a bit about where we all might have thought we'd be 10-15 years on.

I don't think it was here.

[roarieyum]

Anytime you/me/anyone is scared or worried about doing something for the first time, realize that everyone in life is just making it up as they go along as well. Which means there is no wrong way to do it. EVERYONE IS MAKING IT UP. That’s how life works.

[roarieyum]

“8 things to quit in 2018: 1. trying to please everyone. 2. fearing change. 3. living in the past. 4. overthinking. 5. being afraid to be different. 8. sacrificing your happiness for others. 7. thinking you’re not good enough. 8. thinking you have no purpose.”

— Alyssa. (via be-happy-and-enjoy-the-life)

[gearsofchange]

And in 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025, 2026....

[noosphe-re]

Ten Things I Have Learned (by Milton Glaser)

You can only work for people that you like. This is a curious rule and it took me a long time to learn because in fact at the beginning of my practice I felt the opposite. Professionalism required that you didn’t particularly like the people that you worked for or at least maintained an arms length relationship to them, which meant that I never had lunch with a client or saw them socially. Then some years ago I realised that the opposite was true. I discovered that all the work I had done that was meaningful and significant came out of an affectionate relationship with a client. And I am not talking about professionalism; I am talking about affection. I am talking about a client and you sharing some common ground. That in fact your view of life is someway congruent with the client, otherwise it is a bitter and hopeless struggle.

If you have a choice never have a job. One night I was sitting in my car outside Columbia University where my wife Shirley was studying Anthropology. While I was waiting I was listening to the radio and heard an interviewer ask “Now that you have reached 75 have you any advice for our audience about how to prepare for your old age?” An irritated voice said “Why is everyone asking me about old age these days?” I recognised the voice as John Cage. I am sure that many of you know who he was—the composer and philosopher who influenced people like Jasper Johns and Merce Cunningham as well as the music world in general. I knew him slightly and admired his contribution to our times. “You know, I do know how to prepare for old age” he said. “Never have a job, because if you have a job someday someone will take it away from you and then you will be unprepared for your old age. For me, it has always been the same every since the age of 12. I wake up in the morning and I try to figure out how am I going to put bread on the table today? It is the same at 75, I wake up every morning and I think how am I going to put bread on the table today? I am exceedingly well prepared for my old age” he said.

Some people are toxic, avoid them. This is a subtext of number one. There was in the sixties a man named Fritz Perls who was a gestalt therapist. Gestalt therapy derives from art history, it proposes you must understand the ‘whole’ before you can understand the details. What you have to look at is the entire culture, the entire family and community and so on. Perls proposed that in all relationships people could be either toxic or nourishing towards one another. It is not necessarily true that the same person will be toxic or nourishing in every relationship, but the combination of any two people in a relationship produces toxic or nourishing consequences. And the important thing that I can tell you is that there is a test to determine whether someone is toxic or nourishing in your relationship with them. Here is the test: you have spent some time with this person, either you have a drink or go for dinner or you go to a ball game. It doesn’t matter very much but at the end of that time you observe whether you are more energised or less energised. Whether you are tired or whether you are exhilarated. If you are more tired then you have been poisoned. If you have more energy you have been nourished. The test is almost infallible and I suggest that you use it for the rest of your life.

Professionalism is not enough or the good is the enemy of the great. Early in my career I wanted to be professional, that was my complete aspiration in my early life because professionals seemed to know everything —not to mention they got paid for it. Later I discovered after working for a while that professionalism itself was a limitation. After all, what professionalism means in most cases is diminishing risks. So if you want to get your car fixed you go to a mechanic who knows how to deal with transmission problems in the same way each time. I suppose if you needed brain surgery you wouldn’t want the doctor to fool around and invent a new way of connecting your nerve endings. Please do it in the way that has worked in the past. Unfortunately in our field, in the so–called creative—I hate that word because it is misused so often. I also hate the fact that it is used as a noun. Can you imagine calling someone a creative? Anyhow, when you are doing something in a recurring way to diminish risk or doing it in the same way as you have done it before, it is clear why professionalism is not enough. After all, what is required in our field, more than anything else, is the continuous transgression. Professionalism does not allow for that because transgression has to encompass the possibility of failure and if you are professional your instinct is not to fail, it is to repeat success. So professionalism as a lifetime aspiration is a limited goal.

Less is not necessarily more. Being a child of modernism I have heard this mantra all my life. Less is more. One morning upon awakening I realised that it was total nonsense, it is an absurd proposition and also fairly meaningless. But it sounds great because it contains within it a paradox that is resistant to understanding. But it simply does not obtain when you think about the visual of the history of the world. If you look at a Persian rug, you cannot say that less is more because you realise that every part of that rug, every change of colour, every shift in form is absolutely essential for its aesthetic success. You cannot prove to me that a solid blue rug is in any way superior. That also goes for the work of Gaudi, Persian miniatures, art nouveau and everything else. However, I have an alternative to the proposition that I believe is more appropriate. “Just enough is more.”

Style is not to be trusted. I think this idea first occurred to me when I was looking at a marvellous etching of a bull by Picasso. It was an illustration for a story by Balzac called “The Hidden Masterpiece”. I am sure that you all know it. It is a bull that is expressed in 12 different styles going from very naturalistic version of a bull to an absolutely reductive single line abstraction and everything else along the way. What is clear just from looking at this single print is that style is irrelevant. In every one of these cases, from extreme abstraction to acute naturalism they are extraordinary regardless of the style. It’s absurd to be loyal to a style. It does not deserve your loyalty. I must say that for old design professionals it is a problem because the field is driven by economic consideration more than anything else. Style change is usually linked to economic factors, as all of you know who have read Marx. Also fatigue occurs when people see too much of the same thing too often. So every ten years or so there is a stylistic shift and things are made to look different. Typefaces go in and out of style and the visual system shifts a little bit. If you are around for a long time as a designer, you have an essential problem of what to do. I mean, after all, you have developed a vocabulary, a form that is your own. It is one of the ways that you distinguish yourself from your peers, and establish your identity in the field. How you maintain your own belief system and preferences becomes a real balancing act. The question of whether you pursue change or whether you maintain your own distinct form becomes difficult. We have all seen the work of illustrious practitioners that suddenly look old–fashioned or, more precisely, belonging to another moment in time. And there are sad stories such as the one about Cassandre, arguably the greatest graphic designer of the twentieth century, who couldn’t make a living at the end of his life and committed suicide. But the point is that anybody who is in this for the long haul has to decide how to respond to change in the zeitgeist. What is it that people now expect that they formerly didn’t want? And how to respond to that desire in a way that doesn’t change your sense of integrity and purpose.

How you live changes your brain. The brain is the most responsive organ of the body. Actually it is the organ that is most susceptible to change and regeneration of all the organs in the body. I have a friend named Gerald Edelman who was a great scholar of brain studies and he says that the analogy of the brain to a computer is pathetic. The brain is actually more like an overgrown garden that is constantly growing and throwing off seeds, regenerating and so on. And he believes that the brain is susceptible, in a way that we are not fully conscious of, to almost every experience of our life and every encounter we have. I was fascinated by a story in a newspaper a few years ago about the search for perfect pitch. A group of scientists decided that they were going to find out why certain people have perfect pitch. You know certain people hear a note precisely and are able to replicate it at exactly the right pitch. Some people have relevant pitch; perfect pitch is rare even among musicians. The scientists discovered—I don’t know how—that among people with perfect pitch the brain was different. Certain lobes of the brain had undergone some change or deformation that was always present with those who had perfect pitch. This was interesting enough in itself. But then they discovered something even more fascinating. If you took a bunch of kids and taught them to play the violin at the age of 4 or 5 after a couple of years some of them developed perfect pitch, and in all of those cases their brain structure had changed. Well what could that mean for the rest of us? We tend to believe that the mind affects the body and the body affects the mind, although we do not generally believe that everything we do affects the brain. I am convinced that if someone was to yell at me from across the street my brain could be affected and my life might changed. That is why your mother always said, “Don’t hang out with those bad kids.” Mama was right. Thought changes our life and our behaviour. I also believe that drawing works in the same way. I am a great advocate of drawing, not in order to become an illustrator, but because I believe drawing changes the brain in the same way as the search to create the right note changes the brain of a violinist. Drawing also makes you attentive. It makes you pay attention to what you are looking at, which is not so easy.

Doubt is better than certainty. Everyone always talks about confidence in believing what you do. I remember once going to a class in yoga where the teacher said that, spirituality speaking, if you believed that you had achieved enlightenment you have merely arrived at your limitation. I think that is also true in a practical sense. Deeply held beliefs of any kind prevent you from being open to experience, which is why I find all firmly held ideological positions questionable. It makes me nervous when someone believes too deeply or too much. I think that being sceptical and questioning all deeply held beliefs is essential. Of course we must know the difference between scepticism and cynicism because cynicism is as much a restriction of one’s openness to the world as passionate belief is. They are sort of twins. And then in a very real way, solving any problem is more important than being right. There is a significant sense of self–righteousness in both the art and design world. Perhaps it begins at school. Art school often begins with the Ayn Rand model of the single personality resisting the ideas of the surrounding culture. The theory of the avant garde is that as an individual you can transform the world, which is true up to a point. One of the signs of a damaged ego is absolute certainty. Schools encourage the idea of not compromising and defending your work at all costs. Well, the issue at work is usually all about the nature of compromise. You just have to know what to compromise. Blind pursuit of your own ends which excludes the possibility that others may be right does not allow for the fact that in design we are always dealing with a triad—the client, the audience and you. Ideally, making everyone win through acts of accommodation is desirable. But self–righteousness is often the enemy. Self–righteousness and narcissism generally come out of some sort of childhood trauma, which we do not have to go into. It is a consistently difficult thing in human affairs. Some years ago I read a most remarkable thing about love, that also applies to the nature of co–existing with others. It was a quotation from Iris Murdoch in her obituary. It read “Love is the extremely difficult realisation that something other than oneself is real.” Isn’t that fantastic! The best insight on the subject of love that one can imagine.

On aging. Last year someone gave me a charming book by Roger Rosenblatt called “Ageing Gracefully” I got it on my birthday. I did not appreciate the title at the time but it contains a series of rules for ageing gracefully. The first rule is the best. Rule number one is that “it doesn’t matter.” “It doesn’t matter what you think. Follow this rule and it will add decades to your life. It does not matter if you are late or early, if you are here or there, if you said it or didn’t say it, if you are clever or if you were stupid. If you were having a bad hair day or a no hair day or if your boss looks at you cockeyed or your boyfriend or girlfriend looks at you cockeyed, if you are cockeyed. If you don’t get that promotion or prize or house or if you do—it doesn’t matter.” Wisdom at last. Then I heard a marvellous joke that seemed related to rule number 10. A butcher was opening his market one morning and as he did a rabbit popped his head through the door. The butcher was surprised when the rabbit inquired “Got any cabbage?” The butcher said “This is a meat market—we sell meat, not vegetables.” The rabbit hopped off. The next day the butcher is opening the shop and sure enough the rabbit pops his head round and says “You got any cabbage?” The butcher now irritated says “Listen you little rodent I told you yesterday we sell meat, we do not sell vegetables and the next time you come here I am going to grab you by the throat and nail those floppy ears to the floor.” The rabbit disappeared hastily and nothing happened for a week. Then one morning the rabbit popped his head around the corner and said “Got any nails?” The butcher said “No.” The rabbit said “Ok. Got any cabbage?”

Tell the truth. The rabbit joke is relevant because it occurred to me that looking for a cabbage in a butcher’s shop might be like looking for ethics in the design field. It may not be the most obvious place to find either. It’s interesting to observe that in the new AIGA’s code of ethics there is a significant amount of useful information about appropriate behaviour towards clients and other designers, but not a word about a designer’s relationship to the public. We expect a butcher to sell us eatable meat and that he doesn’t misrepresent his wares. I remember reading that during the Stalin years in Russia that everything labelled veal was actually chicken. I can’t imagine what everything labelled chicken was. We can accept certain kinds of misrepresentation, such as fudging about the amount of fat in his hamburger but once a butcher knowingly sells us spoiled meat we go elsewhere. As a designer, do we have less responsibility to our public than a butcher? Everyone interested in licensing our field might note that the reason licensing has been invented is to protect the public not designers or clients. ‘Do no harm’ is an admonition to doctors concerning their relationship to their patients, not to their fellow practitioners or the drug companies. If we were licensed, telling the truth might become more central to what we do.

[justforsmiles]

Why do people feel the need to make a remark about every little thing someone else is doing? So what if someone is wearing crocs? So what if someone doesn’t hold the same beliefs as you do? So what if someone made a rather in your dictionary- “stupid comment”? You’re not much better by choosing to tease and laugh with your “sarcastic and funny humor”. We’re all knowledgeable and geeks in certain areas and ALSO ignorant in others. We all are. It’s not possible to KNOW EVERYTHING. If we do NOT know everything, then do we know anything at all? People just love to think they’re all witty by poking fun at others. You’re not superior or better by doing so. 

[gearsofchange]

I've been this person too many times.

But I'm trying, I'm really trying to not be.

[justforsmiles]

“We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known.”

— Carson Mccullers (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[gearsofchange]

Scary mask

You don't buy or make the scary mask, you make the mask scary.

Advice to my eldest creating paper mache horror masks.

[sweatywisdom]

[gearsofchange]

Or just begin again.

[nakedstory]

“Self-sabotage is knowing exactly what you need to do to improve but not doing it. It’s procrastinating doing the very things that you know will make you happier. It’s waiting till things are 100% perfect till you do them, but that of course never happens. It’s remaining in the comfort zone because of the fear of failure or uneasiness of change. It’s a mindset that you may be completely unaware of until you really think about it. So think about it. Are you a prisoner of your own thoughts? If you are, take responsibility and acknowledge you put yourself into that prison. But know that you have the power to free yourself.”

— (via labias)

[gearsofchange]

The Niche

I wonder what evolutionary niche sadness is supposedly for? I was sad, yesterday. Today I am restless. My mind tells me to get up and do things before I have even finished or begun planning the thing before. I hate days like this. The best I can do is a list of things to do, to be done, to think about, to lament and procrastinate over. Maybe I'll write something useful and in a few days time single out that one thing and call today a good day. Maybe it all gets ripped up and burned. I don't know. David Hockney is dead too. That and the world is at war. And we are all fucked. Totally and utterly fucked.

But mostly perhaps I'll do the thing, the one thing.

Maybe it will become my niche.

[gearsofchange]

Too late

She was a fond memory, a friend of a friend, and after we lost touch I sometimes would see her crop up in pictures and conversation. We were almost a thing, twice. A party in our youth where a decision led me into the arms and legs of a French girl for the next few years instead of her. And again a few years later after a late night teeth-brushing ambush on a skiing holiday in France. That time she chose wisely.

Life happened. A few years pass. I am less busy. I am nostalgic.

And then a picture, and the words underneath. 'On your heavenly birthday.'

She died eight years ago.

Suddenly.

Just gone.

I'm too late.

[gearsofchange]

Fewer eggs with every year. The egg hunt stopped last year. Like the Christmas treasure hunt stopped too. When did we decide that fun was something we had to stop? Why did we decide?

Happy Easter.

[gearsofchange]

For Your Eyes Only

Where next with my photography?

I started my photography journey with a simple Polaroid instant camera. I was so young. I still have some of those pictures, taken at the first home I lived in. Some are missing, why I don't know but that's time for you. I loved the idea of being able to capture the image of real things. I believe my next camera was a Halina or Hanimex 35mm point and shoot. I still have a lot of these early pictures, and it is clear I understood next to nothing about light and my ability to turn what I saw with my eyes into an interesting picture was mostly down to luck. I loved my father's Zenith, clunky as it was; it LOOKED like a proper camera to my young eyes. That broke and he would in turn upgrade to an Olympus OM10, which is now upstairs in my own camera bag, still working after 30 something years.

I desperately wanted an Olympus Trip 35 thanks to its look and a great advertising spree from Olympus featuring David Bailey. It never happened. I stuck with Olympus but the newer models with motor-wind and took more pictures than ever around my university years. Then I started seeing what friends were doing with their photography and I took the next logical step into the world of SLRs. Technically my friends with the medium format were my real dream, but money you know. Canon won my heart over and for a decade I took pictures of friends, parties, outdoors, models with this kit.

Only friends and a few select others ever saw these pictures. Probably for the best. But then the Internet happened and digital photography a little after that. Money matters meant that a single purchase of a digital camera was bought for the same cost as a dozen rolls of film and processing. The instant results meant no need to wait for or pay for processing. No film costs either. The math made the switch practical. Small hand held Casio with incredibly clear pictures, and then a Nikon DSLR. I still have that and its successor, my trusty and barely used D7100.

I had a website. Free at first. And a blog. Eventually I posted some pictures. For friends and family but for the first time I could share to a wider audience. Over time I found my tribe over places like Tumblr and Flickr. I enjoyed some years of talking with my peers, admiring, learning, creating. And like all things, their golden age came and went. My personal website had already gone; I was just an amateur who liked to share. There was no need to pour huge sums of money into things. Even places that charged were cheap back then.

Whatever my future in the world of photography and creativity, I leave fading footprints across a dozen or so websites. My tribe moved on, we all changed, and the websites reinvented themselves; universally for the worse. Like a lover, once you are done you can never really go back. It's not the same. And the world is a big place. I think it's goodbye.

What do I want from photography?

I think I am done with platforms, and apps, and perhaps websites. I want to show to people who care. And that care comes through the form of sacrifice. Money, time, collaboration, love. I want pictures to be held, considered, pondered, touched, even destroyed. I want it to be physical. I want it to be love.

[gearsofchange]

One eye is open, the other...

Here's to another 5 years. How many 5 year plans have there been now? One will surely be the final one. Until then I need to find some chaos. Its been too long. If that's you... Hi there.

How easy it is to be a passenger in ones own life. Having a good look in the rear mirror and we used to be so fucking awesome. What happened. When did we take our foot of the gas, and when did the wheels stop? What happened to being alive?

[nakedstory]

26 Ways To Take Your Life Back When You’re Broken

I think this is great article for anyone who’s been struggling or feeling broken & lost. I’ve used several of the suggestions listed here to get my own life back on track, and I think these are great things to keep in mind for the coming year. I don’t know most of you, but if you’re going through a rough time and don’t have anyone else to talk to, please feel free to reach out.

Hope everyone has a happy and healthy 2016!

…………………………………………………………..

There’s an old, outdated assumption that time heals all wounds. But I believe this to be untrue. In the words of Dr. Phil, “Time doesn’t change us. It’s what we do with that time that changes us.” We are all more than capable of taking control back into our own hands when life knocks us down. It’s just a matter of doing so deliberately. Of making changes that will move us forward. Of finding a way to progress with purpose, rather than simply letting life knock us around into whoever we will become next. When you’re feeling lost and disheartened with life, here are 26 simple methods of taking your power back.

1. Get In Shape.  Strong bodies and strong minds go hand-in-hand. Forget about how your workout routine is making you look and start focusing on how it makes you feel – on the strength, the dedication and the structure that it brings to your mindset. By harnessing your physical power, you’re reminding yourself that you’re capable of so much more than you used to be. In the words of Jillian Michaels, “Fitness isn’t about a crunch or a push up. It’s about taking your power back.” 

2. Get out of town.  Take a day, a week or a month to escape your usual surroundings and welcome in the world outside your doorstep. Sometimes a change in mindset is as simple as a change in scenery – and being away from home allows you the space, the freedom and the tranquility to heal on your own terms. 

3. Rewrite your story.  The past is nothing more than a story we repeat to ourselves – and allowing ourselves to understand this is an incredibly liberating notion. Visit a narrative therapist who can help you re-frame your experiences, or journal them out until you’re able to come to a new understanding of why things happened the way they did. Learn to pinpoint the opportunities for growth within the destruction of your past – and then move forward with those opportunities close to your heart. 

4. Invite new people into your life.  The positive effect we are able to have on one another as humans is immeasurable. Sometimes the best way to heal from the toxicity of past relationships is to allow the beauty of new ones to flourish. We all end up thinking, behaving and being like the people we spend the most time around – so choose the ones who make you want to be the best possible version of yourself. 

5. Tell your story.  Be honest about your past. Share the pain of everything that’s happened to you and allow your strength in moving past it to inspire other people. Don’t hide or downplay anything that feels important to you. Refuse to apologize for where you’ve been. 

6. Be disciplined about self-care.  When we’re sick, we take particular care to rest, drink fluids and take medicine – even if it temporarily impedes on our productivity. When we’re struggling emotionally, we have to take care of ourselves in much of the same way. By making self-care a priority, you are setting yourself up for a quicker and infinitely less painful recovery. 

7. Change your appearance.  Sometimes we need a deliberate outward change to reflect a subtle internal one. By altering your hair, makeup or style, you’re concretely welcoming change into your life – and recognizing that it can be a good thing. In fact, it can even be something that happens on your own terms. 

8. Quit what isn’t working for you.  When the stakes are down and our lives are lying in shambles, we are paradoxically awarded the ideal opportunity to start over. Use your ill fortune as the excuse you’ve been waiting for to walk away from that shitty job, toxic relationship or commitment that is making you miserable. If you’re going to be forced to start over, you might as well do it once, the right way. 

9. Give yourself permission to let go.  Not everything that happens to us has to have a meaning or a lesson. If your past no longer serves you, give yourself permission to let go and forget about the pain that has been holding you back. You dictate your story and you don’t have to place emphasis on anything that makes you feel small. 

10. Connect with people who’ve been through something similar.  Seek out the words, company and comforts of those who understand what you’re going through. Read their stories, cherish the wisdom they’ve gleaned and use it as a constant, pervasive reminder that you are never alone. 

11. Unplug for an entire week.  If you are able to do so, take a full week of your life and spend it outdoors or on the road, somewhere where your Facebook notifications can’t reach you. Sometimes it takes disconnecting from your everyday life to realize how trivial most of your worries are – and how capable you are of existing completely outside of them. 

12. Physically de-clutter your life.  Take a full weekend to clean your apartment or home in a way that you never have before – ruthlessly ridding it of everything you no longer use and organizing it in a way that feels mentally refreshing. When our physical environments are in order, it becomes easier to keep our minds uncluttered, too. 

13. Strengthen your relationships with the people who love you.  A close friend once told me “There’s no time like when you’re down on your luck to realize who’s really there for you in life.” When everything is falling apart, take notice of who is still standing beside you – those are the people who are always going to matter the most. And there’s no time like the present to appreciate them for all they’re worth. 

14. Follow the food guide for a month.  Even the healthiest among us aren’t always putting the right foods into our bodies. So for one month, try to do so. Eat the right amounts of fruits, veggies, grains, dairy and meat (or meat alternatives). Notice changes in your energy level and mindset – and then try it all over again the next month. 

15. Take a course that teaches you something new.  What we know changes the landscape of who we are. By adding to your internal database of knowledge, you are expanding your horizons and reminding yourself that there is always more to be learned and always more ways for your worldview to shift. 

16. Make a budget and stick to it.  It’s difficult to feel in control of our lives when our finances are out of control. By coming face-to-face with our spending habits, we’re giving ourselves a leg up on conquering them effectively. There’s nothing quite as soothing as figuring out a way to live below your means. 

17. Establish a healthy source of validation.  None of us are islands. Though we all strive to be strong, independent adults in our day-to-day lives, we all need love and affection. And finding a friend or loved one who is willing to remind you why you’re wonderful when you forget it just might be what keeps you afloat on the bad days. Validation is not toxic if you’re seeking it in the right places. 

18. Become invested in the process of change, not the outcome.  Too often, we pit all of our hopes on future accomplishments that may never come to fruition. Rather than telling yourself ‘I’ll be happy when…’ learn to find joy in the simple process of bettering yourself. Take pride in the fact that you’re making changes for yourself, rather than pitting your happiness on the outcome of those changes. 

19. Learn a new language.  Learning a new language may be one of the best available ways to remind yourself that there’s an entire world out there – one that operates on a completely different premise than yours. Committing to learning a non-native language proves that you could adapt and mould to one of those other realities if you wanted to – which consequently makes you feel a little less defeated by yours. 

20. Learn to walk away.  Perhaps the single most important step to regaining control over your life comes through learning to walk away from the situations that are holding you back. It takes an incredible amount of bravery to break away from what you’ve known. But it also gives way to an incredible opportunity to start over the way you’ve always wanted to. 

21. Let yourself be happier than you are comfortable with.  Too often, we sabotage our own happiness out of a reluctance to trust it. Rather than allowing ourselves to grow into bigger shoes, we declare our feet ‘not big enough’ and retreat. We have to start allowing ourselves to let go of guilt and self-doubt and start seizing opportunities as they arise. Even if we feel a bit out of our league along the way. 

22. Set and enforce boundaries.  There will eternally be people out there who are willing to rob you of your joy in exchange for a dose of their toxicity. And one of the most important lessons we may ever have to learn is that we cannot save those people from themselves. We have to learn to set clear boundaries if we don’t want to drown alongside them. Even if it’s someone we love. 

23. Cut out a vice for 100 days.  The idea of never drinking, smoking or eating junk food again is an intimidating enough mission for any of us to give up on before we’ve even gotten started. So instead of resolving to cut out one of your vices eternally, try cutting one out for 100 days. It is enough time for you to see the positive affects of what you’ve done, but a short enough time for the end to always be in sight. And who knows – maybe once you realize how great you feel without one of your vices, it will turn into a permanent lifestyle change. 

24. Try something that genuinely scares you.  There is nothing that boosts confidence quite like overcoming your fears. Make a deliberate point to take on a challenge that has always scared you when you’re feeling down – though it may seem like ridiculous timing to do so, the strength and sense of self-efficacy that will come from conquering your worries will take you further than you could possibly imagine. 

25. Look at how far you have come.  Look back at the person who was once so lost and then look at who you’ve become since then. You may not be all the way to where you’d like to be, but you’re on your way. And you’re a hell of a lot further than you used to be. 

26. Forgive others. Forgive the Universe. Forgive yourself.  Don’t allow anger or fear to keep you trapped in a damaging past. Allow yourself the opportunity to forgive those who have hurt you, to forgive the injustices done to you and to forgive yourself for everything you messed up on your path to redemption. Forgive not to relieve other people of accountability, but to finally allow yourself the freedom and space to move on. And to take your damn life back. 

 Written by Heidi Priebe. Original article can be found here. 

[gearsofchange]

Wasting time

Looking back over the last few months, the real problem is the amount of time I feel I waste instead of getting things done... doing... starting even. LinkedIn; I would like to blame it but its the monster the people using it have allowed it to become and the anxiety it raises in people using it. The 'social' element is as bad and addictive as any social media platform, with the added pain of telling you just why you cannot get a job, why you are too old, why AI will replace you when you blink, and so on. The bias for bad news, the echos of bullshit, and the gritting of ones teeth as you read the lip puckering arse kissing exhausting updates... urgh. I hate everything that LinkedIn has become and what it seems designed to make people feel. And like any social media platform, it is just the biggest time sink.

Do I hate LinkedIn or do I hate myself for taking its algorithmic psychological mind fuck seriously? Answers on a postcard, or just scream into the void. I'll hear.

[gearsofchange]

What do you want?

Was asked what I would like for my upcoming birthday.

Been thinking about that, on and off, for a while.

I want to be reborn.