yeah

Eli | 28 | dutch | feelings and shit

[geheimegedachten2]

september, 2025

To be loved,

To be desired,

To be ripped apart,

Piece by piece,

Hunger, lust and love

All coinciding

Existing

[geheimegedachten2]

14 august, 2025

Love is difficult as it is

Infatuation, longing, yearning

But with you it all feels natural

Captivative, trustful and save

I want it to encompass me

To feel and live again

(Yet I know it will never be)

[geheimegedachten2]

14 august, 2025

My feelings are mine

For nobody to touch

Yet it gets played with

Like a toy

Handled by a kid

These are mine to keep

And no one else

[geheimegedachten2]

21 July, 2025

I’m yearning for a difference

But anxious for change

Afraid you will leave

But I'll always grieve

Of what have could been

[geheimegedachten2]

[melloncolliegalaxies]

[geheimegedachten2]

9 july, 2023

Sometimes you sit in a dark room,

Pondering about life.

Is it all worth it,

The pain,

The struggle,

Is it all worth?

I stare at my computer screen,

Blue light falling upon my face,

A tear rolling down my cheek.

Who knows...

I close my eyes,

I lay down on my arms.

Off I go...

[geheimegedachten2]

Dear predator from the soccer club. (and my mom who did nothing)

Dear predator,

You were a good friend of my mother, dad and everyone around. When you were in your late 20′s, you touched me and my sister at the waist. We were only teenagers, 14 and 12 years old. You disgust me, mother you disgust me for allowing this and telling us to keep it down.

I felt disgusted for years, not feeling like a used rag. After years of thinking I was done with you, you became my boss and pulled the same shit of sending me messages. You had a girlfriend, the one you called your wife and yet you were being an invasive creep.

Fuck you for being like that, fuck you for letting me feel that way and fuck you for taking that time from me!

I DESERVE BETTER, I DESERVE A NORMAL LIFE WITHOUT FEAR OF SOMETHING GOING WRONG.

FUCK YOU.

[geheimegedachten2]

Actually finished a piece 😌

Listened to Deutschland RMX from Richard to make it.

[angelguk]

take this quiz to find out what colour your writing is 💌

[viking-writing]

Mohaha I am not surprised!

However... 😂

[geheimegedachten2]

I mean I guess? It's familiarity but if it's a love letter or a warm feeling or a lightheartedness... I mustn't agree.

[geheimegedachten2]

24.09.2021

sometimes life isn’t as it seems.

one moment you are happy, laughing with your friends...

the next it seems to have disappeared, like a void to fill.

yet it doesn’t happen and you will just sit there, lonely around the masses.

[geheimegedachten2]

when you have anything but control, you can control yourself.

feeling powerful when consummation is minimal. feeling powerful when you can say no. feeling powerful when you reach that state of mind. feeling powerful when you pull all the strings.

only you will become powerless, when it consumes you. when the no, takes power from you. when the state of mind, takes that power from you. when the strings get pulled, that takes power from you.

when you have anything but control, you will be controlled.

[geheimegedachten2]

20.08.2021

now that i put the iron towards my skin

crimson flows

just like tears i’ve cried before

put into tissue

and of course forgotten

after time it becomes rotten

-geheimegedachten2

[geheimegedachten2]

And posted from my old blog that got deleted. Maybe I will have more soon enough.