My Sanctuary

There will be peace in my temple.

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Good morning to whoever wrote this Wikipedia page:

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Sampled

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Do I have to?

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Does salt really work against ghosts? Or is that another lie that television made up and are snorting as ppl are running around looking for ghosts with a batch of their mother’s good salt.

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

I’m not gonna lie. There have been many times that I have wanted to take my life. Not something that I wear as a badge of honor. But each time I’ve contemplated it, I was stopped, so it makes me think that I have to be here for some reason. Something is keeping me alive. 

I’ve spent hours contemplating what it could be. And I finally found my answer.

It was hope. It was hope that things would get better. 

And every time it has.

So I guess my thing is: If you have also experienced those kinda thoughts, latch onto something that will give you a reason to stay. It doesn’t matter if it is your child, sister, dog or because in a month there is a concert for your favorite band. 

Find one reason to live that causes all the reasons you should not to look meek in comparison. 

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

I think what parents (at least mine) find it amazing (in a cynical kinda way) is that we (this generation) question everything. We don’t just take things at face value. Things that they and their parents have long accepted, we question as to why we have to accept. And we refuse to accept until a thorough research is done. 

For example, the Bible, my sister and I have questioned it and have expressed how we think people who have written and or interpreted it may have twisted the original meaning to suit their purpose. Something that my parents were taught never to question or risk being damned to hell.

I’m not saying that my parents are close minded. I’m just saying that things we have questioned them about they never once thought to ask because they weren’t allowed to think freely like we have been allowed to. 

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Toxic Positivity: No matter what happens everything will be alright.

Healthy Positivity: No matter what happens I will be alright.

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Trauma

For those who are trying to write a traumatic character and not sure how to make it believable. I’ll give you my experience personally.

Last year, I was using my microwave and wasn’t aware that I had left the food in it too long and it begun to emit smoke.

Now, you would think accidents happen? That couldn’t possibly influence their life in any way?

Wrong.

Now, I can’t let something microwave without watching it constantly. There have been times where I smelt smoke and looked at the microwave even though I wasn’t using it.

It gets better. 

Even when I’m outside and there is no microwave, I still feel my heart beat faster and my adrenaline spikes.

And it’s like you know that you are being ridiculous but you can’t help it.

Do I have nightmares? I do not. Is it something that is constantly on my mind? No. I only think about it when I have been triggered somehow (when I smell smoke or hear microwave sound).

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Trauma doesn’t have to be something so life-changing like almost dying in a car accident. It’s like someone said, “If it hurt you, it hurt you.” You shouldn’t feel ridiculous for being hurt or traumatized by something that others would deem worthless. You have your reasons.

Trauma doesn’t have to mean that it’s constantly on your mind. It could only occur when some sense was triggered-a smell, a sight, a word, etc.

After the traumatic event, it is only natural that people don’t want to talk about it or believe that they are alright. (I told my mom I was alright then silently cried when I hung up on the phone. I didn’t admit anything because it felt stupid to be traumatized by it. It wasn’t until a few days later that I admitted that I was not okay.)

Trauma is only thinking of the moment and feeling this surge of helplessness that surge through you as you relive the moment.

Trauma is trying to understand you are acting or feeling so odd and uncomfortable. (My mom told me it’s because I care about others’ safety and if the smoke had really turned into a fire someone would could’ve gotten hurt and that would have been on me.)

Trauma is going over the hundreds of ways that the incident could’ve been avoided or been like tamed and then hating yourself because you only thought about it after the incident.

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Take this at face value because I’m not a psychology anything. I wouldn’t know what you’re supposed to feel. I’m just saying that is how I felt. Everyone is different.

I think the main thing that people have in common is that they believe themselves to be alright when they really are just suppressing their fears in hope that it will disappear. 

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Trauma

For those who are trying to write a traumatic character and not sure how to make it believable. I’ll give you my experience personally.

Last year, I was using my microwave and wasn’t aware that I had left the food in it too long and it begun to emit smoke.

Now, you would think accidents happen? That couldn’t possibly influence their life in any way?

Wrong.

Now, I can’t let something microwave without watching it constantly. There have been times where I smelt smoke and looked at the microwave even though I wasn’t using it.

It gets better. 

Even when I’m outside and there is no microwave, I still feel my heart beat faster and my adrenaline spikes.

And it’s like you know that you are being ridiculous but you can’t help it.

Do I have nightmares? I do not. Is it something that is constantly on my mind? No. I only think about it when I have been triggered somehow (when I smell smoke or hear microwave sound).

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Trauma doesn’t have to be something so life-changing like almost dying in a car accident. It’s like someone said, “If it hurt you, it hurt you.” You shouldn’t feel ridiculous for being hurt or traumatized by something that others would deem worthless. You have your reasons.

Trauma doesn’t have to mean that it’s constantly on your mind. It could only occur when some sense was triggered-a smell, a sight, a word, etc.

After the traumatic event, it is only natural that people don’t want to talk about it or believe that they are alright. (I told my mom I was alright then silently cried when I hung up on the phone. I didn’t admit anything because it felt stupid to be traumatized by it. It wasn’t until a few days later that I admitted that I was not okay.)

Trauma is only thinking of the moment and feeling this surge of helplessness that surge through you as you relive the moment.

Trauma is trying to understand you are acting or feeling so odd and uncomfortable. (My mom told me it’s because I care about others’ safety and if the smoke had really turned into a fire someone would could’ve gotten hurt and that would have been on me.)

Trauma is going over the hundreds of ways that the incident could’ve been avoided or been like tamed and then hating yourself because you only thought about it after the incident.

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

I guess this post for anyone who might not have realized that they have been traumatized or someone trying to make their character traumatic. If you want, I could even make a post about how to try to get over it.

Note: I am not a psychology anything. I’ve never studied it in my life. I just felt like sharing my own experience. 

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Trauma

For those who are trying to write a traumatic character and not sure how to make it believable. I’ll give you my experience personally.

Last year, I was using my microwave and wasn’t aware that I had left the food in it too long and it begun to emit smoke.

Now, you would think accidents happen? That couldn’t possibly influence their life in any way?

Wrong.

Now, I can’t let something microwave without watching it constantly. There have been times where I smelt smoke and looked at the microwave even though I wasn’t using it.

It gets better. 

Even when I’m outside and there is no microwave, I still feel my heart beat faster and my adrenaline spikes.

And it’s like you know that you are being ridiculous but you can’t help it.

Do I have nightmares? I do not. Is it something that is constantly on my mind? No. I only think about it when I have been triggered somehow (when I smell smoke or hear microwave sound).

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Trauma doesn’t have to be something so life-changing like almost dying in a car accident. It’s like someone said, “If it hurt you, it hurt you.” You shouldn’t feel ridiculous for being hurt or traumatized by something that others would deem worthless. You have your reasons.

Trauma doesn’t have to mean that it’s constantly on your mind. It could only occur when some sense was triggered-a smell, a sight, a word, etc.

After the traumatic event, it is only natural that people don’t want to talk about it or believe that they are alright. (I told my mom I was alright then silently cried when I hung up on the phone. I didn’t admit anything because it felt stupid to be traumatized by it. It wasn’t until a few days later that I admitted that I was not okay.)

Trauma is only thinking of the moment and feeling this surge of helplessness that surge through you as you relive the moment.

Trauma is trying to understand you are acting or feeling so odd and uncomfortable. (My mom told me it’s because I care about others’ safety and if the smoke had really turned into a fire someone would could’ve gotten hurt and that would have been on me.)

Trauma is going over the hundreds of ways that the incident could’ve been avoided or been like tamed and then hating yourself because you only thought about it after the incident.

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Trauma

For those who are trying to write a traumatic character and not sure how to make it believable. I’ll give you my experience personally.

Last year, I was using my microwave and wasn’t aware that I had left the food in it too long and it begun to emit smoke.

Now, you would think accidents happen? That couldn’t possibly influence their life in any way?

Wrong.

Now, I can’t let something microwave without watching it constantly. There have been times where I smelt smoke and looked at the microwave even though I wasn’t using it.

It gets better. 

Even when I’m outside and there is no microwave, I still feel my heart beat faster and my adrenaline spikes.

And it’s like you know that you are being ridiculous but you can’t help it.

Do I have nightmares? I do not. Is it something that is constantly on my mind? No. I only think about it when I have been triggered somehow (when I smell smoke or hear microwave sound).

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Generations before us: I don't need therapy. I'm completely fine. So what if I cry in my sleep? So what if my father use to beat me? I'm just gonna bottle up all my pain and move on with my life. I'm sure everything is going to be fine.

This generation to previous generations: It's because you didn't get therapy that I know need like twice the amount of the average person. And have issues that wouldn't exist had you gotten your shit together.

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

I was talking to myself and got curious. 

Secondly, how dare you call me out on my bullshit.

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

(Call me out if I’ve said before because I’m not keeping track).

If you have problems thinking about what a character would say in a certain situation then I have a hint that works well.

Those who like to read, have many characters in their mind that they adore or loathe (even those who prefer anime, manga or tv shows). Think what character you want to person to model after and answer in a way that you know that that character would answer.

For example, 

I wrote this scene:

I was thinking Percy Jackson when I wrote this character.

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

The thing I learnt about picking out a character’s power is that is that there is so much to choose from that it becomes the toughest but most fun part of creating a character. 

Tips I use

Don’t list a power that you don’t know how to explain. Example, I found this power called ice-fire manipulation and I still don’t know what that is. If you don’t know what that is, trust me someone will pick up on it.

The power has to either: a) suit the character’s personality/appearance or b) completely contrast it.  It depends on what reaction you are aiming for from your audience. Do you want like “I can’t believe this innocent looking little girl can split a man’s head in half with the flick of her finger” or like “she’s such a ball of energy is it any surprise that she can manipulate fire?”

Know what challenges the character will be facing and if it will help them, hurt them or be completely useless. I love powers that have to do with dealing with the undead so naturally I wanted my mc to have them, but I had to change it because there was no instance whereby that power would come in handy at all.

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

Just a Hint

For those who have  problems making up language or animal or whatever for their fantasy novel. You just pull a chimera: Take two or more and smash them together then make up a name then maybe add some fantastical trait.

Example

Mermaid-Vampire. Draconian Elf (don’t ask). Octo-Shark (horrible mix but just for earthly animal examples)

Or just use one specific animal, plant or whatever and do the same, add weird details.

For example, a Serpentine is a snake that had grow to the size of a whale. They can also breathe underwater for long periods of time. They hunt at night and sleep in the day.

(In terms of animals, if you have a problem with their food, just make up an equivalent. Like snakes like rats so in the Serpentine’s case maybe it’s rats the size of a small car.)

[gendernonconformingpriestess]

I don’t mean to come once in a while and then leave.

It’s just literally nothing interesting is going in my life.

Rephrased: Interesting (enough) things happen. I just can’t remember it long enough.