genderqueer positivity

A blog intended to bring positive and affirming messages to the genderqueer community everyday. | "We're here, we're queer, get used to it." | genderqueer.positivity on Instagram.

[genderqueerpositivity]

Pride, Awareness, Acceptance, Remembrance, and Visibility Events Calendar

(This is an incomplete list and will be updated as needed.)

January:

Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month

Thyroid Awareness Month

World Braille Day (Jan 4th)

Trans Prisoner Day of Action and Solidarity (Jan 22nd)

International Holocaust Remembrance Day (Jan 27th)

February:

LGBTQ+ History Month (UK)

Black History Month (USA/Canada)

Polyamory Week (Canada, week of Valentine's Day)

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (first full week after 14th.)

Chosen Family Day (Feb 22)

Rare Disease Day (February 28th)

March:

Women's History Month

National Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month

Bisexual Health Awareness Month (#BiHealthMonth)

Disability Day of Mourning (March 1st)

Zero Discrimination Day (March 1st)

Dyscalculia Day (March 3rd)

International Women's Day (March 8th)

National Abortion Provider Appreciation Day (March 10th)

World Down Syndrome Day (March 21st)

Neurodiversity Celebration Week (March 21st-27th)

Atheist Day (March 23rd)

World Bipolar Day (March 30th)

Trans Week of Visibility (week of March 31st)

International Transgender Day of Visibility (#TDOV, March 31st).

April:

Autism Acceptance Month

Queer & Trans Kink Month

Arab American Heritage Month

Sexual Assault Awareness Month

World Autism Acceptance Day (April 2nd)

International Asexuality Day (April 6th, may change yearly)

National Deaf LGBTQ+ Awareness Week (second or third week, alternates yearly)

Day of Silence (date varies)

National Transgender HIV Testing Day (April 18th)

Nonbinary Parents Day (third Sunday)

Anniversary of "Genderqueer" being added to the dictionary (April 20th, 2016)

Lesbian Visibility Day (April 26th)

May:

Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month

Jewish American Heritage Month

Mental Health Awareness Month

EDS and HSD Awareness Month

National Day of Reason (first Thursday)

International Family Equality Day (first Sunday)

Global Accessibility Awareness Day (third Thursday)

National Honor Our LGBT+ Elders Day (May 16th)

International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia (May 17th)

Agender Pride Day (May 19th)

Period Poverty Awareness Week (third full week)

Harvey Milk Day (May 22nd)

Pansexual and Panromantic Awareness and Visibility Day (May 24th)

World Thyroid Day (May 25th)

Menstrual Heath Day (May 28th)

World Multiple Sclerosis Day (May 30th)

June:

LGBTQIA+ Pride Month

Global Day of Parents (June 1st)

National Gun Violence Awareness Day (first Friday)

Pulse Night of Remembrance (June 12th)

Neurodivergent Pride Day (June 12th)

Learning Disability Week (third week)

Autistic Pride Day (June 18th)

Anniversary of Obergefell v. Hodges (June 26th)

National HIV Testing Day (June 27th)

Stonewall Riots Anniversary (June 28th)

July:

Disability Pride Month

Abrosexual Awareness Day (July 2nd)

International Femme Appreciation Day (First Saturday of July)

Queerplatonic Relationships Day (#QPRDay, third Saturday)

International Nonbinary People's Day (July 14th)

Nonbinary Awareness Week (week of 14th)

Week or Visibility for Non-Monogamy (July 15-21)

International Drag Day (July 16th)

National Parents' Day (USA, fourth Sunday)

International Self Care Day (July 24th)

August:

International Childfree Day (August 1st)

Autistic Dignity Day (August 8th)

Gay Uncles Day (second Sunday)

Polyamorous Awareness Week (third week)

International Butch Appreciation Day (August 18th)

Transgender Flag Day (August 19th)

Wear It Purple Day (Australia, last Friday)

International Day of Protest Against ABA (August 31st)

September:

Bi Pride Month

National Hispanic Heritage Month (Sept 15th-Oct 15th)

Bisexual Awareness Week (week of Sept 23)

Celebrate Bisexuality Day (Sept 23)

International Day of Sign Languages (Sept 23)

International Safe Abortion Day (Sept 28)

National Day For Truth and Reconciliation (Sept 30th, Canada)

October:

LGBTQ+ History Month (USA/Canada)

National Hispanic Heritage Month (Sept 15th-Oct 15th)

Augmentative and Alternative Communication Awareness Month

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

ADHD Awareness Month

National Kink Month (USA)

Black History Month (UK)

International Lesbian Day (Oct 8th)

World Mental Health Day (Oct 10th)

National Coming Out Day (Oct 11th)

National Freethought Day (Oct 12th)

OCD Awareness Week (second full week of October)

Trans Cake Day/Cake For Trans Friends Day (October 14th)

International Pronouns Day (third Wednesday)

Spirit Day (third Thursday)

LGBTQ+ Center Awareness Day (October 19th)

Intersex Awareness Day (Oct 26th)

Asexual Awareness Week (last full week of October)

November:

Native American Heritage Month

Autistics Speaking Day (Nov 1st)

Intersex Day of Remembrance/Intersex Solidarity Day (Nov 8th)

Transgender Rite of Ancestor Elevation (Nov 12th-20th)

Trans Parent Day (first Sunday)

Transgender Awareness Week (Nov 13th-19th)

Nonbinary Children's Day (Nov 13th)

Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR, Nov 20th)

National Polyamory Day (Canada, Nov 23rd)

December:

World AIDS Day (Dec 1st)

International Day of People With Disabilities (Dec 3rd)

Bisexual Pride Flag Day (Dec 5th)

Gender Expansive Parents Day (Dec 6th)

Pansexual Pride Day (Dec 8th)

Human Rights Day (Dec 10th)

[genderqueerpositivity]

Minnesota’s Giant Rainbow and Leather Pride Flags

June 28, 1998. Both flags measured approximately 50 feet wide and 75 feet long.

[sen-thebootbimbo]

Hey, everyone!🖐️Minnesota leathergirl here! This year, the MN leather community retired our leather flag seen in the above photo. It was a beautiful thing, and we even had a photo shoot with the old flag, and turned it into various things (including stuffed animals, patches, and a piece that was sent to the Leather Archive)!

But good news! We replaced…with an even larger one!

The flag now measures over 100ft long and 70+ft wide! To my knowledge, it is the largest leather Pride flag in North America, and possibly the world!

I love being part of the leather scene in Minnesota. I’ve met some amazing, sexy, brilliant, incredible people here, and all my leather and leather-curious followers should come check it out!

[genderqueerpositivity]

It sure would be cool right about now if the news cycle would cycle the fuck on already.

[genderqueerpositivity]

This is a question I should've asked my surgeon but didn't think of: how long do I have to wait before I can wear a binder again?

I can ask at my first post-op appointment next week, but I would like to wear it today. 😬 Pretty much everything that came up on Google was about post-surgery abdominal binders, not chest binders. I don't know how people wear those, I can't even stand the pressure of the waistband from an actual pair of jeans right now. I've been living in basketball shorts and loose pajamas for the past two weeks.

I'm tempted to risk it, but I already overdid it yesterday and hurt myself. Maybe I'm just going to be wearing a much looser shirt today than I wanted to. Y'all ever put on a shirt and look straight down and immediately cringe? Ugh.

I'm not gonna risk it.

Slim chance, but did anyone else happen to ask their surgeon the binder question? What was the answer, just out of curiosity?

[genderqueerpositivity]

CW: horror novels, surgery and medical stuff, forced birth, dysphoria

Add me to the list of folks who've already finished reading You Weren't Meant to Be Human. Two days is definitely the fastest I've been able to finish reading one of AJW's novels.

On the other hand, I have maybe 1% processed everything I just read.

I am about two weeks post-hysterectomy right now, so I strongly considered waiting a while to read this one...given the subject matter. And maybe I should have. When I tell you that this book held a mirror up to my pre-op physical dysphoria and fears of forced pregnancy while living in an abortion ban state, and my post-op complete and utter relief at having those organs (and their...possible function) outside of my body forever, I absolutely mean it.

Pregnancy and childbirth have always been a fear and a kind of body horror to me. At the same time, I'm dealing mentally and emotionally with the effects of this whole surgery experience (even though I wanted this and am happy that it's done) and the reality of this changed body of mine. When I roll over in bed or move just right, I can feel my internal organs shifting and sloshing about in ways that they weren't able to before. I have been, maybe irrationally, afraid of ripped cuff sutures and sneezing too hard now for two weeks. That's a different kind of body horror.

So reading this book right now was a lot.

I have no idea how to rate this book out of 10 or whatever; I never found that useful anyway because what someone else thinks is an 8, I might think is a 2. It was an experience. I picked it up for the autistic trans Appalachian main character and stayed because I saw reflections of my own trans experience there in a way that was unnerving.

This book is disgusting, gory, violent, absolutely nauseating, and I will definitely be reading it again at some point.

(If y'all want to read this one, tread carefully. Google the content warning list first, and assume that it's even worse than that. Oh, and there are worms. A lot of em.)

[genderqueerpositivity]

I’m so happy that you got your hysterectomy finally. I went through similar struggles getting my own hardware surgically removed a year and a half ago so reading that you’ve finally revived the care you wanted made me so incredibly happy for you and proud of you for fighting through all of the hardship it took to get it.

I’m just a stranger on the internet, but I see you and I wish you so much good luck in your life 💚

Thank you. It hasn't been easy, but it is worth it. ❤️ I'm glad that you were ultimately able to receive the care you needed too.

[genderqueerpositivity]

I feel like the post-op pathology results validated my decision to yeet both ovaries this morning.

I would've been SO pissed to go through this entire surgery and come out the other side with the source of the pain still inside of me.

I've been hearing "You could have PCOS but we didn't find any evidence of ovarian cysts on the ultrasound" since 2015.

I have been in pain much longer than that. I had a clear CT scan in, what, 2013? After which I was told by an ER doctor that there was nothing wrong with me and "Some girls just have really bad cramps with their periods". I was in so much fucking pain that I could barely stand up. That was the first, last, and only time that I bothered going to the ER for that kind of pain.

So anyway, they sent everything that got removed last week to be chopped up and examined and guess what? Hello from the cysts in my ovaries! And also hello from the cysts in the actual walls of my uterus!

Goodbye and good fucking riddance. 👍🏻

[genderqueerpositivity]

This is what? End of day 3 or beginning of day 4 post-op? I don't know. I think I may have done a little too much standing upright Sunday. I finally managed to shave and shower instead of just using wipes, and I took a couple of short walks out of the house (which involves both steps and going uphill/downhill a bit).

The cramping pain is keeping me awake even after the Tylenol/ibuprofen, but it isn't severe by any means. After debating for awhile if the pain is actually bad enough to justify taking the serious pain medication, I finally decided to just take it. Maybe it'll help me sleep too. It's not like there is an award to win for sucking it up and just dealing with it.

It's hard to believe it's September again now. I spent so much time working towards and advocating for this over the past year, and now it's done and this year is mostly over. And next month, October 26th, will be a year since I switched from topical testosterone to injections.

For most of my life, every part of this felt impossible and inaccessible to me. The idea of me pushing 5 years on testosterone and being post-op from a gender affirming surgery was something out of my wildest dreams. Things haven't gone exactly as I imagined they would by far, but maybe this is better.

I had once thought I would only stay on low dose testosterone long enough for my voice to drop and for my body to look a little more masculine, that I would reach a point when I would know that it was time to stop, but now I know I would prefer to stay on testosterone for as long as possible. I had always imagined that top surgery would be my first gender affirming surgery, but somehow pursuing the hysterectomy became much more vital to my quality of life and identity.

Top surgery. I don't know when I should begin pushing for top surgery. Or maybe it would have been smart to be working towards that at the same time as the hysterectomy? To just have taken care of everything in one calendar year and not have to worry about insurance and medical leave details for a second time later? It's too late for that now, probably.

I don't feel ready for that step yet. But I'm also aware of the risk of waiting--that, at some point, the choice may be taken away from me. I do not like the pressure of making extremely important life choices under that kind of threat. There is also the knowledge that I am not likely to have the same level or support from those around me when it comes to top surgery that I've had for the hysterectomy, which of course makes it harder to commit to working towards.

I am unsure what to do next exactly. Right now I'm just waiting for this medication to kick in enough so I can sleep without pain.

[makingqueerhistory]

“I remember when I first realized I never had to have children. It was like walking out of a narrow alley into a wide open field. I never have to get married. I never have to date anyone. I don’t even have to care about sex. These realizations were like gifts that I gave myself.” ― Maia Kobabe, Gender Queer: A Memoir (Affiliate link)

[genderqueerpositivity]

This evening has been harder. The nausea has returned a bit, but the meds are helping. I've slept a lot, and I've cried some here and there; I figure my hormone levels are shifting given I've been without ovaries for over 48 hours now. I'm also slightly paranoid about infection because I can tell my temperature is up a little bit (currently 99.9°).

I don't know. I'm just trying to get through the tough spots as best as I can.

[genderqueerpositivity]

Day two post op and pain is very minimal with only ibuprofen and acetaminophen. I was given a couple days worth of narcotic pain meds, but I just don't see those being necessary at this point. I have a slight headache, maybe a lingering side effect of all the different things they dumped into me in the hospital? I'm not sure.

My belly is definitely tender, I accidentally leaned against the bathroom counter this morning while washing my face. Big mistake.

No more gas pain in my shoulders since yesterday morning, hopefully that is in the past now. It was never unbearable, just unpleasant.

I'm glad that I bought bathing wipes, baby wipes, and dry shampoo ahead of time, because I still don't feel like I can stand up long enough for a full shower. My hair was so tangled after sleeping two nights on it unbrushed, but I got it sorted out this morning.

Was able to get all of my jewelry back in except for my 3 cartilage piercings, which are all 2+ years old. I was most worried about not being able to get my paired nostrils back in, but those were easy. I'm hoping that the three helix piercings aren't a total loss, maybe they can be tapered back open. Whenever I can drive again, a trip to my piercer is on the to-do list.

Keeping the cats and the dog off my lap has proven to be a challenge during this, they don't understand why I won't let them sit on me. They're all over the limit that I'm allowed to lift (10 pounds) and they all have claws, so definitely not happening.

Now to figure out something to eat today. It's like I don't particularly want any one thing, nothing sounds appealing. At least I haven't been nauseated anymore recently.

[genderqueerpositivity]

Every time I've gone to the bathroom since getting home, I've grabbed a small hand held mirror to look at the four little incisions on my belly, one of them inside my belly button, and still a weird purpley color from the glue used after surgery. They'll probably be mostly invisible once they've healed, they're so small. Kind of a shame they'll be invisible, because I love them.

I've wanted this done for so many years, even before I ever began identifying as trans or ever saw the word genderqueer, and it's finally done. I will never have another period. I can never get pregnant. Those organs that I spent so much time wishing I'd never had are gone. They're gone. I remember learning what a hysterectomy was at 15 years old and immediately wanting it, being relieved that there was a way to remove these things that I never wanted to exist inside of me; it may have taken until I am 33 to make it happen, but it's done and it's permanent. Irreversible is not a curse of gender affirming care, it's a gift.

[genderqueerpositivity]

I did have top surgery and I hope you don’t mind me sharing, full disclosure I’m in Canada, received it in MTL . I chose to not keep my nipples for easier recovery and cuz I fucked with the alien look. They removed all breast tissue, so I don’t have any pecs or whatever I’m just flat, and I have one scar instead of two. I also still have a bit of dog ears (? Hopefully correct term in English) under my arms but they mostly don’t bother me. I could get them removed for a fee and I’m not interested tbh. All of this might be different for everyone. I did have pain, I think for up to 2 months? In my case it was manageable. You do want to make sure you rest someplace with someone who’s reliable and willing to do your share of chores for a few weeks (you cannot do too much, raise your arms or carry something too heavy). I was staying with my sister, who isn’t, and it was hell. The surgery itself took 2 hours, and personally I was kinda up and running doing errands with my mother after (I was with her because the clinic insists you have someone picking you up post surgery), so it wasn’t nearly as defibrillating as I thought. The worst for me was the drains, they’re very common but it was the absolute worst feeling them all the time and having to sleep on my back (I’m usually a stomach sleeper), removing them was a massive relief. Thankfully my mother is a nurse so she was able to do that on her own. I was also warned I might feel some negative emotions afterwards because at the end of the day it was a loss of a part of my body and it was normal for people to grieve but nope lmao I felt like a million bucks. Obviously if I had to do it again I would. Zero regret. My back is thankful, and it was super weird? Fun? To feel the immediate difference on my back. Oh also you’re supposed to stretch said back. Of course you might bend a bit post surgery but you do need to stretch that scar babyyyyy. Last tidbit: I had said prior I didn’t want nipples but there was a miscommunication somewhere because right before the surgery we were going through everything and my mother was there. The doctor said “ok so we want a double incision with nipple reattachment” or smth like that and, again, right in front of my mom I had to say “actually I’d rather not keep them”, which she was a bit confused about Lmao.

Thanks for sharing!

I relate most to the feeling of zero regrets at the moment! Even though I didn't have the same surgery you did!

I'm feeling absolutely no grief over losing a part of my body. I'm so fucking glad those organs are gone! It's done and it's permanent! It comes in these waves of almost disbelief that this is finally real! I can actually feel the absence where everything used to be, and it's a little weird but also absolutely awesome. Good riddance lmao!!

[genderqueerpositivity]

Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing things around your top surgery. I've had a bad experience with an unrelated surgery recently and have been really doubting whether I'd be able to handle the pain and stuff after top surgery, so having an as-it-happens account of everything before and after (including that you were scared of the pain too!) has been very helpful. Thank you

I had a hysterectomy, not top surgery. Uterus, tubes, ovaries, and cervix all out! I have not had top surgery yet, so I can't comment on exactly what that is like. Actually, this was my first surgery ever, so I was definitely scared of the pain!

I have wondered myself about what top surgery might be like one day and how it will compare to this experience.

I am sorry to hear about your bad surgery experience recently; that just makes a hard situation tougher to deal with.

If anyone wants to reply to this with their top surgery recovery and pain management experiences for anon, feel free to do so!

[genderqueerpositivity]

I should update that it's done, it's over, and I was discharged a couple hours ago.

So far the pain has been quite manageable. The ride home was a little rough with the bumps and the seatbelt, but I had a pillow over my stomach to help protect it. The worst pain has been surprisingly bladder pain; when it starts to fill up, the pain gets worse. But I don't believe I have been more than a 5 today, and that was early still in recovery. Oddly a lot of the pain feels like bad period cramps...no worse than the ones I've randomly had for years pre-op. They did send me home with real pain medicine at least in case it does get worse.

Everyone was awesome both before and after the surgery. All of my questions were answered well and no one made me feel bad for being nervous. As expected, I was gendered correctly and, once I introduced myself or folks saw mychart, they used my chosen name.

During the brief time my family was there, everyone was more discreet and respectful of my wish for keeping the information that I'm on testosterone private. (I simply said that this is information I haven't shared with my family yet, and even though I don't believe it would cause any risk to my safety for them to find out, I want to do tell them on my own terms one day). They also gave me the choice to be the one to give out my room number instead of automatically telling my family where to find me, so that I could have visitors only when I was ready.

I took advantage of that. It was just more comfortable that way. I don't regret spending much of the afternoon alone but messaging everyone from my phone. Dealing with the anaesthesia side effects, doctors coming in to check incisions, and multiple painful trips to the bathroom in an open back hospital gown was much easier with some privacy.

Although, I will say there is little privacy in this process. A lot of people saw my entire ass today and the process was not dysphoria free. The dizziness from the anesthesia was so bad for the first two hours that I had to be helped to and onto the toilet. But everyone was professional about it, asked before touching me, and explained what they were going to do beforehand.

There's a bunch more, but I am sleepy now that I am in my own bed.

[genderqueerpositivity]

Now that it's past midnight, TODAY is the day.

My alarm is set to go off in less than three hours. I can't sleep. I guess I'll sleep when they knock me out in the morning. No worries about not being allowed to eat now that it's after midnight because I haven't been able to eat since Tuesday...and somehow my stomach is still threatening me.

I was still taking in plenty of liquids before midnight, so no worries there. But thanks to the anxiety, I've also peed more in the past 24 hours than ever before in a single day in my life. TMI warning.

Out of all of the fears I've had in the past few days, I'm most afraid of the pain post-op, afraid I won't be able to handle it.

There are a few hours left standing between me and this thing I've been working towards for so long. I've put so much planning into making this happen and preparing for the days after. I've spent time in therapy working out my emotions on having this done, working on self care, working on ways to cope with stress and fear and my sensory issues that will definitely pop up during this day at some point. Ways to distract myself or self soothe. Breathing exercises. Mindfulness. Journaling before and after.

It still feels like I'm not ready, but I have to do it anyway. I spent so much time before starting testosterone waiting to be ready, waiting to be certain that it was the right decision for me, waiting for the right time in my life to start, waiting for perfect support and acceptance from those around me. And I wish I hadn't waited so long. I didn't need all of those things to make what I needed to happen, happen. It felt like I wasn't ready when I did my very first dose of testosterone cream. Now that I do injections, it feels like I'm not ready every week when I do my shot. But I was ready and I am.

The only fear of regret I hold is the fear that I'll regret NOT going through with this (or, should some complication happen today, not being allowed to go through with this).

I've also had a few moments of doubt about losing both ovaries given the current political climate. But I'm tired of the pain they cause at times. And I've accepted, and keep accepting when necessary, the possibility that I may end up using estrogen replacement therapy at some point.

I'm also slightly annoyed at having to remove all of my piercings/jewelry. I immediately lost two pieces of jewelry down the sink drain, which fucking sucks. They also won't allow plastic retainers, so I'm hoping I'm able to get jewelry back in every piercing afterwards. Oh well.

But mostly I'm afraid of the pain, afraid that it will be too much for me to handle and that I'll look weak for not being able to take it. And I'm a little nervous and self conscious and dysphoric about being seen by so many people during the surgery, even if I won't remember it.

There is also the fact that I expect that my chosen name and pronouns will be respected by most everyone involved in the process, because so far most everyone has been good about that...but the family member taking me to and from this thing never uses them, though he is aware of them. I am tempted to ask that they just use my legal name when giving my family updates, but is that wise? And would they do it? I also do not want this to be the way that my family finds out I'm on testosterone...and that could happen, it's on my medication list, it'll probably be on any paperwork sent home with me afterwards.

I did not think this part though, and this week--the day of--is way too late to be thinking about it.

I am excited and relieved that today is finally here, even if I'm anxious. By this time Friday night, the most stressful parts of this should hopefully be behind me, and I can just recover.

[genderqueerpositivity]

Reading back through my posts from last year and seeing how hopeful I was at the start of the process of trying to access a gender affirming hysterectomy is definitely an emotional thing for me right now.

Because I was so optimistic that the process would be straightforward and it absolutely hasn't been.

I spent months last year on a waiting list for a trans affirming primary care doctor. I finally saw that doctor on August 6th and was immediately referred to a trans affirming gynecological surgeon, who I was not able to get a consultation with until December 30th.

So I waited until December. In December, I went through the entire process of convincing the doctor basically that the procedure is even necessary, which felt like an interview more than an appointment with a doctor.

After deciding that I performed transness to her satisfaction and after I refused an IUD, she agreed to the procedure...on her terms: I would have no say in the decision of keeping or removing my ovaries because she does not remove "healthy ovaries", period.

I did all of the pre-op testing. Went through all of the waiting and such with insurance, including the appointments for gathering the two necessary letters. Waited some more. Was finally given a May 1st surgery date...only for this to be cancelled when the surgeon announced that she would be leaving her job on the last day of April.

At that point I was referred to another doctor in a different office. I waited some more...and then got the call from the new office telling me that this second doctor wouldn't be able to see me until September, but that they could set me up an appointment with a different (third) doctor in their practice for this June.

That appointment in June went very well.

My surgery date now is August 28th, one year and three weeks after the initial referral. And fully a year and a half since I made the decision to seek this surgery.

I am finally 10 days away.

And I am literally more afraid that something will happen between now and then to prevent the surgery from going ahead than I am of the surgery itself. The cancellation back in April hit hard, and I was upset for a long time afterwards.

I signed the consent paperwork last week. If all goes as planned, I am only days away from seeing the effort I put into making this happen pay off.

I'll be having everything out, my ovaries out too. That is what I originally wanted. Honestly, I've had trouble with the decision since that first consultation in December, where I was told that removing my ovaries could shorten my life by nine years...which would probably scare anyone. After reading a couple of studies myself and talking it out with my surgeon, primary care doctor, and therapist, I've decided to go ahead with having them removed. I've accepted the risks and the possible consequences (a scary one for me possibly being having to take estrogen HRT for a couple of decades if I can't continue testosterone).

Even though the waiting has been frustrating, I'm kind of glad that it worked out like this. Officially, this surgery is for dysmenorrhea and chronic pelvic pain, just as much as it is for gender dysphoria. Just having someone see that and understand how much of an impact it's had on my life is huge.

I'm looking forward to living without the pain I have been forced to accept as normal for so many years. I'll be free of the cyclical "phantom period" symptoms and occasional rare breakthrough bleeding I've been forced to deal with even after years of testosterone therapy. If I lose legal access to my testosterone, I won't have to go back to the full nightmare periods I used to have before (I think my record was something like 42 days long once). As an added benefit, it's also permanent sterilization--no more fear of pregnancy ever. No ovaries, no uterus, no problem.

10 days to go.