Jean-Andoche Junot

La Tempête! ( this is a joke rp account run by @miffy-junot)

[general-junot]

Bonjour everyone!

C'est moi, General Jean-Andoche Junot of La Grande Armée.

I used to be one of Napoleon's most loyal generals, but my tempestuous way of living led me to a slow, painful fall from grace. After two decades of devoted service I was relieved of my position in 1813, and sent to my father's house, where I took my own life.

Somehow, I appear to have arrived in a strange afterlife where I am asked constant questions by a sea of anonymous faces...

(this is a joke rp blog run by @miffy-junot. please remember that this blog is for comedy purposes and is not an accurate representation in any way of the real historical General Junot!)

[general-junot]

Why is it always JuNOT And never JuIS 😭😭😭😢😢

JuIS not ok

JuNOT alright 😭

JuIS happy somebody cares about him 🥰

[teenpoleon]

ugly ass gingers istg.

[general-junot]

😢

[teenpoleon]

not my fault you ugly🙄

[general-junot]

not my fault you so insecure about your own looks you take it out on me 🙄

[teenpoleon]

Napoleon, do check on junot. And for gods sake, check for stds. Junot has syphilis. That’s partially why he’s gone insane. Don’t let him near balconies, PLEASE. All the best- Cherie.

WHAT???? JUNOT'S ILL???? FUCK i mean. eh yeah i'll check on him sometime....... yea........ JUNOT OH SHIT FUCK I HAVE TO SEE HIM RIGHT NOW. GET ME JEAN ANDOCHE JUNOT RIGHT NOW

[general-junot]

ummm EXCUSE ME that is a SLANDER AGAINST MY GOOD NAME!!!!!!!! probably made up by that baboon-bottomed Murat because he’s so jealous of my hotness ugh 😤

My head is bleeding but that doesn’t matter, my private parts are healthy and ready for action 😌

[teenpoleon]

@general-junot

fuuuuck i need him I MEAN ew get tf away from me ewww

[general-junot]

I need you too babygirl 🥺

[teenpoleon]

are you okay. like are you feeling okay NOT LIKE IM WORRIED OR ANYTHING im just asking to.... yk make sure you're fit for battle....

[general-junot]

I’m lowkey going insane teehee 🤪

[teenpoleon]

do i need to pay you a visit. FOR MILITARY PURPOSES OF COURSE

[general-junot]

yes pleeeeeease 🥰😏

[teenpoleon]

ugly ass gingers istg.

[general-junot]

😢

[general-junot]

i hate you so much. i literally only keep you around bcz youre useful to the army. like other than that no one wants your crusty ass🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

with much love

with as much hatred as humanly divinely possible,

teenpoleon bonaparte xxxxx

je t’aime 🥺

well then if you really hate me I suppose I’ll just die, bye bye!

[teenpoleon]

@general-junot

fuuuuck i need him I MEAN ew get tf away from me ewww

[general-junot]

I need you too babygirl 🥺

[teenpoleon]

are you okay. like are you feeling okay NOT LIKE IM WORRIED OR ANYTHING im just asking to.... yk make sure you're fit for battle....

[general-junot]

I’m lowkey going insane teehee 🤪

[general-junot]

y is everyone so mean 2 me 😢

[teenpoleon]

bcz you deserve it🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[general-junot]

AHEM EXCUSE ME

[teenpoleon]

fuck i actually love junot oh my god OH MY GOD

[general-junot]

printing this out and sticking it to the wall so you can’t gaslight me anymore 😠

[teenpoleon]

@general-junot

fuuuuck i need him I MEAN ew get tf away from me ewww

[general-junot]

I need you too babygirl 🥺

[general-junot]

Monsieur, I’ve got a napoleonberry jar imported straight from Corsica, I’ll share one with you. Here catch! *tosses a little round Napoleonberry into the air like one would to a dog*

Napoleonberries… nom nom nom nom nom nom 🤤

[general-junot]

someone pls feed me a napoleonberry

[general-junot]

🙂‍↕️🙏

can you guess which evil twink this is about?

[busket]

daily affirmations

I am the best person

I am the best at being a person

I am unkillable

I am good at everything

I am protected by divine forces and I am their favorite

I'm cute

[rowanisawriter]

being insane isnt even that bad

[general-junot]

I’m literally so nice