GENTLEMAN SLEUTH.

and yet, be it cruel or comforting, this machine unerringly arrives at the truth.

[gentsleuth-arch]

                                                                𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂                                   𝙸𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚗𝚘 𝚍𝚊𝚖𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚎. 𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚖𝚎, 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑.

heavily canon-divergent  adaptation of  𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐈𝐓 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂,  originally seen in 𝐾𝑁𝐼𝑉𝐸𝑆 𝑂𝑈𝑇. much like the source material, this blog will be campy and murderous.  an investigation of investigations. a tour de force of pastry-inspired monologues. a place where an immortal detective can thrive.  [ ON MEMES:  feel free to send them at any time! it's the best way to start interactions with me.  ]  affiliated with @damecrime​.

ACTIVITY NOTICE :  this blog is  low activity,  meaning replies will be sporadic.  it will be running on a queue for the most part.  i may also take longer getting to private messages. 

                         SLIDES    •    WIKI PAGE   •   SIDEBLOG   •  MEMES

[mancandykings]

OSCAR ISAAC ‘The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window’ Trailer (From Feb 4 @ BAM, NYC)

[gentsleuth-arch]

my lawyer when i go to court against r/ian john/son: your honor, my client made benoit bl/anc silly FIRST-

[gentsleuth-arch]

BRRR??????????

[gentsleuth-arch]

hey, y'all! haven't really had any time to be here so i'm officially putting this blog on hiatus until further notice. y'all can still reach me on disco and if u wanna talk or write on there i will probably be more likely to be active but tumblr has truly fallen off as a priority for me rn as i've been left with no time to dedicate to it. hope you all have a great time here and we get to write some more when i come back! wishing everyone the best <3 

[bypr0xy-deactivated20240101]

#𝙗𝙮𝙥𝙧0𝙭𝙮     an  original  character  based  in  original  lore.   plot-centric   &  au  friendly.   beloved  by  alex/lea,   she/they,   24.

[gentsleuth-arch]

cl2ire​,   claire.

THIS   IS   A   PHASE   1   REAL   WORLD.   ASSET   ( #SEXUAL TENSION PROMPTS )   IS   OUT   OF   CONTAINMENT.      ENLISTING   IN   @gentsleuth​‘s   EXPERTISE …      “[ behind ] : unexpectedly, sender arrives close to receiver from behind, taking them by surprise.”

SCHEDULE FULL,      COLOUR CODED,      ARRANGED WITH THE PRECISION OF A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS.      NOTHING CAN FALL SHORT,      RUN TOO LONG.      * there is simply no room for surprise in this life of mine.      she thinks if each second that passes has meaning then maybe,      just maybe she will too.      i   should   have   seen   you   coming   from   a   mile   away.      always there when least expected.      she wishes she could live in the way that he does.      one breath   /   two breaths   /   three breaths.      not counting the seconds it takes for one to expel and the next to fill her lungs.      (DID SHE PENCIL THAT IN?)      minor detail.      but this party?      this party is major,      and   that’s   the   only   reason   she’s   attending.      fingers glide across her phone screen,      swiping away notification after notification.      the emails keep piling up.      only a few more hours before she can respond to them.      claire possesses half the mind to find an excuse,      any excuse,      that’ll wind her back in her office with a glass of champagne instead of in a room brimming with …      encompassing every intention of leaving,      she turns on her heel——      you.

❝   benoit -   ❞      his name leaves her lips in a soft gasp.      between their bodies her hand raises to steady herself on his chest.      ❝   what …   ❞      i’ve never been good at faking the obvious.      the air nearly stopped in my lungs.      it shows on my face.      call it surprise   /   call it the scent of his cologne.      ❝   what are you doing here?   ❞

IMPECCABLE ATTIRE,  planned down to the cufflinks and the socks he wears, for  appearances  were held at his  highest regard.  benoit blanc is no strange to  galas,  one could say he  thrived  in them.  precisely the kind of environment where he could shine:  among those who had no need for depth in their companions but had  everything  to hide behind calculated smiles and ill-measured sips of champagne.  this is a room of people he can easily manipulate. 

he loves it. 

sauntering his way across,  he is in search of a  victim.  someone to study,  to log into his archives,  someone of no consequence    –    instead,  he spots an unmistakable red of red hair that catches his eye and causes his lips to upturn into a smirk.  his direction changes along with his motives,  he makes his way to  CLAIRE DEARING  instead,  and surprises her by whispering a  hello  behind her ear.  the collision does not shock him  ;  he is quite prepared for it,  and all the smugger when their gazes (  and bodies  )  connect.    ❝  claire.  i hope i didn’t throw you off your balance.  ❞   offers the detective,  kind enough to reach out and touch her arms gently   –   just enough to steady her.   ❝  i heard the drinks were free.  what about you?  ❞   not waiting for a reply,  mischief touches his lips.   ❝  i must say  –  you look ravishing.  i hope you're not too desperate to get back to work into the night.  would be a shame if we didn't dance.  ❞

[gentsleuth-arch]

did you know the next benoit b/lanc adventure is gonna be on a greek island??? 

[dua-source]

Dua Lipa with Oscar Isaac at the Clooney Foundation for Justice Inaugural Albie Awards

[kents-clark]

“I know when I first read the script and I got to the end I was so overcome with emotion because it had a finality to it. Which is just hard to imagine that Star Wars could ever have that. I think one of the most amazing things from the Star Wars universe and what George Lucas did from the very get-go is make it feel like there was so much story happening outside of the one you were watching. Every prop, every character felt like it had its own long history and we were just getting to see a glimpse."  –– OSCAR ISAAC ON CONCLUDING THE SKYWALKER SAGA 

[gentsleuth-arch]

oncehadalove​,  lorelai.

lorelai sat up straighter, “a smear campaign?” she repeated, with only a hint of excitement. could she be blamed for finding a little bit of joy in taylor being taken down a peg? there were only so many made-up zoning laws a girl could take. “is someone taking minutes here? i feel like i’m gonna need credit for at least the rhyme!” her eyes scanned the very much empty (albeit for their scheming) room. 

“are we talking billboards or flyers, ‘cause i have this really great picture of taylor at the firelight festival last year where it looks like steam is literally coming out of his ears. i honestly think it was real, we might not even need photoshop.” her eyes positively glowed with anticipation. “i’m pretty sure your guy is working for the other guy too. so much for not picking sides.” as if she wasn’t also playing a game of pseudo-switzerland.  

a smirk lights up his features just as well,  finding kinship in the mischief that shines in her.  ❝  exactly.  ❞   oh,  how lovely it was to find someone to scheme with. and to steal ideas from.  benoit waves a dismissive hand then,  head shaking.   ❝  you threw away a random thought and i made it into a  real plan.  it hardly calls for credit.  ❞  a pause,  where the (former) detective looks over his shoulder and around the empty room.  ❝  i did have a guy on minutes though … ❞   also rory.  where was that girl? 

❝  i’d need to evaluate it myself,  i don’t know if that’s the angle we should go for.  steam from his ears doesn’t exactly scream floozy,  does it?  i was thinking more along the lines of putting him in slutty clothes.  ❞   how that would look,  he hadn’t thought too much ahead to regret the sight yet.  ❝  wait, what?  she is?   is  that  where she’s at right now? she’s meant to be taking our minutes!  ❞   he shifts in his seat,  putting aside his paperwork and assuming the concerned expression of a teacher talking to a parent.   ❝  look, lorelai, i don’t think rory is pulling her weight with this internship.  i won’t lie to you   –   she’s in risk of getting fired.  ❞       

[gentsleuth-arch]

oncehadalove​,   miriam.

midge peers over his shoulder at the ingredients waiting to be moulded together, head tilted slightly. “i never understood how they do that,” she muses. “three hundred and four on a good day. come on, you’ve gotta have something! i’ll even just… stand in the corner and take notes. clues, that’s what you’re always looking for, right?” her palms press against the counter, her confidence waning. she’s never really struggled so much to find her place. she’s always seemed to fall into the next thing - even when gracelessly, she found success. that didn’t seem possible here… without his help.

suddenly, a wide grin materialises on her face. “i don’t know, benny. is that what i’m insinuating? it might be. my soulmate would never let me tag along on his adventures willingly-”

he is just short of growling as his space is invaded by the nosy comedian peering over his shoulder,  but settles for one baleful glare before readjusting and blocking her way with his shoulder all the more as he moulds the dough.   a scoff breaks through,  soon turning into a brief laugh.   ❝  you think  you  can stand back and take notes?  you can’t even sit st––  ❞   reproach comes back as his gaze shifts to her splayed hands.   ❝  you’re in my space,  miriam.  ❞   rule number one of the blanc household:  stay  out of the way  while he’s cooking. 

the thought does not sit well with him.  he can feel a heat wave crawling up his body at it,  and it makes him mould the pasta all the harder  –  less gentle than recommended,  to be sure.   ❝  i see what you’re doing.  ❞    he only brings it up for the record, for her obvious strategy was not only obvious    –   it was effective.   pasta handling comes to a halt,  his tense jaw finding relief as he sighs in exasperation.  ❝  i have a new case.  art theft at this gallery in brooklyn.  not my preferred type, of course, but it will be low stakes enough to bring you into the fold.  ❞   a pause, he licks his lips and cants his head to the side  -  defeated,  but dignified.  mostly defeated.   ❝  that enough to make you  stop nagging me  to take you on a case, miriam?   ❞ 

[gentsleuth-arch]

oncehadalove​,  lorelai.

@gentsleuth → benoit & lorelai

“blanc to blanc. as memorable as cheek to cheek. for people who can’t read. or see. or hear.” lorelai paused, hands outstretcher slightly as if waiting for a reaction to some sort of grand magic trick. but no sooner had she presented her slogan idea, were her shoulders slumping back over her (notably empty) notebook. “have you considered changing your name? something punnier. i mean, you’re up against that’s a doose-y. you could be that’s a… flooz-y?” she dramatically slapped her pen against the page. “a winner. my job’s done.”

this is the moment where benoit questions his choice of having chosen her to run his campaign   –   had he chosen her?  or was this one of those things where she made him think he had,  but it had been her plan all along to take over?  no matter.  –   as he stares impassively at the woman with outstretched arms and a slogan that just wasn’t landing.  he simply shakes his head once.  it’s not the first time he’s done that today.  

before he can return to going over his notes, she says something that catches his attention and he promptly snaps his gaze right up, pen in his hand pointing towards her.   ❝  we could  smear  him.  doosey is a floozy! we’d need to photoshop some stuff for that to really fly, but i got a guy.  ❞   the guy was rory,  he had high hopes for the youth and their computers.  ❝  god,  i'm good at this.  ❞ 

[gentsleuth-arch]

oncehadalove​,   rug girl.

“not the rug. the… essence of the rug. what is represents,” midge refuted. a moment passed before she sat up properly and pulled her knees up to her chest. for the first time in her life, her hair was unkempt and her face makeup-free. not that it was an explicit choice, but she didn’t understand what had become of her beloved cosmetics counter. the women who ran them were… icy. in a different way. they weren’t just distracted by your problematic zits, put those of a stranger trapped in their mobile phones. odd. “maybe it was my destiny to find you. not erotically. soulfully. spiritually.” she threw open her arms as if it would make her points any clearer, hair falling into her eyes before she clambered to her feet. “have you found any jobs i can come with you on?” 

silence befalls him, the time-sensitive activity of making his pasta suddenly put on hold as he must give miriam the full extent of his exasperated stare.   ❝  the essence  …   of the rug.  ❞   he repeats.  coldly,  definitely bordering on mocking.  it did not escape him that her words held a plethora of different meanings,  yet he didn’t find himself all too willing to take a guess at them.  blinking at her like she had grown a second head was easier and,  frankly,  more amusing.   

passiveness leaves him all too quickly, giving way to a scrunched up nose at the words  not erotically.   somehow,  it got worse from there.  benoit shakes his head,  attention deviating to the egg he carefully cracks at the heart of his mount.   ❝  afraid i’m not very spiritual,  but i won’t take it away from you.   ❞   a sigh,  then he turns his attention back to her.   ❝  no,  i have not yet found a job that requires someone who can pump out three hundred words a minute.  ❞   he had,  actually,  but didn’t feel like indulging her too much in one go.    ❝  just to be clear  :  you are not saying we are  soulmates,  are you?  ❞   from his tone alone,  you could see he thought the notion in itself  ridiculous.  

[gentsleuth-arch]

oncehadalove​,   toto.

@gentsleuth → a gentleman and his stray dog 

“do you believe in destiny?” midge mused from the couch. lying on her back, one arm hanging off the side, fingers running through the rug. since discovering sweatpants, this was her default position. at last, she turned onto her stomach and looked up to see where benoit was. for all she knew, she could be talking to air. “i think this is my destiny.” 

busying himself with preparing dinner, as one does when one is precious enough about the quality of one’s meals to start the process all of  four hours  before it was suitable dinner time,  he nearly misses her comments.  at this point,  midge’s voice was akin to white noise:  constant and inconsequential.   ❝  no.  ❞   he replies absent-mindedly, more concerned with perfecting the flour volcano he was about to place an egg into.   but he catches the phrase that comes next with confusion,  prompting the chef to look up from his counter and quirk up an eyebrow at the woman who seems enamored with his rug.   ❝  my rug is your destiny?  ❞   his gaze becomes analytical then,  taking in the state of her while on his  immaculate  white rug.   ❝  i hope you’re  clean  while soaking in on your destiny,  midge.  you cannot afford the dry-cleaning for it.  ❞  

[promptfairy]

❥     𝟖𝟎𝐬 𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐒    [   𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂    ]   .

sentence starters inspired by various lyrics from random hits from the 1980s !!   some lyrics have been slightly modified to be more usable .  change gendered language   &   add context to your needs .  happy roleplaying !!  ♡

“   something’s  buggin’  me .   ” “   something  ain’t  right .   ” “   my  best  friend  told  me  what  you  did  last  night .   ” “   i  should  have  been  with  you  instead .   ” “   wake  me  up  before  you  go .   ” “   i’m  not  planning  on  going  solo .   ” “   take  me  dancing  tonight .   ” “   you’re  my  lady ,   i’m  your  fool .   ” “   it  makes  me  crazy  when  you  act  so  cruel .   ” “   come on ,  baby .   let’s  not  fight .   ” “   we’ll  go  dancing   &   everything  will  be  alright .   ” “   we’ll  go  dancing  tomorrow  night .   ” “   it’s  cold  out  there ,   but  it’s  warm  in  bed .   ” “   don’t  look  at  it  like  it’s  forever .   ” “   i  guess  that’s  why  they  call  it  the  blues .   ” “   time  on  my  hands  could  be  time  spent  with  you .   ” “   picture  my  face  in  your  hands .   ” “   live  for  each  second  without  hesitation .   ” “   never  forget  i’m  your  man .   ” “   cry  in  the  night  if  it  helps .   ” “   i  simply  love  you  more  than  i  love  life  itself .   ” “   some  boys  kiss  me ,   some  boys  hug  me ,   i  think  they’re  okay .   ” “   the  boy  with  the  cold  hard  cash  is  always  mister  right .   ” “   you  know  that  we  are  living  in  a  material  world .   ” “   i  am  a  material  girl .   ” “   boys  may  come   &   boys  may  go .   ” “   experience  has  made  me  rich   &   now  they’re  after  me .   ” “   opposites  attract .   ” “   you  must  try  to  ignore  that  it  means  more  than  that .   ” “   what’s  love  got  to  do  with  it ??   ” “   who  needs  a  heart  when  a  heart  can  be  broken ??   ” “   it  scares  me  to  feel  this  way .   ” “   there’s  still  enough  time  to  figure  out  how  to  chase  my  blues  away .   ” “   i’ve  done  alright  up  ‘til  now .   ” “   i  wanna  dance  with  somebody  who  loves  me .   ” “   i’ve  been  in  love   &   lost  my  senses .   ” “   sooner  or  later ,   the  fever  ends ,   and  i  wind  up  feeling  down .   ” “   when  the  night  falls ,   my  lonely  heart  calls .   ” “   don’t  you  wanna  dance ??   ” “   i’m  sick   &   tired  of  everything .   ” “   all  i  do  is  eat   &   sleep   &   sing .   ” “   there  are  moments  when  i  think  i’m  going  crazy .   ” “   the  sight  of  you  will  prove  to  me  i’m  still  alive .   ” “   some  boys  take  a  beautiful  girl   &   hide  her  away  from  the  rest  of  the  world .   ” “   i  wanna  be  the  one  to  walk  in  the  sun .   ” “   you  could  never  know  what  it’s  like .   ” “   there’s  a cold   &   lonely  light  that  shines  from  you .   ” “   you’ll  wind  up  like  the  wreck  you  hide  behind  that  mask  you  use .   ” “   did  you  think  this  fool  could  never  win ??   ” “   i’m  still  standing  after  all  this  time .   ” “   i’m  picking  up  the  pieces  of  my  life  without  you  on  my  mind .   ” “   i’m  still  standing .   ” “   if  our  love  was  just  a  circus ,  you’d  be  a  clown  by  now .   ” “   heaven  is  a  place  on  earth .   ” “   they  say  in  heaven ,   love  comes  first .   ” “   we’ll  make  heaven  a  place  on  earth .   ” “   in  this  world ,   we’re  just  beginning  to  understand  the  miracle  of  living .   ” “   i  was  afraid  before ,   but  i’m  not  afraid  anymore .   ” “   when  you  dance ,  there’s  a  magic  that  must  be  love .   ” “   i’ll  be  coming  for  your  love ,   okay ??   ” “   i’ll  be  gone  in  a  day  or  two .   ” “   i’m  slowly  learning  that  life  is  okay  ??   ” “   it’s  no  better  to  be  safe  than  sorry .   ” “   you’re  all  the  things  i’ve  got  to  remember .   ” “   you’re  shying  away .   ” “   i’ll  be  coming  for  you ,   anyway .   ” “   sweet  dreams  are  made  of  this .   ” “   who  am  i  to  disagree  ??   ” “   everybody’s  looking  for  something .   ” “   keep  your  head  up .   ” “   it’s  gonna  take  a  lot  to  drag  me  away  from  you .   ” “   there’s  nothing  that  a  hundred  men  or  more  could  ever  do .   ” “   i  seek  to  cure  what’s  deep  inside .   ” “   i’m  frightened  of  this  thing  that  i’ve  become .   ” “   some  are  born  to  sing  the  blues .   ” “   sometimes  i  feel  i’ve  got  to  run away .   ” “   the  love  we  share  seems  to  go  nowhere .   ” “   once  i  ran  to  you .   now ,   i’ll  run  from  you .   ” “   you  need  someone  to  hold  you  tight .   ” “   don’t  touch  me ,   please .   ” “   i  love  you ,   though  you  hurt  me  so .   ” “   i  just  want  to  tell  you  how  i’m  feeling .   ” “   we’ve  known  each  other  for  so  long .   ” “   your  heart’s  been  aching ,   but  you’re  too  shy  to  say it .   ” “   you’re  turning  heads .   ” “   anything  you  wear  looks  good  on  you  especially .   ” “   there’s  nothing  i  can  tell  you  that  you  haven’t  already  heard  a  half  a million times ,   but  still ,   i’d  like  to  say  you  wear  it  well .  ” “   they  can’t  compete  with  you .   ” “   you’re  more  than  just  a  pretty  face .   ” “   you’ve  got  exactly  what  it  takes .   ” “   can  you  feel  it ,   too ??   ” “   i  toss   &   turn  in  my  bed  in  the  morning  when  i  think  about  you .   ” “   i  attempt  to  look  my  best  for  you .   ” “   you  sure  are  sweet .   ” “   would  you  mind  if  i  had  a  little  bit  more  of  your  time ??  ” “   just  keep  doing  what  you  do .   ”

[gentsleuth-arch]

actually have a day off tomorrow so send some memes?