Pretentiously Genuine

Mariel. Young. BFA Creative Writing. Welcome to my blog!

[genuinepretension]

10 Things I Learned from 2014

1. Love doesn't give you permission to lie, cheat, or betray. Love is never reasonable. So don't make it a reason.

2. Stop stopping yourself. Stop making excuses and just go for what you want.

3. Certain people can be the worst of your vices.

4. You're gonna want to jump headfirst into the first bit of affection you are given... Don't.

5. Know when to let go. It's a useful skill.

6. Life's much too short not to fuck up.

7. Don't let good things stand in the way of the best thing.

8. Don't question something that's going well...

9. ...deal with the consequences when  if they appear.

10. Chances are fleeting. Go for it.

Happy 2015, everybody!

[genuinepretension]

700km or 2m

(Photo from Inah Maravilla's Girls II collection)

Missing someone far away is kind of really shitty.

Missing someone far away is kind of really shitty because you just want to breathe in their all-too familiar scent and hug them really tight until you complain about how strong they are and lie down with them under the stars and talk for hours while playing with their fingers the way you used to until 2am and they’d fall asleep with their head on your lap and their arms tangled with yours.

Missing someone far away is kind of really shitty because you realize you don’t exactly remember just where you could reach when you hugged them, that you’re beginning to forget what their voice sounded like when the heaviness of sleep crawled into the crevices between each word.

Missing someone far away is kind of really shitty because you just want to feel their presence but you can’t because there’s a great big sucky thing called physical distance in the way.

But you know what’s even shittier?

Missing someone that’s right in front of you.

Because you just want to feel their presence, but there’s no great big sucky thing called physical distance to blame.

[genuinepretension]

Substance Abuse

Part your lips. Wider than that. Wider. Mold them gently around this cigarette. Feel the weight against your lips. Roll it. Feel it. Light it. See the sparks. The embers. The minuscule blazing wildfire at the very tip of your fingers. Close your eyes. Inhale. Feel it in the back of your throat. Deeper. Deeper. Hold it.

Release. In a soft sigh. In a deep, drawn-out moan. Feel the rush of air escape your lips. See tendrils of pale, ghostly smoke reach up like fingers searching for star-sprinkled skin to grasp. Eyes open. Heavy-lidded. Glassy. Glazed over. Lustful.

Lick your lips. Savor every last taste, the lingering flavor on the wetness of your mouth. Take the cigarette. Play with it. Run your fingers across its edges. Along its length. Feel how delicate. How soft. How fragile.

Drop the cigarette. Crush it underfoot. Leave it simmering on the sidewalk.

Worthless.

Part your lips. Wider than that. Wider. Mold them gently around mine.

[genuinepretension]

Imagine a sea of fists raised to the sky, all pumping as one, together, the entire crowd like a massive heartbeat, keeping us all alive. Lights flash and confetti falls, like multicolored rain in a multicolored thunderstrom, and every now and then, a beach ball makes its way into the chaos and finds itself up in the air again and again and again. People run in circles, people shout and jump and run, run, run, feeling nothing but free and alive and happy. People fall. Strangers bend down to pick strangers up. Nothing matters. Nothing matters but you, the music, and all the strangers there who live on the very same thing that runs through your veins.

This is what I live for.

[genuinepretension]

Masskara 2014

Bacolod's Masskara festival is just one massive "fuck it" moment. Sweaty arms thrown up in the air, beer spilling all over your shirt, the atmosphere alive with adrenaline and shouts of ecstasy, getting lost in a sea of people just as lost as you are, holding hands to get through the crowds, doing things you'd never dream of doing on any other day... It's quite the experience. A++.

[genuinepretension]

My Pursuit of Happiness: Part 1

Hey y'all! How's everyone been doing?

As for me, I'm currently in the midst of my university's finals week, stressed out of my mind, with a huge pile of incredibly difficult and time-consuming things to do.

So, naturally, I wrote a happy list instead of doing them!

Basically, this is a list of small, random things that can instantly brighten my day, even when it's hell week and everything is shitty. Hopefully, some of them brighten yours, too:

The Captain Planet theme song. Never fails.

Philosophical questions written in strange places

Ed Sheeran dancing in the Thinking Out Loud music video.

Cuddling.

How To Train Your Dragon 2.

Hanging out on rooftops with acoustic guitars and good company.

Masskara Festival 2014 is so close!

My favorite hero, Nightwing!

There you go! Eight things that made me smile today despite all the stress of finals week. Hope you guys are finding reasons to smile everyday! :)

[genuinepretension]

Nothing better than an oversized band shirt and a cap on days when you just don't feel like giving a shit.

Shameless plugging: You can follow me on Twitter and Instagram!

[genuinepretension]

Can I ask what happened during your longboarding accident?

Long story short, I was longboarding and shit happened. Hahaha! 

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So today, I’ve officially grown a year older, but everything still tastes the same. As my birthday treat to you all, I’m going to share with you a mix I made for those days when you’re intent on getting out of that down mood you’ve been in! There’s only one requirement for listening to this mix: SHAMELESS DANCE PARTY.

Here you go!

Helium Balloons

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Free Hugs!

So a couple of days back, Ateneo PEERs held Suicide Prevention Week in school, and, with my best friend being a member, I got to help out by walking around campus offering free hugs!

Walking around shouting "Free hugs!" was a little nerve-wracking, to be honest. There was the constant fear of rejection or judgement. Maybe nobody wanted a hug. Maybe I was making a fool of myself.

However, all those worries melted away as soon as the first hugger asked for one.

I can't even begin to explain the feeling in words that would accurately capture how nice it was. It made warmth spread somewhere in the crevices between my lungs, and I found myself unable to stop a beaming grin. It felt good, giving a stranger a nice little embrace, a brief, fleeting feeling of safety and joy, if for only a moment.

Another great thing about it was that I could draw warmth and safety and joy from the hugs as well, and I kind of think I needed them more than they did, hahaha!

It was seriously one of the best experiences I've ever had, if you can't tell from the massive smile on my face in ever single one of these pictures. Thank you for the experience, Ateneo PEERs, and on top of all of that, thank you for spearheading a life-changing, life-saving awareness campaign that could mean the world to someone!

Till next time!

[genuinepretension]

Hi there! It’s 4:09am, I can’t seem to fall asleep, and I have a 7am PE class first thing later! So, naturally, I decide to make my first blog post.

To get to know me better, here are ten hopefully interesting facts about me: 1. I am deathly terrified of lightning and thunder. 2. I have once tried to find out how many sniffs of a Pentel Pen would get you high. I called it an investigatory project.  3. Do NOT take me on movie dates unless you want an endless stream of trying-hard-to-be-witty side comments. 4. I have three weird scars on my right knee and ankle due to a long boarding accident that happened years ago. 5. My favorite word is “facetious,” because all five vowels appear in it once and in alphabetical order. 6. I have had nine different hairstyles in the past five years. 7. I have a bad habit of buying friends nearly anything they want when I’m tipsy.  8. My dimples are oddly misplaced. 9. My favorite color is pale gray I don’t understand how people could think it’s dull it’s such a gorgeous color huhu 10. My motto is, “When you’re not writing, do something worth writing about.”