the remus love runs deep

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[georgie-weasley]

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-About Me: Bee, she/her, 27, Slytherin, Capricorn sun, Aries moon, slow writer

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[colouredbyd]

made from man’s rib

remus lupin x reader (7.3k)

summary: the wizarding world still refuses to accept werewolves, and despite all its magical advancements, lycanthropy remains barely understood. one thing, however, is certain: there is no cure for it.

— after years of loving remus and navigating his condition together, you’ve come to terms with it. he trusts you, but the one thing he keeps to himself is that he’s getting much worse.

tags: struggles of chronic illness, hurt/comfort, lycanthropy, deteriorating health, remus' pov (therefore lots of self loathing), post-hogwarts, established relationship, isolation, transformation aftermath, implied sucidal ideation (very brief like u need to squint to see it), background drarry, happy and hopeful ending ofc.

─── ⋆⋅ ⏾⋅⋆ ───

Truth was, no matter how many full moons Remus went through with you, you never seemed fully prepared for what they entailed. 

Every transformation arrived with its own particular cruelty, never quite repeating the last, as though the curse itself delighted in refining its brutality, shaping new ways to make him endure and then remember that endurance meant nothing at all.

You had learned how to brew Wolfsbane potion long after graduating Hogwarts and during the first wizarding war. Life outside its walls had offered a fragile kind of privacy, a quieter place where Remus no longer had to vanish in order to transform. 

Yet even that careful structure, built painstakingly between the two of you, had begun to feel increasingly insufficient, as though time itself were eroding whatever small mercy you had managed to construct.

The potion still did its work in the most technical sense. It kept the wolf from fully claiming his mind, from tearing away whatever fragment of recognition remained at the height of it. But it did nothing for the body. 

By morning, there was always blood seeping through his wounds to the point where recovery no longer felt like healing, only preparing himself to endure it all again next month. 

And over the years, that pattern had not lessened. It had only intensified.

It had begun to feel, in a way neither of you spoke aloud, as though the more he endured it, the more it demanded in return. Healing took longer. Recovery left deeper scars. 

Remus understood, that none of this came from a lack of effort on your part. You had been meticulous in your care, learning the potion and refining it until it reached a consistency that could be trusted. 

You prepared for each moon days in advance, arranging everything with precision. You stayed with him through the transformations in your Animagus form, close enough that he would not wake up alone.

Afterward, you remained without needing to be asked. You tended to him through the days that followed with attentiveness. You even made sure his wounds were cleaned and treated, his potions brewed and adjusted as needed, and every small change in his condition was observed with care.

It was not that your efforts fell short. It was that the situation itself had begun to exceed what care alone could contain.

There were moments, when Remus found himself entertaining thoughts he disliked almost immediately. 

The idea that perhaps it would be easier if the Wolfsbane failed entirely, if there were no partial awareness left to endure, no memory of what had happened after each transformation. The thought never lasted long enough to settle into anything resembling desire, because even in its most detached form it carried consequences that were impossible to ignore.

Especially for you.

So he kept it contained, as he did most things that felt heavy to speak of outloud.

Later, after another full moon, the flat carries the faint, lingering scent of iron and crushed herbs that no amount of cleaning removes. You find Remus curled beneath several layers of blankets, his body drawn inward in a way that suggests he’s in pain more than usual. 

The light coming through the window makes his condition easier to read than he would prefer; bruising spreads across his skin in uneven patches, some fading while others remain dark enough to look fresh, and overlapping scars trace older patterns beneath newer damage. 

Even the freckles you once pointed out to him at Hogwarts, tracing them across his shoulders with fondness, have begun to disappear into the accumulation of all his recent scars

You step closer without hesitation. “Remus,” you murmur, voice softened as you crouch beside him. “Are you sure a heating charm won’t help? It might lessen the bone aches, love.”

He exhales through his nose, and shifts slightly beneath the blankets. “I’m alright,” he says.

You spend the rest of the night tending to Remus, cleaning blood from his split skin and binding clawed-open scratches while dark bruises bloom violently across his body beneath your healing charms. 

By the time you manage to feed him a few spoonfuls of soup, exhaustion has already begun dragging him under completely.

He feels a little better, or at least better enough to convince you that sleep will handle the rest. That has always been the hope after transformations. A good night’s sleep. A few days of recovery. Another potion. Another full moon survived.

The night ends with you fluffing the blankets securely around him before climbing into bed beside him yourself, exhaustion pulling you under quickly enough that you fall asleep believing Remus has done the same. 

Remus spends the entire night awake, silently crying in pain.

He knows everything that used to work does not anymore when it comes to easing it. The truth is one cruel, harsh thing: he is getting worse.

And if you do not notice the tear tracks left across his pillow the next morning, well, you remain none the wiser.

─── ⋆⋅ ⏾⋅⋆ ───

During their years at Hogwarts, Remus had gone through every full moon with the help of James, Sirius, and Peter.

Though that had been a lifetime ago now.

Back then, before the war took James and Lily, before Sirius was imprisoned for murdering Peter, things had been simpler. Not easy, but simpler in a way Remus found himself aching for more often lately. 

The full moons had still been painful then. He remembered far too many important moments spent curled up in bed in the boys’ dormitory or recovering beneath the sharp medicinal smell of the Hospital Wing while Madam Pomfrey fussed over injuries that never seemed to shock her anymore. 

The slow splitting of bone beneath his skin, the horrifying stretch of transformation, the knowledge that society viewed creatures like him as dangerous and unworthy; none of that was new.

One thing had been different, though.

The pain had been less.

The irony of it almost made him laugh sometimes, because if someone had told seventeen-year-old Remus Lupin that the transformations would someday become worse, that his body would continue finding newer and more unbearable ways to suffer long after adulthood, he was fairly certain his younger self would not have endured it nearly so long.

Standing at the kitchen counter making tea later that evening, Remus found himself relishing the memory of how much easier it used to be, even when those years had still been filled with pain. 

There was a particular sort of bitterness in realising your old suffering had once been the better option. It left him wondering whether, a decade from now—assuming he survived another decade at all—he would look back at this version of himself and wish for this pain instead.

The thought settled heavily in his chest as his eyes drifted across the small home the two of you had built together.

Everywhere he looked, there was evidence of a good life.

Photographs from Hogwarts lined the shelves, moving portraits of him and his friends grinning after graduation, Lily laughing somewhere in the background while James nearly knocked Sirius over trying to celebrate. 

Another frame held a much younger Remus sitting stiffly beside Lily while she carefully placed newborn Harry into his arms, his expression caught somewhere between terror and awe. 

There were pictures from the years after James and Lily died too, quieter and sadder ones, the first photograph ever taken of you and Remus together where neither of you quite looked like yourselves yet. Then came the later years. Harry growing older. Summer holidays spent in this very house. Scarves abandoned over chairs. His spare glasses left forgotten on tables. A broom leaning carelessly near the back door after Harry had visited last.

Evidence.

Evidence of love. Of survival. Of family.

Your yarn basket sat beside the sofa exactly where you always left it, overflowing with tangled wool and half-finished crochet projects. A collection of horribly misshapen mugs crowded the kitchen shelves because neither of you could ever bring yourselves to throw them out after you made them together one winter.

Remus stared at all of it and suddenly felt sick with guilt.

Because what sort of person looked at a life like this and still thought, I cannot keep doing this anymore?

The thought stayed with him for the rest of the evening, settling heavily beneath his ribs while exhaustion slowly wore down what little patience he still had left.

So when the argument finally happened later that night, it had really only begun with a careless slip of the tongue.

“How are you feeling?” you had asked gently from across the kitchen while Remus sat at the table nursing a cup of tea gone lukewarm in his hands. “Do you want me to make something for the pain, love? Or maybe I could—”

“There’s nothing you can do to help,” Remus had snapped, the words coming out far louder and sharper than he intended.

The silence afterward had been immediate.

You stared at him from across the kitchen, your expression caught somewhere between confusion and hurt, as though the outburst had physically struck you. Remus looked away almost instantly, jaw tightening the moment he realised what he had done.

“Well,” you had said after a moment, your voice noticeably more restrained now, “sorry for trying.”

“That isn’t what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean, Remus?”

He exhaled heavily, dragging a tired hand across his face. “Forget it.”

“No, because you don’t get to bite my head off for asking if you’re alright and then tell me to forget it.”

“I said it came out wrong.”

“And I’m asking you to explain it properly.”

The exhaustion already sitting heavily in his bones made patience difficult to hold onto. Remus pushed his tea aside with more force than necessary before leaning back in his chair, visibly agitated.

“There isn’t anything you can do,” he said again, quieter this time but no less tense. “That’s all I meant.”

You let out a short, disbelieving laugh. “You say that as though I’ve been trying to fix a bloody cold.”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Remus said, sharper than intended, the words coming out clipped with exhaustion rather than real anger. “Bloody hell, that’s not what this is.”

“Then what are you saying?” you asked, frustration finally bleeding through properly now, no longer softened by patience. “Because every month you pull further away from me like I’m doing something wrong and I’m trying to understand where I’ve gone wrong here, Remus, I just don’t get it. You won’t let me help you, and if I am doing something wrong then just tell me so I can stop.”

Remus immediately shook his head. “You are not doing anything wrong.”

“You act like I am.”

“I don’t.”

“You do,” you shot back, voice rising slightly. “You barely speak to me after transformations unless I drag answers out of you, and half the time you won’t even tell me where it hurts. You just sit there pretending you’re fine until you can’t anymore, and I’m left trying to figure out what’s changed every single time because you won’t say it out loud.”

His expression hardened slightly. “What exactly do you want me to say?” 

“The truth would be a good start.”

Something bitter flickered across his face at that, quick and involuntary. “The truth?” he repeated more quietly now, almost as if testing whether it was worth saying at all. “Fine. The truth is I’m tired.”

“So am I.”

“I know that.”

“Clearly you don’t,” you snapped before you could stop yourself. “Because I have spent years trying to help you through this, through all of it, and lately it feels like you resent me every time I do. Like I’m making it worse just by being here and trying to help you get through it.” 

“Well, I didn’t fucking ask you to spend years taking care of me!” 

The second the words left his mouth, he regretted them. Your face crumpled for half a heartbeat before anger rushed in to replace it.

“Right,” you said tightly. “Because that’s the problem here, Remus.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Remus said at once, shaking his head slightly as if he could undo it by force. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“No,” you replied. “Apparently I don’t, because you refuse to actually say what you mean. You just say these things and expect me to somehow translate them into something else, and I can’t do that anymore, Remus. I can’t keep guessing what version of you I’m speaking to every time something goes wrong!”

The argument only escalated from there, both of you too exhausted and emotional to pull back once it had begun.

“You shut me out constantly now,” you said, your voice louder than before as you set your mug down against the counter with a sharp clatter. “Every single month I watch you suffer through this and you act like I’m some stranger hovering around you instead of the person who’s been beside you through all of it.”

“You think this is easy for me?!” Remus snapped.

“I think watching you slowly destroy yourself while refusing to talk to me about it isn’t exactly easy for me either!”

“That’s not fair.”

“Neither is this!”

The words rang through the kitchen harshly enough that both of you fell silent for a second.

You looked furious now, but beneath it Remus could still see the hurt sitting there untouched.

“I don’t know what else you want from me,” you admitted, your voice cracking slightly despite your effort to keep it steady. “I’m trying my best, and somehow lately it still feels like I’m failing you.”

“You are not failing me because there’s nothing left to help!”

Your arms folded tightly across yourself as though holding yourself together. “James, Sirius, and Peter could help you through transformations,” you said quietly now. “You always talk about Hogwarts like the four of you got through it together, so clearly they managed something right that I can’t.”

Remus physically flinched at that.

“It isn’t about you not being enough,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Then why does it feel like it?” you demanded. “Because every time I try to help you lately you tense up like I’m doing you more harm than good.”

“That’s not what’s happening.”

“Then what is happening, Remus?” you asked, sharper now, because the uncertainty was starting to feel worse than the argument itself.

He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Because the truth sounded too horrible once spoken aloud. That his body was getting worse faster than either of you realised. That every transformation hurt more than the last. That no amount of love or care or healing could stop what lycanthropy was slowly doing to him. And perhaps worst of all, that he had started wondering whether there would eventually come a point where surviving it simply was not worth the pain anymore.

Instead of saying any of that, Remus looked away from you and said bitterly, “You cannot keep acting like there’s some solution to this, Y/N.”

Your face fell immediately.

“I never thought there was a solution,” you said quietly. “I just thought I was helping.”

Eventually, the two of you spent nearly an hour apart cooling off in different corners of the house, the earlier shouting leaving behind the sort of silence that felt raw rather than peaceful. Remus remained in the kitchen long after his tea had gone cold, staring blankly at the dim light above the sink while guilt settled heavier and heavier in his chest with every passing minute.

In the end, he was the one who came back first.

You were sitting curled up in bed when he stepped quietly into the room, still looking exhausted, shoulders slumped with defeat that made him seem younger than he was. The anger had long since drained out of him, leaving only regret behind.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly after a moment, his voice rough from exhaustion and shouting alike. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

You looked up at him immediately, hurt still lingering faintly across your face despite how quickly you always tried to hide it from him.

“I just wanted to help.”

“I know.” Remus sat carefully beside you, every movement betraying lingering pain no matter how much he tried to conceal it. “And you are helping. Merlin, you help more than anyone ever has.”

Even if it was becoming less true every month.

You softened almost instantly at that, the tension in your shoulders finally easing as you leaned into him. Remus wrapped an arm around you automatically, holding you close while you settled against his chest, your fingers absentmindedly tracing the old scars scattered across his skin where freckles had once been more visible years ago.

“It scares me when you shut me out,” you whispered quietly.

Remus closed his eyes for a moment. “I know.”

“You’re going to be okay,” you murmured after a while, more to reassure yourself than him. “We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

He felt something inside him twist painfully at the certainty in your voice.

By then, you had already forgotten most of the argument entirely. You believed him when he said your care was helping. You believed the exhaustion would pass the way it always had before. You believed Remus was okay, or at least that he would be.

Somehow, your kindness hurt him more than your anger ever could.

Remus genuinely did not understand why you tolerated him and all the endless complications that came along with loving him, even—especially—the ones you did not know about.

─── ⋆⋅ ⏾⋅⋆ ───

It had been nearly a week and a half since the previous full moon. Usually, this period served as recovery time for Remus, where you helped him slowly settle back into his regular routines and day to day life before the next transformation arrived to tear through it all over again. 

It was always a tumultuous stretch of time for him because although his body would gradually improve; the physical pain easing little by little with each passing day, the mental burden only seemed to worsen in its place.

It was a Friday, which usually meant you and Remus would head out for one of your little dates with Harry and his boyfriend Draco, a pairing Remus still struggled to fully accept despite how many years had passed. 

(He had insisted for ages that Draco was a “weird” fit for Harry, though he had never once stood in the way of Harry’s happiness. At this point, the stubbornness of it had become almost amusing).

Now, however, Remus stood in front of the full length mirror in your shared bedroom, supposedly in the middle of getting dressed, though he had not moved in several minutes. 

Half dressed and exhausted already, he could see every flaw reflected back at him with painful clarity. Every scar. Every faded freckle buried beneath damaged skin. The bruises still linger faintly yellow and purple along his ribs. Loose skin. The slight softness now settled around his stomach from the weight he had gained over the years.

And really, Remus could not help but feel like throwing up.

He looked repulsive; he looked like a monster wearing the shape of a man.

The thought struck him so violently that his breath caught somewhere in his chest, and suddenly he was crying before he even fully realised it had begun, harsh sobs forcing their way out of him as years worth of self loathing finally cracked open all at once. 

There was so much disgust festering inside him that he no longer knew how to contain it. So much bitterness and exhaustion and loneliness that had nowhere to go except inward, rotting quietly beneath his ribs month after month after month.

Because really, his entire life had become nothing more than a series of arithmetic checks designed to ration what little energy he had left: If I leave the laundry until tomorrow, then maybe I will have enough energy to cook dinner tonight. If I visit Harry this weekend, I will probably spend the following day unable to get out of bed. If the temperature drops tomorrow, my joints will ache worse. If it rains, the old injuries in my back will flare again.

If. If. If.

Everything had become a calculation.

It was exhausting constantly trying to predict whether his own body would betray him from one day to the next, and worse still was the humiliating awareness that half the time the calculations failed him anyway.

A few weeks ago, you had caught him sitting far too long at the kitchen table, quietly trying to plan the coming days around a stack of apothecary receipts and potion ingredients, and had teased him for treating something as simple as rest like a timetable. (“Remus, you don’t have to schedule everything like it’s an exam revision plan,” you had said, smiling as you leaned over his shoulder. “Merlin’s tits, do Muggles seriously plan their entire lives like a to-do list?”) 

Remus had laughed along with you at the time, forcing out some amused remark while something ugly twisted sharply in his chest. You would never have to think about these things. You would never understand what it was like to ration your own life in increments because one missed recovery day meant everything else unravelled after it; because agreeing to see someone meant paying for it in pain later, because even rest itself had to be carefully budgeted or it stopped working at all. 

Still, he had memorised every detail listed there anyway. He added all of it into the endless equation running through his head every waking moment now.

How badly will it hurt tomorrow?

It never truly helped, but the illusion of preparation gave him something dangerously close to control, even if that control was entirely fabricated.

The bedroom door suddenly swung open before he could stop crying properly, and you stepped inside still talking before you even looked at him.

“I swear the washing machine has a personal vendetta against me,” you rambled distractedly. “It ruined my dress completely, the threads along the sleeves are all coming apart and now I’ve nothing to wear tonight unless I—”

You stop abruptly once you notice him standing there.

Your eyes flicker from his tear stained face down toward the sweater clenched tightly in his hands, the old knit fabric stretched a little too tightly now across his frame.

“Oh,” you say quietly, immediately gentler. “Love, if it’s too uncomfortable I can charm it a little looser for you.”

And somehow, pathetically, that tiny act of kindness became the final thing that shattered him completely.

Remus broke apart with a noise so wounded it frightened even himself, sobs tearing violently out of his chest as he bent forward, one shaking hand pressed hard against his mouth as though trying to physically force the sound back down.

You were beside him instantly. “Oh, love, hey, hey, what’s wrong?” you murmur frantically, hands cupping his face before moving to steady his shaking shoulders. “Breathe for me, sweetheart. Remus, breathe. What happened?”

He could not answer.

“Remus, listen to me,” you continued gently, clearly trying to piece together what had upset him so badly. “Y’know it’s normal to gain a little weight in your thirties, right? You’re fine, really, the sweater probably just shrunk a little in the wash and—”

That only made him cry harder.

Because he was not crying over the extra weight.

God, he wished it were only that.

He wished this entire breakdown could be explained away by something as ordinary and fixable as weight gain or tiredness or stress from work. He wished he could simply laugh weakly and let you reassure him and move on from it like any normal person would. 

Instead, the tears kept falling harder and harder no matter how much he tried to stop them, humiliation curling painfully in his chest because he knew you still did not understand what he was actually grieving. 

Everything hurt.

It all hurt so much.

Remus had spent his entire life in pain in one form or another, but there had once been spaces between it. Small mercies; periods where recovery felt possible, where he could almost pretend the transformations had not left permanent damage behind each time they tore through him. 

Lately, though, it felt as though those spaces had disappeared entirely. The pain no longer arrived only with the full moon. It threaded itself through ordinary moments until even standing at the kitchen counter making tea could leave his back aching badly enough that he needed to sit down halfway through. 

And the worst part was how normal it had all started becoming. 

Remus could no longer remember the last time he had experienced a day completely untouched by discomfort. There was only manageable pain and unbearable pain now, and lately the line separating the two had begun narrowing in ways that frightened him. 

It was exhausting living like that.

Exhausting having to calculate every outing, every chore, every responsibility against how much pain it would cost him afterward. Exhausting pretending he was coping better than he truly was because the alternative meant watching concern settle into everyone’s faces all over again. Exhausting knowing his condition was getting worse while everyone around him still spoke about it as though recovery remained possible if he simply rested enough or took the right potion or waited for things to improve.

Things were not improving.

That was the part he could no longer force himself to ignore.

The wolf was destroying him slowly, and Remus had become painfully aware of it in ways he could not explain aloud without terrifying both of you.

A selfish part of him wanted everything to simply stop for a little while so he could finally rest, properly rest, without having to calculate and ration and recover endlessly. He wanted to wake up without immediately assessing what hurt that morning. He wanted enough energy to finish the mountain of unfinished work piling up around him. He wanted to be the person everyone around him believed he still was.

And somewhere beneath the panic clawing viciously through him, Remus knew some of this was simply the panic attack dragging him downward into its familiar spiral of despair.

Remus just wanted to be gone, whether that meant dying or disappearing or simply ceasing to exist for a little while. Anything, anything, so long as he no longer had to feel this way anymore. 

Your voice continues drifting toward him through the panic, gentle and grounding and desperately trying to pull him back, though for several horrible moments it does not seem to reach him at all. 

Remus can still barely breathe properly, his chest tightening painfully as tears continue spilling down his face no matter how hard he tries to stop them. The room around him feels distant and warped at the edges, every thought inside his head collapsing into noise until suddenly your hands are cradling his face firmly enough to force his attention back onto you.

“Remus,” you whisper shakily, your thumbs brushing beneath his eyes. “Look at me, love. Please look at me.”

And he does.

The second your arms pull him against your chest, something inside him completely breaks apart.

A sob tears out of him so violently it frightens even himself. The sound is rough and wounded and horribly animalistic in a way that makes humiliation immediately claw through him afterward because it does not sound human anymore. 

He can feel the way his breathing keeps hitching uncontrollably against you while you hold him tighter instead of recoiling, your hand moving shakily through his hair while you whisper soft reassurances against his temple.

“What’s wrong?” you ask quietly. “Remus, talk to me.”

For a few seconds all he can do is cry harder.

Then eventually, brokenly, he whispers, “I can’t do this anymore.”

You pull back just enough to look at him properly, immediate concern flashing across your face as you rush to reassure him.

“It’s okay,” you say quickly. “We don’t have to go see Harry and Draco tomorrow, love, it’s alright. I’m sure they’ll understand if you’re not feeling well enough—”

Remus shakes his head almost desperately before another sob catches painfully in his throat.

“No,” he chokes out. “No, it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

His hands shake violently where they clutch weakly at your sleeves.

“I just can’t do this anymore,” he cries. “All of this, I can’t—I can’t keep—”

The realisation slowly drains the colour from your face. Remus watches the exact moment you understand what he actually means.

Without a word, you carefully lower both of you onto the floor until you are sitting together against the side of the bed, Remus half collapsed against your chest while he struggles to breathe through the sobs still wracking through him. Your arms remain wrapped tightly around him, one hand gripping his almost desperately now as though you are frightened he might disappear if you let go.

“It’s gotten worse,” he finally admits through broken breaths. “So much worse.”

You stay silent, letting him speak.

“It hurts every day now,” he whispers. “Every second. I wake up hurting and I go to sleep hurting and sometimes it feels like my body never recovers properly anymore.” His breathing stutters unevenly. “The transformations are worse and recovery takes longer and the pain doesn’t leave afterward like it used to. I thought it would pass, I thought maybe I was just exhausted or stressed or getting older but it just keeps getting worse.”

Tears continue slipping down his face faster than he can wipe them away.

“My knees hurt all the time now,” he admits shakily, the confession sounding pathetic enough to make him hate himself for it. “My hips ache after every full moon for days afterward and sometimes my hands shake so badly I can barely hold things properly and I’m so tired all the time.” 

A horrible, humourless laugh breaks weakly through another sob. “I keep trying to adjust to it and then it gets worse again and I have to learn how to live in my body all over again because this keeps becoming my new normal and I don’t know how much worse it’s going to get.”

By the end of it, he can barely get the words out at all.

Your own tears have begun falling quietly somewhere during his rambling, though you continue holding him through all of it, your thumb rubbing shakily across the back of his hand while he cries into your shoulder.

“Love,” you whisper brokenly once he finally falls silent. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Remus squeezes his eyes shut.

“I knew something was wrong,” you continue softly through your own tears. “I’m not a bloody fool, Remus. You’ve been shutting me out for months and refusing to tell me what was happening and I kept thinking maybe I was doing something wrong somehow, but you could’ve told me.” Your voice cracks painfully. “I would’ve been there for you.”

“I didn’t want to burden you,” he mumbles weakly. “Didn’t want to ruin whatever image you still had of me. At least the half decent one.”

You lean forward carefully and press a soft kiss against his damp cheek before resting your forehead against his.

“Remus,” you whisper, “I love you. Not whatever version of your body you think you’re supposed to be.” Your fingers intertwine more tightly with his. “Bodies change, love. Mine has changed too. That doesn’t make you harder to love.”

Remus cries quietly for a long while after that.

When the two of you finally crawl into bed later that night, his hips still ache, his knees still throb painfully beneath the blankets, and every joint in his body still feels bruised and raw from years of damage that no longer heals cleanly.

The pain has not disappeared.

Neither has the fear.

Though for the first time in months, the ache inside his chest feels just a little less unbearable than before.

─── ⋆⋅ ⏾⋅⋆ ───

And as it turns out, the road toward being okay is a tumultuous one, painfully non linear in all the most ordinary ways.

It takes time for Remus to learn how to ask for help when he needs it instead of silently enduring until he reaches a breaking point. It takes time for you to learn not to immediately offer help every time you think he might need it, because sometimes the loss of independence stings worse than the pain itself. 

Most of all, it takes time for the both of you to learn each other all over again, for you to recognise the moments where he does need help even when exhaustion leaves him too tired or ashamed to verbally ask for it.

Eight months later, the two of you have fallen into something that cannot quite be called easier, though it is no longer as unbearable as it once was either. The pain still exists. Remus still has bad days where getting out of bed feels impossible, and the full moons still leave him aching for days afterward in ways neither of you can truly fix. 

There are still moments where frustration gets the better of him, where pain and humiliation twist together until they come out harsher than intended.

(“I can do it myself,” Remus had snapped once while trying to stand from the sofa after a particularly bad full moon, exhaustion making his hands shake with the effort. “I’m not a fucking toddler.”)

Other times, though, there are moments that would have once been unimaginable to him, moments where he finally lets himself ask for help.

(“Can you help me up?” he had whispered one winter morning after his knees locked painfully beneath him halfway down the stairs, his voice thick with embarrassment. “Please. I just… I can’t do it right now.”)

And there are some rare times where Remus had stopped pretending he was fine when he clearly was not, and you had stopped trying to fix every part of his pain, understanding now that sometimes all he needed was someone willing to sit beside him through it. It did not make the lycanthropy easier, nor did it stop him from getting worse, but somehow carrying it together made it easier for Remus to survive.

Slowly, very fucking slowly at that, Remus begins pulling himself out from beneath all the burdens that have haunted him for years. Not perfectly and not all at once, but enough that he starts noticing the difference in small moments before he notices it anywhere else.

He begins accepting what has happened to him and what continues happening to him in this painfully mundane life of his.

Because that is the thing about chronic suffering in the end. Most of it is not a cycle of great torture. It exists in ordinary moments. In aching joints while making tea. In needing help buttoning a shirt after a difficult transformation because his fingers hurt too badly to cooperate. In learning how to build a life around pain without allowing pain to become the only thing life contains.

More often now, Remus finds himself staring at the photographs scattered throughout your shared home, though the feeling they stir in him has changed. Once they had filled him with grief for everything he had lost and guilt for all the times he had wanted to surrender beneath the weight of it. 

Now they bring peace, or something close enough to it.

The memories of everyone he has loved and lost no longer feel solely painful. James and Lily smiling brightly from moving photographs, Sirius finally free and laughing so hard during Sunday tea that he nearly spills his drink across the table, even Peter lingering painfully at the edges of memory despite everything that happened; all of them remind Remus that his life has contained something meaningful enough to grieve in the first place.

It is bittersweet in a way he suspects life often is.

The glass is not entirely full, nor entirely empty either, and for the first time in years Remus finds himself capable of accepting that perhaps it does not need to be one or the other.

He has come a long way from the quiet, scrawny twelve year old boy crying in Madam Pomfrey’s office after full moons because he could not understand why this had happened to him. 

He is no longer the twenty one year old standing shell shocked at James and Lily’s funeral believing he had lost all three of his best friends in a single night. 

He is no longer the twenty five year old convinced he was ruining your life simply by remaining in it. 

He is not that thirty eight year old lying awake wishing he could die just so the pain would stop for a little while.

Now, Remus finds solace in the people who remain.

In meeting Minerva every once in a while and sharing grief neither of them ever fully learned to put down. 

In listening to Luna ramble happily about all her strange adventures across both the wizarding and muggle world with the sort of sincerity only Luna could possess. 

In sharing tea with Tonks while she animatedly complains about work and laughs halfway through her own stories. 

In watching Harry build a bright, beautiful life for himself despite everything that should have destroyed him. 

In accepting Draco slowly and reluctantly at first before eventually recognising the great devotion with which he loves Harry.

Most of all, Remus finds comfort in you.

In your patience. Your stubbornness. Your quiet insistence on loving him through every ugly complicated part of being alive.

And these days, when Remus looks around the home the two of you built together, his chest no longer twists with guilt alone.

Now it twists with gratitude—because somehow, impossibly, he found a group of people so deeply convinced he was lovable and worthy of care that they spoon fed the belief into him for years until eventually, one day, he finally learned how to feed himself.

And it is at that point, almost two years later, that Remus realises this had been the point all along.

Not on some grand life changing day either, nor during one of the dramatic moments he once believed revelations were meant to arrive within. 

The understanding comes to him quietly on an ordinary evening while he lays stretched across the sofa with your legs tangled absentmindedly with his own, watching you knit some sort of ridiculous mug warmer for his tea that he already knows he will treasure for the rest of his life simply because you made it.

You continue rambling softly about his upcoming birthday, asking what sort of gift he might want this year despite Remus insisting repeatedly that he truly does not need anything.

“It doesn’t have to be something big,” you tell him while counting stitches distractedly. “I just want it to be something you’ll actually like.”

“I’ll like whatever you get me.”

“That is not helpful at all.”

A smile tugs faintly at his mouth despite himself.

“You made me that scarf three years ago and I still wear it constantly,” he points out lazily.

“That scarf is falling apart.”

“And yet I continue wearing it.”

You laugh softly at that before finally looking up at him properly, and the expression on your face nearly undoes him where he lays.

Because your eyes are so unbearably full of love that it feels as though the feeling itself might spill over and drown him entirely if he stares too long. 

You look at him with such uncomplicated affection, such complete certainty, that sometimes Remus still struggles understanding how a person like you can exist at all. It is as though you carry some endless bright thing within yourself and insist upon turning it toward every monstrous, complicated, ugly part of him until even he cannot help but stand inside its warmth eventually.

And unexpectedly, his ribs twist painfully around his lungs, though not with the familiar agony of transformation. This ache arrives differently, softer and deeper all at once, and the realisation settles over him so suddenly it nearly steals the breath from his chest.

Just like his ribs twist and split beneath the full moon to form something monstrous, they twist for you too.

Just like his heart clenches in pain, it also clenches whenever he looks at you.

The feeling is not the same, and somehow it is exactly the same.

Because the wolf is made from his flesh and bones no matter how much he despises it, and love is too. The worst parts of him and the best parts of him come from the very same place. They exist within the same body, beneath the same battered ribs that have endured both agony and tenderness so profound it frightens him sometimes.

It reminds him suddenly of Eve being created from Adam’s ribs, of love itself being born from flesh rather than separate from it.

And perhaps that is what finally frees him; the thing he has hated most throughout his entire life is made from the very same parts of him capable of love.

The same ribs.

The same heart.

The same body.

For years Remus believed the wolf had made him fundamentally unworthy of being loved properly, as though suffering and monstrosity somehow cancelled out tenderness. Yet here you are beside him still, years later, knitting ugly little mug warmers and arguing with him over birthday presents and looking at him with enough love to make his chest ache from carrying it.

And so, Remus accepts it.

All of it.

He accepts the wolf even as he continues hating the pain it causes him every month. He accepts the scars carved into his body and the exhaustion that still follows difficult transformations. He accepts the strange fragile joy of being loved so thoroughly despite all the parts of himself he once believed impossible to live beside.

Most importantly of all, he accepts himself.

Remus feels almost foolish for only now stumbling upon something human beings seem to have instinctively known since the beginning of time: that accepting the love you are given requires accepting yourself enough to believe you deserve to receive it in the first place. That fear has a way of blinding people not only from happiness, but from recognising love even when it sits directly before them. That the entire point of loving another person is to allow yourself to be loved in return despite how frightening and vulnerable and immeasurable that exchange truly is.

Slowly, Remus reaches for you.

You pause your knitting immediately when he tilts your chin upward gently before leaning down to press a soft kiss against your lips. The expression you wear afterward is so fond it almost makes him laugh.

“I love you,” he whispers quietly.

You smile instantly, warmly, beautifully, as though hearing those words from him will never become ordinary no matter how many years pass between you.

“I love you too,” you whisper back with such overwhelming sincerity that he feels his chest tighten all over again.

His ribs contract once more beneath the feeling, though this time it is not from pain.

And although Remus knows they will ache again soon enough because of the wolf, knows another full moon will eventually arrive as it always does, he finds himself breathing through the feeling instead of fearing it.

His ribs are constant reminders of every pain he has endured, of every person he has loved, and of every ounce of love somehow returned back into his hands despite everything he once believed made him unworthy of receiving it. They ache with old grief and survival alike, though somewhere within that ache lives the proof that he was loved through all of it anyway. 

Remus Lupin has lived a hard, complicated, painfully ordinary life.

Though for the first time in a very long while, when he looks at it now, he realises it has also been a life filled with love. 

And finally, after all these years, he wants to keep living it.

─── ⋆⋅ ⏾⋅⋆ ───

a/n: pheww this was so fun to write, i love writing angst and that includes making remus suffer. this fic is so, so special to me <3 some scenes were inspired by an ao3 fic i read but i cannot find the @, i just remember it had the name rachel so if u find it lmk

[georgie-weasley]

This is beautiful. Absolutely amazing

[amarauder]

prongs the temporary prefect - james potter x reader

| prongs, the temporary prefect

PAIRING; James Potter x reader

SUMMARY; Despite common belief, James Fleamont Potter has been appointed perfect. A total of seven times actually and somehow Y/N always gets appointed as James’ rounds partner. 

Or in which James occasionally takes over Remus’ patrols during the Full Moon and Y/N is always stuck as his partner. 

WORD COUNT; 19k (how?)

DATE; 09/22/2025

WARNING; cursing, making out, getting hit on, lowkey it tbh

A/N; So this is my child but I have a hate-love relationship with my child soooo. Also this was supposed to be around 6k… Yeah. As always thoughts, feelings, concerns, constructive criticism is always welcome! I’m really trying to improve my writing so I would LOVE to hear if there is something I should change or improve on!

“Miss L/N. I would like to have a word.” McGonagall managed just before Y/N slipped away from class. 

Her stomach dropped. Y/N’s grade in Transfig was an Outstanding that couldn’t be why McGonagall asked her to stay. The only thing she could think of was her accident last week where her coaster turned into a toucan and promptly flew right into a poor puff’s head. 

Emmeline squeezed her arm and smiled at her reassuringly, “I’ll meet you at the common room, yeah?” 

She nodded and waited for the rest of the stragglers to clear the classroom. Why James Potter was taking forever to pack up when he’s usually the first one out was beyond her. 

“Have a biscuit, L/N.” McGonagall gestured to the cookies on her desk. If cookies were supposed to soothe whatever catastrophe McGonagall was about to break to Y/N then she might as well just jump off the Astronomy tower already. 

After swallowing a nibble of the cookie, McGonagall began to speak “Miss L/N. I am sorry to disturb you. I know you are very busy with all your responsibilities. But I need to ask you a favor. Before I ask you, I would like for you to know that I already discussed this with your Head and Professor Flitwick agreed.” 

Her previously high strung demeanor melted away, her shoulders no longer clenched to her ears. Many professors have asked her for favors before, mostly tutoring sessions with struggling students. After Potter had accidentally dropped his books a ridiculous amount of times because of his staring problem, she wouldn’t be surprised if it was him. 

“Mr.Lupin has fallen rather ill the past few days.” 

She blinked slowly, the rich cookie suddenly tasting stale. “Oh no? Is he okay?” 

“Nothing Mr.Lupin hasn’t dealt with before. He should be back to his Prefect duties by the end of the week. However, that leaves us with this week to attend too. I talked to the Head Girl and she said that all the Prefects have other responsibilities. Your Head said you should be fine patrolling by yourself but with” McGonagall hesitated, “the attack in Hogsmeade a few weeks ago, we decided a partner is needed. Potter offered himself up for the task.” 

“I’m sorry. Come again?” Y/N blinked slowly, her brain moving too fast for her to comprehend. Out of all her fellow students to choose from to patrol with. McGonagall picked James Potter? She knew McGonagall had secret favorites but this was too much. Potter and the rest of his marauding friends had literally just set off dungbombs during her Astronomy exam two days ago. “But he’s not a prefect, Professor?” 

Her professor remained firm but then eventually conceded with a sigh, “I know it is rather unconventional. But we have no other choice, Ms.L/N. All the other prefects are busy with their other arrangements. Mr.Potter has been more than generous to give up his free evening in order to help Mr.Lupin. This situation will only be temporary. I have briefed Mr.Potter on patrolling, he will meet you outside the Ravenclaw common room after dinner.” 

“I’m sure he has plenty of knowledge on patrols already.” Y/N mumbled to herself bitterly, getting one too many flashbacks of her almost catching Potter either exploring the castle or planning his next prank. 

There was no way she could deny her professor but honestly. This was just plain ridiculous. Sure, Y/N didn’t know Potter personally but he wasn’t exactly known for his responsibility. Plus she looked forward to patrols with Remus. After two years of patrolling together they had become friends. Y/N could only hope that Remus had rubbed off on Potter a bit. 

She sighed but bit her tongue and succumbed to her fate.

“Rowena help me. If you mention Potter one more time I’m gonna transfer into Slytherin.” Emmeline groaned dramatically but still threw herself onto Y/N’s bed obviously absolutely thrilled by her best friend’s apparent demise. 

Y/N rolled her eyes and flicked her friend’s shoulder, “If I have to hear about Potter brag about Dumbass and Co. for the next few hours then you get to hear me complain.” 

Emmeline made a mock-suffering face. “You poor thing. What a tragic, tragic fate. Looking at Potter and his insanely pretty face.” 

Y/N wrinkled her nose at the thought before glancing at her watch.  “I should go.” She stood up with a sigh, “Rounds.”

Emmeline perked up immediately, wiggling her brows, “With Potter!” 

“Shut uppppp!” She sang back, already halfway out the door. 

She left to the sound of her friend’s laughter trailing behind her. The common room was mostly quiet, save for the few murmurs of Barty Crouch Jr. He lounged languidly across the couch, one arm stretched lazily behind him as he snickered at whatever Evan Rosier had just murmured. 

“L/N,” Barty drawled, eyes flickering up at her as she passed. “Off to babysit Lupin?” 

She arched her brow but kept walking, deciding it was better to not mention Remus’ sickness, “Off to pretend Slytherins aren’t banned from the common room?” 

Rosier grinned, unbothered, but Barty sat up smirking, “You know, if you ever want to give up babysitting for a night, I would be more than behaved. Or misbehaved if that's what you like.”

Y/N felt her face start to burn. She didn’t give into his taunts but still, she felt his gaze even as the statue shifted closed behind her with a soft grind of stone. 

The deafening shut of the door felt like her future sealing itself. Y/N took in a deep breath and smoothed down her hair and uniform on instinct. It was just patrol. She’d done this hundreds of times. 

To be honest, Y/N didn’t even know why she was so nervous. Y/N liked to think she was decently outgoing, or at least she had to force herself too in order to become Prefect. Even after throwing herself into being an “extravert”, she knew being stuck with Potter-who she couldn’t remember a time where they had a decent conversation-for hours on end made her nervous. 

Forcing herself to ignore her swirling stomach, she focused instead on how surprisingly bright the corridor was. She knew tonight was the full moon after studying for her Astronomy class. Yet it just hit her now that she had never patrolled during the full moon. It was surprisingly nice. The castle at night had always left her feeling just a bit on edge with the flickering torches and murmuring portraits but now with the extra light it wasn’t so bad.  

Turning the corner, she saw him. 

James stood by the arch near the west staircases, his left shoulder resting on the wall, posture relaxed but alert. The big window behind him spilled moonlight onto his shoulder, highlighting his hair in a way that made his unruly curls almost look pale. Y/N tried to make out his facial expression, to get some idea of how he was feeling but the light never reached his face.

At the sight of her footsteps, he glanced up. The second his eyes landed on her he straightened up and beamed. “Hey.”

“Potter.”

“Ready for rounds?”

Y/N tried to smile. “Let’s start with the west wing, then make our way up the east and circle back.”

“Sounds good,” James said.

She glanced over at James in the corner of her eye. It was the first time she could really see him. He had the same square glasses on he always did, paired with rather scuffed trainers and his uniform. Her lips quirked, Remus had obviously left out that James could wear casual clothing. 

She started to become hyperaware of Potter’s presence. He kept glancing at her like he was about to speak before looking away. From what she had known and seen, this was very un-potter like of him. The silence was starting to get uncomfortable.

But Y/N didn’t know what to say to him. Her and James had never really spoken and she fully expected him to be chattering away nonsense. Instead of whining to Emmeline, they should have been brainstorming topics to talk about. 

Just as she opened her mouth to say something, he beat her to it.

“You go.”

“No, you go. Mine’s not important.”

James pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, then gave in. “Alright. I was going to ask what you and Remus usually talk about on patrols.”

“Honestly? Nothing interesting,” Y/N shrugged, then smiled. “Actually, last year we made a game tallying how many couples we saw, ranked by house.”

James’s lips twitched. “Let me guess. All Gryffindors?”

“Surprisingly, no. Us Ravenclaws are freakier than we look, I guess.”

James barked out a laugh. “You know what? I can see it. All that stress and studying. It always is the quiet ones.”

Y/N gaped at him, her eyebrows raised. “And how would you know?”

Before he could respond, the staircase rumbled beneath them and began to shift.

She groaned. “Ugh. I hate when this happens.”

“Tell me about it. Always at the worst possible time.”

Just then a memory popped into her mind, chasing Black through the corridors after a rather nauseatingly boring patrol, where Remus had conveniently disappeared. The stairs had started to change and Y/N had thought she had finally caught Sirius and a very James Potter looking form before they both disappeared like smoke. She narrowed her eyes. 

“What? Like that time I caught you and Black last year?”

James looked scandalized. “Oi! I'll have you know what I was going to say on the way to class. Besides, if I remember correctly, Sirius and I got away.”

Her mouth fell open. She knew it. “Oh! Oh!” she shouted, pointing at him and practically bouncing. “I knew it was you! No one believed me when I said you disappeared into thin air! How did you even do that?”

“C’mon now, L/N,” he said with a smirk. “You know I can’t reveal my secrets to a Prefect.”

To her own surprise, Y/N burst out laughing and he started to laugh along with her. Merlin, Potter’s laugh was contagious. It was rich and loose and paired with his dimpled smile she was starting to see why so many girls had a crush on him. 

It hit her then. Was she enjoying herself? It was all rather confusing, James wasn’t acting like how she thought he would. He was supposed to be all obnoxious ego but instead he was kind of charming. It was already half past midnight and it felt like they had only been patrolling for an hour. 

“You know,” Y/N said with a sly smile after it had gotten quiet for a few moments. “When McGonagall mentioned you were volunteering to Patrol my first thought was this has to be some crazy distraction so Black and Pettigrew can cause chaos in the castle.” 

James barked out a laugh and took a step closer to her. For a split second she thought he was going to nudge her with his elbow but he stopped himself right before. Even as he spoke his eyes remained on her arm where he would have touched her before flickering up to her eyes. Her breath hitched. James' eyes stayed locked on hers for a few seconds, but it felt longer. 

“And what? We are just holding Moony somewhere hostage?” 

Fighting a shiver she painted on a smirk, “More or less.” 

“I’ll have you know our Remmie is not as innocent as you may think.” 

“Mmm,” Y/N hummed in mock understanding, “Gonna elaborate more on that?” 

“As if I would dare give out Moon’s secret identity. Besides, I’m a changed man.”

She turned to him, “That almost sounded mature. I’m shocked.” 

“Takes a lot of effort, trust me.” 

They both started to snicker. She was about to make a clever comment in return when she realized they weren't the only ones laughing. 

Potter paused mid-step. Y/N’s eyes narrowed, she turned in the direction of the sound, “I’ll go first. We just break them up then take points off and make sure they go separate ways. Sometimes we have to wait for them to put their clothes on but hopefully that won’t happen this time.”

A few paces later, they turned the corner and saw nothing. Y/N’s brows furrowed, she murmured a quick Lumos and still saw nothing but disgruntled portraits waking up. 

“I don’t understand-” She cut herself off abruptly when Potter’s wand came out of his pocket faster than a blink of an eye. 

He moved so quickly that she almost missed it. In less than a second, she had been turning to James confused about where the students had gone (and questioning her own sanity) to witnessing James with his wand in front of him. He had it pointed to a corner that was now slowly illuminating a pair of students, who were starting to show form after having obviously used some invisibility charm. 

At the sight of James the younger boy relaxed, “Oh Potter! Thank Merlin it’s you. I thought you were a Prefect-” 

“I am today, O’Donnell. Ten points from Gryffindor.” As Potter continued she couldn’t help but admire him. His voice was filled with the authority of a man well beyond his years. James wasn’t kidding about trying to be a new man. He spoke sternly but gently, voice void of the mischief it usually held but his eyes betraying him. The impressed look on her face formed before she knew what was happening. James is strangely good at patrol. Y/N had a feeling it was due to getting into trouble 24/7. After all, it wasn’t hard to copy a speech you had heard almost everyday of your life. Maybe it’s not so bad to have a partner who was mischievous as Potter, he certainly knew all the tells. 

James, taking points from the students, snapped her from her reverie. The boy was starting to protest.

“That’s enough. Unless you want it to become 20, I suggest you be quiet and head off to your dorms.” Y/N said then turned to the girl who was starting to smirk, clearly thinking she had gotten away unscathed. “Don’t think I forgot about you, Akhil. 10 points from Slytherin.” 

“Go on, off to your rooms.” James said as he gave the still grumbling Gryffindor a silencing look. “Separately.”

The second they were out of sight, James turned to Y/N with a mischievous glint in his eye. Before he even could get a word out Y/N started to roll her eyes. She could practically feel the joke before he even opened his mouth

“A Gryffindor and Slytherin!” James' voice suddenly turned high-pitched making Y/N start to laugh softly, “How scandalous.” 

“Dumbledore would be so proud,” She said, glancing down the hall to double check the two students were out of hearing range. “His inter-house relations are working.” 

They continued on their patrol. Y/N still giggling at his comment and James grinning down at her. “You know I’m just happy they still had their clothes on.” 

“Me too. You would be surprised how often Remus and I would find them undressed, or even using props.” 

James laughed quietly at her comment before stuffing his hands in his pocket and looking over at her. “One time Padfoot and I were, uh,” he hesitated, recognizing her was about to out himself. 

“Doing research,” Y/N supplied for him with a smirk and a side eye. 

James smiled and nodded, “Yes, Padfoot and I were performing research around the castle and caught a couple once actually using an Arthmancy textbook as a prop.” 

Y/N giggled, and he grinned, clearly pleased with himself. “That poor Arithmancy textbook.”

Ahead of them was the Rowena statue, Y/N unconsciously started to slow down. She turned to James only to see him looking a bit nervous and almost awkward. Y/N immediately felt concerned. Sure, seeing James serious earlier was surprising but there were reasons. Now, as he stared down at her looking unsure she had this urge to place her hand on his arm in comfort. 

He came to a full stop in front of the statue, “Listen, L/N.” He ran a hand through hair, “I just wanted to thank you. I really appreciate you allowing me to take Remus’ spot and not making a fuss. He means a lot to me and you doing this for him.” James trailed off to throw a hand in his hair again, “I wanted to make sure you understood my gratitude.” 

Y/N considered his words. She knew James really cared about his friends but this felt different. She smiled softly at him, “There’s no need to thank me James. Remus and I are friends too. I would do this any day for him.”

That was when he looked at her in a way that had her stilling. His eyes were wide but had softened into something that looked like awe. 

In response, Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. She wasn’t sure why, just that the look was rather blinding and she had this strong urge to run away.

James seemed to realize his slip up too late, his eyes widened even more, like he hadn’t meant to let it show. He coughed and smiled with an easy chuckle as if he hadn’t just looked at her like that. “I know, but having to deal with me as a partner just can’t be easy.” 

Y/N scoffed, grabbing onto his change of topic with desperation, “No, James. You need to give yourself some more credit. I don’t know many people who would give up a free evening to cover their friend’s patrol.” 

James shrugged modestly, “They would do it for me.” 

Y/N didn’t doubt it. The marauders were close, closer than brothers but that shouldn’t give him any less credit.

“Regardless, I wanted to thank you. It means a lot to him,” He started to mumble a bit quieter, “to me too actually.” The words were barely above a mumble, like they slipped out before he could stop them. His gaze flickered up to hers, just for a second. She wasn’t sure if she’d misheard him but didn’t dare ask him to repeat it.

He looked away and ran his hands through his hair before stuffing them in his pockets, “Anyway, he’s doing better. He should be better by your next patrol. So you don’t have to worry about dealing with me as your partner anymore.” 

Y/N blinked. That should have felt like good news. 

But it didn’t. 

She was almost startled by her stomach sinking. She’d enjoyed her time with him. More than she cared to admit. 

So she forced a smile that probably looked as weak as she felt, “Well, good riddance.” 

James' lips quirked but he didn't say anything else until she answered the riddle and the statue opened. He spun on his heel towards her, his hands shoved in his pockets, “Have a good night, L/N. Thank you again.” 

“Goodnight Potter.” The second the door shut on the statue, Y/N paused to take a deep breath and recollect her thoughts. Tonight was nothing like she was expecting. Potter, a decent human? It was rather annoying. She had disliked him for years and now getting to know him all those thoughts just went out of the window because he made a few jokes and was sincere in thanking her? She needed some time to take this all in. 

“L/N!” A voice called as she walked into the common room. She turned to match the voice to none other than Crouch. Y/N was about to roll her eyes when she caught the concerned look in his eye. “You alright? You look weird.” 

Y/N scoffed, “Thanks, Crouch.” and immediately made a beeline for her dorm room. 

It took longer than usual for Y/N to fall asleep. She couldn’t shake off the thought that Potter was different. That he might have changed. That something between them had changed.  

Y/N groaned and stuffed her face into her pillow, “Emmeline, I am going to make it my life’s mission to make your life miserable. It is 6:30! Why on Earth are we awake?” 

“You told me to wake you up early so you could check on Remus. Remember?” She chirped, way too happy to be up at an ungodly hour. 

Y/N lifted her head up from the comfort of her pillow to give her a glare, “Not this early! Breakfast isn’t even out for another half hour. You just want to hear about patrol with James and you know it.” 

Emmeline went uncharacteristically silent and Y/N realized her damning mistake instantly. Oh Rowena. Here it comes. Emmeline started to squeal and Y/N cursed Merlin every way possible for making her best friend a morning person. “You called him James! Not Potter!” 

It took promptly five minutes and a million threatening curses before Y/N finally got up and it was only because she offered to do her hair. Emmeline, along with her three other sisters were all adopted by the Vance family. Each sister was a different ethnicity. After growing up doing her sister's hair, Emmeline could tame any hair type at any time. 

“Well?” Emmeline said once Y/N was settled and she had all the needed products in front of her. 

Y/N blinked. “Well what?” 

“Oh, don’t play dumb. How was your incredibly awful, horrible, traumatizing patrol with Potter? Or do I get to call him James now?” Y/N scoffed and pinched her friend. Emmeline shrieked before bursting into giggles. 

Last night had her rethinking her previous conceptions of the Marauders. She had always liked Remus but now she could see herself adding James to that list. She could see herself even becoming friends with James. They certainly felt like something akin to friends last night.

She was brought back to the present by Emmeline parting her hair, “Was he hilarious? Did he tell you any stories? I have always wanted to know their craziest one. Oh my Merlin, was he devilishly handsome in the moonlight?” 

“Em,” Y/N cut in, tone flat. “It wasn’t like that.”

Emmeline fell quiet, which was rare enough to make Y/N feel a little guilty.

“I just mean,” Y/N searched for the right words. “It was just… easy. Kind of nice, actually. He thanked me for letting him take over Remus’ patrol as if I was the one doing him a favor.” 

Emmeline raised a brow in the mirror but said nothing.

“He just seemed different. I didn’t feel like he was being an obnoxious attention whore.” Realizing that was rather harsh, Y/N paused. “It’s just. James wasn’t what I expected. He was thoughtful and I can tell how much he cares about Remus. He didn’t try to impress me. He was funny, yeah, but not in that look at me way he usually is. He was actually very sweet.” 

Her face heated up. She had gotten carried away. Merlin. A quiet moment passed while Emmeline started a soft braid at the side of her head.

“I’m not saying I suddenly want to hang out with them all the time or anything,” Y/N said quickly. “I’m just saying, he’s not terrible.”

She felt Emmeline smile behind her. “So, character development?”

Y/N snorted, her mind flashing to James telling the kids off. “For both of us, apparently.”

Another pause, then Emmeline asked casually, “You still think he’s annoying?”

Y/N tilted her head in thought. “Yes. But maybe in a way that’s not entirely awful.”

They both laughed, and Y/N felt something light settle in her chest. “He didn’t look too terrible in the moonlight either.” 

Emmeline shrieked.

It was half past seven by the time Y/N finally managed to escape Emmeline’s insistence for more details of her night. The castle was quiet, not many students milling about as it was a Saturday. Normally, Y/N would be tucked away in bed with the rest of the Hogwarts population but she needed to check on Remus. 

With their sixth year slowly coming to a close, Y/N had known Remus well for longer than a year now. It didn’t take a stranger to notice that Remus was a rather sickly boy yet that didn’t make her worry any less. 

To be frank, McGonagall had scared her. Yes, James had reassured her that Remus was fine but it was still unnerving. She just needed to check up on him, make sure he was doing okay and getting better. 

Double checking she still had both the chocolates and the flowers, Y/N entered the hospital wing and was instantly bombarded with the smell of potions and spell-cleaned linen. It made her crinkle her nose and walk a little faster towards Remus’ bed. 

Remus Lupin looked pale and exhausted, but sat up to greet her nonetheless. “Y/N?” he said, his voice still hoarse, “What are you doing here?” 

“Here to check on you obviously.” Y/N said softly and sat down the chocolates and flowers on his side table, “I come bearing gifts.” 

Remus chuckled then winced, as if any slight movement would cause him pain. Y/N’s brows knit together. What kind of sickness did Remus have that would make him hurt like that? “Chocolates and flowers! You really do care.” 

She sat on the bed about to nudge him but decided against it and settled on a look, “Of course, I care. McGonagall about scared me half to death when she told me Potter was replacing you as Prefect for the day.” 

“Ah, but you survived.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the smile that grew on her face. “Miraculously. He talks a lot, you know?” 

Remus smirked, and muttered dryly, “I’ve heard rumors. He promised me he would be decent last night. Did he keep his word?” 

Biting her lip to keep from smiling even more than she was now, she thought over last night (as if it hadn’t been all she was thinking of). For some reason her mind kept replaying James looking down at her under the skeptical eyes of Rowena’s statue. “More or less.” Remus didn’t say anything, just continued to observe her as if he expected her to continue. It was all rather unnerving and it didn’t help that her heart started to pound. 

Maybe this was a bad idea. 

“How are you feeling?” Y/N asked, needing to change the subject before her face started to warm. 

Remus just raised a single brow at the change of topic but decided not to push. “I’m much better. Nothing Poppy can’t cure.” 

Y/N giggled, “Poppy? What is with you Marauders and calling every adult in Hogwarts by their first name?” 

Outside the hospital wing, James had just made it up the corridor, a slightly squashed to-go plate of Remus’ favorite breakfast in one hand and tea in the other. 

He’d planned to check on Moony, make sure he was alright. James hadn’t wanted to leave his friends to take care of Remus on their own, especially since Peter’s animagous form was so small. James had only given in after Remus had expressed his concern about Y/N patrolling alone. 

He knew Remus would be expecting him. James has always been an early riser, a blessing and a curse on full moon days when he should be catching up on sleep. Glancing at his watch, James realized he was a lot earlier than normal. If he were being completely honest, his visit wasn’t just for selfless reasons. James also wanted to learn a little more about his patrol partner. He had a surprisingly good time with her and it didn’t help that she was rather beautiful. 

But as he reached the door, he paused. Through the crack he saw her. Sitting next to Remus’s bed, chin resting in her hand, eyes soft with concern. 

She was laughing at something Remus said, her expression warm and unguarded in a way James didn’t think he’d ever seen before.

His heart gave an embarrassing lurch in his chest.

James stepped back from the door. He swallowed hard. Then again, trying to shake the dryness from his throat. His hand clenched slightly around the napkin-wrapped meal.

“Umm, excuse me?”A tiny voice tugged at his sleeve. He blinked down to see a first year Gryffindor, if he remembered right, staring up at him nervously. She fiddled with the hem of her jumper. “Are you James Potter?”

James blinked again, slightly dazed. “I-yeah. Do you need help with something?” She nodded and started to blush, looking more terrified by the second. James tried to smile softly to encourage her. “Well, what do you need help with?” 

She glanced up at him before looking at her feet again, huffing through her teeth. “It’s embarrassing.” 

James cleared his throat and glanced through the crack again to get one more glance at Y/N and Remus before squatting down to the girl's height. “Trust me, I’ve done worse. What’s your name?” 

“Katie.” 

“Alright, Katie. What can I help you with?” 

The small girl puffed her cheeks out before speaking so fast James almost couldn’t process all of it. “I need help flying! This stupid Hufflepuff, Daughtery, won’t stop making fun of me and calling me chicken for not getting on the broom but it’s not my fault the broom won’t listen to me! I am not a chicken, if anything he’s the chicken! He can’t even get up to the Astronomy tower without shaking. I need you to teach me so I can fly circles around him and show him!” 

James tried not to laugh. He forgot what it was like to be eleven. “Right. Definitely can’t let the Hufflepuffs think we’re scared of a broomstick. I’ll see what I can do. Meet me on the pitch Monday afternoon, before 4th period. We’ll start with just holding the broom, yeah?” 

The girl’s face lit up with a mix of gratitude and excitement before she started to squeal and threw herself into James’ arms. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” 

James started to chuckle and patted her head before looking up and seeing the door close behind Y/N. She stepped out looking half distracted, like she was relaying something in her head. When she saw him, she paused. 

He froze too. He hadn’t expected her to come out so soon. 

Their eyes met, and for a second, he forgot how to speak. His throat was dry, heart hammering harder than it had any right to. He was about to nod at her stiffly when Katie dashed away. Now, James was standing there half crouched down, mouth slightly open in shock like an idiot.

To his surprise, Y/N smiled. Not one of those polite, tight-lipped ones. It was warm, like she was about to start laughing. Not at his expense but in amusement at his antics. He wanted to do something, say something impressive but it was like someone had put perfuctus totalus on him. Instead, he watched her go, heart still going a mile a minute and only turned when he heard a low, amused voice from behind him. 

“I can hear your heart beating from here.” 

James spun around, nearly spilling the tea all over himself. Remus was standing in the doorway, propped on the frame with crossed arms and the most infuriatingly smug look on his face. He forgot about Remus’ enhanced senses near the full moon. 

James scowled. “She brought you chocolate, didn’t she?”

“Sure did.”

“Thoughtful.”

“She’s always been thoughtful.” Remus raised a brow. “And don’t say it’s the first year making your heart race, that’s the worst bloody excuse I’ve ever heard.”

James opened his mouth. Closed it again. Looked at the breakfast in his hand like it might offer him support.

Remus grinned. “You’re a goner, mate.”

(A/N; I don’t know how close the herbology building is to the quidditch pitch but pretend they are close for the sake of the storyline. xoxo)

Y/N was early, too early if that was even possible. She had a free fourth period that she spent at the library studying. It seemed she had misjudged the timing of her walk to Herbology and had gotten there before 4th period had even ended. 

Walking over to the bench with a view of the quidditch pitch, she took out her bag and started to read over her herbology notes from the previous class. They were learning about plagnum frot, a magical healing plant that when turned into a fine dust turned poisonous. It was all rather boring but confusing nonetheless. How a plant could heal open wounds when placed upon dry skin but when turned into a powder for a potion became deadly was beyond her. 

She was about to get up to see if Professor Sprout had dismissed her students when she heard a loud scream. Whipping her head around, her mind switched into Perfect mode instantly as she tried to find the source. Please, please, let it not be one of Voldemort’s followers.

She followed where the sound had come from, somewhere inside the Quidditch pitch. Peeking around one of the stands, her eyes landed on a shocking sight. 

James Potter and the little first year from the hospital wing were crowded around what looked like a practice broom. She sucked in a short breath. His voice was soft and understanding as he explained in more detail how to command the broom into her hands. 

The young girl tried again and Y/N knew she should turn to leave for Herbology but she couldn’t force herself to move. She told herself it was just the shock of it. James Potter being a considerate, genuine person who truly cares about others. 

He had been rather considerate with her, a voice in her head commented. She shook her head of her thoughts. 

Y/N bit her lip but decided to stay and observe.

She was just doing her job as a Prefect! She needed to make sure this first year didn’t fly off with the school’s broom! What if she lost control! So many things could go wrong! 

The broom rolled around but still wouldn’t come up into the first year’s hand. She groaned, “It’s not going to work, James.” 

James shook his head, “No, it’s going too. These brooms are old and a bit finicky anyway. Try saying it with more confidence, like you already brought the broom up.” 

The girl nodded and set herself up again. The first year was about to take a deep breath and say the words when a voice murmured behind Y/N, “Didn’t realize Herbology involved broom lessons now.”

Y/N startled and turned sharply, hand flying to her chest. Remus stood a few feet behind her, arms crossed and eyes far too amused for someone who was supposed to still be recovering.

Mentally, she groaned. She knew her face probably screamed guilty! right now. Why? Oh, why did it have to be Remus who caught her. 

“You scared me,” she whispered.

“Apologies. Didn’t mean to interrupt your,” He hesitated with a rather annoying knowing look that she wanted to wipe off his face, “observational research.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, cheeks already warming. Starting to scold herself for staying and second of all blushing, “I was early. Just passing time.”

Remus stepped up beside her, casually leaning against the same wooden beam she had ducked behind. “Mm-hm. And here I thought I was the nosy Prefect.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I am not being nosy.”

“No,” he said with a smirk. “You’re just watching my best friend teach a terrified first year to fly like he’s singing a bloody Celestina Warbeck song.”

“I am not” Y/N cut herself off, grumbling quietly. “Why are you like this?”

“Born this way, tragically,” Remus said lightly, then gave her a sideways glance. “You alright?”

Y/N hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah. I was going to head to class, but she screamed and I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t a” She waved a vague hand. “You know. Issue.”

Remus nodded, the teasing edge in his voice softening. “He’s good with younger students. You wouldn’t expect it.”

Y/N glanced back at the pitch. James was crouched beside the girl now, showing her how to adjust her grip on the broom handle. She was laughing, nervously, still but laughing. Y/N’s eyes softened. It seemed ever since their patrols, James had been surprising her. A month ago she would have never believed that James would be thoughtful enough to take the time out of his day to help a younger student. Now, she would be shocked to find out that he wouldn’t. Y/N was starting to realize that James Potter was the kind of guy to take the shirt off his own back to help out a stranger. 

“Yeah,” Y/N said quietly. “He is.”

They stood there for a moment, watching.

“Oh,” Remus added, almost as an afterthought. “Before I forget, I talked to McGonagall this morning. Poppy still hasn’t cleared me for patrols.”

Y/N blinked. “What? Are you okay?” It was then that she noticed the shimmering beauty charm obviously used to cover up faint bruising on his face. What was going on with him?

“Completely fine,” he assured her. “But it means I’m out for a few more nights, and James is going to take over again.”

The realization hit her like a brick. She was going to be with James Potter again. All alone. Her stomach started to twist. Glancing over to her friend, she was surprised to see him calculating her facial expressions with a rather large smirk. Taking a deep shuddering breath to distract herself (and try to force down her nervous smile) “…Oh.” She cursed her voice for betraying her and coming out unnaturally high. 

“Is that an oh no, an oh yes, or an oh Merlin, I’m doomed?”

She huffed. "It’s a You're the worst.”

“That’s not a denial.”

If Y/N weren’t so concerned about him she would have shoved him. Instead she settled for a glare, “I liked you more when you were pale and quiet in the hospital wing.”

“Liar.”

Down on the pitch, James whooped as the little girl finally got the broom to lift off the ground an inch. His grin was wide, his hair windswept, and her stomach twisted again. She must be hungry or something, maybe she should’ve stopped by the kitchens. 

Remus glanced between her and James, then clucked his tongue. She could already hear the comments and promptly spun around, “I have to go to Herbology.” 

Remus raised a brow, something that seemed to be increasing since James entered her life, “Well, you’re already late then. Fourth period started three minutes ago.”

Y/N looked at her watch then gasped. How was she late? She was never late. The only other time she had ever been late was before Hogwarts. What was Potter doing to her? 

Y/N had been waiting by the third-floor corridor for about three minutes when she heard hurried footsteps and the unmistakable sound of someone nearly slipping on a stone stair.

“Easy, Potter,” she called before he even came into view. “If you fall and break your neck I’m not dragging you to the hospital wing”

James jogged the last few steps, grinning. “You wound me, L/N. Here I am, sacrificing my Saturday night to wander dark halls with you, and you wouldn’t save my poor battered body?”

She arched her brow but a small smile played on her lips. “Sacrificing?”

“I could be doing so many things,” he said dramatically as he stepped up to her. Fortunately, Remus managed to mention that he didn’t need his uniform. Instead he was wearing a Gryffindor red (typical) sweater and light wash jeans. His hair was it’s usual craziness and his glasses slipped down his nose in a way that made her want to whip out her wand and perform a sticking charm.  “You know, I could be Flying. Sleeping. Sneaking into Hogsmeade. C’mon, L/N we could be sneaking into Hogsmeade right now.

“Well, why didn’t you say so.” Y/N deadpanned. “Let’s leave right now.”

For a second James just stared at her, debating whether she was being serious or not.Y/N rolled her eyes, already starting to walk. “Let’s start with the third floor. Peeves has been too quiet lately.”

James fell into step beside her, hands casually tucked into his pockets, posture relaxed, or at least trying to be. Every so often, she caught him glancing at her, like he was waiting for a moment.

“So,” he said eventually, “I was thinking we should have our own little game. Everytime we run into a student you tell something you've never told anyone.”

She gave him a look. “What makes you think I have secrets?”

James leaned in, voice low and conspiratorial. “Everyone has secrets. Even Ravenclaws. Especially Ravenclaws.”

“We Ravenclaws are full of surprises.” 

“I’m beginning to realize that.” James said with surprising sincerity. She glanced over at him to already see his eyes on her. She swallowed. 

“Alright, fine. But if we catch no one, you have to confess something.” This was going to be a very bad idea.

“Deal,” James said immediately. “But just so you know, I’m very mysterious. People think they know me, but beneath this ruggedly handsome exterior-”

She turned to him mid-step, mouth open to interrupt but he beat her to it.

“is a sensitive soul who writes poetry and cries at sunsets.”

She actually laughed at that, and James looked unreasonably proud.

“You would cry at sunsets,” she teased.

He shot her a mock offended look. “Rude. You might regret that when you’re emotionally exposed and I’m just getting started.”

“You won’t last five minutes.”

“Oh, please,” James said, flicking his eyes toward her with a smirk. “I’ve survived six years with Sirius Black. You think you scare me?”

She just gave him an amused look but kept walking. He jogged a step to keep up before spinning on his heel and walking backwards, facing her. This was scaring her half to death, the entire time she kept trying to look over his shoulder (which was impossibly tall) to see if he was going to run into anything. 

“You know,” he added voice softer, gaze shifting to her tentatively as if testing the waters. “you’re not nearly as scary as I thought you were.”

Y/N scoffed. “That’s because I haven’t had to deduct points from you yet.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

She turned to look at him in surprise. This was the James Potter she had been expecting to see yet she was surprised to realize it didn’t annoy her as much as it used to. 

But when she met his eyes, she realized he was already watching her, gaze a bit too steady to be teasing.

And then, with absolutely no hesitation, James added, “Actually, if it’s you taking the points, I might start breaking rules on purpose.”

Y/N’s brain stuttered.

James’ grin faltered. He almost looked as surprised and flustered as her. He spun right back around and she took the time to regain her bearings. 

“I-You-” she stammered, then shot him a death glare. “You’re impossible.”

“And yet, here you are,” he said, utterly smug, seemingly getting his groove back. 

When she peeked up at him again, he was smirking. Obviously back to his golden confidence and casual charm but his eyes were a little more vulnerable than usual, a little less performative.

They stood in silence for a few more seconds before Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Didn’t know you were such a romantic, Potter.”

To be fair James didn't know either. 

So far they hadn’t run into anyone causing trouble just yet. The only person who they had seen was Professor Flitwick who had caused her quite the fright while James failed to keep his amusement down. 

Their last stop was the dungeons, her least favorite part. It seemed it was James’ also by the way he stiffened. As the Slytherin common room came into view she saw his jaw tighten. 

“You okay?” she asked softly. 

James nodded, throwing on a smile. Even though Y/N barely knew him she could tell it was fake. It didn’t reach his eyes, something she shouldn’t know about him. 

“You can stay here and I can patrol real quick, then we can continue on with the rest of the castle.” 

James shook his head with a small smile, “I’m good, L/N. No need to be such a worry wart.” 

Y/N huffed but her lips tugged up anyway, “Alright fine. Then I think we should continue on with our game. We haven’t run into anyone. You’re up for truths, Potter.” 

It was then that they finally reached the entrance to the Slytherin common room. It was like he didn’t even hear her. His chest started to rise and fall quicker. 

Y/N’s brows furrowed, “Potter?” She questioned. 

His eyes flicked toward the stone wall, still and silent, and he pressed his lips together for a long, heavy second. “Being here reminds me.” He trailed off. Y/N bit her lip. This was a terrible idea. What was she thinking trying to distract him with truths? Of course, she would be willing to listen but she didn’t want to pressure him into telling her something he wasn’t comfortable with. 

His eyes flickered towards her and he ran a hand through his hair. “I just wish I had handled some things differently.” 

Y/N tilted her head to the side, knowing Snape was most likely at the forefront of his mind. “What things? Like Severus?” Y/N hadn’t been there during the tree accident when James had purposely bullied and embarrassed Snape but she had heard about it. Merlin, the entire castle had heard about it before dinner that night.

He looked over at her surprised. Then nodded slowly. “Yeah. Him. But not just him.” 

They kept walking, finally passing the slytherin common room and more towards her potions classroom. She didn’t want to pry. Y/N instead waited patiently for him to finish. 

“I think about it a lot,” James admitted, his eyes trained on the ground. “How I used to act. I was an absolute prat and a terrible person and I hurt so many people.” 

Y/N opened her mouth to protest but something about the look on his face made her quiet. “I was so fortunate growing up. I had two amazing parents who not only adored me but made damn sure I knew it. I never really heard no. I’d never met anyone who didn’t like me. And then I met Lily.” His voice dipped. “She hated me and for good reason too. And she was friends with Snivellus. I didn’t get it, how someone like her could choose to spend time with someone who said horrible things about people I cared about.

Sure, Snape sucked. The things he said to Pads about his family, about being in Gryffindor. It made my blood boil. But he wasn’t the only Slytherin who acted like that. Still, I fixated on him. Not to protect Sirius or anyone else. It was like I was proving something to her, maybe myself? I don’t know. It was petty. Cruel. I thought I was the good guy, so what I did couldn’t be wrong, right?”

James shook his head slowly, disgusted with himself. “I thought I was being noble. And then Snape made this comment once, called us privileged. Dismissive, like always. But it stuck.”

He inhaled sharply. “And I am privileged. Always have been. But my friends… they’ve been through things I can’t even wrap my head around.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, not looking at her. “Peter has four younger sisters and a single mum. He’s basically their dad when he’s home, and I know it weighs on him. Pads, Sirius, used to wake up screaming almost every night when he was still with his family. And Remus…”

James trailed off. It was like someone had splashed water on him, essentially waking him out of his stupor. That was when he realized exactly where he was and more importantly, who he was saying all this to. He hadn’t even noticed he’d started to open up. He squeezed his hand so hard in his fist, Y/N was concerned he was going to hurt himself. 

Then James’ mouth opened like he might walk it back, but nothing came out. Because the truth was, he hadn’t meant to go this far. He never talked about this. Not even with the boys. But Y/N, there was something about her that pulled it all out. She had this energy that he is now figuring out is quite dangerous. Somehow, she made him feel safe enough to open up about actions that had been plaguing him for years, thoughts he didn’t even want to admit to himself.

And now, sitting here in the middle of this random corridor, James realized with alarming clarity: He didn’t regret telling her a single word.

“I just” he said quietly, digging his palms into his eyes, “I just feel like a terrible person.”

The silence ate at him. He wondered what she was thinking. He could imagine her face now, disgusted and horrified by his most inner thoughts. Her eyes scanning him up and down, (wondering) what had made him such a terrible person- a narcissistic boy who pitied himself. 

Instead, two warm palms slowly moved his hands away from his face. His hands shook and for a brief second, James fought her. He was too scared to see her expression, too scared to see the disgust that most likely was at the forefront of her mind. 

When he finally gained the courage to open his eyes, he was surprised to see her looking at him with compassion. Her hands didn’t move away from him like he expected her to do, instead she inched her way closer to him, dipping her head down to meet his downcast eyes. “You’re not a terrible person, James.” she breathed. “You’re a very good person, who has made mistakes but works everyday to undo them. That’s not being a terrible person, that's being human.” 

He didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Even if he wanted too, he couldn’t. The words were choked up deep in his chest. He shut his eyes tightly again. He didn’t deserve her sympathy, not after treating others the way he has for the past six years. 

When she finally pulled her hands back, James shuddered. The corridor was quiet again, cold in the way dungeon walls always were but James still felt rather hot. 

James finally opened his eyes but still wasn’t able to look at her. 

“I don’t talk about that stuff,” He said, voice low and hoarse. Then clearing his throat as if to get rid of the words obstructing his airway. “Actually, I think you may be the first person I’ve ever said that out loud too.”

“I had a feeling,” she murmured. “I’m glad you did.”

Now that confused him. If anything he had expected her to at the least look a bit awkward after he dumped that on her, if not running away screaming. “Why?” 

Y/N tilted her head slightly, thinking hard about her answer.“Because… it makes sense now.” 

“What does?” 

“You,” She gave a small, almost bashful shrug. “I think I never really understood you before. You’re loud, sure, and you’re kind of annoying-” 

James huffed out a laugh, the stitch in his chest loosening, “Way to make a guy feel good about himself, L/N.”

“But,” she continued, lips twitching, “you care. A lot. About your friends. About doing the right thing. You’re thoughtful about it also. You just… hide it under all that hair and Quidditch bravado.” 

She didn’t know what made her say it next. Maybe the silence. Maybe the look in his eyes. Maybe the way he had opened up to her in a way she didn’t think he was capable of. 

“I think you’re better than you think you are.”

James almost stumbled, hoping he didn’t look as caught off guard as he felt. He wanted to argue, to deny it, to say something witty and brush the whole moment off. Deep down, a small part of him wanted to believe her, wanted to become someone he was proud of. 

James was proud of himself. He was of the actions he had done to help his friends, of the work he dedicated to quidditch and his studies. Yet, it all paled in comparison to the damage he did that fateful day. The guilt that seemed to catch up to him on bad days and compress on his chest until he felt ill.

“Thank you,” he said, almost shyly. “For… not running away screaming.”

Y/N arched an eyebrow. “Is that what usually happens when you talk about your feelings?”

He grinned, lopsided and sheepish. “Wouldn’t know. This was a first.”

They stood there for a second longer than necessary. Then she nodded toward the stairs. “Come on, Potter. Let’s finish the round.”

James hesitated, just for a second. Then he followed and muttered, just loud enough for her to hear, “You know, you really are terrible at elbowing.” 

He was thankful for the interference. All of this opening up made him rather tired. It wasn’t a bad tired, just sleepiness. Like the exhaustion after a day of fun and drinking at the beach. Warm and content.

She glanced at him, caught the teasing smile playing on his lips, and couldn’t stop her own. “Yeah? Well, next time, I won’t hold back.”

James’ grin widened. “Promise?”

She didn’t answer, just bumped her shoulder into his as they started up the stairs.

Y/N hadn’t seen James the past few days. Which was ironic really. After having spent years going out of her way to avoid his presence and now she was actively seeking him out. His words, and worse, her lack of response kept replaying in her head. It was getting rather bothersome. She couldn’t get over the fact that James had let himself open up to her and all she could do was tell him he wasn’t a bad person. She didn’t even hug him for Rowena’s sake! 

Bidding her DADA partner goodbye, she sped walked to the Great Hall. She had been so deep inside her head this morning that she managed to miss breakfast. 

Turning the corner, the Ravenclaw was abruptly stopped. Her bag had caught on what looked like an old iron wall sconce. The kind that still held enchanted torches, because of course Hogwarts couldn’t have normal lighting. Why it was so low was beyond her. 

Muttering under her breath, she fumbled to free the strap. That’s when she heard it. A voice too familiar to mistake. 

“You would trauma dump on the poor girl, Prongs. That's bloody hilarious.” Her heart picked up. Were they talking about her? 

She hurriedly tried to unravel it quickly, but it seemed her nerves slowed her brain down. Her hands only made the knot worse. Come on, come on, come on. If Sirius was close enough that she could hear him that meant James Potter was too. 

Finally releasing it, she finished turning the corner. James walked towards her, looking more and more irritated by a Sirius Black laughing so hard he was clutching the wall for support. 

It felt like her stomach had hopped on a broom for the first time and bounced around her stomach. Gripping the strap tight, she smiled, “Hey James!” 

James’ head whipped around, Sirius broke into a louder wheeze. As soon as his eyes landed on Y/N, his hand shot through his hair. She smiled brighter at his reaction, and he made a step towards her before walking right through Nearly Headless Nick. 

She gasped. 

Sirius’ face turned a concerning red from cackling; she was scared he was going to hurt himself. 

Nick let out a shocked, “Oh!” 

Sirius howled so hard he sank to the floor, tears streaming down his cheeks. “He walked through Nick! He walked right bloody through him-” 

“Mr.Potter!” Nearly-Headless-Nick chuckled, unbothered. “If you wished to greet me, you could’ve simply said hello!” 

James froze, horrified. “I-Nearly-I wasn’t-” 

Finally giving up, James turned to his best friend, “Sirius. Get up.” he snapped, extending a hand towards Black, who was now gripping his stomach.

“I can’t-” Sirius hiccupped between gasps. “Oh Merlin, I’ve never wanted one of those Muggle cameras more in my life. Your face-” 

Y/N couldn’t help it. She giggled. James looked so flustered, so utterly mortified, and Sirius was practically on life support from laughter. It was one of the most ridiculous things she’d ever seen and yet somehow it made her stomach twist in that annoying way again.

She gave a little wave, deciding to spare James further humiliation. “See you around, Potter.”

She turned and walked off, biting her lip to suppress the giant smile creeping onto her face.

“Bye, Y/N! See you Wednesday!” James called after her.

A beat of silence.

THUD.

She glanced over her shoulder just in time to see him trip over Sirius’ sprawled legs. Sirius screeched. 

Exams were coming faster than ever and Y/N was stressed. She was feeling a bit overwhelmed, between her perfect duties, exams, trying to pack for summer, and deal with her newly developing feelings for a certain someone, she felt safe to say it was deserved. The only thing she was looking forward to was Summer and her last patrol with Remus. This entire week she has been rehearsing what questions she was going to ask him about James. She had to say it in a super casual chill way, you know, since her feelings were super casual and chill. 

Fortunately it was twenty minutes until she had to go meet him and Y/N allowed herself an early break from studying. 

“Where are you going?” Emmeline asked as Y/N started packing her things. 

“Back to the dorm. I need to put my books back before I go patrol with Remus.” 

“Oh.” Emmeline said with a mischievous smile creeping onto her face. “I forgot that was today.” 

Y/N laughed, she certainly hadn’t. Not when Y/N had been blabbing about it constantly when they weren’t studying. 

“Well, good luck.” Emmeline murmured, turning back to her books-a clear example of how focused she was. If it had been any other week, she knew her friend would have forsaken her grades to talk about what she was planning to ask Remus. 

She left Emmeline to study, hurried back to put her books in her room and went outside the common room to wait for Remus. She was running the teeniest bit early which was good as she wanted to determine how she was going to casually ask the Gryffindor if James had mentioned her at all. Remus was annoyingly perceptive and if Y/N was going to get around him, she had to be perfect. 

It seemed she didn’t need to wait any longer as footsteps echoed down the hall. 

She spun around with a wide grin, mouth open to greet Remus. Instead of an excited hello, a strange noise came out of Y/N’s mouth as she registered the scene in front of her. 

“James? What? What are you doing here? You know you can’t be out after curfew.” 

He grinned and winked at her. “Guess you’ll just have to report me then.” 

“Seriously, Potter. What are you doing here?” 

James took a step towards her and smiled bashfully, “Remus has three finals tomorrow. I offered to take his place tonight. He told me to give you this.” James handed her a note that she was 99.9 percent sure he helped himself to a look through. 

Y/N, 

Sorry you know how I am at Potions. I need to pass to get to NEWTS level for some godforsaken fucking reason. Will buy you a butterbeer next time I see you. 

P.S. The bloke practically jumped through a wall to say yes to patrolling with you. Bloody wanker he is.

Hope he doesn’t talk your ear off, 

               Remus Lupin

Y/N couldn’t help the giant smile growing after his note. Glancing up at James she caught him trying to read over her shoulder. Maybe he hadn’t snuck a glance. Immediately, she shoved the paper to her chest giving him a scandalous look.  “And what do you think you’re doing?” 

James grinned even wider, “Being nosy.” 

“Honestly,” She scoffed, “C’mon, Potter. Let’s get a move on.” 

“Yes, M’aam.” He said with a mock salute. 

“How’s your face feeling?” 

James gave her a confused look. 

“I was a little concerned when I turned around to see you sprawled over Sirius’ lap, arse in the air and face in the ground like some kind of swingers party.” 

James barked out a laugh, “You saw that?” 

“It was hard not too after Sirius started to literally scream-laugh. I didn’t know someone could make that sound.” 

“I didn’t know either after your little squeal earlier when I showed up instead of Moony.” 

He got her there. She gave him a playful glare and kept walking, maybe a bit faster than he was used to. James had to speed up to catch up. 

“How’s finals going?” 

Y/N sighed, her thoughts drifting off to the studying she could and probably should be doing, “Going. Somehow. Exams. Packing. You know, trying to maintain a strand of sanity.” 

“You’ll be brilliant.” James said, sounding so sure that it caught her off guard. “You always are.” 

Her face started to burn. What was Potter trying to do? Kill her? 

“Thanks, Potter.” 

James poked her with a teasing smile, “You just look like you haven’t slept is all.” 

“And you look like you just woke up,” She scoffed, gesturing to his hair. 

He gasped and placed a hand to his chest, “You wound me, L/N. My hair’s a lifestyle.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes when suddenly her stomach growled. James raised a brow, “You hungry?” 

Y/N smiled sheepishly. She hated when her stomach decided to act up when it was quiet. It was always so embarrassing. “Maybe a little.” 

James grinned and promptly took a left. Y/N stood there for a second confused on where they were going. “Potter! North Wing is this way! Where are you going?” 

James didn’t answer, just continued marching his way down to wherever he was going. She bit her lip. This was going to get her in trouble. If they got caught, how on Earth was she going to be able to explain why she was forgoing her rounds and following James Potter deep into the heart of the castle. 

Despite her anxiety spiking she sprinted after him. 

When she finally caught up to him, he was standing in front of a fruit bowl portrait. “Jame-Potter. What?” 

Cutting her off, he threw an arm around her. His smile was blinding, all of his attention on her. Her stomach started to flip uncomfortably.  “Get ready to be amazed, L/N.” 

She wanted to protest. She really, truly did. She knew this was wrong but the way he was looking at her right now brought any objection out of the window. “But patrols.” She protested weakly. 

“I’m sure Flitwick would understand if we took a quick break to eat.” Y/N knew deep down that it would definitely not slide but right now it sounded like a decently good argument. “C’mon. When’s the last time you ate, love?” 

Her breath hitched at the nickname. It was then that his cologne hit her. She was a goner. He grinned as he took her silence for acceptance and tickled the pear when suddenly a small meow broke the atmosphere around them. 

James stiffened, “That’s Ms.Norris.” 

Her brain was too slow to catch up, still fogged with the fact that Potter’s arm had just been around her shoulders. “Wait-we’re Prefects, James? We’re fine.” 

“I’m not,” he whispered, eyes darting toward the sound of Filch’s muttering. “Remus didn’t tell McGonagall. We need to go now.”

Before she could argue, his hand closed firmly around her own. His hand basically swallowed hers. He was surprisingly warm, hand slightly calloused from quidditch. She couldn’t help but stare at the difference in size between them. 

Suddenly it hit her what was going on, her eyes widened as she was jerked into a running start. Her heart started to pound. 

This couldn’t be happening. She was going to lose her Prefect badge!

James, still ahead of her, looked back with a contagious grin on his face.

Alright, maybe this wasn’t so bad. 

Her chest started to feel lighter. Before she knew it she started to giggle along. The whole thing was rather riveting. Her lungs burned yet she didn’t even notice too enraptured by the excitement of it. 

Suddenly she started to hear a loud wheeze then muttering. Her heart skipped. Filch.

“Shit,” James muttered, a breathless laugh coming out in spite of their situation. He spotted a suit of armor and a dark alcove just beside it. “In here.”

Y/N barely had time to register what was happening before she was pulled into the tiny space. James shoved the cloak hanging on the wall to the side and shoved them both flat against the stone. Her back hit the wall with a soft thud, and James rushed in right after her, one arm braced on the stone beside her head, the other still holding her hand. 

James's entire body crowded her in a way that he stole all her attention. Her environment entirely captivated by James. James. James.

The way he looked rather annoyingly beautiful at this moment. His cheeks flushed from sprinting. Hair fluffed in a way that always made her want to run her hands through it.  His strong jawline clenched as his eyes roamed her face. Eyes sparkling with mischief but looking at her with such warmth. The way his Adam's apple bobbed at the closeness between them. 

She could feel his breath fan across her cheeks, rapid and warm. 

Merlin, they were close. Much, much too close. Yet she needed him closer still. 

Her heart skipped a beat as James squeezed her hand in reassurance. 

Outside, Filch’s muttering grew closer. 

Neither of them breathed.

The footsteps paused. Right in front of them. 

Y/N instinctively pressed closer, her nose brushing against the collar of his shirt and hands landing on his chest. She could feel his heartbeat hammering under her fingers, uneven and frantic. For one absurd second, she couldn’t tell if it was his or hers. 

“What is it, my sweet?” sounded the nasally voice of the caretaker in the hallway. Her heart pounded in sync with Filch’s wheezes. Bloody Mouth-Breather. 

Ms.Norris meowed loudly and suddenly she heard purring. She shut her eyes tight then opened them, realizing her lips were less than centimeters from the curve of his collarbone. 

Her heart started to pound. With a recklessness she didn’t know she possessed, Y/N let her lips graze the curve of his neck. James’ breath hitched, chest shuddering from the contact. 

She wanted to do it again, craved that reaction again.

Instead, she lifted her gaze. 

James was already looking down at her. His eyes, usually so easy to read, were hazy and dark. She watched them flicker down-once, twice- to her mouth. She felt him start to breathe quicker, felt his heart beat faster.

Her stomach swooped. Is he really going to-. Her mind went blank.

His fingers had ghosted from her wrist to her waist, slow and cautious, like he was testing the idea of touching her at all. 

He leaned in. Just a fraction. Close enough that she felt his nose graze hers, soft and maddening. 

If he kisses her, Emmeline will never let her live this down. 

If he doesn’t kiss her, she’ll never recover. 

Mrs. Norris hissed somewhere down the hall.

Filch cursed, the footsteps turned, and slowly retreated.

They didn’t move. James’ eyes still stayed glued to her lips but Y/N knew deep down the moment had passed, even if she didn’t want it too.

Y/N’s heart sunk, and shut her eyes again tightly. “I think they’re gone.” she murmured

“Yeah,” His voice was caught, like he hadn’t found it fully yet. He stepped back and ran a hand through his hair.

The silence stretched again. 

Then, all of the sudden, James stepped back into her personal space again. His leg brushed against hers and her breath caught. “Y/N,” he breathed, almost too quietly to hear. He looked to be teetering on the edge of confession.

“Oi! Who’s there?”

They both jumped at once, James scrambling out from behind the statue. Peeves cackled as he floated by.

She exhaled a shaky breath and let her head lean against the wall. Her heart pounded so loud in her chest she couldn’t hear anything else. Y/N couldn’t believe what had just happened. Her lips still tingled maddeningly.

James cleared his throat. She opened her eyes to see him staring at her deeply. Her nails scratched against the stone wall before pushing herself off. She didn’t know what to do. How to act in this situation. Does she confront him? No, she was no lion and most certainly did not have the courage to do that. 

James let the curtain fall with a swish and Y/N reached out to fasten it around the armor. 

“My Rowena, doesn’t anyone ever sleep in this castle?” She asked, her voice sounding unusually high and let out a shaky laugh that sounded similar to a wheeze. 

Ignorance is bliss. Right?

“Well, Peeves can’t technically sleep so.” James said then instantly grimaced. 

She laughed awkwardly, her heart still thundering in her chest. She just wished this tingling feeling would stop so she could get her mind back together. “Back to patrolling?” she asked, her voice still not sounding like herself.

“Right,” James said after a beat, clearing his throat and running a hand through his hair. “Right. Patrol.”

They walked side by side in silence, a little too far apart. She stole a glance at him, his brow was furrowed deeper than she had ever seen. His uniform was wrinkled and tie strewn aside. Her heart jumped at the thought of his uniform being disheveled for other reasons. For reasons that almost just happened.

Suddenly, James stopped abruptly and Y/N realized they were face to face with the Rowena statue. 

“Goodnight, L/N.” James said and made his way to the Gryffindor tower. Y/N tried to listen to the riddle, but her mind was elsewhere. She was still mentally still stuck in the broom closet. 

Later that night after she had gotten ready for bed there was a steaming cup of tea and the food she always reached at the Great Hall on Thursdays. 

How? She reached for the note next to the plate. Her stomach growled in protest. 

Can’t have you go to bed starving. Make sure to take care of yourself. You work too hard. 

James P.

All of a sudden summer fell into autumn. September 1st had crept its way into her life and before she knew it she was about to climb aboard the Hogwarts Express for the last time. It was a rather weird feeling that settled deep into her chest, one that had been creeping its way in this Summer. Her childhood was almost over. The entire life that she had been building since 11 was about to come to an end. 

Somehow Emmeline didn’t look as melancholic as she felt. 

If anything her best friend was practically vibrating as she shook Y/N’s arm in excitement, “I am so happy to be rid of Mum and Dad. Oh my god, you’d think their entire lives revolved around what job I’m going to get after graduation. I was going to go crazy staying there a second longer.” 

Y/N managed a smile at that even if her stomach was still twisted, “Then in a week I don’t want to hear you moaning about how much you miss them.” 

Emmeline scoffed, tugging her suitcase toward the train. “Doubt it.” Emmeline hopped onto the train but Y/N held back a little bit. 

The excited shouts of friends being reunited, the screech of the train, the smell of steam drifting through the wind-all of it wrapped around her like a memory she wasn’t quite ready to let go of. Y/N shut her eyes and tried to let it all sink in. She needed to take a mental picture, so when she was all old and wrinkled she could remember simpler times of meeting up with her best friend and hoping a certain Gryffindor had her on his mind as much as he was on hers. 

When she opened her eyes, Emmeline was giving her an amused but soft look. 

“Ready?” 

She took in a deep breath and nodded, hauling her trunk aboard. 

Fortunately, the first carriage they landed on was empty, a rather large feat considering they weren’t very early. 

“Also! I forgot to tell you!” Emmeline exclaimed as she helped her put the trunk up, “My Dad told me that they almost named me Bulstrode! Could you imagine!?” 

Y/N stepped back with a revolted look on her face, “That’s actually insane.” 

“I know! Apparently it was Dad’s grandma’s name or something. I don’t really remember I was too horrified at almost being named Bulstrode.” 

“It’s almost like they wanted you to be bullied.” 

She rolled her eyes, “Rowena, I know. Thank Merlin Mom put a stop to it!” 

Y/N shuddered when Emmeline went quiet, staring at something over her shoulder. Turning around she was met with the sight of an abnormally shy looking Lily Evans peeking into the compartment. Y/N waved her in with a small smile. She didn’t know Lily well but she was always sweet. Plus, she heard from Crouch that Evans got Head Girl and she was rather curious who Head Boy was. She knew it wasn’t Barty or Remus after owling them over the Summer. 

“Hi Lily! Have a good Summer?” 

She smiled and flicked her beautiful hair over her shoulder. Lily Evans was unfairly stunning but also was incredibly kind, something that did not always go hand in hand. 

“The best! Yours?” 

“Can’t complain,” Emmeline commented in agreement after her.

“It’s rather weird being here now that it’s our last time.” 

Y/N nodded and wrinkled her nose. “I know. I don’t like it very much.” 

Lily laughed, “Me either. Anyway, I wanted your advice about something.” 

Y/N raised her brows but patted the seat next to her regardless. What Lily needed advice about was beyond her. The only person who she knew ran in the same circle as her was Remus. Her and Remus had been friends for years, it couldn’t be about him. Could it? 

She settled into her seat and started to pick at her mood changing polish that was now a bright green-anxiety. “I need your advice about Potter.” 

Y/N furrowed her bows in confusion. James? Her heart started to pick up at the mention of him. “Erm, okay. I don’t really know how I can help you with that but shoot!”  

“As you know, he got Head Boy-” 

“Potter’s Head Boy!” Emmeline exclaimed exactly what Y/N was thinking. Y/N sucked in her lips. Potter, Head Boy? Her mind scrambled. That meant she was going to see him soon. Very very soon. Y/N didn’t feel very prepared, especially since she hadn’t seen him since they had almost kissed. 

Lily rolled her eyes, taking Y/N’s silence as agreement in her annoyance, “I know! I don’t know what the Professors were thinking! I mean he wasn’t even a Prefect.” 

Y/N and Emmeline looked at each other. When she looked back at Lily, she was watching the exchange with narrowed eyes. Fortunately she let it go. It wouldn’t be the worst thing if Lily found out but it wasn’t exactly Y/N’s secret to tell. “Anyway, Remus told me that you used to hate Potter and now you guys are friends and I wanted to know if you had any advice for getting along with him. Godric! I could barely stand him before but now I have to work with him!” 

Y/N smiled sympathetically, just about everyone knew how much Lily disliked James,“He’s really not that bad. He can be rather thoughtful and sweet. I would tone him out occasionally. You know he does love to blab.” Y/N rolled her eyes, a warm smile taking over. “He’s matured a lot, Lily. You would be surprised.” 

Lily stared at her with a deadpan expression. Clearly, she was having trouble believing her. “Well, I’ll take your word for it. Thanks, L/N.” She got up and made her way out of the compartment, “Prefect meeting’s in a half hour. See you there!” 

The second she shut the door, Emmeline rounded on Y/N, “Potter’s Head Boy! I know you guys are meant to be!” 

An hour or two later, Emmeline and Y/N had gotten sandwiches from the trolley lady and ran into multiple seventh years. Much to her displeasure, some of the other Ravenclaws in her year had joined them in their compartment. No offense to the rest of the Ravenclaw girls in her year but she only wanted Emmeline to know about her almost kiss with Potter. 

Her watch buzzed on her wrist, she needed to leave if she wanted to change into her robes before the meeting. She sighed, she had really been hoping to talk to Emmeline alone. 

Normally, Y/N wouldn’t have minded telling the other two girls in her year what was going on but Y/N felt rather protective about this. It was personal, special to her. She didn’t want their opinions or judgements. Even worse, having it go around the house if one of them chose to blab.

Y/N bid goodbye to them quickly, and raced to the bathrooms. 

Ten minutes later, she was setting down her stuff in the usual Ravenclaw area of the compartment. Y/N got out her ink and quill along with parchment just in case Lily and James, well most likely Lily, wanted to change anything this year. Despite trying to calm herself down by taking deep breaths through her nose, her stomach was cramping uncomfortably. 

Knowing that she was about to see Potter in a few minutes was terrifying. She had been imagining how this would go down the entire Summer yet she didn’t feel at all prepared for the encounter. Would he mention anything? Her stomach twisted at the thought. Would he not mention anything at all? Y/N knew she would be devastated if he chose to ignore it. Somehow that was worse. 

She sighed and tried to shake her thoughts away. There was no use in worrying like this. He was just a boy. A very pretty, thoughtful boy but just a boy nonetheless.

Y/N opened her ink pot and wrote down the date, her name, and was just finishing up the title when a voice spoke up and scared her so bad that she crossed a line down the page. 

“You know, I’ve never understood why you wrote your name on your notes, L/N.” 

James leaned his body weight on his hands on both sides of her desk, effectively caging her in without even realizing it. He smelled faintly of broom polish and mint, like he had flown here. Y/N wouldn’t be surprised if he did. Her chest tightened uncomfortably. 

Y/N only let herself get a quick glance at him. She was feeling suddenly shy and couldn’t bring herself to meet his warm gaze. What was he doing here so early?

Her quill slipped again in her fingers, ink botting the corner of her parchment. Perfect. Exactly the impression she wanted to make. 

“I like things to be organized,” she tried to reply evenly, whipping out her wand to perform a quick scourgify. She took her time to perform the spell, only to allow her mind to respite and catch up with the scene in front of her. “Just in case I lose them, hopefully someone will give them back to me.” 

“You know, I’ve never lost my notes.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes, a small smile playing at her lips, “You don’t take notes, Potter.” 

“Exactly,” James said, his dimple flashing. He tapped his forehead, “How can I lose them when they are all in here?” 

“Some of us aren’t blessed with photographic memories.” 

He paused, his grin boyish and teasing. He shifted closer, lowering his voice conspiratorially, “You know, I wasn’t sure how long it would take you to notice, but-” he tapped the Head Boy badge with mock pride, “surprise.” 

Y/N pursed her lips, even as warmth crept unbidden up her neck. “Yes, I know.” 

James pulled back, his brows furrowed, “What? I told Remus not to tell you.” 

Y/N raised her bows. Maybe she didn’t have to kill Lupin after all. “No, Evans warned me.” 

“Warned you?” he repeated, clutching his chest as though mortally wounded. “That hurts, L/N. Here I was, expecting congratulations and maybe even a celebratory hug.”

She rolled her eyes, fighting the tug of a smile. “You? Head Boy? I’m still waiting for someone to shout ‘April Fool’s’.”

His laughter startled her—low, warm, nothing like the obnoxious whoops he used to let out on the Quidditch pitch. For a fleeting moment, it softened the sharp lines of his face, made him look…different. Older. It was then that Y/N allowed her eyes to wander, take in how well Summer had treated him. He had somehow managed to get tanner, if that was even possible which made his already warm chocolate eyes brighter. He had grown a few inches and his shoulders had gotten broader. She certainly wasn’t complaining. 

Before she could think too much about it, the compartment door slid open and in stepped Barty Crouch Jr., parchment already in hand. His sharp eyes flicked between her and James, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. 

“Well, well,” Barty drawled, dropping into the seat beside Y/N without asking. “Didn’t expect to find you keeping Potter company, L/N. Thought you had more sense than that.” 

James’ grin vanished, his jaw tightening as he straightened. “Crouch.” 

“Potter,” Barty returned smoothly, then angled his body toward Y/N, “So, how’s my favorite Potions partner? Ready for Slughorn to bore us senseless again this term?” 

Y/N laughed lightly, though her stomach squirmed at the way James’ hands tightened on the edge of her desk. “I suppose I’m ready.” she murmured, glancing at James underneath her lashes. 

His jaw tightened as he stared at Crouch with distaste. He then pushed himself off her desk with feigned nonchalance, muttering, “Meeting’s starting soon.” It was the look he gave after, lingering a little too long that had Y/N’s heart beating almost painfully. 

She took in a deep breath and tapped her quill against her parchment, “James,” she called, ignoring Barty’s questioning look.

He spun around so fast his knee almost bumped into the desk that he was walking past. Y/N hummed in amusement, “Congratulations.” 

Y/N held back, her shoulder resting against the wall of the Prefect compartments as she watched everyone exit. 

Finally, after Y/N was about to go bursting in there after watching basically everyone leave did James come out. His eyebrows raised in surprise at seeing her, then he ran a hand through his hair before stuffing it in his pockets. A nervous tell.

“So, we’re partners for almost every patrol, Potter. I wonder how that happened.” 

James smirked, though there was the faintest flicker of vulnerability in his eyes, “Head privileges.” 

Y/N nodded trying to keep her giant smile at bay, “Makes sense.” 

He took a step towards her, his elbow grazing her own, and his voice dropped lower. “I’m sorry-if this makes you uncomfortable I can tell Lily and we can switch-” 

“No!” Y/N blurted far too quickly. Her cheeks burned as she stammered,“I mean-no. Just… um. I don’t mind.” 

Her cheeks burned and for one terrifying moment she thought he’d laugh. Instead James smiled down at her softly, almost shyly. Y/N slowly let herself timidly smile back.

“Okay,” he nodded slowly. 

“Okay.” she parrotted softly, looking at him under her lashes. They kept the contact up for a few seconds before Y/N felt heat creep into her cheeks again. 

She looked down and put her hair behind her ear, “I need to go find Barty so we can patrol.” 

James' face darkened. “We can always start patrol partners now, you know. We have plenty of practice from last year.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes but squeezed his forearm in reassurance anyway, “Bye, James.” She murmured and made her way where she saw her fellow Ravenclaw take off.

She didn’t need to look back to know that James’ eyes hadn’t strayed from her as she walked away. 

Y/N was one of those rather annoying people who enjoyed school, particularly the start of school term. The excitement of seeing her friends, learning about the new subjects she got to take, the smell of the library. 

Even more specifically, Autumn was her favorite season. She loved the weather, the study sessions cuddled in warm sweaters, the Saturday quidditch matches. 

Y/N always got up early during the start of the term. She loved to walk around the grounds and take in the falling leaves and the slight chill in the air. Afterwards she would slowly eat her breakfast and incorporate some honey and cinnamon into her morning tea. 

Her morning routine was one of her favorite parts of her day. 

Yet lately, Y/N had noticed another aspect was slowly taking over 1st place. Double Potions, surprisingly, was steadily becoming her most looked-forward-to event. 

Y/N enjoyed potions. Sure, it wasn’t her best subject but it wasn’t her worst either and something amusing seemed to always happen during that lesson. Yet this year still took the cake. The Ravenclaws had NEWT Double Potions with the Gryffindors this year. 

Today was a Thursday, meaning she had DADA, Charms, Arthimacy, lunch, then finally Double Potions. 

The lab was brighter than normal this time of day, with the afternoon light somewhat filtering through the clerestory windows. Smoke eased its way off the potion on Slughorn’s desk, giving the room a slight rosemary aroma. 

She set down her bag at her desk and got up to go grab the cauldron when Barty walked in, already carrying the pewter basin. 

He set it down with a bang and Y/N couldn’t help but raise a brow, “Why on Merlin’s mad mankind would you ever carry that around all day?” 

Barty rolled his eyes, “You should be thanking me, L/N.” 

“Um, thank you?” 

“You’re welcome.” Barty huffed, “I caught some bloody slytherins trying to use our cauldron the other day. The audacity."

Y/N’s lips perked up, though she was thankful.“Even though you’re basically one of them.” 

Barty gave her a look, “Don’t start, L/N. I just carried around a cauldron all day. You won’t get a more devoted potions partner than that.” 

Y/N tried to bite down a giggle and leaned over to look at her lecture notes from Monday, trying to remember what ingredients she needed for the lab. “Lucky me.” 

Barty smirked, “Only for you.” 

Y/N was about to lean forward and make a snarky comment back when she picked up an unnervingly familiar voice. She could practically feel James. It was odd, even having not looked back when she heard his voice as he entered the classroom she could pinpoint the exact spot he was sitting. In the back of her mind she picked up Barty letting out a barely there disappointed sigh. 

“Unless you’re Potter in love.” Barty spat, not looking at her. 

Y/N shot him a look back, “I’m gonna go get the ingredients.” 

She rolled her eyes, yet Barty had a point. James had never been one for nonchalance unless it was about pranks. Recently, he had developed a habit of coming up to them before, during, and after class. 

Grabbing her list of ingredients, Y/N walked over to the potions section. She passed Lily on her way, who of course had all of them already with perfect measurements. 

Y/N glanced at the ingredients on her list, deciding to start out with the essence of moonshine. She only needed a quarter of it, should be easy enough. 

She scanned the shelves, fingers trailing along glass jars until she found the essence of moonshine. Just as she reached for it, the air behind her shifted. She didn’t need to turn. She knew. Y/N bit back a smile.

Her hand hovered over the moonshine when a hand grabbed the bottle next to her. “You always reach for the wrong one first.” James said softly, his voice warm and amused. 

A smirk tugged at her mouth before she faced him. “You always sneak up on me.” 

James stepped closer, “Don’t act like you didn’t hear me. You always do. Just like on patrol last week, when I tried to catch you off guard near the staircase. You didn’t even flinch just told me to ‘walk quieter next time, Potter.’”

Y/N rolled her eyes, though her lips betrayed her with a twitch. “You were stomping down the corridor like a hippogriff before you almost fell on the last step. Hardly subtle.”

He leaned in a fraction, lowering his voice. “And yet you still smiled at me when you said it.”

His eyes looked deep into hers and she huffed before whirling around. She needed Solomon-. What was it called again? She knew this. Afterall, she had only been using the ingredient since first year. If only Potter wasn’t so distracting. 

James laughed softly behind her and tugged on the ends of her hair, “Give me your basket, L/N.” 

Y/N turned her head and instead held her basket closer to her. She glanced at him with narrowed eyes, suspiciously. “Why?” 

James lifted the ingredients in his hands with a crooked grin. Y/N scanned the ingredients in his hands. He had two of each. “Potter, what?” 

He steadily started to unload the ingredients tucked into his left arm in her basket. “I know you can’t reach these so I saved you the embarrassment of asking me. You can still thank me though.” 

Y/N’s chest fluttered. Rowena, why did he have to be so thoughtful and sweet? Y/N glanced up at him after analyzing the products. His gaze turned shy after her eyes met his. “Are they all from-” 

“Yes, L/N. They are all from the top shelf. I know you only get the freshest ingredients.” 

Y/N’s hold on her ingredients container tightened. The only person who knew that about her was Emmeline and Barty; and Barty only knew because they had been potions partners since first year. Sure, it wasn’t exactly a secret. Yet Potter could only know that if he paid very close attention to her. 

“How-how did you know?” 

James looked at her with a confused expression, “Everyone knows Slughorn stocks the freshest ingredients at the top.”

Y/N adjusted her container to her hip, “No, how did you know I prefer the newer ingredients?” 

James' eyes widened, “O-oh,” colour started to climb up his neck. 

Slughorn then clapped his hands together, signaling class was about to start. She should have been back in her seat minutes ago yet she hesitated, wanting to know James' answer. 

But he just threw a hand in his hair, not quite meeting her eyes. She let out a light laugh and stepped closer to him, putting her hand on his arm. He looked up at her in surprise, “It’s okay. I noticed you not caring about how fresh your ingredients are.” 

James had the gall to look offended as if they both didn’t know Sirius was strangely good at potions and did most of the heavy lifting between the both of them. “I’ll have you know-” 

Y/N took a step right into his personal space and she was relieved to see he was just affected by their closeness as she was. “Mhm, what would you have me know, Potter?” 

A ghost of a smirk teased his lips, “I’ll have you know, I don’t need the freshest ingredients and I’ve still managed to get an O every year. Besides,” his smirk turned cocky, as he stepped even closer to her. “Watching you fuss over shelves is far more entertaining.” 

Y/N huffed, narrowing her eyes at him, “That’s because Sirius does all the work.” 

James shot back, appalled, she only laughed at his reaction. “You should let me carry that,” James said after finally getting his wits back, nodding at the basket of ingredients in her hands.

“I think I’ll survive.”

Suddenly, Slughorn was in front of them. Y/N had forgotten she was in potions class and she started to notice her classmates giggling as they eyed her and Potter. Y/N flushed. “Potter, L/N if you two don’t mind, I would like to start class now.” To her horror, Slughorn looked just as amused as the rest of them did. “As much as I love the bloom of young love, the Draught of Peace requires much time to finish.” 

Y/N flushed, her lips parting in shock as the giggles around them grew. She made a beeline back to her seat, heart hammering.

James only smirked, taking his time as though Slughorn hadn’t just put the spotline on them. “Of course, Professor,” he said smoothly.

But his cool didn’t last. In his effort to sneak one last glance at her, his foot clipped the leg of a stool and he stumbled, barely catching himself on a desk. Laughter rippled through the classroom, she was sure she even heard Sirius whoop.

Slughorn chuckled, utterly unfazed. “Careful there, Potter. It seems young love can be more hazardous than potions.”

Y/N wanted the dungeon floor to open up beneath her. James only grinned, cheeks pink, and shot her one last look before finally sinking into his seat.

A/N; Practice during patrol time obviously doesn’t happen but just roll with it for the sake of the plot please! I didn’t think that part through don’t hate me! 

Y/N had a love-hate relationship with the Ravenclaw common room. Her common room was beautiful, the ceiling charmed to look like the sky once the sun went down, the bookcase covering every inch of wallspace that wasn’t taken up by windows. However, as much as the room was her happy space it was also the bane of her existence. Trying to get a seat was near impossible. It seemed as if every time she was determined to try to study there, every seventh year and first year had claimed every available spot, leaving nothing for the rest of the grades. It was infuriating. 

However, it seemed luck was in her favor or Rowena knew how badly she needed a space to study after the library failed her. Somehow there was a spot right next to the fireplace that stood in the center of the room. Darting over to make sure no one got there before her, she spread her bag, textbooks, anything she could find in her bag to claim it. Satisfied, she raced upstairs to her dorm to grab Emmeline. 

Fortunately, Emmeline was coming down right as she was going up. 

“Emmeline!” Y/N all but screeched and grabbed her hand, dragging the poor girl down the stairs, “We have to hurry!” 

“Slow down! What is going on?” Emmeline tried to keep up without falling on her face. Once they finally made it down to the room, her best friend started to understand. She whipped around to her best friend, “How?” 

Y/N shrugged and sank into the couch, “Rowena blessed me, I don’t know.” 

Emmeline laid down, stretching her legs over Y/N’s lap. She put her hands together in prayer, “Bless you, Rowena.” 

“Are you praying?” 

Emmeline rolled her eyes and got out her nail polish, “Please, you know I’m not religious.” 

“If you say so.” Y/N laughed and grabbed the book she needed to study for her upcoming Charms quiz. 

The afternoon flew by. Y/N only got distracted a few times, mostly Emmeline asking her something and catching her mind drift off to think about a certain someone. Before she knew it, Y/N was glancing at her watch to catch the time. Her stomach swooped. Somehow it read 8:45, fifteen minutes until the start of her patrol. 

She took a deep breath. Her butterflies were going wild. 

Probably sensing her best friend's upset, Emmeline glanced up at her, “Are you sure you don’t want me to paint yours?” 

Y/N shook her head and rested the book on her chest, “No, I have patrols in fifteen.” 

Emmeline hummed with a smirk and continued to paint her nails. “How is everything with Potter, anyway?” 

“Salazar, are you two always this boring? I’m sure we can find a more riveting conversation topic on our patrol than this L/N.” Barty interrupted and nudged himself in between both of them. Y/N shifted away, if only to get Barty’s body weight off her leg. 

“What do you mean our patrol?” 

Barty simply raised a brow, “Potter didn’t tell you? He had to cancel for a last minute quidditch practice. Something about us beating his arse next match.” 

The butterflies that had been causing havoc inside her for the past few minutes immediately died off, “Wait what? Did he say anything else?” 

Barty rolled his eyes, looking all too bored at this conversation, “That’s all I know, L/N. I wasn’t really listening, to be fair.” 

Y/N frowned, disappointment seeping into her stomach. “Who told you this?” 

Crouch huffed and stood up. “Does it matter, L/N? Now come on, we have to go or we are going to be late. Flitwick said if I was late to patrol once more that he would find someone else for the job. Personally, I don’t fancy my Dad on my arse right before graduation.” He held out a hand towards her. Y/N pursed her lips yet took it anyway. She couldn’t help but wonder why James wouldn’t have mentioned this-or left a note, just something. Even Remus had the courtesy to write her a note, and he was only her friend. Not that her and Potter were anything but friends.

She just thought they had an understanding. 

Besides, James and Barty hate each other. Y/N narrowed her eyes-something was off. 

“Don’t pout, you get to spend the whole night with me. Do you know how many girls would kill to be you?” 

Y/N rolled her eyes and snatched her coat out of his hands. “I thought rejecting you in fifth year would have given you the right idea.” 

Barty smirked and threw an arm over her shoulder that Y/N immediately shrugged out of. Honestly. “You know I never give up on a challenge. Just wait a few hours and you’ll forget all about Potter.” 

“Hmm, I would have expected fifteen minutes. Guess I’ll just expect to be disappointed then.” 

Y/N bit her lip to try to stifle her giggles. Barty stared at her in shock for a few seconds before jogging to catch up to her. 

“You never fail to surprise me, L/N.” 

“Glad you got your wits back, Crouch.” 

“Shut up.”

-

Despite Y/N's determination to focus on what Barty was saying, she couldn’t. They had only been patrolling for less than a half hour and her mind wouldn’t stop wandering to James and wondering what had happened. 

James definitely had a good explanation. He had too. They had a thing going on, whatever that was. The point is he wouldn’t just ditch her like this. 

Ugh.

She needed to listen to Barty, he was her friend despite his insistence that they weren’t. They had been potions partners for seven years for Merlin’s sake and the stubborn man still wouldn’t admit it. 

So Y/N plastered a smile on her face and turned to him, “What were you saying?” 

Barty just raised a brow, “Um. I wasn’t saying anything.” 

“Oh,” she mumbled, her cheeks flaming. 

“He’s really got your knickers in a twist, huh?” 

Y/N’s lips twitched and she shoved him hard. He stumbled onto the wall dramatically. She rolled her eyes, “Oh please. I am not that strong.” 

“Tell that to my shoulder,” he pouted, shrugging it a few times as if to see if it was dislocated. 

Y/N rolled her eyes. A few long seconds stretched between them before Barty spoke up again. His thumb beat against his thigh in a rhythm she didn’t recognize. “You really like him, don’t you?” 

Y/N took in a sharp intake of breath, “Ya, I guess I do. It doesn’t matter though. He obviously doesn’t feel the same.” 

Barty scoffed, “You’re an idiot, L/N.” Y/N turned to him confused. “You have to be blind to see he’s not mad for you. If he’s not then he’s a bigger git than I thought.” 

Y/N smiled thinly, “Thanks, Barty.”

He shrugged, “I’m sorry I wasn’t paying more attention. Evans just blabbed on and on and I couldn't listen to it anymore. Merlin, she’s boring.” 

“Wait,” she said and stopped abruptly, “Lily told you about patrol.” 

Barty nodded and looked away, trying to remember what she said, “Something about how Potter asked her to take over and she said yes then forgot about her muggleborn rights club or something like that.” 

The tight, wound up ball in her chest steadily undid as he spoke. She felt like she could breathe again. This was so fucking dramatic. 

Y/N knew if James asked Barty to take over then something was wrong between them. He must not like her anymore-or at least that's what it felt like. Now that she knew he asked Lily and she couldn’t do it made her feel loads better. 

Y/N started to laugh at herself quietly. She felt so silly. Who knew she would be the type to stress this much over James Potter? 

Barty looked at her weirdly, “You good now?” 

“Yes.” She said, beaming.” 

He nodded slowly, “So why isn’t Emmeline taking potions?” 

“Really small talk?” 

Barty scoffed and threw his hands up, “Would you rather me be an asshole? I’m genuinely curious.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes, “She doesn’t need NEWTS potions for her career path. Lucky girl.” 

“Lucky indeed. What does she want to do?” 

Y/N huffed out something akin to a laugh, “I don’t think she knows. Last year she planned to be a magizoologist in South Africa. Over the summer, she was planning on applying to become an au pair for goblins-” 

Barty scoffed, “Did you just say globlins?” 

“I know,” she glanced at him with a smile, “Now, she mentioned working as an assistant for some top ministry worker, having a scandalous affair with him or her, marry them, kill them, and split the money with the ex wife.” 

Barty gave her a look, not even pretending anymore to really look for anyone out after curfew. “Marry, kill, why split the money? Shame she’s a Ravenclaw-wasted Slytherin potential.”

“You’re a Ravenclaw!” 

Barty smirked, “As you said last class I’m basically a Slytherin.” 

Y/N nudged him and started to laugh, “Only because it’s true.” 

Barty looked at her seriously for a second before barking out a laugh. Y/N gasped in mock shock, “Did you just laugh? Did I just make the Barty Crouch Jr. laugh?” 

Before Barty could fire back, a voice cut through the corridor.

“Glad I could witness the miracle.”

Y/N froze. Her giggles died in her throat. Her stomach thrummed around. She didn’t even need to turn. She recognized the voice.  James.

He stood a few paces away, his expression unreadable, hazel eyes flicking between her bright smile and Barty’s smirk. His jaw ticked. He still had his quidditch practice outfit on. The sheen on his upper lip and how fast his chest was heaving made Y/N wonder if he ran here.

“Didn’t realize patrols were meant to be comedy hour,” he said, tone deceptively light, though his voice was tight around the edges.

Barty shifted beside her, unbothered, even smug. “What can I say, Potter? I’m a delight.”

James’s lips curved into something that wasn’t quite a smile. “Funny, I don’t remember asking you.”

The air between the three of them turned sharp, Y/N’s stomach swooping as the butterflies came back in full force, for all the wrong reasons.

She took a step forward, “James. Barty said you had practice.” 

When he looked at her his gaze turned so soft yet so intense it took her breath away. “I did. I cut it short.” 

Y/N took another step towards him, “James, what?” 

James' gaze turned to Barty, sharp, heated. “I can take it from here, Crouch. You’re dismissed.” 

“The Gryffindor captain leaving practice?” Barty clucked his tongue. “Tsk-Tsk, Potter. What exactly happened between then and now?” 

“You happened. Now leave Crouch.” 

“What if I refuse?” 

“Then as Head Boy, I’ll take your badge away.” 

Y/N gasped, “James!” 

He glanced at her quickly before doubling down his glare at Barty. Y/N glanced at her friend, mentally pleading with Barty to let it go. Instead, Barty’s smirk grew, “Careful, Potter. People might think you care more than a Head should.” James looked away. 

The second Barty turned the corner, Y/N let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. James’s jaw was still tight, his glare fixed on the empty space where Crouch had been. The silence between them felt heavier than Barty’s words.

Y/N chewed on her lip, staring at James’ back before deciding to go up to him. “James,” she said softly and placed a hand on his back. He didn’t react. Didn’t say anything. Didn’t even move a muscle. 

Y/N scoffed. If he was going to be this way, then so be it. She had a job to do. If he wanted to pout then be her guest. She promptly spun around and started to stomp away when a hand grasped at her wrist. 

“I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I lost my temper-I shouldn’t have. I asked Lily to cover and she said yes. Then Marlene told me she saw you and Crouch heading out together, and,” He broke off, swallowing hard. “I tried to keep playing. I did. But I couldn’t get the image out of my head. You and him. Patrolling. Our thing.”

His grip on her wrist tightened just slightly. “And I know how he feels about you. I just… I couldn’t handle it.”

Y/N took in a deep, shaking breath. She gently took her hand out of his wrist and turned to face him. His eyes. His eyes, always so beautiful and bright, like honey, were dark. She bit the inside of her cheek and looked away, “What I don’t understand James is why you care?”

James looked like he had been slapped in the face. His lower lip curled up slightly. “What do you mean?” 

“What I mean,” she finally snapped, her voice wobbling, “is that we almost kissed, James. We almost kissed-and then nothing! We just kept patrolling like it was normal.”

“That’s not fair,” James shot back, breathless. He took a step towards her, so close that she felt his breath on her face. Still it wasn’t enough. “That’s not fair and you know it. I tried, and you stopped me. You said we needed to keep patrol going. And I respected it.  I abused my Head status and made sure we were paired up every time, I found excuses to come over to you in Potions. Merlin, Y/N, I literally cut Quidditch practice short because the thought of you with someone else was eating me alive. We’ve got the biggest match of the season in a few days and I didn’t care. I couldn’t focus.” His voice cracked. “So don’t tell me I did nothing.”

“Well then,” she whispered, throat tight, “why haven’t you asked me out?”

James opened his mouth. Closed it. Just stared at her. 

Slowly, painfully, it dawned on her. Maybe she hadn’t been as obvious about her feelings as she thought.

“Wait,” he breathed, wonder flooding his face. “You,” he paused and closed his eyes tightly for a second, “You want to go out with me?”

Her silence was all the answer he needed. His lips broke into a grin, dimples flashing, smile blinding. “How about Saturday? Around 6?” 

Y/N didn’t answer, just grabbed his shirt and dragged him towards her. James let out a startled laugh, cut off when her lips crashed into his.

The world seemed to still. His hand immediately found her waist, fingers splaying wide as if to anchor himself to the moment, to her. Y/N melted into him, every ounce of tension she’d been carrying for weeks dissolving in an instant. His lips were warm and insistent, tasting faintly of peppermint and sweat. Her heart skipped. She wondered how she had ever managed to pretend she didn’t want this.

He tilted his head, deepening the kiss, and one hand slid up her back, gentle but desperate, pulling her closer as if the space of a breath between them was already too much. As they broke apart, James' chest shook as he took in a breath. 

He rested his forehead against hers, grinning like a fool. “So that’s a yes to Saturday, then?”

Y/N smiled shyly and nestled her nose against his. If it was possible his gaze softened even more. “That’s a yes, Potter.”

[georgie-weasley]

Absolutely amazing! 19k words of pure magic

[georgie-weasley]

Do you think on the day they graduated Hogwarts James wondered if him and his friends would still be friends after graduation? Maybe he assured himself that there was nothing that would ever come between him and his three best friends? Was Peter already planning his betrayal as he hugged James and promised him they would be friends forever?

[abdulraveman]

Superman (2025) dir. James Gunn

[georgie-weasley]

Important question. I have requests in my inbox from like a year ago. Do I still answer them and write the thing or not? How does one navigate this very specific problem?

[georgie-weasley]

I was outlining the timeline and chapter breakdown for Deep Wounds and somehow I’m looking at 15 total chapters but if we count those silly little half chapters as chapters there’s actually 30 and if we count those and the prologue and epilogue that’s 32 total chapters and I don’t know how I signed myself up for that

Anyway check out my Remus x healer!reader fic before it gets to 32 chapters

[georgie-weasley]

Deep Wounds: Chapter 2.5

Warnings: Language, one sex joke, James Potter

Word Count: 1k

Summary: Remus tells James about his meeting with you over breakfast

Series Masterlist Series Taglist

“More tea darling?”

“James, I swear if you call me darling one more time I’m never coming over for breakfast again.” Remus glared but scooted his mug closer to James anyway. Remus had been coming over for breakfast and tea with James since they graduated Hogwarts. James and Lily moved in together as soon as they could but after only a month of living together, Lily started going to a muggle college and she often left before James even woke up. After listening to his friend whine about his lonely mornings for a week, Remus joined James for breakfast every day Lily had an early class.

James held up his hands in surrender but the smirk on his face was anything but apologetic. As he poured Remus more tea, he watched his friend closely. “So, want to fill me in on yesterday?”

Remus rolled his eyes and snatched his tea back as soon as James was finished. “There’s nothing to say.”

“Oh please Moony? I’m desperate for some juicy gossip. If you don’t tell me I’ll be forced to assume you two made love in my backyard.”

Remus’s head hit the table with a thud, shaking the mugs and plates. “I hate you so much,” he said with a groan.

James smiled and reached across the table, adding a copious amount of sugar to Remus’s mug. “So, what’ll it be Moons?”

“She yelled at me and called me a toddler.” Remus mumbled.

James laughed, shaking his head. “Well, were you acting like a toddler?” When Remus only glared, James knew his answer. “So she yelled at you and then what? Did you play nice and answer her questions?”

“Yes but then she told me I need to take something for the pain before the full moon.” James opened his mouth but Remus cut him off. “I know, I know. You’ve been telling me that for years. No matter how valid her statement was, that wasn’t the point. She said she wanted to find a cure and that isn’t a cure.”

James shrugged. “Sure but doesn’t that count for something? She had a good idea just like someone else you know.”

“James, I’m not validating you. That’s what your wife is for.”

“It’s fine. I know deep down you’re impressed with my brain.” James took a sip of his tea, pouting a little. He was convinced Lily made it better even though she made it the same way. “So then what?”

Remus busied himself with his tea, stirring it and taking a drink. He winced at the taste, adding more sugar and mumbling something as he did.

“Speak up Moony. Use your big boy voice.” James said with a smirk.

“I said fuck you James.” Remus glared at his friend but James just smiled and waved his hand, urging. “I agreed to give her the month to come up with a plan and to make a potion.”

“Didn’t we agree to let that happen anyway?”

“You did but I never wanted this in the first place. That’s not the problem anyway.”

James leaned in close over the table. “What’s the problem then?” He looked positively giddy at the promise of a little gossip.

“I may have accused her of trying to kill me.” James gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth. Remus rolled his eyes but continued. “So then she said I would have to watch her make the potion and I agreed. I have to go to her house today.”

James squealed, kicking his feet. “Moony! This is amazing. You think you’ll kiss her? Maybe you’ll lock eyes over the cauldron and smooch!”

“I think you need to leave the romance novels alone James. There will be no kissing over a cauldron.” Remus blushed, drinking his tea, hoping James would think it was just the heat of his drink pinking up his cheeks. “I don’t know why we’re starting this today. There’s a whole month until the next full moon.”

Officially distracted, James hummed. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s got something to do with the whole cycle. It doesn’t really matter though since you did agree to it and I will tie you up and take you there if you don’t go on your own.”

He sighed, adding a piece of toast to his plate. “James, I need you to be completely honest with me. Do you think this is a good idea?”

James smiled and nodded without taking a second to think. “Of course I do. Remus, I know the idea of finding a cure seems like a fantasy but I think you have a real shot with her. Or at least you two will figure out something to help. We have all done what we could to help you. I mean we went through the process of becoming illegal animagi for you but truthfully, this is something I think only she can help you with. Even Lily, an absolute potion queen, had a hard time brewing a healing potion.”

“I know but how do we know she’s as good as she says she is?”

“Besides the fact that you can hardly see the evidence of those deep scars she healed? I guess we can ask other people from school. Or,” James added, “you can ask her to prove it. Nicely might I add. Considering how she left, I don’t think you were very nice yesterday.”

Remus rolled his eyes but didn’t speak. Today he did have the chance to ask you to prove yourself. Part of him thought it was weird but just yesterday he accused you of trying to kill him. Asking you to brew a potion that should be easy for a healer to make couldn’t be that bad. It would prove if you were competent or not and maybe he would even get to keep it. James was right, though Remus would never tell him.

“Is Lily taking early classes just to spite you?” Remus asked after a minute.

“No. She asked me before she signed up for this round of classes if I wanted her to take a later one. I told her I would hate to miss out on my dates with my darling Moons.”

Remus sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. He quickly swallowed his tea and stood, grabbing his toast. “Goodbye James.”

“Bye Moony! See you tomorrow!” James giggled and waved.

“See you tomorrow Prongs.”

Series Taglist

@screamingsilence3 @daydreamandforget

[georgie-weasley]

Deep Wounds: Chapter 2.5

Warnings: Language, one sex joke, James Potter

Word Count: 1k

Summary: Remus tells James about his meeting with you over breakfast

Series Masterlist Series Taglist

“More tea darling?”

“James, I swear if you call me darling one more time I’m never coming over for breakfast again.” Remus glared but scooted his mug closer to James anyway. Remus had been coming over for breakfast and tea with James since they graduated Hogwarts. James and Lily moved in together as soon as they could but after only a month of living together, Lily started going to a muggle college and she often left before James even woke up. After listening to his friend whine about his lonely mornings for a week, Remus joined James for breakfast every day Lily had an early class.

James held up his hands in surrender but the smirk on his face was anything but apologetic. As he poured Remus more tea, he watched his friend closely. “So, want to fill me in on yesterday?”

Remus rolled his eyes and snatched his tea back as soon as James was finished. “There’s nothing to say.”

“Oh please Moony? I’m desperate for some juicy gossip. If you don’t tell me I’ll be forced to assume you two made love in my backyard.”

Remus’s head hit the table with a thud, shaking the mugs and plates. “I hate you so much,” he said with a groan.

James smiled and reached across the table, adding a copious amount of sugar to Remus’s mug. “So, what’ll it be Moons?”

“She yelled at me and called me a toddler.” Remus mumbled.

James laughed, shaking his head. “Well, were you acting like a toddler?” When Remus only glared, James knew his answer. “So she yelled at you and then what? Did you play nice and answer her questions?”

“Yes but then she told me I need to take something for the pain before the full moon.” James opened his mouth but Remus cut him off. “I know, I know. You’ve been telling me that for years. No matter how valid her statement was, that wasn’t the point. She said she wanted to find a cure and that isn’t a cure.”

James shrugged. “Sure but doesn’t that count for something? She had a good idea just like someone else you know.”

“James, I’m not validating you. That’s what your wife is for.”

“It’s fine. I know deep down you’re impressed with my brain.” James took a sip of his tea, pouting a little. He was convinced Lily made it better even though she made it the same way. “So then what?”

Remus busied himself with his tea, stirring it and taking a drink. He winced at the taste, adding more sugar and mumbling something as he did.

“Speak up Moony. Use your big boy voice.” James said with a smirk.

“I said fuck you James.” Remus glared at his friend but James just smiled and waved his hand, urging. “I agreed to give her the month to come up with a plan and to make a potion.”

“Didn’t we agree to let that happen anyway?”

“You did but I never wanted this in the first place. That’s not the problem anyway.”

James leaned in close over the table. “What’s the problem then?” He looked positively giddy at the promise of a little gossip.

“I may have accused her of trying to kill me.” James gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth. Remus rolled his eyes but continued. “So then she said I would have to watch her make the potion and I agreed. I have to go to her house today.”

James squealed, kicking his feet. “Moony! This is amazing. You think you’ll kiss her? Maybe you’ll lock eyes over the cauldron and smooch!”

“I think you need to leave the romance novels alone James. There will be no kissing over a cauldron.” Remus blushed, drinking his tea, hoping James would think it was just the heat of his drink pinking up his cheeks. “I don’t know why we’re starting this today. There’s a whole month until the next full moon.”

Officially distracted, James hummed. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s got something to do with the whole cycle. It doesn’t really matter though since you did agree to it and I will tie you up and take you there if you don’t go on your own.”

He sighed, adding a piece of toast to his plate. “James, I need you to be completely honest with me. Do you think this is a good idea?”

James smiled and nodded without taking a second to think. “Of course I do. Remus, I know the idea of finding a cure seems like a fantasy but I think you have a real shot with her. Or at least you two will figure out something to help. We have all done what we could to help you. I mean we went through the process of becoming illegal animagi for you but truthfully, this is something I think only she can help you with. Even Lily, an absolute potion queen, had a hard time brewing a healing potion.”

“I know but how do we know she’s as good as she says she is?”

“Besides the fact that you can hardly see the evidence of those deep scars she healed? I guess we can ask other people from school. Or,” James added, “you can ask her to prove it. Nicely might I add. Considering how she left, I don’t think you were very nice yesterday.”

Remus rolled his eyes but didn’t speak. Today he did have the chance to ask you to prove yourself. Part of him thought it was weird but just yesterday he accused you of trying to kill him. Asking you to brew a potion that should be easy for a healer to make couldn’t be that bad. It would prove if you were competent or not and maybe he would even get to keep it. James was right, though Remus would never tell him.

“Is Lily taking early classes just to spite you?” Remus asked after a minute.

“No. She asked me before she signed up for this round of classes if I wanted her to take a later one. I told her I would hate to miss out on my dates with my darling Moons.”

Remus sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. He quickly swallowed his tea and stood, grabbing his toast. “Goodbye James.”

“Bye Moony! See you tomorrow!” James giggled and waved.

“See you tomorrow Prongs.”

Series Taglist

@screamingsilence3 @daydreamandforget

[cannabiscomrade]

Adriana Smith’s neonate was delivered today, 3 months early (around 28 weeks).

She will finally be allowed to rest and taken off of life support.

Her family’s fundraiser is nowhere near its goal, and now they have tremendous NICU costs to look forward to based on how her son was able (or unable) to develop under the duress of all those life saving drugs they pumped his mom full of.

Please allow this mother’s spirit to rest and support their family as they’re finally allowed to grieve poor Adriana being used as an incubator for the state.

Donate to Help Adriana's Family During This Heartbreaking Journey, organized by April Newkirk

This journey has been deeply saddening and heartbreaking since F… April Newkirk needs your support for Help Adriana's Family During This Hea

[cannabiscomrade]

Minor correction: the baby was removed via C-section on Friday, June 13th.

The baby’s name is Chance.

[cannabiscomrade]

It’s Juneteenth. Let’s get this family to their fundraising goal. They’re 93% of the way there.

Black maternal mortality rates in the US are 3x higher than other races. Antiblackness and misogynoir are still systemically imbedded into our country and it’s our responsibility to keep talking about it and support the families affected.

[georgie-weasley]

James Potter is the kind of dude to cheer and click his heels after kissing you for the first time

James Potter is the kind of person who would try to make you cookies but get confused with the measurements and add a fourth of a tablespoon of salt, not a fourth of a teaspoon

James Potter would absolutely and 100% fall off his broom if he saw you wearing his Quidditch jersey to cheer him on. he would pass away if you did it and you weren't a Gryffindor

James Potter is also the type to beg you to paint his nails

James Potter is just boyfriend

[georgie-weasley]

Deep Wounds: Chapter 2

Warnings: language, alluding to depression, mentions of pain, Remus is a little mean, James makes a joke about you and Remus killing each other, Remus is a little brat and y'all have beef

Word Count: 3.3k

Series Masterlist Series Taglist

You stood in front of the small cottage and stared at the little gate in front of it. It seemed very nice and like a great neighborhood. Your hand shook as you reached for the gate. Five minutes ago you would have said you were excited to talk to Remus and James again but now that your nerves had kicked in, you would not say you were excited at all. I was top of my class at Hogwarts and Professor Slughorn said I was the best student he ever had. What a fool you had to have been to tell them that. You weren’t lying in the slightest but that had to have made them assume you would be some incredible witch that could cure Remus in a day.

There was very little information out there about werewolves and what little there was wasn’t always truthful. Some sources liked to claim that a werewolf always has claws but from the couple you had met, they didn’t. Another thought that a werewolf bite was harmless and actually someone has to go through a rigorous spell to become one. They must have mixed up their animagus and werewolf lore. Even more believed that a werewolf would smell like a dog even when it wasn’t a full moon. As you never bothered to smell Remus or the other werewolves you met, that one could be accurate.

You were starting completely from scratch. If you wanted any hope of curing werewolves, you would have to understand them better and you were certain Remus wouldn’t like that. He seemed very closed off, as most werewolves did. And it wasn’t like you could blame them knowing what they go through and how they’re treated. His friend James had acted more excited about your help so maybe James would be the one to convince Remus to go along with this idea.

Finally, you opened the gate and walked through the small front yard and over to the front door. It was painted a deep warm red and from inside you could smell something sweet baking. You lifted your still shaking hand to knock on the door but before you could, it swung open and a man with long black hair and a big smirk stood in front of you. He had stubble on his chin and tattoos all over his arms. “We were watching you from the window. Glad you finally made it past the gate.” He leaned against the door frame and thrust his hand toward you. “Sirius Black, nice to meet you sweetheart.” He sent you a wink.

For a few seconds you just stared at him, unsure if he was joking or if he was serious in more ways than one. “Right, well, nice to meet you too. I’m Y/N L/N and James told me to come here to meet with Remus.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow and was pushed out of the way by a young woman with bright red hair. She scowled at Sirius but looked at you with a bright smile. “Please ignore him, we all do. Come in, come in!” She grabbed your hand and led you inside past the still confused Sirius Black. The cottage was bright and welcoming and instantly put you at ease. The woman, whose name you still didn’t know, brought you through the small living room and into the kitchen where a tray of snacks was sitting. “I thought you might be hungry after work so I brought out some food. It’s nothing special and just leftovers from my wedding but it’s good food. And some fresh baked cookies made the muggle way. Magic may be easy but nothing is better than cookies the way my mom made them.”

After a second she smiled and took a step back from you. While she was beyond sweet for thinking to set out food, she was overwhelming but in a really nice way. You could tell just from this one interaction just how big a heart she had. “I’m Lily Potter by the way and I’m really excited that you’re here.”

To know at least one person was excited to see you helped you relax. “Thank you. I’m pretty nervous to be honest.” You set your bag on the floor, looking at the selection of food on the counter.

“Of course you are. I know Remus can be… prickly… like a cactus, but we just want to help him so just knowing you also want to help means a lot. Even if he complains.” Lily looked out the window, watching her new husband chat with Remus.

“I’ll believe that when I hear it from his own mouth.”

Lily laughed and grabbed a little sandwich from a tray. “That may take a while.” She took a bite and hummed, turning to look at you. “I really appreciate you taking the time to do this. He’s always been down but recently, he’s been worse and we worry about him. Remus is a good friend and we all just want good things to happen to him.”

“It’s good that he has you. I’ve worked with only a few werewolves in the past and they always do better when they have close relationships. How long have you known Remus?”

Lily smiled, finishing her sandwich. “I met him in my first year but we really became friends when we were both prefects together in fifth year. The boys have been friends from the beginning.”

The door to the backyard opened, causing you both to look up. James visibly brightened at the sight of Lily but when Remus locked eyes with you, his frown deepened. James did his best to ignore the sour look on his friend’s face as he pulled you into a hug. “Good to see you again Doc!” James said as he pulled away, giving your shoulder a friendly squeeze. While you only met less than 12 hours ago, James acted like you had been his friend for a lifetime. James smiled at Remus, poking him in the side. “Come on Mr. Grumpy Pants, brighten up!”

Remus glared at his friend and stomped back outside.

“Well, good luck with him. I think it will be best for everyone if you two are alone,” Lily said after a moment. You opened your mouth to disagree but she continued. “We’ll be going to James’s parents house until dinner.” James sprung into action and moved to the living room. You could just hear him and two other voices talking before there were three small pops as they apparated away. “Do what it takes. I’m rooting for you.” Lily gave your hand a squeeze before she apparated away as well.

You could see Remus sitting in a lawn chair, arms crossed over his chest and what could only be called a pout on his face. “You can do this.” You whispered to yourself , digging through your bag and grabbing a notebook and pen. With your things and as much courage as you could gather, you stepped out into the backyard, sliding the door closed behind you.

Remus kept his gaze on the grass and as you sat in the chair next to him, the only evidence he heard you was the slight huff of annoyance he let out as you did. “Hi Remus. If you don’t mind, I’ll take notes of our conversation today.” When he didn’t answer, you flipped the notebook open to a new page and scribbled his name and the date at the top. “So, I think the first thing we should talk about is when you were first bitten. Can you tell me how old you were?”

Silence. Seconds turned into minutes and after three minutes, you moved on. “Alright. Maybe you can let me know if the full moons have gotten harder or easier over the years.” More silence. He was getting on your last nerve. Clearly he wasn’t excited about this arrangement but he could at least be polite. “Fine. What about who knows? I’m assuming your parents are aware. James, Sirius, and Lily know. Anyone else?”

At this, Remus rolled his eyes and turned his body away from you. “You know what Remus? You’re acting like a toddler!” You hissed, your last nerve snapping in two. “I know you have your issues and reasons for not wanting help but you can at least humor me! Or do it for your friends! Clearly they love you and want this to work out but you’re just throwing it in their face! I know you saw how excited James was when I offered to help. These are your friends and your life. I have no skin in this game and if you want to throw away help because you can’t get over yourself, be my guest!”

You crossed your arms over your chest, still glaring at Remus. He was infuriating and it made your blood boil. You didn’t want to blame him; he had a hard life but he was acting like a jerk. The two werewolves you’ve met in the past had always been grateful for everything you did for them. It wasn’t as if you were some hero and you didn’t think you were better than anyone because of all you had done but honestly, Remus could be a little nicer about it all.

“Then leave.” Remus grumbled.

“No. I told Lily I was going to do everything I could and I’m not going to walk away because you’re an ass.” A lie but a harmless one. Remus’s face seemed to soften at your words only for a second before he resumed his glare. “Maybe you’re fine letting Lily down but I’m not.” Again, the fight in his eyes dimmed at your words. If you had any chance of getting him to listen, weaponizing Lily was going to be your best shot.

“You know she said she’s worried about you. Lily told me you’ve been worse lately.” Slowly, as your words sunk into his brain, the glare faded. Time to put the last nail in the coffin. “I’ve seen werewolves withdraw and pull away from their friends. I get that putting walls up feels like a way to protect yourself and your friends; you aren’t the first person to do it. What those people never saw was the pain it caused their friends and family. It crushes them. If you want to cause your friends irreversible pain, go for it. And when Lily asks why she hasn’t heard from you, I’ll be the one to tell her that you would rather leave your friends than get help.”

Remus didn’t answer and slowly, you stood. You had almost made it to the door when Remus finally spoke up. “I’ll tell you what you need to know and nothing more. We’re not going to be friends and when this fails, I’ll tell Lily that you were as useless as I thought you would be.”

You could practically hear the venom dripping from his words but you couldn’t help the smirk on your face. You got him. Now you just needed to prove this wasn’t a waste of time.

An hour later, you got some information out of Remus. It wasn’t a lot but considering an hour ago he was ignoring you, you were going to take what you could get. He was almost five when he was bitten and annoyingly, there was no clear answer if transformations got easier or worse as he got older. James, Lily, Sirius, and Peter were his friends that knew of his condition. His parents, James’s parents, and Severus Snape also knew.

“Wait, hang on. Snape knows? Why on earth does he know?”

The ghost of a smile crossed Remus’s face at the disgust in your voice. “It’s a long story that I don’t feel like explaining to you. All you need to know is I did not willingly tell him.”

“Alright. Just know that I surpassed Snape’s brewing record a year ahead of him.” Remus rolled his eyes at your words but his smile didn’t fade; that felt like a win. “So you said you know the full moons got easier during school because of your friends. Will you explain?”

“After finding out about the lycanthropy in second year, the boys worked to become animagi and were successful in fifth year. Something about being with them made it better. It never stopped the transformations but I felt more in control.” Remus rubbed his knees and stretched his legs, wincing as he did.

You nodded, scribbling down the notes. “But it hasn’t stayed that good?”

Remus shook his head, standing with a groan. “Ever since we left Hogwarts it hasn’t been as good.” Remus carefully lowered himself to the ground and laid in the grass. The hot afternoon sun warmed his skin and helped ease the pain in his joints.

Your eyes strayed away from your notebook and watched Remus. The light shined on his face, bringing out his freckles. He looked peaceful here in the sun, laying in the grass. His hair fanned out around him, the sun highlighting the golden strands in his sandy brown hair. You tore your eyes away from him and looked down at your notes. You had quite a bit of information but there were more things you would like to know if he would share them. Though the next round of questions were going to dive deeper than the first few and you were sure Remus wouldn’t answer. You opened your mouth to ask him another question but the faint sound of his snores stopped you. In the time you had spent staring at him like he was a piece of art at a museum, he had fallen asleep. Briefly, you debated waking him up but he deserved at least a little rest. Based on his slow and stiff movements, he was still hurting from the full moon last night and the Hippogriff attack surely didn’t help.

Instead, you took to drawing Remus in your notebook. After half an hour, you had drawn his face and he began stirring. He balled up his fists and rubbed his eyes, squinting at the bright light. “Good afternoon.” You mumbled, causing Remus to groan and slowly roll onto his stomach.

“I thought I was having a nightmare about you but turns out it was real. You’re still here.”

“Ha ha. No wonder you only have four friends; you have a sparkling personality.” You rolled your eyes and flipped to a new page. You could only imagine what he would say if he saw the drawing.

Remus snorted and carefully got to his feet; you could hear his joints popping as he did. “How long was I asleep?”

“About half an hour. You looked like you needed the rest.” Remus nodded in agreement and sat next to you. “Ready for more questions?”

He rolled his eyes and said, “Do I really have a choice?”

“No, you don’t. When do you start feeling pain before a full moon?”

“About a week. It gets worse as it gets closer to the moon.”

You nodded, writing down his answer. “That’s pretty typical. Have you ever tried taking anything for the pain during that week? Muggle pain medicine or pain potions?”

Remus was silent for a moment before he shook his head. “Never have.”

You paused your writing to look at him. “Really? Never?” When he shook his head again you closed your notebook, turning to look at him. “Why not?”

“I’m not answering that.” He sighed, avoiding your gaze.

“Oh come on. This is not me trying to be your friend. This is a professional question. If I wanted to know about your personality I’d ask your friends.”

Remus ran his fingers over one of the scars on his arm. “The pain is only going to get worse so why bother.”

“Have you ever heard of preemptive analgesia?”

“Please tell me that it has nothing to do with my butt.” Remus said as he looked at you with wide eyes.

“No,” you laughed. “It's the idea of taking something for the pain before a painful event. You said your pain begins about a week before the full moon and you don’t take anything for the pain. I think at least you should take something right before the moonrise. I would also recommend taking something for the pain all week; that’s something many werewolves have done and have found success.” You opened up your notebook again and wrote down the suggestion before tearing it out and handing it to him. “I can tell your friends too.”

Remus stared at the paper in his hand, shaking his head. “Great suggestions but those are expensive. I can’t just take potions for the pain every day.”

Remus and his finances were not something you even considered but it didn’t surprise you. Afterall, most employers are not interested in hiring a werewolf. “I can help. We can start with muggle pain medicine at the beginning of the week and I can provide potions at the end of the week. I can get all the ingredients and make the potion. They always cost more because of labor costs anyway so if I make them, it would just cost the price of ingredients. Of course I’m not asking you to pay for it. What do you think?”

Remus chewed on his lip, eyes roaming over you. “I think it sounds like a waste of time. You said you wanted to try and find a cure and this doesn’t sound like a cure to me.” He crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow.

At his words, your mouth dropped open. Things were going so well and of course he had to ruin that. “Well, no it isn’t but I don’t see an issue starting small. Listen, give me the month to come up with some sort of plan. I think a potion will be our best shot but honestly, if you aren’t managing your pain then I’m going to assume you won’t take this seriously.”

“If I take things for the pain, how will you know if your potion is actually helping or if it was just the pain management?” Remus asked and when you didn’t answer right away, he smirked. He had you there.

“Fine. Don’t take anything for the pain but I expect you to take whatever potion I give you.”

“And how will I know it's safe and nothing will kill me?”

You groaned, clenching your fists so tightly your nails were digging into your palms. God he was infuriating. “Then I guess you’ll just have to watch me brew the potions!”

“I can’t think of anything I would hate more.” Remus rolled his eyes.

“Well,” you started, “unless you can think of a better solution, I guess I’ll be seeing you at my house tomorrow after work.”

Remus opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it, and then closed it again. “Fine.” He grumbled.

You stood and without sparing him a second glance, you stormed into the house. As you gathered your things and a few cookies, James and Lily popped into the kitchen. “How did it go?” James asked, a hopeful smile on his face.

“Lovely.” You groaned and apparated out of their house.

Remus came inside only a few seconds later, a scowl on his face. He grabbed a handful of cookies and shoved one in his mouth.

“How did it go?” James asked again, hoping his friend would have a better answer.

“Fuck off Prongs.” Remus mumbled with his mouth full before he apparated away as well.

James turned to Lily who only shrugged. “Sounds like it went great.” He said with a smile. Lily rolled her eyes, taking a cookie for herself. “At least neither one of them are dead. I was worried we would come back to a dead body.”

Series Taglist

@screamingsilence3 @daydreamandforget

[georgie-weasley]

Deep Wounds: Chapter 2

Warnings: language, alluding to depression, mentions of pain, Remus is a little mean, James makes a joke about you and Remus killing each other, Remus is a little brat and y'all have beef

Word Count: 3.3k

Summary: You come to the Potter household to meet with Remus but turns out he’s a little brat and tension rises.

Series Masterlist Series Taglist

You stood in front of the small cottage and stared at the little gate in front of it. It seemed very nice and like a great neighborhood. Your hand shook as you reached for the gate. Five minutes ago you would have said you were excited to talk to Remus and James again but now that your nerves had kicked in, you would not say you were excited at all. I was top of my class at Hogwarts and Professor Slughorn said I was the best student he ever had. What a fool you had to have been to tell them that. You weren’t lying in the slightest but that had to have made them assume you would be some incredible witch that could cure Remus in a day.

There was very little information out there about werewolves and what little there was wasn’t always truthful. Some sources liked to claim that a werewolf always has claws but from the couple you had met, they didn’t. Another thought that a werewolf bite was harmless and actually someone has to go through a rigorous spell to become one. They must have mixed up their animagus and werewolf lore. Even more believed that a werewolf would smell like a dog even when it wasn’t a full moon. As you never bothered to smell Remus or the other werewolves you met, that one could be accurate.

You were starting completely from scratch. If you wanted any hope of curing werewolves, you would have to understand them better and you were certain Remus wouldn’t like that. He seemed very closed off, as most werewolves did. And it wasn’t like you could blame them knowing what they go through and how they’re treated. His friend James had acted more excited about your help so maybe James would be the one to convince Remus to go along with this idea.

Finally, you opened the gate and walked through the small front yard and over to the front door. It was painted a deep warm red and from inside you could smell something sweet baking. You lifted your still shaking hand to knock on the door but before you could, it swung open and a man with long black hair and a big smirk stood in front of you. He had stubble on his chin and tattoos all over his arms. “We were watching you from the window. Glad you finally made it past the gate.” He leaned against the door frame and thrust his hand toward you. “Sirius Black, nice to meet you sweetheart.” He sent you a wink.

For a few seconds you just stared at him, unsure if he was joking or if he was serious in more ways than one. “Right, well, nice to meet you too. I’m Y/N L/N and James told me to come here to meet with Remus.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow and was pushed out of the way by a young woman with bright red hair. She scowled at Sirius but looked at you with a bright smile. “Please ignore him, we all do. Come in, come in!” She grabbed your hand and led you inside past the still confused Sirius Black. The cottage was bright and welcoming and instantly put you at ease. The woman, whose name you still didn’t know, brought you through the small living room and into the kitchen where a tray of snacks was sitting. “I thought you might be hungry after work so I brought out some food. It’s nothing special and just leftovers from my wedding but it’s good food. And some fresh baked cookies made the muggle way. Magic may be easy but nothing is better than cookies the way my mom made them.”

After a second she smiled and took a step back from you. While she was beyond sweet for thinking to set out food, she was overwhelming but in a really nice way. You could tell just from this one interaction just how big a heart she had. “I’m Lily Potter by the way and I’m really excited that you’re here.”

To know at least one person was excited to see you helped you relax. “Thank you. I’m pretty nervous to be honest.” You set your bag on the floor, looking at the selection of food on the counter.

“Of course you are. I know Remus can be… prickly… like a cactus, but we just want to help him so just knowing you also want to help means a lot. Even if he complains.” Lily looked out the window, watching her new husband chat with Remus.

“I’ll believe that when I hear it from his own mouth.”

Lily laughed and grabbed a little sandwich from a tray. “That may take a while.” She took a bite and hummed, turning to look at you. “I really appreciate you taking the time to do this. He’s always been down but recently, he’s been worse and we worry about him. Remus is a good friend and we all just want good things to happen to him.”

“It’s good that he has you. I’ve worked with only a few werewolves in the past and they always do better when they have close relationships. How long have you known Remus?”

Lily smiled, finishing her sandwich. “I met him in my first year but we really became friends when we were both prefects together in fifth year. The boys have been friends from the beginning.”

The door to the backyard opened, causing you both to look up. James visibly brightened at the sight of Lily but when Remus locked eyes with you, his frown deepened. James did his best to ignore the sour look on his friend’s face as he pulled you into a hug. “Good to see you again Doc!” James said as he pulled away, giving your shoulder a friendly squeeze. While you only met less than 12 hours ago, James acted like you had been his friend for a lifetime. James smiled at Remus, poking him in the side. “Come on Mr. Grumpy Pants, brighten up!”

Remus glared at his friend and stomped back outside.

“Well, good luck with him. I think it will be best for everyone if you two are alone,” Lily said after a moment. You opened your mouth to disagree but she continued. “We’ll be going to James’s parents house until dinner.” James sprung into action and moved to the living room. You could just hear him and two other voices talking before there were three small pops as they apparated away. “Do what it takes. I’m rooting for you.” Lily gave your hand a squeeze before she apparated away as well.

You could see Remus sitting in a lawn chair, arms crossed over his chest and what could only be called a pout on his face. “You can do this.” You whispered to yourself , digging through your bag and grabbing a notebook and pen. With your things and as much courage as you could gather, you stepped out into the backyard, sliding the door closed behind you.

Remus kept his gaze on the grass and as you sat in the chair next to him, the only evidence he heard you was the slight huff of annoyance he let out as you did. “Hi Remus. If you don’t mind, I’ll take notes of our conversation today.” When he didn’t answer, you flipped the notebook open to a new page and scribbled his name and the date at the top. “So, I think the first thing we should talk about is when you were first bitten. Can you tell me how old you were?”

Silence. Seconds turned into minutes and after three minutes, you moved on. “Alright. Maybe you can let me know if the full moons have gotten harder or easier over the years.” More silence. He was getting on your last nerve. Clearly he wasn’t excited about this arrangement but he could at least be polite. “Fine. What about who knows? I’m assuming your parents are aware. James, Sirius, and Lily know. Anyone else?”

At this, Remus rolled his eyes and turned his body away from you. “You know what Remus? You’re acting like a toddler!” You hissed, your last nerve snapping in two. “I know you have your issues and reasons for not wanting help but you can at least humor me! Or do it for your friends! Clearly they love you and want this to work out but you’re just throwing it in their face! I know you saw how excited James was when I offered to help. These are your friends and your life. I have no skin in this game and if you want to throw away help because you can’t get over yourself, be my guest!”

You crossed your arms over your chest, still glaring at Remus. He was infuriating and it made your blood boil. You didn’t want to blame him; he had a hard life but he was acting like a jerk. The two werewolves you’ve met in the past had always been grateful for everything you did for them. It wasn’t as if you were some hero and you didn’t think you were better than anyone because of all you had done but honestly, Remus could be a little nicer about it all.

“Then leave.” Remus grumbled.

“No. I told Lily I was going to do everything I could and I’m not going to walk away because you’re an ass.” A lie but a harmless one. Remus’s face seemed to soften at your words only for a second before he resumed his glare. “Maybe you’re fine letting Lily down but I’m not.” Again, the fight in his eyes dimmed at your words. If you had any chance of getting him to listen, weaponizing Lily was going to be your best shot.

“You know she said she’s worried about you. Lily told me you’ve been worse lately.” Slowly, as your words sunk into his brain, the glare faded. Time to put the last nail in the coffin. “I’ve seen werewolves withdraw and pull away from their friends. I get that putting walls up feels like a way to protect yourself and your friends; you aren’t the first person to do it. What those people never saw was the pain it caused their friends and family. It crushes them. If you want to cause your friends irreversible pain, go for it. And when Lily asks why she hasn’t heard from you, I’ll be the one to tell her that you would rather leave your friends than get help.”

Remus didn’t answer and slowly, you stood. You had almost made it to the door when Remus finally spoke up. “I’ll tell you what you need to know and nothing more. We’re not going to be friends and when this fails, I’ll tell Lily that you were as useless as I thought you would be.”

You could practically hear the venom dripping from his words but you couldn’t help the smirk on your face. You got him. Now you just needed to prove this wasn’t a waste of time.

An hour later, you got some information out of Remus. It wasn’t a lot but considering an hour ago he was ignoring you, you were going to take what you could get. He was almost five when he was bitten and annoyingly, there was no clear answer if transformations got easier or worse as he got older. James, Lily, Sirius, and Peter were his friends that knew of his condition. His parents, James’s parents, and Severus Snape also knew.

“Wait, hang on. Snape knows? Why on earth does he know?”

The ghost of a smile crossed Remus’s face at the disgust in your voice. “It’s a long story that I don’t feel like explaining to you. All you need to know is I did not willingly tell him.”

“Alright. Just know that I surpassed Snape’s brewing record a year ahead of him.” Remus rolled his eyes at your words but his smile didn’t fade; that felt like a win. “So you said you know the full moons got easier during school because of your friends. Will you explain?”

“After finding out about the lycanthropy in second year, the boys worked to become animagi and were successful in fifth year. Something about being with them made it better. It never stopped the transformations but I felt more in control.” Remus rubbed his knees and stretched his legs, wincing as he did.

You nodded, scribbling down the notes. “But it hasn’t stayed that good?”

Remus shook his head, standing with a groan. “Ever since we left Hogwarts it hasn’t been as good.” Remus carefully lowered himself to the ground and laid in the grass. The hot afternoon sun warmed his skin and helped ease the pain in his joints.

Your eyes strayed away from your notebook and watched Remus. The light shined on his face, bringing out his freckles. He looked peaceful here in the sun, laying in the grass. His hair fanned out around him, the sun highlighting the golden strands in his sandy brown hair. You tore your eyes away from him and looked down at your notes. You had quite a bit of information but there were more things you would like to know if he would share them. Though the next round of questions were going to dive deeper than the first few and you were sure Remus wouldn’t answer. You opened your mouth to ask him another question but the faint sound of his snores stopped you. In the time you had spent staring at him like he was a piece of art at a museum, he had fallen asleep. Briefly, you debated waking him up but he deserved at least a little rest. Based on his slow and stiff movements, he was still hurting from the full moon last night and the Hippogriff attack surely didn’t help.

Instead, you took to drawing Remus in your notebook. After half an hour, you had drawn his face and he began stirring. He balled up his fists and rubbed his eyes, squinting at the bright light. “Good afternoon.” You mumbled, causing Remus to groan and slowly roll onto his stomach.

“I thought I was having a nightmare about you but turns out it was real. You’re still here.”

“Ha ha. No wonder you only have four friends; you have a sparkling personality.” You rolled your eyes and flipped to a new page. You could only imagine what he would say if he saw the drawing.

Remus snorted and carefully got to his feet; you could hear his joints popping as he did. “How long was I asleep?”

“About half an hour. You looked like you needed the rest.” Remus nodded in agreement and sat next to you. “Ready for more questions?”

He rolled his eyes and said, “Do I really have a choice?”

“No, you don’t. When do you start feeling pain before a full moon?”

“About a week. It gets worse as it gets closer to the moon.”

You nodded, writing down his answer. “That’s pretty typical. Have you ever tried taking anything for the pain during that week? Muggle pain medicine or pain potions?”

Remus was silent for a moment before he shook his head. “Never have.”

You paused your writing to look at him. “Really? Never?” When he shook his head again you closed your notebook, turning to look at him. “Why not?”

“I’m not answering that.” He sighed, avoiding your gaze.

“Oh come on. This is not me trying to be your friend. This is a professional question. If I wanted to know about your personality I’d ask your friends.”

Remus ran his fingers over one of the scars on his arm. “The pain is only going to get worse so why bother.”

“Have you ever heard of preemptive analgesia?”

“Please tell me that it has nothing to do with my butt.” Remus said as he looked at you with wide eyes.

“No,” you laughed. “It's the idea of taking something for the pain before a painful event. You said your pain begins about a week before the full moon and you don’t take anything for the pain. I think at least you should take something right before the moonrise. I would also recommend taking something for the pain all week; that’s something many werewolves have done and have found success.” You opened up your notebook again and wrote down the suggestion before tearing it out and handing it to him. “I can tell your friends too.”

Remus stared at the paper in his hand, shaking his head. “Great suggestions but those are expensive. I can’t just take potions for the pain every day.”

Remus and his finances were not something you even considered but it didn’t surprise you. Afterall, most employers are not interested in hiring a werewolf. “I can help. We can start with muggle pain medicine at the beginning of the week and I can provide potions at the end of the week. I can get all the ingredients and make the potion. They always cost more because of labor costs anyway so if I make them, it would just cost the price of ingredients. Of course I’m not asking you to pay for it. What do you think?”

Remus chewed on his lip, eyes roaming over you. “I think it sounds like a waste of time. You said you wanted to try and find a cure and this doesn’t sound like a cure to me.” He crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow.

At his words, your mouth dropped open. Things were going so well and of course he had to ruin that. “Well, no it isn’t but I don’t see an issue starting small. Listen, give me the month to come up with some sort of plan. I think a potion will be our best shot but honestly, if you aren’t managing your pain then I’m going to assume you won’t take this seriously.”

“If I take things for the pain, how will you know if your potion is actually helping or if it was just the pain management?” Remus asked and when you didn’t answer right away, he smirked. He had you there.

“Fine. Don’t take anything for the pain but I expect you to take whatever potion I give you.”

“And how will I know it's safe and nothing will kill me?”

You groaned, clenching your fists so tightly your nails were digging into your palms. God he was infuriating. “Then I guess you’ll just have to watch me brew the potions!”

“I can’t think of anything I would hate more.” Remus rolled his eyes.

“Well,” you started, “unless you can think of a better solution, I guess I’ll be seeing you at my house tomorrow after work.”

Remus opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it, and then closed it again. “Fine.” He grumbled.

You stood and without sparing him a second glance, you stormed into the house. As you gathered your things and a few cookies, James and Lily popped into the kitchen. “How did it go?” James asked, a hopeful smile on his face.

“Lovely.” You groaned and apparated out of their house.

Remus came inside only a few seconds later, a scowl on his face. He grabbed a handful of cookies and shoved one in his mouth.

“How did it go?” James asked again, hoping his friend would have a better answer.

“Fuck off Prongs.” Remus mumbled with his mouth full before he apparated away as well.

James turned to Lily who only shrugged. “Sounds like it went great.” He said with a smile. Lily rolled her eyes, taking a cookie for herself. “At least neither one of them are dead. I was worried we would come back to a dead body.”

Series Taglist

@screamingsilence3 @daydreamandforget

[georgie-weasley]

Deep Wounds: Chapter 1.5

Warnings: Remus is avoiding his feelings, mentions of pain

Word Count: 1k

A/N: As a little reminder since it has been so long since I posted anything about this, there are full chapters that focus on the reader (that's you!) and then what I called half chapters that are shorter and focus on Remus and friends

Series Masterlist Series Taglist

Remus laid on the couch, his arm covering his eyes. He could hear his friends whispering about him only a few feet away. They often talked about him and his condition in hushed tones like it was some sort of secret but there was no point. Remus knew what kind of monster he was; they didn’t need to pretend he didn’t. “Can you stop pretending I’m not here and speak at a higher volume so I can decipher what you’re saying?”

The whispering stopped at once. Remus peaked out from behind his arm to see the group of four moving from the doorway to surround him in the living room. Sirius lifted Remus’s legs and sat down, resting the werewolf’s feet on his lap. James and Peter sat on the floor while Lily stood behind the couch and busied herself looking at the new scars forming on Remus.

“Want to fill me in on your secrets?” Remus whispered, moving his arm so Lily could look at his face. Since she found out about his monthly issue, she had taken on a sort of motherly role. She was always checking on him and trying to feed him and do her best to help heal him but that was never her strongest magic. But it was nice to have her care so much for him even if he didn’t want to bother her.

“James was just filling us in on your trip to St. Mungos.” Sirius let the silence hang after he answered. Remus kept his eyes closed but he could feel everyone looking at him. When no one else spoke, Sirius continued. “Are you really going to let some random girl help you find a cure?”

Remus sighed and sat up with a groan, causing Lily to rush into the kitchen to grab some ice. “No, I’m not. I had no choice though since James wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“That’s going to be awkward.” Lily handed Remus the ice before she took a seat next to him on the couch. “James said she’s coming over here after her shift.”

Remus put the ice on his right shoulder, sinking into the couch. “When she gets here I’ll tell her that I changed my mind and she can leave. I don’t need her help. I have you guys and that’s all I need. There’s no reason for some random girl to give me pity and spend her time and my time making a cure that won’t work.”

“Why not?” Peter spoke up from the floor. “She wants to help so why not let her.”

“I don’t know her Wormtail. I don’t know a single thing about her besides the fact that she seems to think she can help me. She could be doing this because she has pity or because she thinks this will get her points in the medical field.” Remus felt like he was making fair points but the look on James’s face told him it wasn’t enough.

“Moons, I think we all know why you don’t want to accept help.” Remus watched James and shook his head. “I think you’re scared to be let down.”

Remus quickly stood, ignoring the way his body screamed in protest from the quick movements. He didn’t want to sit around and hear James’s ridiculous ideas. James may be one of his best friends but he didn’t know a single thing about this life that he was forced to have. He needed a walk, he needed air, he needed to get away from everyone for just a minute. It’s only been a few hours since he was out of control of his body and attacked by a hippogriff and forced to go to the hospital where a healer refused to take care of him because of what he is. Not to mention a random healer decided to wedge her way into his life to try and help him for whatever reason. He needed a nap.

Remus headed out to the small backyard and collapsed onto a plastic chair. He closed his eyes and felt like maybe he could relax for a few minutes before the door slid open and Lily walked out. Remus grew close to Lily during their last few years at Hogwarts and he was beyond thrilled that she joined the little group of misfits they had. She had a bond with Remus that none of the boys could ever come close to replicating. He loved his friends and he was closer to them than anyone else in the world but his bond with Lily was special. He thought that their relationship would be one like he could have had with a sister.

She pulled another chair over and sat next to Remus, handing him the ice pack that had fallen when he stormed off. “I suppose you’re here to convince me to go through with this.”

Lily sighed and shrugged. “Not really. I think you should give it a shot but you’re right. You don’t know her and while it seems nice that she wants to help, you don’t know why she would. James was just excited to know there was someone else that wanted to help.”

She carefully rested a hand on his arm. “We all just want you to be happy and to have a good life that you deserve. Everyone is just excited at the idea that maybe this healer could be the one to help that.” Lily glanced at a new scar on his arm. “And if she’s as good at potion making as she is at healing, then I think she really could help.”

Remus looked at his arm. He had plenty of scars all over his body but the one on his arm that you had fixed earlier that morning was harder to see than the others. In fact some of them you did such a good job that there was hardly any evidence he had been hurt there in the first place. You had done a better job than anyone else ever had so maybe that did bode well for a cure.

“Give her one month, just one chance to figure this out and if it seems to go well or you think she isn’t weird, then it can’t hurt to keep trying. It really can’t hurt to give her a shot.”

“Fine but just one month.” Lily smiled and left Remus alone with his thoughts as she went back inside. He would agree to one month of help but Lily was wrong. This could end up hurting so many people. Remus had been hurt by strangers and friends but nothing hurt more than getting his hopes up only to have reality come crashing down on him and continuing to be a monster. This could hurt a lot.

Series Taglist (This is new. If you are tagged now that's because you were on a general taglist. After this installment, the taglist will only include people in the series specific taglist)

@100gaysnails @weasleybuns @s1aaaaayyyyyyyt @steelthistle @asuperconfusedgirl @jsjcue @Andy200700 @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @daisydark @creepybloodykitty2 @avatheveela @themarauderswife7 @mintyme101 @islayhawkin @lovesanimals0000

[georgie-weasley]

Deep Wounds: Chapter 1.5

Warnings: Remus is avoiding his feelings, mentions of pain

Word Count: 1k

Summary: After his visit to the hospital, Remus is regretting his decision to humor you. Lily begs him to give you a chance.

A/N: As a little reminder since it has been so long since I posted anything about this, there are full chapters that focus on the reader (that's you!) and then what I called half chapters that are shorter and focus on Remus and friends

Series Masterlist Series Taglist

Remus laid on the couch, his arm covering his eyes. He could hear his friends whispering about him only a few feet away. They often talked about him and his condition in hushed tones like it was some sort of secret but there was no point. Remus knew what kind of monster he was; they didn’t need to pretend he didn’t. “Can you stop pretending I’m not here and speak at a higher volume so I can decipher what you’re saying?”

The whispering stopped at once. Remus peaked out from behind his arm to see the group of four moving from the doorway to surround him in the living room. Sirius lifted Remus’s legs and sat down, resting the werewolf’s feet on his lap. James and Peter sat on the floor while Lily stood behind the couch and busied herself looking at the new scars forming on Remus.

“Want to fill me in on your secrets?” Remus whispered, moving his arm so Lily could look at his face. Since she found out about his monthly issue, she had taken on a sort of motherly role. She was always checking on him and trying to feed him and do her best to help heal him but that was never her strongest magic. But it was nice to have her care so much for him even if he didn’t want to bother her.

“James was just filling us in on your trip to St. Mungos.” Sirius let the silence hang after he answered. Remus kept his eyes closed but he could feel everyone looking at him. When no one else spoke, Sirius continued. “Are you really going to let some random girl help you find a cure?”

Remus sighed and sat up with a groan, causing Lily to rush into the kitchen to grab some ice. “No, I’m not. I had no choice though since James wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“That’s going to be awkward.” Lily handed Remus the ice before she took a seat next to him on the couch. “James said she’s coming over here after her shift.”

Remus put the ice on his right shoulder, sinking into the couch. “When she gets here I’ll tell her that I changed my mind and she can leave. I don’t need her help. I have you guys and that’s all I need. There’s no reason for some random girl to give me pity and spend her time and my time making a cure that won’t work.”

“Why not?” Peter spoke up from the floor. “She wants to help so why not let her.”

“I don’t know her Wormtail. I don’t know a single thing about her besides the fact that she seems to think she can help me. She could be doing this because she has pity or because she thinks this will get her points in the medical field.” Remus felt like he was making fair points but the look on James’s face told him it wasn’t enough.

“Moons, I think we all know why you don’t want to accept help.” Remus watched James and shook his head. “I think you’re scared to be let down.”

Remus quickly stood, ignoring the way his body screamed in protest from the quick movements. He didn’t want to sit around and hear James’s ridiculous ideas. James may be one of his best friends but he didn’t know a single thing about this life that he was forced to have. He needed a walk, he needed air, he needed to get away from everyone for just a minute. It’s only been a few hours since he was out of control of his body and attacked by a hippogriff and forced to go to the hospital where a healer refused to take care of him because of what he is. Not to mention a random healer decided to wedge her way into his life to try and help him for whatever reason. He needed a nap.

Remus headed out to the small backyard and collapsed onto a plastic chair. He closed his eyes and felt like maybe he could relax for a few minutes before the door slid open and Lily walked out. Remus grew close to Lily during their last few years at Hogwarts and he was beyond thrilled that she joined the little group of misfits they had. She had a bond with Remus that none of the boys could ever come close to replicating. He loved his friends and he was closer to them than anyone else in the world but his bond with Lily was special. He thought that their relationship would be one like he could have had with a sister.

She pulled another chair over and sat next to Remus, handing him the ice pack that had fallen when he stormed off. “I suppose you’re here to convince me to go through with this.”

Lily sighed and shrugged. “Not really. I think you should give it a shot but you’re right. You don’t know her and while it seems nice that she wants to help, you don’t know why she would. James was just excited to know there was someone else that wanted to help.”

She carefully rested a hand on his arm. “We all just want you to be happy and to have a good life that you deserve. Everyone is just excited at the idea that maybe this healer could be the one to help that.” Lily glanced at a new scar on his arm. “And if she’s as good at potion making as she is at healing, then I think she really could help.”

Remus looked at his arm. He had plenty of scars all over his body but the one on his arm that you had fixed earlier that morning was harder to see than the others. In fact some of them you did such a good job that there was hardly any evidence he had been hurt there in the first place. You had done a better job than anyone else ever had so maybe that did bode well for a cure.

“Give her one month, just one chance to figure this out and if it seems to go well or you think she isn’t weird, then it can’t hurt to keep trying. It really can’t hurt to give her a shot.”

“Fine but just one month.” Lily smiled and left Remus alone with his thoughts as she went back inside. He would agree to one month of help but Lily was wrong. This could end up hurting so many people. Remus had been hurt by strangers and friends but nothing hurt more than getting his hopes up only to have reality come crashing down on him and continuing to be a monster. This could hurt a lot.

Series Taglist (This is new. If you are tagged now that's because you were on a general taglist. After this installment, the taglist will only include people in the series specific taglist)

@100gaysnails @weasleybuns @s1aaaaayyyyyyyt @steelthistle @asuperconfusedgirl @jsjcue @Andy200700 @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @daisydark @creepybloodykitty2 @avatheveela @themarauderswife7 @mintyme101 @islayhawkin @lovesanimals0000

[georgie-weasley]

How long do you like your fanfics?

1k words or shorter

Between 2k and 5k

6k or more

Other (please tell me what other means or like if it depends)

Voting ended onJun 19, 2025

What’s the ideal fic length? I usually don’t pay attention when I write and just write until I’m done but what about y’all? Is there a length that’s too much? Too short? Do you like reading longer ones but prefer writing shorter ones? I’m so nosy. Please fill me in

[georgie-weasley]

How long do you like your fanfics?

1k words or shorter

Between 2k and 5k

6k or more

Other (please tell me what other means or like if it depends)

Voting ended onJun 19, 2025

What’s the ideal fic length? I usually don’t pay attention when I write and just write until I’m done but what about y’all? Is there a length that’s too much? Too short? Do you like reading longer ones but prefer writing shorter ones? I’m so nosy. Please fill me in