Gunshotbaby

i watch movies and talk about myself

[ggunshotbaby]

Introduction

My name is Danny, I am 18 years old, and I am using this blog to journal online and push myself out of my comfort zone. I like to read books and am currently trying to get back into watching movies after my therapist described me as "not a TV person" which annoyed me. I really do love watching movies but have been in a depressive slump for a very long time that has left me unmotivated to continue watching movies or reading books. I will post reviews here.

I might also talk about thoughts that cross my mind on occasion.

Strawpage

[ggunshotbaby]

May 2026 Review

I haven't posted much here recently, and I'm sorry. My life has been kind of hectic with graduation closing in on me (terrifying, I know) and varying emotional episodes. This post is really just to recap everything I've done this month.

This week alone I have left my house 4 times (yes FOUR) when before the end of school I averaged maybe once a month outside of class. I'm trying to be happier with everything but I still can't stop myself from feeling doubt over everything in my life. Major impostor syndrome recently. This weeks outings included: 2x graduation party - MET A TON OF NEW PEOPLE!! 1x bookstore trip 1x hangout at friend's house

MOVIES WATCHED: Can't Hardly Wait (1998) Anaconda (2025) Wolf Man (2025) Good Will Hunting (1997) CURRENTLY READING: Don't Let the Forest In by CG Drews

[kisseism]

undiagnosing myself. there is nothing wrong with me i am #normal

[ggunshotbaby]

I had to do attendance recovery yesterday and the supervising teachers knew all the students so well that they were getting life updates and were familiar with figures in their lives. I wish I had a relationship with a teacher like that but I can't stop myself from feeling like I'm getting too old to want something like that. I don't think my life is interesting enough for anyone to want updates, though, so I guess it's okay that no one really takes interest in it.

[sleeplesscigaretteghost]

[ju6iter]

[ggunshotbaby]

It's an indescribable feeling to believe that people only talk to you for their own personal gain with no interest in your life and then your therapist ends the session vaguely venting about another client.

[vittosecretdiary]

[ggunshotbaby]

Last day of my senior trip and I've come to the understanding that none of my friends actually care about me as a person.

[ggunshotbaby]

April 22, 2026

I skipped school today because last night I told my mom I wanted to die and she's letting me stay home. It feels weird because when I've told her this in the past she sends me to school anyways, so I don't know why she's suddenly changing her reaction. I wish people would stay predictable sometimes. I don't like not knowing how people will react to something.

My 2nd class teacher said that there is "no hope" for me to pass her class. In front of everyone. Because I asked if she could sign a permission slip for a field trip. I don't even need her class to graduate but I the field trip is for the only class I need to pass to graduate this semester.

Whatever. I'll have to do make-up school anyways for my attendance. If I don't graduate I'll probably just drop out instead of repeat. Never catch me being a super senior.

[guyfailurespecialist-deactivate]

[crybabyindistress-deactivated20]

[ggunshotbaby]

Told my brother I was going to hit him as a joke (I say this a lot) but then he said "you never do" so I punched him in the arm and he punched me back so I thought we were even, then he slapped me in the face and I pushed his arm away and he slapped me again. Everyone is saying I hit him twice but the second time was me trying to get him to stop (+ he hit me 3 times so I don't understand the argument) and he blamed it all on me. My mom pretended nothing happened and blamed it all on his autism when I said I was still upset. I hate this house.

[ggunshotbaby]

April 16, 2026

I didn't talk a lot today. My best friend told me I looked sad and I was happy that she noticed but then I got embarrassed so I just said I was "in a mood" and scratched at my hand for the rest of class instead of doing my work. I should have done my work because now my hand hurts and I have 3 projects to work on when I could've cut it down to 2.

I talked the most at lunch because we were all reminiscing and sharing stories from middle and elementary school since one of our friends moved here freshman year and didn't know about any of it. I almost skipped lunch to read in the library but I'm glad I didn't because talking with them was fun. I forgot how much I liked talking to them sometimes because I usually just read during lunch.

I woke up very sad this morning. I think that's why I have been sad all day. I don't know why but I wish I did.

I hope tomorrow will be better, so I should probably do my work.

[ggunshotbaby]

Archie's Final Project (2009)

This review contains movie spoilers!

I watched this movie for the first time last night after hearing about it for years online. The editing at first caught me off guard but I found it very endearing later on as I got to know Archie's character and identity. The characters felt so deep despite their limited time on screen and I found myself relating to many of them in many different ways. I really enjoyed the organic feeling that the shaky camera work had, even when outside of the perspective of Archie or Sierra's cameras.

Archie himself is a very interesting person, feeling so stagnant in his life that he thinks the only thing he can do next is end it. Sierra saying Archie wanted to die because his life was too easy really hit me the more I thought about it, because you follow Archie's mentality throughout the movie and get to understand the psychological motives behind his project and the influences of the people around him (mainly his parents) that don't get seen by an outsider perspective -- just like Archie calling Sierra perfect when he didn't know her personal struggles and ideation.

Corey was also a very interesting character, who had such a big presence despite his little scenes. When he was first introduced, I knew that he was going to have an important relevance to the plot. And when he died, I was genuinely sad. Leading up to his last moments, you could see in his face that there was something eating away at him and that he wasn't going to be there for much longer. His actor (Zachary Ray Sherman) did such an amazing job.

In the end, Archie's journey to finding out he wants to live is very compelling and resonates with me on such a personal level that I was brought to tears when he chose to live and abandon his final project. I was shocked to find reviews online saying that he should have gone through with it, though.

This movie has changed me in a way that I don't know yet, but I can feel it. I just need to figure out how.

[ggunshotbaby]

My posters are printed and up! I am so happy! My depression is cured! Hurray!

[ggunshotbaby]

April 15, 2026

We had to go to homeroom today for a reading program thing and my homeroom teacher (who is very nice and I love her) wasn't there. She had a substitute and I was very nervous around him. I don't usually stand for the pledge of allegiance in class because the motion makes me very dizzy and gives me a headache, so I didn't do it today because I thought it was fine (no one has given me trouble for it before). I was wrong. The substitute came over to me immediately after it was over and said "Who are you, protesting the pledge? I lost 60 of my friends in the military, so you should be careful who you do that with" and I immediately started crying. I tried to read my book but I couldn't focus because all I could think about was how awful of a person I was for not standing for the pledge this morning even though I never stand for the pledge.

The rest of the day was kind of a blur, I remember being sad in my second class because my friend barely talked to me and didn't say bye to me when she left. But I know she was dealing with her own stuff so then I felt bad for being upset about it.

I just finished an online therapy session and the office sent me 3 different call links so I guess I joined the wrong one and waited for 5 minutes before noticing I got another email with a new link and my therapist had been waiting for me the whole time. I felt really bad about it because I try really hard to be punctual. She told me to be nicer to myself but that just made me cry because I don't know if I can right now. I'm trying really hard.

I finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower, it made me cry (again) (but the book this time).

[ggunshotbaby]

Spring Break 2026

Spring break is officially over and today was my first day back at school. My 2nd class teacher kept saying none of us had any work ethic and were unlikely to finish our assignment on time, she even grabbed my shoulder while walking behind me and asked if I was doing my work. I don't like it when people are behind me or touch me, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to sound weird. I just nodded my head and continued to not actually do my work. Then she specifically called me out by name and told me to "wake up and start working" and I cried because I'm just really not doing great emotionally right now and am trying to just get by my last month of school. She likes to present herself as someone who understands and listens to you but shuts you down when you actually try to talk to her about something that is bothering you, or she switches up depending on the day -- it is very confusing and makes me nervous to talk to her.

My third class went on a field trip to the river where I saw a bunch of old missing persons posters. They looked cool but I got sad when I realized the person was never found and felt really guilty for being interested in them.

Over spring break I watched 3 movies:

The Perks of Being a Wallflower All the Bright Places Archie's Final Project