The Ghost Of Cuke

𓉸ྀིfather of gh0st3dblr 𓉸ྀི they/he 𓉸ྀི 24 𓉸ྀི mdni

[gh0stlycuk3]

They exorcised me!! Please help me find my moots? Previously known as ghostcuke and cukencayenne :)

[gh0stlycuk3]

h^ngry so imma take a shower and drink some black coffee <3

[crescentmoonqueenbee]

Is it just me or is it easier to eat less if I don't eat anything at all instead of something small?

[gh0stlycuk3]

forever craving that people ask “does he even eat”

[gh0stlycuk3]

Day IV Of Locking In

I’ve had zero motivation to actually lock in and I’m so pissed at myself. I keep asking myself how badly I want this. And I do want it but I still can’t seem to put my money where my mouth is instead of f00d :/

And I don’t understand why I g4!ned so much today. There’s no way this is real. But still I’m scared and angry and filled with self loathing

- - -

Stats

!bs: 122 (why)

- - -

The Game Plan

I’m really trynna f4st as long as possible today. I got a busy day today helping my gran and then FaceTiming my folks with my boyfriend to discuss travel plans this winter, and then FaceTiming my friend this evening. Hopefully with all the social plans I can avoid 0v€r€ating or even €at!ng at all

- - -

Currently…

Getting ready to go see my gran

[august-may]

rules i have for myself as someone who works a demanding job while heavily restricting:

always have a snack in your bag for emergencies, like if you get suddenly dizzy or nauseous. best if its something like crackers or pretzels that you can pick on and put back that doesnt make a mess. better yet if its something you don't like all that much so you wont want to eat it.

similarly, always have some pain meds for headaches, body aches, etc. we dont need to suffer needlessly.

dont feel bad for needing a low cal energy drink. 10 cals will not make a difference in the long run :)

never accept food from work. this is more applicable to me bc i work childcare and I feed them snack and lunch and it can get so tempting watching them eat while very hungry, but if you need to eat you eat your emergency food. nothing else.

always have a full ice water bottle. no excuses.

feeling sick and fatigued as a result of restricting is not an excuse for me to call off work. I need to build a tolerance for this if i hope to keep making progress.

[boingingstriver]

if you can get up and get food, you can get up and get your steps in. stop making excuses for yourself

[gh0stlycuk3]

4n@s with jobs tell me how tf do y’all do it

I got 4 jobs, 2 of which are very high stress and 2 are fairly physically demanding (1 of em is a remote job and verrrry part time tho so that’s easy) and I want to be able to have a low !ntake and f4st lots but when I do I simply cannot perform physically nor mentally at work :/

[gh0stlycuk3]

Day III Of Locking In

Hoooooly fuck. Yesterday was fucked. Long story short is I had to call the police on my client again. I hate having to do that, I hate 🐷s but we didn’t really have another option :/

Anyways as a result I got home and 0ver4te :/ it wasn’t a b!ng€ thank god and I ended with a net of 739 but still bruhhh

- - -

Stats

!bs: 120 (im gonna crash the fuck out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

- - -

The Game Plan

Today I’m helping my friend move and I’m really trynna lock the fuck in……. Pray for me 🫠 I’d like to do some y0ga before I leave but I am oh so exhausted

- - -

Currently…

Staring at the wall questioning life itself

[gh0stlycuk3]

I did not do yoga but seeing my friend today was so lovely :)) but we did order hot pot and I 4t€ way more than I wish I did :// I’m doing some weight lifting now tho pls pls pls c4ls just turn into muscle pls

[gh0stlycuk3]

just did a short one cuz it’s almost 1am now………, whoops

[gh0stlycuk3]

Day III Of Locking In

Hoooooly fuck. Yesterday was fucked. Long story short is I had to call the police on my client again. I hate having to do that, I hate 🐷s but we didn’t really have another option :/

Anyways as a result I got home and 0ver4te :/ it wasn’t a b!ng€ thank god and I ended with a net of 739 but still bruhhh

- - -

Stats

!bs: 120 (im gonna crash the fuck out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

- - -

The Game Plan

Today I’m helping my friend move and I’m really trynna lock the fuck in……. Pray for me 🫠 I’d like to do some y0ga before I leave but I am oh so exhausted

- - -

Currently…

Staring at the wall questioning life itself

[gh0stlycuk3]

I did not do yoga but seeing my friend today was so lovely :)) but we did order hot pot and I 4t€ way more than I wish I did :// I’m doing some weight lifting now tho pls pls pls c4ls just turn into muscle pls

[gh0stlycuk3]

Day III Of Locking In

Hoooooly fuck. Yesterday was fucked. Long story short is I had to call the police on my client again. I hate having to do that, I hate 🐷s but we didn’t really have another option :/

Anyways as a result I got home and 0ver4te :/ it wasn’t a b!ng€ thank god and I ended with a net of 739 but still bruhhh

- - -

Stats

!bs: 120 (im gonna crash the fuck out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

- - -

The Game Plan

Today I’m helping my friend move and I’m really trynna lock the fuck in……. Pray for me 🫠 I’d like to do some y0ga before I leave but I am oh so exhausted

- - -

Currently…

Staring at the wall questioning life itself

[ther3almisaamane]

Put it down, you'll feel so much better on an empty stomach won't you angel?

[prettiestb0yinthem0rgue]

reminder that you're still valid even if you only do low restriction, or don't workout, or eat stuff that's not salads, or eat three meals a day. you don't need to fit the typical 'skinny white girl who works out three hours of the day and lives off of diet coke, cigarettes and the ocassional salad'

[gh0stlycuk3]

Day II Of Locking In

Hi friends :) I ended yesterday with a net of 356! Today I work from 3-11pm so I’ll have to €@t before I go cuz I work a fast-paced and chaotic job that often doesn’t give me the chance to take a break to €@t. And my bf and I have a date at our local coffee shop before then :3 I’m probably gonna get an almond milk cappuccino

Also I was silly and 4te my vitamin gummies before I w€!ghed in so I’m nervous it’ll affect my stats :/

- - -

Stats

!bs: 119.4 !!!!!

- - -

The Game Plan

I’m only gonna bring my favourite pr0t€in bar to work and drink a shit ton of coffee 😂 if I have time I’d also like to do some y0ga before I leave too

- - -

Currently…

Getting ready for the day :3

[gh0stlycuk3]

Day I Of Locking In

Hi hi hi we are so back :3 how is everyone I missed my moots

I was gone for a while cuz I got attacked at one of my jobs and my arm got sprained and in the midst of all the chaos I just kinda shut down 😅

But I’m back at work now and my days have been filled with seeing live music, playing guitar and singing, and I’ve started getting into fermenting things :3 I’ve made a LOT of kimchi and sauerkraut lol

The other thing is that life got ahead of me a bit and so I ended up g4!ning a shit ton,, so I’m back again!

- - -

Stats

!bs: 120.6 :(((

msrmnts: 35 / 27.5 / 32 (bruh)

BF: 19.8% (I do not trust this)

- - -

The Game Plan

Okay. So. I already don’t €@t most c@rbs (breads, rice, pasta, sugary drinks, potatoes, etc) and most of my d!€t is composed of vegetables, tofu, and a lot of coffee. But peanut butter has always been my weakness. If I have it in the house I will sometimes quite literally only eat that. And I feel bad about my !ntake bc of it. So I think I wanna try doing a harm redux approach. Instead of only eating, say, 9 tbsp of low-f@t pb in a day. I can bring it down to 6. And then to 4. Or whatnot.

I also usually do some form of €x€rcise every day—y0ga and walking / hiking are my favs. I gotta be mindful of my limits cuz I’m physically disabled (my doc thinks I have POTS) (also I have a doctor now!!!!). But I wanna try and slowly get back into biking, too. It’s so fun and I miss it. So I’m gonna try to do one of those things every day if I can help it :)

- - -

Currently…

Doing some y0ga and drinking the leftover iced coffee my friend got me yesterday (it has a bit of almond milk in it)

Later today I’m gonna see another friend of mine and I’m hoping to f4$t until then :3

[gh0stlycuk3]

y0ga done :3 + bc below the c^t

relaxed vs. posed

oh how i miss having visible b0n€s

(also i don’t support st@rb^cks, my friend brought me an iced coffee from there yesterday and i didn’t wanna waste it)

[gh0stlycuk3]

Day I Of Locking In

Hi hi hi we are so back :3 how is everyone I missed my moots

I was gone for a while cuz I got attacked at one of my jobs and my arm got sprained and in the midst of all the chaos I just kinda shut down 😅

But I’m back at work now and my days have been filled with seeing live music, playing guitar and singing, and I’ve started getting into fermenting things :3 I’ve made a LOT of kimchi and sauerkraut lol

The other thing is that life got ahead of me a bit and so I ended up g4!ning a shit ton,, so I’m back again!

- - -

Stats

!bs: 120.6 :(((

msrmnts: 35 / 27.5 / 32 (bruh)

BF: 19.8% (I do not trust this)

- - -

The Game Plan

Okay. So. I already don’t €@t most c@rbs (breads, rice, pasta, sugary drinks, potatoes, etc) and most of my d!€t is composed of vegetables, tofu, and a lot of coffee. But peanut butter has always been my weakness. If I have it in the house I will sometimes quite literally only eat that. And I feel bad about my !ntake bc of it. So I think I wanna try doing a harm redux approach. Instead of only eating, say, 9 tbsp of low-f@t pb in a day. I can bring it down to 6. And then to 4. Or whatnot.

I also usually do some form of €x€rcise every day—y0ga and walking / hiking are my favs. I gotta be mindful of my limits cuz I’m physically disabled (my doc thinks I have POTS) (also I have a doctor now!!!!). But I wanna try and slowly get back into biking, too. It’s so fun and I miss it. So I’m gonna try to do one of those things every day if I can help it :)

- - -

Currently…

Doing some y0ga and drinking the leftover iced coffee my friend got me yesterday (it has a bit of almond milk in it)

Later today I’m gonna see another friend of mine and I’m hoping to f4$t until then :3

[wistfulday]

Someone tell me how to be physically afraid of food. Im so tired of overeating🫩