25

"All's well that ends well but I'm in a new hell everytime"

[ghastlyabode]

I'll be a better person. A more focused, devoted person. Less distractions, more work. I trust onto you my guardian angels, and I believe in you. Guide me through this life and help me become better each passing day.

I thank you

I love you

I'm sorry

Please forgive me.

[ghastlyabode]

You're the reason I'd always want to come back to my college city.

[ghastlyabode]

Why should I hold anything against the people who've broken my heart ? I've broken my own heart way too many times than I can count and I still continue to do so.

[ghastlyabode]

I can't do this again. I can't take upon another project of a person to help, just to avoid what's tearing me up inside yet again, I need to stop hiding behind other people's pain.

[ghastlyabode]

Someone once asked me if I have someone in my life that I take from, given the fact that I've always been the giver. My mind went blank. I started thinking to myself "Take? How can I ever take anything from anyone, isnt that wrong? I cant do that."

And I iterated the same to her. To that she explained to me that to have a sustainable existence , one that is fulfilling and peaceful, you need to have such transactions or better yet, energy exchanges because nothing is perpetual and nothing is ever-giving besides God himself. If you continue to give and give, there will come a day you'll run out of everything you have to give because you didn't realize that you need to replenish yourself from time to time as well.

That struck me like lightning to be honest. And if I have to answer that question in all honesty, I'd say I dont really have anyone like that. I never thought that is something that I might need.

So here's day 1 of understanding that I need things as well.

[aidashakur]

[ghastlyabode]

Haven't you had plenty of disappointments already? Where do you draw the line ? When do you say enough is enough? Can you even say that ? Maybe 5 years from now, you might find yourself wishing you'd have wasted less of your time and emotions with this.

[ghastlyabode]

A safe space of respect and reciprocation, not another battle okay?

[ghastlyabode]

I think I've started lying to myself again

[surqrised]

“A healthy relationship is where two independent people just make a deal that they will help the other person be the best version of themselves.”

— Unknown

[remanence-of-love]

[remanence-of-love]

[stricatul]

sometimes ur only closure is knowing that u had a good intentions & a good heart

[remanence-of-love]

[remanence-of-love]

[remanence-of-love]

[surqrised]

“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say. I just watch what they do.”

— Andrew Carnegie