the ghost story we became

what lived & died between us, haunts me still

[ghcststory]

𝐠𝐡𝐜𝐬𝐭𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 . . .

independent | multi-muse & ship | low activity warning: shippy, smutty & mature themes ahead!

30+ indie writer | ships, smut, crime, slice of life, & fantasy / period plots are my bread and butter. my comfort zone is chaos—ships littered with angst, forbidden love affairs, scandals, pining, enemies to lovers, toxic relationships, and all mess in between. but there will of course be fluff and tender moments too! check out my rules before responding and minors do not interact!

rules | muses | wanted plots | starters

[lasaraconor]

[luriddaze]

santi chuckled, shaking his head as he looked down at her hand resting on his thigh. "do i, though? she'd definitely leave me out here to rot," he joked, his tone playful despite the truth in his words. the alcohol in his system did little to dull the warmth spreading through him from being so close to ines - her hand resting on his thigh, her face just inches from his own. he stretched an arm along the back of the couch, fingers just barely brushing her shoulder as he gazed a moment too long at her. It wasn’t right - she was his girlfriend’s sister, after all - but something about her drew him in. the liquor only made it harder to silence the forbidden thoughts of her swirling in his mind. at her words, he grabbed his drink, lifting it in her direction before taking a long sip. "alright, miss independent. now you're challenging me? you're such a bad influence on me. is your plan to get me so drunk that you can take advantage of me or something?" the man joked with a playful wink.

[ghcststory]

the thought of being careful had been thrown out the window well before he even sat down beside her. but to say that the proximity between the two didn't send her further down that damn rabbit hole, would've been a lie. ines was trying to fight - desperately and deliberately. if only he hadn't paved the way for her. "i'm not a bad influence! take that back." the chuckle came out low and raspy, and she flicked her hand up, the back of it colliding with his chest before finding it's way back to his thigh. as if some magnetic pull had her, she couldn't find the strength to pry it away. she took another drink, before she leaned over and put the bottle on the table. "and trust me, there would be no taking advantage here." she was going to really hate herself for what she was about to say, but fuck it. "you'll be just as willing." she smirked, leaning back in the couch, this time resting against his arm that draped behind her.

[fairiewines]

should everyone not be taught to defend themselves? whether you were leading a battalion to war or tending to newborn children mikale viewed it as a necessity, as basic a skill as learning to bathe. "in that case i may have lost some good men, i have no doubt that you could be a fierce fighter if you wished it." she certainly had spirit, he would openly admit that much. it came as no great surprise to hear that her father deemed women to be seen and not heard, to spend their days shackled to their hearths with a baby on their hip. "because he feared what would become of his rule if women had a voice, if they had options", the king remarked quietly, "my father was very much the same, a firm believer that to give power to anyone but men was to risk his grasp on this country. i fought tooth and nail to allow women to train, to learn how and where to stab a man where it hurts the most — it was not an easy change, but it happened regardless." marriages could be strategic, of course they could, mikale could have given himself to another country, a king unwed with land and opportunity. yet he refused, perhaps it was foolish but one of the few decent things his father had taught him was that a marriage should be pure, loving and passionate. at the mention of binding himself to ysara the deceased patriarch was likely screaming at him from the other side, yet when mikale looked upon the princess he did not deem it to be such a horrid fate. far from it. "i am sorry that was your view of marriage, our parents shape us greatly. but we do not have to repeat their mistakes, we can be better if we choose to be." would ysara's future back in her home country involve being shackled to a man she did not care for? it was a sad thought. "them? oh, oh you do not need to fret about that, princess. they will likely tease you, or me, they care little for societal norms when outside of war rooms and meetings." ysara would see herself in time how his closest friends could be loose tongued and vulgar, entirely uncaring when in a comfortable space. "i truly am sorry it has come to this, i have waited and waited for him to send word or send anything and yet ... " here she was, in a new country with a strange man eying her as she fussed with her soup. "now please, finish your soup for me? i will not sleep tonight if i do not know you have a full stomach ysara. i swear to you it is delicious, my cook knows her way around vegetables and chicken."

[ghcststory]

"i think you give me too much credit," she muttered, fingers idly tracing the rim of her bowl. "i’m more likely to stab myself than an enemy. and even if i wanted to learn, i doubt anyone would take me seriously." she shrugged, a small, almost bitter smile curling at her lips. "not when they’ve spent their whole lives being told women belong in silk and embroidery circles, not in training yards." perhaps it was foolish to be so pessimistic and bitter, but given the past few days she had, she felt it was within her rights to be a bit somber and dismal. "well, i would like to not make their mistakes, but my mother and father have taught me much about marriage. duty, honor, and a loveless one, at that. and now i sit here, across from you, and have to think about the possibility of spending the rest of my life bound to you, when i have not even known you for a week." her words came out sharper than intended, and the silence that followed was deafening. she wanted to take it back, to say anything that would bring them back from whatever edge they were standing on. "i just hope, when it does happen, that i am a good ruler." her voice was smaller, eyes dropping back down to the bowl. there was at least that to hold on to. that no matter who she were to marry, she would hold some sort of title, some sort of power beside her husband, and if she wouldn't have a marriage of love, she could at least love the people she swore to lead. with her focus now deep in the soup, ysara didn't have much choice but to listen to him and do as she was told, after her little commentary. taking a spoonful, she sighed at the warmth and the taste, a faint smile forming. "well, you should let her know that she's done a wonderful job. i would like to meet them tomorrow and offer my gratitude. i always remain close to the cooks back at home. though i cannot kneed bread for the life of me, i am quite talented in tasting everything ahead of time." it was an attempt to ease the tension she caused with her earlier statements. though he was the source of her frustrations and the reason she was there, he didn't deserve her ire. finally, she began to finish the meal, and after a couple more bites, the bowl was empty. "there, see? a full stomach. you can rest assured that the leader will be getting his beauty rest tonight."

[prythiaens]

𝜗𝜚 closed starter for @ghcststory.

"contrary to what you may believe," he explains in a tone much softer than his usual cadence, "you are not a prisoner here." everything about his presence and demeanor is curated to disarm her﹔glamour covering his fae features to appear more human - like. had rarely bothered to spend much time around humans, but the one before him now is enthralling. how curious was her fragility . . . her mortality. "tell me, what can i do to make these two weeks more comfortable ?"

[ghcststory]

she hadn't dropped the tension in her shoulders since arriving at the night court and it was obvious. ysara felt out of place, even more so than as a human amongst fae. and while he said she was no prisoner, she'd beg to differ. even with all the attempts to make her comfortable. "comfortable would be letting me go home." she muttered. eyes downcast, hands clasped together. "how do you expect me to feel the slightest bit at ease in a place known for it's...less than favorable reputation?" at least, from what she had been told, this place was a nightmare for her kind.

[lesbiradshaw]

Monica Barbaro at the 2025 Vanity Fair Oscar Party

[abrvcadvbra-archived]

closed starter for @ghcststory based off of this plot

Periodically, Tomas would be sent out for various jobs assigned by his father. A father no one knew about. Meaning, when he'd have to leave, false excuses would be given to his job, friends, hook-ups, etc. That's if he even gave them one. Carina had been a long time contestant in his rotation; a beautiful girl with a beautiful mouth. But that didn't constitute an excuse for his recent trip.

He was gone for six weeks, using up all of his vacation time but it was necessary. Finally back in action, Tomas had showed up at Carina's house uninvited. Yes, he understood why she was acting pissy. Well, he assumed he knew why. But the words fluttering out of those perfect lips were the last he'd think to ever hear. I'm pregnant.

Well, fuck.

Tomas physically froze. Shit like 'but my pull out game has been strong all these fucking years' and 'aren't you on the pill' wanted to come out. Nothing. Finally, after what felt like hours, Tomas moved to follow Carina. "Ya gotta give me some time to process this shit," he told her. "Are you keeping it?"

[ghcststory]

Without another word, Carina was storming into the kitchen because god damn, she deserved a drink for this. Too bad she couldn’t have one. "You gotta process? You?" she spun on her heel, pointing at him with the same perfectly manicured hand that should’ve been wrapped around a bottle of wine right now. "I am the one with a literal fucking parasite inside me, Tomas. You just have to sit there and not be stupid for once in your life."

Which might actually be asking for too much, honestly.

"Do not ask that." Her teeth gritted as she spoke, that typical Carina fire ever present. Even without a baby growing inside of her, she was had a flare for the dramatics but ever since that stupid pink plus sign showed up, things had been kicked into overdrive. It didn't help that his what? Six week absence left her alone with her spite and that was never a good combination. "But no, don’t be an idiot, Tomas. What, you expect me to play house while you’re off doing - whatever the fuck it is you do? Do I look like a ‘homemaker’ to you? Does this scream domestic bliss?" She scoffed, arms flailing around the expensive chaos that was Carina's life.

[smokecut]

Even by merely saying his name, Archer knew he had her. There was no mistaking the sudden loss of her sassy, playful tone, nor the slight weakening of her posture as she obviously battled with bursting lust. Another cocksure grin spread across his lips, the expression holding even as Indiana got ahold of herself and reverted back to her usual persona. Her reply made him laugh again. “I think I’m trying already… and succeeding, judging by your reaction,” Archer teased, winking at her, an assuredness about his smirk too. Desire burned in his eyes and stirred in his loins, his cock again twitching against his pants. He knew he didn’t have the time for even a quickie with her then, but he loved his arousal being stirred nevertheless. “I’d love to take the bet,” he added, fuelled by his excitement and desire, another chuckle following the statement. “I’ll take the bet all night long, Princess.”

@superscd

[ghcststory]

She was taken aback by his sudden forwardness, and though she tried her hardest to stay focused, and not to give in, she found herself slipping with each passing moment. Even as her mind screamed at her to shut it down, her heart raced and her body ached at the thought of what he could, and would, do to her. "My reaction? Anyone caught off guard like this would react the same way." She kept pushing to keep the confidence in her voice, but even she was starting to doubt it. "Maybe you should prove it, then. Take the bet. Win the bet. Fuck me." There was no going back now. She swallowed and the prominent lump that occupied her throat could be seen. "Find me after your little award show, and we'll see if you can deliver." A hand ran through her hair, and she bit her lip before turning her back to him, needing a break from his stare.

[fairiewines]

his words were a heady alcohol seeping through her bloodstream, a warmth lingering on cheeks and inside as his seed decorated her features. "you certainly do have a way with words, dear husband", the queen breathed, struggling still to catch her breath, to piece her muddled mind together. it had been a blur, almost a fever dream, how the pair had pleasured one another — how eleanor had seen stars behind her lids with his fingers buried inside her pulsing cunt and later with his cock nudged down the fragile length of her throat. "i ... i have not felt this way before, with anyone. nobody has ever treated me as anything other than a princess, fragile and hardly a person." yet castiel had taken what he desired from her, fucked her face until his prick was throbbing and release was imminent. it was addictive, his attention, his greedy and talented hands on her bare skin. tongue worked to lick his thumb clean, eyes drifting closed as his taste danced across her tastebuds. "mmm, i fear that is the only thing that will truly satiate me — i need to taste it from the source, my king." obediently eleanor looked upward, blinking slowly at her devilishly handsome husband. in that moment he could ask anything of her and she would obey, would do so with a smile on her cock swollen lips and a throbbing between her thighs. "if you insist", slowly she rose to her feet, unsteady for a split second before letting out the smallest laugh of amusement. such a thing had never happened to her before ; castiel literally made her weak in the knees. "gods ... your tongue is surely magic", the woman gasped as his wet appendage made contact with her cum slick skin. thighs pressed together as filthy words slipped from his sinful mouth. "i want you to take me in every way, castiel. i want you to take what no other man has taken before, do you understand me?" that tightly puckered hole that not even her own digits had neared was entirely his, if he wished it to be. spine bowed as he fondled her breast, nipple peaked and tight against his palm. "bath ... mm, yes", her mind was a haze, misty and completely incapable of rational thought. his touch undid her wholly. padding in his wake toward the bath she smiled knowingly at his hold on her, as if he could not bare to be without the contact. "worried i might run away, my king?" the woman laughed softly as he heated the water, all those powerful muscles on display and working — working her up too. "i shall instruct them to take more care, although i cannot fault them for not realising what tonight would entail." slowly the queen swung her legs to the side and eased herself in to the warmth of the water, sighing in bliss. "join me?" lowering her body down she slowly spread her legs, knees appearing above the pleasant water as she gently palmed her breasts, already missing his assertive touch.

[ghcststory]

her confession only made him hunger for her more. to hear that he was the only one to touch her in such a way, to ruin her like this? it was the greatest honor he had received in a long time. the smile that crossed his lips was smug, full of pride, and it stayed there as he was leading her towards the bath. "you are hardly fragile. and i will show you just how not-fragile you are." and now, as she slid into the tub, the water sloshing and the steam rising, castiel was ready. his gaze darkened, the smirk on his lips still prominent, and his body was stiff, his cock already hardening again. "run away?" he repeated, voice smooth, a little amused as he stepped toward the edge of the bath. "sweetheart, after tonight, you wouldn't dare." castiel was down to his knees now, his hand slipping into the water, swimming toward her and finding her thighs. the moment she was between his fingers, he gripped, and his eyes lifted, staring up at her. "i'm a selfish man, wife. i'll have you any and every way. i'll take you on the throne, in the dining hall, on the castle steps. and after," his voice dropped, chuckling, "i'll take you here." the thought forced another throb through his length, imagining how tight, wet and perfect she'd feel when he finally got to fuck her. "but not yet." his hand reached out, cupping her face and forcing her gaze toward him. when he rose again, he let his hand grip around his cock, stroking slowly, lazily. he let her look for a moment longer before he finally stepped into the bath, the hot water licking up his thighs, his waist, soaking him as he sat across from her. "they should expect every night to entail something like this, if they have any idea who they are serving." reaching for her, castiel tugged, pulling her to him, his legs spreading to fit her body between. "and if they so wish, they are more than welcome to watch." he wasn't even careful with the way he suggested such a thing, but he was the king and if he wanted his entire court to witness his wife cum on his cock, then so be it. it wouldn't stop him. he'd still take her, fuck her, ruin her, and then take her again. "how would you like that, my love?" a hand sunk deeper into the water, finding her breast, thumb running over her pert nipple. "letting your ladies in waiting watch as their queen is fucked senseless?" the smirk never left his face. he was enjoying the conversation far too much, the thought of showing her off, putting her on display? it had him salivating. "i know i'd enjoy it."

[luriddaze]

audrey swore she was getting wetter by the second as his next words caused a more devious smile on her angelic face. "they'll never have me," she murmured, her voice a sultry promise. "and I think it’s time they knew that." before she could say more, he pulled her into his lap with effortless strength, claiming her in a way that left no room for doubt. the blonde straddled his strong thighs, her dampening panties resting against the rough fabric of his jeans. in that moment, she silently praised her choice of wearing a skirt tonight—it made everything much easier for the man. a whimper escaped her plush lips as he took a handful of her hair and used that leverage to press dominant kisses against the sensitive skin of her neck. the teasing of his lips and the gentle scrape of his teeth sent shivers down audrey’s spine, igniting an aching need between her thighs. unable to stop herself, her body moved on instinct, a slow, desperate roll of her hips against him, seeking the friction she craved. a breathy moan spilled from her lips, and surely, his friends must've heard. "i can't wait until you fuck me, baby. i've been craving you all day," she murmured seductively. her shyness had completely dissolved, replaced by the raw hunger of her wicked side - the side malek seemed to love so much.

[ghcststory]

his grip on her tightened, fingers digging into her thighs as he pulled her just a little closer, like he was making sure she didn’t even think about getting away now. not that she would. not when she was already grinding on him like that, all needy and aching, her soft little moan punching the air right out of his lungs. all he could do was growl, the primal hunger in his eyes as he looked at her. "fuck, baby." the words came out in a strained, harsh breath as malek pressed his mouth to her neck again. his hands slid down her thighs and under her skirt, groping and squeezing and sliding back up to grab her ass, shoving the fabric of her skirt out of the way until anyone who was around them could see the panties that kept him from her. "god, look at you. such a good fucking girl, aren't you?" his voice was a low, deep murmur, vibrating against her skin as he trailed his mouth lower, down her throat and over her chest. malek paused there for a moment, taking in the sight of her breasts and the way her shirt clung to her body, leaving nothing to his imagination. with one fell swoop, he was yanking the shirt down, part of her bra going with it as a small fleshy mound popped out, bouncing lightly. he wasted no time before his mouth suctioned around the tender skin, tongue lapping and swirling before biting down, hoping to elicit another moan for everyone to hear. "come on baby," he groaned through his teeth, his free hand guiding her hips, helping her grind against him, allowing her to feel his cock already straining behind the fabric of his jeans. "make some noise for me. you know they wanna hear."

[lightsbookreviews]

Devious Obsession, S. Massery

[ghcststory]

@fairiewines

[lightsbookreviews]

Twisted Lies, Ana Huang

[ghcststory]

@fairiewines

[ghcststory]

i've been so behind due to all the craziness at work ahhh but i promise to be back around to get to things as soon as the workload lightens up!

[heroexxs-a]

a small sigh slipped his lips as he avoided her eyes for a moment, taking in what she was saying. he couldn't peace together how he couldn't have both, her by his side and still this life he had built for himself, but now it seemed too far beyond reach. a small, sad chuckle slipped his lips as he shook his head and finally turned back to look at her. "do you think i hate you?" hate was the last emotion that he could ever feel for her, whether she had left or not he knew he could never feel that towards her. "i just don't get it, tess. why did my dreams have to come first? it could have happened another way, shit it could have happened years later i don't know." he said still trying to wrap his mind around all of this. as he took a sip of his coffee, he shook his head once again before pushing his hair out of his face. while he did enjoy the fame and being able to write his own music, he didn't know it would come at the cost of losing her. "all that time… i mean, shit c'mon you know nearly every song was about you." when he was head over heels in love, writing came easily to him. he could write albums worth of what it felt like to love her, and slowly he could see why he had been drawn back here to write a new one. this town held so many memories, and he knew that someone higher up was probably hoping he could make another hit or two. "they still are." he said with a little shrug of his shoulders. a waitress came over again to ask if they wanted something to eat, and chase asked if they could have a bit more time. "want to get anything? get whatever you want, it's on me."

[ghcststory]

he seemed so hurt and rightfully so. it gnawed at her, ate away at her insides and made her feel worse and worse with each passing second. the last thing she wanted was to hurt him, and yet, that's exactly what happened. the worst part was there still more to the story and if he was this upset and hurt by her ending things to spare his dreams, she couldn't imagine how he would feel when he found out what else she had done. "well i kind of wonder if you do now. i mean, i would get it if you did." tessa swallowed thickly, her chest expanding and retracting rapidly, as if it were struggling to fill with air. "chase, i just.." the way he was laying into her, without even having to say much, was proof she had made a terrible mistake. maybe he would've been fine had she just talked to him. but no, instead she chose the easy route, and she chose to spare him. at the time, it was what she felt was right, and what was best for him. but now? fuck she feared for having to tell him the truth. but like a savior, their waitress stepped in, giving them a chance to breathe, and a moment for tessa to try and gather her thoughts. "can i uh, a coffee please, with sugar and milk and...—do you have something a little stronger to throw on in there? hell, i'd even do a shot or two of bailey's." the last thing she wanted was alcohol on an empty stomach, but a little bit of liquid courage would definitely help get her through this. "and pie. my daughter," she paused, remembering she was their daughter. "when she gets here, she'd like a piece of the french silk. it's her favorite." looking at chase, her eyes met his and she offered a weak smile. once she was gone though, that's when things shifted. "chase... i don't know what to say. i mean i do, but... well, the longer i sit here, the harder it is for me to form a single sentence. i wish i could've done this differently. and i wish i could say the right things to make it okay, but i know the second i open pandora's box you're gonna hate me. like really, really hate me. and you'd have every right to, because it's very, very clear i ruined everything." tessa's words came out in a jumbled, rushed mess, and the longer she sat there, the more the reality was starting to set in.

[ghcststory]

closed starter for @prythiaens

Velaris was particularly alive this evening. The city bustling with fae, almost all drawn in by the night market that ran every weekend this time of year. Drystan on the other hand was only here because of them. His inner circle, who was off wandering about, and Aeryn — the newest addition to his list of people he was now responsible for. As the pair weaved through the fae, Drystan kept them in his peripherals at all times - probably taking this guard duty thing a little too seriously. And though Aeryn may have been stuck here but they weren't a prisoner per se, which meant he needed to ease up on the act. But when too swiftly and suddenly someone broken through the crowd, the male moved without thinking. His grip on them appeared out of nowhere, a sharp tug pulling Aeryn by the waist and into his grasp. The impact never came, but for the fae around them it had. A small crowd of people now honed in on the one who'd caused the accident, while Drystan now had his eyes on them. "You move through a crowd like you’ve never been in one before." Maybe they hadn't, what did he know? "If you had been half a step forward you'd be on the ground right now."

[heroexxs-a]

With the door finally closed behind them, Jessie was able to take her hood off and relax slightly. Thankfully, here and with him, she finally felt like a target was taken off of her back, at least for now. Out of the limited number of people they had run into, she had to hope that no one even suspected them to be anything but a couple needing a room. "Oh, no," she said with a small smile as she slipped her coat off completely and sat on the edge of the bed. "After all that you have done for me and for keeping me in one piece, we can share." She didn't see anything wrong with this; it was just the two of them, and her husband didn't need to know, which made it alright in her eyes. The less he knew, if he even cared, the better. "We still have a full day coming up tomorrow, and after everything you've done, you need this bed as much as I do." She was exhausted, both mentally and physically, after their first day back to the kingdom. While she knew about the controversy that came with the crown, she never thought that she would be in it's direct line of fire. "When is the last time you had a decent night's sleep? I insist."

[ghcststory]

He hadn't even thought about the repercussions that could've come should anyone find out about the two of them even sleeping in the same room. Though the circumstance called for such, he wasn't so sure the king would take the same excuse. "I couldn't possibly," Khol muttered, shaking his head. His gaze found her, and it lingered a bit too long before he cleared his throat and shifted on his feet. He was meant to be a man of composure, yet somehow she managed to leave him feeling anything but. "I've spent many nights, far worse than this, awake and alert. And while the comfort would be appreciated, you are a lady and the future Queen. I will not take your bed away from you." It was a battle of wills, one that Khol didn't feel right winning. "We could argue until the sun comes up, Your Highness, but then I am afraid neither of us will get any sleep. At least let one of us rest tonight. Please." He gestured, moving to the small bench to begin taking off his armor, piece by piece.

[h3rtzoom]

"I think its just the effect you have on me. I'm the softest for you," she teased but it was true. It was as if Tre's presence had somehow melted away all of the usual skepticism that Alma had when it came to relationships. Maybe it was the honeymoon phase or maybe Alma had been looking for Teresa in every person she had been with. So she knew that no matter what this trip became, she would fight for whatever they had. She held her hand happily and allowed her daydreams to flow as freely as possible.

It felt even better to have Tre reassure her. It made it pretty hard to believe otherwise. It was overwhelming but Alma felt strangely ready for it. As if she had spent all this time just waiting for Tre to be ready. "Okay, Veronica it is. That's super sexy. Okay wow, I give you sexy badass and you give me nerdy cat lady? You hate me," she told her with a loud laugh. "So then what should be my name? The nerdy engineer worthy of Veronica? How do you think we met? Maybe when I was out walking my cat - wait people don't do that. Maybe we met at Trader Joe's, that sounds super gay." She gave Teresa's hand a squeeze as she imagined this alternate timeline. "I'm pretty sure I can spin car talk into engineering talk."

[ghcststory]

Alma's reaction forced a snort from Tre's nose as she maneuvered the car onto the highway. “Hate you? Babe, I’m challenging you. Big difference,” she teased, a smirk tugging at her lips. “Besides, you’re hot. Imagine how hot you’d be if you were also a genius with a cat named Steve? That’s peak girlfriend material.” But if she were honest, everything about Alma was peak girlfriend material for Teresa. Sure the idea of settling down and staying committed to one person and one person only scared the shit out of her, but when it came to Alma, it was always different. There was no one that compared. “As for the name... maybe something like Eleanor, but only so I can call you Ellie. And we definitely met at Trader Joe’s. It was one of those...are one of these melons bigger than the other type scenarios. But because you're like a total genius you started explaining the anatomy of a fucking cantaloupe to me, when all I was doing was trying to get your number. Of course, in the end, it all worked out because now look at us. Veronica and Eleanor, destined lovers."

Unable to keep her eyes, or hands really, off her, Teresa continued shifting her view between the road and Alma. It was crazy how the woman managed to make her feel so safe and so anxious all at once. Like at any moment she could lose her and that would be it for Teresa. It was the kind of fear she hated, too. But to have her back? Like this? Well she couldn't exactly let fear win in this case. "You know... I'm really happy you asked me to do this. Really fucking happy." She laughed. "I know it's probably crazy but.. I don't know, it's just been a really long time since I've been this happy..."