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park jinyoung, a twenty-one year old half-ghoul simply trying to survive

[ghjinyoung-blog]

` I NEED U.

[ghjunyoung-blog]

[ ... ]

[ msg to: jinyoungie ] ARE YOU OKAY?? [ msg to: jinyoungie ] i’ve been so worried about you ;;;;;;;;;;;;; [ msg to: jinyoungie ] yeah of course. is everything alright? i saw the news, it was you right? [ msg to: jinyoungie ] where do you want to meet?

he can’t stop the flood of messages, not waiting for a response to one before he’s typing the other out furiously. a couple weeks without jinyoung had him worried sick, and he’s not going to lost contact again without knowing that his friend really is all okay.

[ghjinyoung-blog]

he doesn’t have to wait long for a reply, the small, familiar noise sounding from his laptop only a minute later. his heart lurches in his chest and he wonders for a moment if this was a good idea. he’s started now, so he can’t exactly stop, he wants to back out, but he also wants to see junyoung in the flesh, meet the person who’s felt like the closest to him for a long time now. for a long time he’s been the one person jinyoung felt comfortable confiding him - but now he needs physical comfort, he needs it to be so much more real.

to: jun-bug i’ll tell you in person, but yes it was me. the station near my uni? in half an hour?

he knows it’s short notice, but he also knows junyoung isn’t too far away, and that he knows where jinyoung studies. he can’t be alone for much longer before he fears he’ll go insane. the darkness in his apartment has clung to the walls since he stepped in after his weeks in captivity. it’s cold, and he can’t seem to bring himself to eat any of the canned food he has in his cupboards, or even the cup ramen. 

to: jun-bug i know it’s short notice, but i need you.

it’s unlike him to think of himself, but maybe he isn’t himself anymore. maybe the person he was before died that day he wad kidnapped.

[ghanbyul-blog]

: saving grace :

[ ... ]

“pouting again, cutie?” she asks him, voice filled with sisterly affection. the freshly made latte is placed in front of him as he finally turns his attention to her. his eyes shine with recognition but it quickly dims along with his mood which makes her worry. “drink up, i made your favorite again although i put in an extra shot of vanilla to hopefully cheer you up. is everything okay?” 

[ghjinyoung-blog]

it’s been difficult, the pounding in his chest always present, reminding him he’s at least still alive, but also that had he not been through what he had, he wouldn’t be plagued by the incessant drumming that shakes his ribs like an internal earthquake over and over again. it’s tiring, in all honesty, constantly feeling on edge, like his life could end at any second, and wondering about a thousand times a day if he would even mind dying. 

his entire body feels heavy, despite having shed a lot of weight in recent weeks. it feels as though there’s weights in his shoes, his hood, as usual, pulled up over his head to shield himself from view, and to block out the world around him. he simply wants a coffee; to hold something warm between his chilled palms and feel like a mere human for just a little while, not some half-baked monster.

he doesn’t belong in this body anymore, with these foreign feelings, desires and urges. he isn’t him. missing who he used to be is futile, and he knows that full well, but it doesn’t stop the yearning in his chest for those peaceful, simple days of being nothing more than human. 

he sighs softly as hanbyul puts her finger to his lips, peering up at her for a moment before slowly raising both hands to push his hood off his head. a slight chill brushes against his ears and neck, but he’s glad of the momentary relief from the clinging darkness that the slightly too large hood brings to his peripheral vision. 

the sound of the vanilla laced coffee brings a small smile to the corners of his lips, and his eyes move straight to it, tongue peeking out to wet his lips as he feels his stomach tighten in anger at him for neglecting to eat that day. “nothing’s okay recently... there’s a lot to think about and deal with, y’know..?”

[ghjinyoung-blog]

You come home to a black, folded invitation on your dining table.

Was that there before? You can’t remember.

The trip home was creepy enough; being closely followed by a white van with no plate number is creepy enough.

There is nothing printed on the cover of the invitation, and so you decide to open it.

The following message greets you in delicate, silver script:

Congratulations! You have been invited to this year’s Munera as a BESTIARUS! The Munera is an annual peace-keeping event among select members of society. We’re sure this must be an honour. Unfortunately, we cannot allow you to travel to the venue yourself. We have arranged someone to pick you up, so you no longer have to worry about transportation! We will also have to hold you in a separate accommodation from your peers, in order to follow tradition. To keep the peace, blood must be shed.

Your opponent for this year will be: Ms. Seo Hanbyul.

Good luck, and be sure to enjoy yourself this year!

Outside, a heavy hand knocks against your door, once, and twice, shaking it by the frame. The third knock will surely send it down. Outside, you can hear the murmur of not one, not two, but multiple voices that can surely overpower you. Will you come quietly, put up a struggle, or attempt to escape? 

Blood must be shed...

In all his life Jinyoung had never harmed a living thing. Maybe he stepped on an ant, or a snail by accident, but he’d never even eaten meat. The change, old Jinyoung dying to make way for a new, impulsive and hungry Jinyoung, ha him frightened already. He knew what he was now - he’d have to be stupid not to, but the chill that swept through his bones every time it crossed his mind pushed him to keep it at bay. He’d not eaten a living being, and he vowed that he never would. If he could still live off human food, vegetables and beans and such, then that’s what he could do.

But this... He knew what the underlying suggestion was, and it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and his hands begin to tremble. Heart pounding inside his chest he dropped the piece of paper back onto his table and slowly turned his head toward the door. 

That was them, coming to get him, to make him ‘shed blood’. There was no back exit, but there was a small window above his bed. Was it worth trying to escape? Would he forever have to live in hiding if he chose to scurry off into the shadows? It was worth a shot.

The door shook with the force of the fists hitting against it, sending shock waves through Jinyoung frail form as he shakily rushed over to his bed and leant up to the window. It had a latch to keep it shut, but with his fingers numb from the chill outside and shaking from fear he was unable to get it undone quickly. The thrumming of his blood behind his ears made the room around him spin and swirl sickeningly, but his survival relied on his ability to calm himself in that moment.

Had he not been so nervous, so shaken and distracted by the circumstance slowly surrounding him, he may have managed to escape. But as the front door broke open with a crunch of splintering wood his body, thinner and weaker than usual, fell back onto his bed, eyes wide, settling on the two broad men that strode swiftly across his small apartment. 

Left speechless as large hands encircled his biceps, dragging him to his feet and leading him from the safety of his home, Jinyoung came to accept that his life may be over soon - and would that really be that bad, now that he was one of those monsters he’d always feared.

[ghjinyoung-blog]

` I NEED U.

his hands tremble above the keyboard, and for the third time already he shifts back in his seat, pushes his chair back and leans his head down to his knees. he needs him right now, he knows that. but can he trust him with this secret, can he explain his absence well enough to have his apology accepted? it’s been over three weeks since he first disappeared, and he’d been through the mess with the police that his parents insisted upon - they wanted to catch his kidnappers, even though jinyoung knew they never would. 

he hoped they didn’t either, because that would also mean his death, or the end of his freedom - he’d be locked away or killed for what he now was. but he needed to chance it, he needed to hope he could trust junyoung with this secret. he needed someone he cared so greatly for to be there for him right now. 

so he pulls his chair closer to the table once more and lets his fingers rest on the keyboard, before he types out his message, eyes flicking over the multitude of ones from junyoung that he’d sent while jinyoung was ‘away’. 

to: jun-bug i need you. can we meet? im sorry

he hits send before he can overthink it. it’s messy, but it contains everything he needs to say for now. he knows junyoung will have questions, and he isn’t eve sure if he’ll have the answers, but all he needs is to see him, face to face for the first time. 

being online friends wasn’t enough for him anymore.

@ghjunyoung

[ghrei-blog]

❝😒❞ dude, you need to chill ;

[ ... ]

taking off her hoodie, she quietly sighed. ‘what good will come from this?’

rei executed the ghoul quickly and cleanly as she crept behind the ghoul and released her rinkaku — one tentacle was necessary — to behead the other ghoul.

while making sure that her mask was well adjusted to her face, she turned herself to the other one. “are you okay?”

[ghjinyoung-blog]

it's been a long time since he left his home and ventured further than the borders of the 23rd ward, and he knew he would regret it. he’d needed a book from a shop in the 25th ward, and instead of finding someone to accompany him, or waiting until he knew how to simply survive better, he’d set out alone, and unable to even control his desires. 

the scents that plague him now night and day seem constant, and no matter how long he spends surrounded by the mouth-watering aroma of flesh he can’t seem to get used to it and block it out. he can barely keep himself from losing control - he’s not even sure what that would entail. he doesn’t know who he is anymore, he isn’t jinyoung, but this new him, this him he despises, is a stranger that does nothing but scare him. 

he’s evil. pure evil. 

he never even gets to the bookstore, the dimly lit street stopping him in his tracks. he’s not sure where his mind had wandered off to, but finding himself in what appears to be an almost pitch-black back alley did nothing for the hammering of his heart. but it was the footsteps behind him that stopped him in his tracks and intensified his already hurried breaths. 

it’s a blur really, the ground hitting the back of his head making his vision blur and spot black for a minute - it’s long enough for the figure above him to shift and hold him down. maybe it’s for the best - is he even sure if he wants to carry on being what he is now? he isn’t even sure what he is. but he doesn’t like himself. 

that, however, does nothing to quench the fear that bubbles up his throat and escapes in a shrill shriek of terror. as much as he hates being alive right now, death still scares him, and the pain he knows he must be about to feel scares him even more. he doesn’t want to die this way, if he’s to die at all.

but he stills as he feels the figure fall to the side and a thick, warm liquid splatter across his face. he lays there for a moment, slowly realising the figure above has been killed in mere seconds, before he turns his head to lock his eyes on a second unfamiliar figure. the words of concern, even weak, finally relax him enough to let the shock and fear send trembles through him, his whole body shaking. 

“i’m... i’m okay- why did you help me?”

[ghjinyoung-blog]

so i finally got some plots up, which you can find here if you’re interested. jinyoung is still very much open for plotting, and needs everything from angst to fluff, so bring whatever you’ve got to me and we can get the ideas rolling! if any of my plots interest you just shoot me a message! 

[ghjinyoung-blog]

DID I SEND ONE YET?? [ CHEERLEADER VOICE ] GIMME A K! (K!)

kiss kiss fall in love - closed

15. kiss in the rain

laughter flutters like the wings of butterflies beneath the night sky, the raindrops falling fast. it’s that kind of rain that feels wetter than usual rain, but jinyoung doesn’t mind as he squints upwards, reaching out to take junyoung’s hand and tug him closer, winding his arms round his middle and grinning at him like he’s that christmas present that a little kid really, really wanted. 

“dance with me.” he simply says, stepping backwards, his fingers trailing down to junyoung’s hands and taking them in his own as he begins to make them both spin in circles. for a while it’s enough, but then jinyoung slows, tugging them together again and leaning his forehead to junyoung’s, gazing at the pretty brown eyes he can’t help but want to stare into for hours. 

sometimes he wonders if junyoung would let him if he asked.

“i like this, dancing with you in the rain. it’s romantic, don’tcha think?” 

his arms curl round him once more and he smiles as junyoung’s do the same, then as they sway in circles he tilts his head to ghost his lips over junyoung’s. he lets them linger there, the touch feather light and almost nonexistent, before he closes the gap and kisses him, smiling against his lips and humming happily. his lips are wet from the rain, but jinyoung doesn’t care.

he hopes junyoung doesn’t either.

[ghjinyoung-blog]

i want the k

kiss kiss fall in love - closed

8. eyelid kiss

he can tell he’s tired by the way his eyes droop, watching from his seat across the table from his. he isn’t sure why he likes to watch him drink a hot beverage outside the cafe on nights when he asks to meet, only having a small coffee himself, but he decided a long time ago he likes the peacefulness of his company. they don’t have to talk, even though sometimes they do, but even when they don’t it’s the same feeling. 

but as his head drops forward, making jinyoung chuckle, he leans across the table, propping himself up on his forearms, and kissing over both of howon’s eyelids. he leans back with a laugh as his eyes flutter open, a confused expression on his face - jinyoung likes these meetings, and he always will.

[ghjinyoung-blog]

i want the k~

kiss kiss fall in love - closed

19. forceful kiss

he’s frustrated, something he so rarely is to this extent. his emotions are unstable, ever since he was changed into this monster. he grabs at the front of myungsoo’s shirt, shoving him with all the strength he posses, which isn’t much, against the nearest wall. his breath feels as though it’s caught in his lungs, yet he can hear his own breaths coming in harsh puffs. 

they lock eyes for a moment, and jinyoung can’t tell whether it lasts for hours, seconds, decades - maybe it’s a millisecond, maybe it’s a simple glance, but it feels like he can see the entire universe in myungsoo’s eyes. it’s like he can see into his soul, if only myungsoo wasn’t guarding everything so well - it’s like there’s a wall separating him from the real myungsoo inside.

his eyes are closed and for a second he isn’t sure what just happened, until he feels the plush against his lips and notices how he’s leaning against myungsoo, head tilting to fit his lips with his. for a second he isn’t sure if myungsoo wants to kiss back or not - does he care though?

...of course he does, he’s jinyoung, when doesn’t he care?

[ghjinyoung-blog]

i want the k

kiss kiss fall in love - closed

3. nose kiss

it’s cold outside, which is pretty clear from the condensation on jinyoung’s windows. winter is approaching and the sweaters were dug from the back of his dresser, one dragged over his head, leaving his hair ruffled for a moment or two, and the other thrown to taehyung who sat on the edge of his bed. the coffee is brewing on the other side of jinyoung’s studio apartment. 

his hands shake from the chill in his bones as he pours the coffee into the mugs already standing ready on the counter, then tops them off with the frothed milk, tilting the mug to leave the pretty little leaf in the foam. its about the most he’s able to do when it comes to making coffee. if his companion weren’t what he was, jinyoung would have offered a nice hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows, but that isn’t the case. 

carrying the mugs over to taehyung he hands him one mug and watches as he takes a sip, lifting his head after a moment only to reveal a little foam settle on the end of his nose, drawing a soft laugh from jinyoung’s lips. 

it’s impulse that makes him step forward, lean close, and kiss the foam from the tip of his nose. the moment is peaceful, the quiet noise of the tv in the background adding to the comfortable atmosphere, and he’s finally glad he asked taehyung to spend the day with him.

[ghjinyoung-blog]

I WANT THE K-I-S-S

kiss kiss fall in love - closed

14. kiss along the hips

his skin is on fire, and it’s something he isn’t yet used to. was his attention not stolen so forcefully by the beautiful woman at his fingertips he’d have had to stop and lose himself in the warmth that seems to lick at his very organs, his lungs burning, and he can only imagine this is how suffocating feels, but it’s so much better than dreading the moment you’d pass on. 

so as his lips travel over her skin and his fingers flutter along the dips between her ribs he wonders if he can live like this forever, basking in the heat of it all, let his entire body become engulfed by the flames. but he doesn’t want to let go of his concentration, so he lets his eyes flick up to her face, to watch her expressions as he reaches her hips. 

he kisses softly along each hipbone, letting his tiers drag over the second - he’s never done this before, but he thinks maybe he’s being selfish. by the expression she wears tells him he’s not doing badly, he just hopes it isn’t all a lie, that he isn’t simply pleasing himself. 

after all, he lives to please. 

[ghjinyoung-blog]

I want the K

kiss kiss fall in love - closed

13. Stomach Kiss

he pouts as he tilts his head, eyes locked on nayeon, laying half asleep on his couch. the fever has her sweating, a pained moan wriggling it’s way through her plush pink lips every now and then. he knows she’s ill, that much is clear, but monitory her temperature helps him know whether or not it’s time to make a trip to the hospital. for now she’s not too hot, but her somewhat half-conscious state that she’s been in for hours already has him slightly worried. 

he presses the flannel to her forehead, shivering a little at the icy water that trickles down over the back of his hand to drip from his wrist and onto the couch pillow beneath nayeon’s head. “stomach... hurts...” he hears her murmur, shifting onto her back as her brow furrows and a soft, yet still clearly pained moan leaves her. jinyoung sighs, pondering ways that he can help her, but all he manages in that moment is to gently comb his fingers through her hair. her eyes flutter open, though the exhaustion is clear in the dullness in them. jinyoung pauses for a moment, before leaning down and tugging the hem of her shirt up slightly and pressing a single kiss over her stomach. with a broad grin he glances back up to her, “did that help?” he asks. 

her gentle laugh and tiny nod leave him satisfied, so he sits back on his heels and returns to watching her, the worry still ebbing through his system, though this time a slightly less icy feeling.

[ghjinyoung-blog]

k me ♡

kiss kiss fall in love - still accepting16. upside-down kiss“hey baek, look! i’m spiderman!” reaching a hand out he pokes at his friend on the floor, gesturing to his position on the couch, legs over the back of it, head hanging down where his legs should usually be. many times, as a young boy, he’d done this, and he assumes many other children did it too. the sight of an upside-down room was definitely something many people were not unfamiliar with. 

but he can’t help but laugh at the realisation that to his friend on the floor he could be spiderman, just moments after saving mary-jane. it occurs to him that baekhyun really does look pretty from this angle, not that he doesn’t look pretty the right way up, but it must have been the rush of blood to his head that made him reach out as his friend turned his head to look at him. 

he cups his cheeks, guides him closer, and presses a lingering kiss to his lips. he likes to think this is what it felt like for spiderman, but he isn’t sure the pressure in his head from all the blood is supposed to make it so uncomfortable.

but still, he spares a second to enjoy the soft warmth against his own lips.

[ghjinyoung-blog]

I want the K

kiss kiss fall in love - still accepting

11. collarbone kiss

eyes linger on the tv screen as he sits beside jinye watching the show he’d promised never to watch a new episode of without her. in his hands he holds a tin of biscuits, the lid seemingly glued on as his short nails pry at the edge of the lid. he thinks he’s making progress until his hand slips and his arms flies back, elbow knocking into jinye’s collar. “oh fudge i’m so sorry!” he hurriedly cries, setting the tin on the floor as he turns to fuss over her, worried he’d inflicted terrible pain on her. he barely even hears anything she says, so he, in a rush, tells her he’ll kiss it better. he leans forward, pushing the collar of her shirt to the side, and presses a soft kiss to the skin where his elbow hit, then sits up once more to give a questioningly tentative smile.“did it work? did it stop hurting?”

[ghjinyoung-blog]

I want the K

kiss kiss fall in love - still accepting

18. forceful kiss

one hand raises while the other reaches out, arm encircling her waist to tug her forcefully against his chest. it’s unlike him, or is it? he hasn’t known what’s ‘him’ since he was taken, experimented on and changed. is he even him anymore? what’s to say this isn’t exactly what the new him does. he ponders it as the raised hand cups her cheeks, thumb delicately tracing over her cheekbone. it’s a moment of delicacy among the forceful actions, but it soon falls away as his hand slides to the back of her head, fingers threading through the soft, long strands of hair. a rough grip at the roots pulls her head closer. his eyes search hers for a second before he captures her lips, plump and red, with his own, a hard, yet gentle kiss. tiers fit with tiers and the world slows around them. after a moment he breaks away, eyes once again locking on hers. the moment lingers, dissipating ever so slowly, until they’re left only with their heavy breath. 

[ghjinyoung-blog]

I WANT THE K ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ

kiss kiss fall in love - still accepting

10. neck kiss

his fingers trace along her spine as he gazes down at her, feather light brushes of fingertips fluttering along the subtle ridges that catch on the moonlight filtering through the window beside his bed. it’s a delicate atmosphere, reminding him of the time he stood alone under a cherry blossom tree and watched the petals fall around him.she’s beautiful - a kind of beautiful he’s never encountered before, one that makes his chest tighten and his breaths feel like thick honey is climbing up the back of his throat. he can’t take his eyes off her smooth, pale skin and the gentle curves of her shoulders, smoothing down to her back. his eyes lock on where the blanket lays, right where her back slopes up again, but he draws his eyes back up to her face.it’s his favourite thing to gaze at, the way she looks so peaceful when she’s asleep, it reminds him of the innocence that the current situation doesn’t have room for. he wants to thrust every little ounce of simple, childlike love back into the scene that not long ago lacked that altogether. so he leans down, without thinking, brushing her dark curtain of hair across and over her shoulder to expose her neck. a soft smile graces his lips as he lets his head drop to press a gentle, lingering kiss to the side of her neck right under her ear. her scent lingers there, clouding him mind.

[ghjinyoung-blog]

so hi there everyone i’m nell and this here is my little baby jinyoung! i’m so excited to be here this rp is literally everything i could want and everyone’s muses look so interesting and fun. i can’t wait to see how our lovely babies interact and get to write with you all! i currently don’t have plots up yet, but i shall get to that asap (if i can stop procrastinating everything) but for now i would absolutely love to brainstorm stuff or check out any plots you all have! so if you’d like to plot you can hmu in am IM here or if you’ve got twitter come harass me there (@nam_ewhyun) !