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@gigglegirlhappy
Saw Gooseworx’s post about Jax inflating when he holds his breath, and my brain immediately jumped to that one scene in Duffy’s Digital Circus where Nullble attempts to commit suicide by hanging, and their limbs slowly straighten out as they asphyxiate, keeping them from tugging at the noose.
Doodled this on the clock because my boss doesn’t deserve my respect and I deserve to get paid for drawing this.
Now that TADC Episode 9 is available to the public, I have some things to say.
This fandom is experiencing a literacy crisis on a scale I didn’t think was possible. I thought that the meme about people online not being able to handle particularly toxic characters and complex themes was a bit, but it’s genuinely true and I’m astonished. When I watched The Last Act in theaters, I thought the contextualization of Jax’s prior behavior as a series of elaborate masks to hide his perceived “effeminate” traits that he’s so embarrassed about was pretty masterfully conveyed, and to be honest, it single handedly saved Jax’s character for me. I genuinely would have hated him if he didn’t have all that emotional baggage. I’ve dealt with his type before, and I’ve permanently cut ties with people because they’ve behaved in a manner similar to Jax. Getting that peek behind the curtain humanized him in a way his character desperately needed, and I would’ve hated him if not for those moments where the mask slips and something real can be seen.
Which is why it’s insane to me that there are people out there with fully developed brains that think Episode 9 spent too much time on him, and not enough time on everyone else. Yeah, I would’ve also liked some time with Ragatha and everyone else, but their stories have already been told for the most part. Jax was still a loose end that needed to be tied down, and he deserved every minute spent on him. It’s not so strange that people were so quick to file him under the “irredeemable mysoginist” category when the show first started airing, but by this point we all should’ve been aware of the existence of nuance in his character. We’ve seen the mask slip, in particular during Episode 6, so the next logical step would of course be to strip him of it and lay him bare for all to see. Of course, because we live in a literacy crisis, there are Neanderthals out there who stubbornly continue to think of Jax as a simple bully character, and humanizing such a character would go against that limited perception.
What I’m particularly concerned about is just how this interpretation manifested itself within the community. When episode 9 leaked, those who chose to subject themselves to the horrors of the Brazilian language didn’t have much good to say about what they saw. When episode 9 released in theaters, those who chose to pay for tickets and experience the show on the big screen showed a lot more appreciation for the show’s writing and ending. Public opinion shifted towards something more positive. When episode 9 dropped on YouTube, everyone who avoided the leaks and either couldn’t afford tickets, didn’t have showings in their area, or otherwise couldn’t attend a showing at their local theater, voiced negative opinions again, mainly regarding Jax’s arc. The court of public opinion swung back to a more negative tone.
Maybe it’s because of the ease of access leading to more immature or illiterate people being able to watch the show. That’s my theory, anyhow. There are a lot of underdeveloped and unemployed brains in the TADC community, and with underdeveloped brains comes underdeveloped opinions. This, combined with the overall media literacy crisis that young adults are facing these days makes for a very immature community. The theatergoers likely had a more nuanced opinion of the show’s ending because that demographic consisted mainly of grown ass adults with jobs and a developed brain that can handle a little nuance.
This rant sounds harsh, and that’s because it is. This fandom is a prison, no wonder Gooseworx is so sick of us. Go take a high school English class and get lost in a book. The curtains are blue for a fucking reason. The book’s not gonna tell you why, go figure it out yourself.
Signed, someone who is sick of getting called delusional for saying Jax is trans when the only way it could be more obvious is if he dropped everything, turned to the camera, and went “Hi, I’m Jax from The Amazing Digital Circus, and I’m an eggy transfem dealing with internalized transmysoginy.”
They call it the D: drive bc when your shitty laptop overheats and kills both your ssds, irrecoverably destroying all your data including the only copy of the model you use for streaming, you go D:
You know those YouTube channels that read tumblr posts with Minecraft parkour playing in the background? One of those YouTubers must’ve happened upon my Tomodachi Life post and thought it was really funny, because I was scrolling YT shorts and I got jumpscared by my own blog. It was honestly kinda cool, seeing a post of mine breach containment, but it does lead me to the topic of content theft.
This channel did not reach out to me prior to uploading their video featuring my post, and I’m quite sad about that because I totally would’ve let them use my post if they asked beforehand. I will rarely deny these creators a post to read if they ask for my permission first, I’ll be so fr. The reason I’m even on tumblr in the first place is because of creators like PMSeymour introducing me to the tumblr climate. So, for future reference, I’d absolutely love to be kept in the loop! My DMs are wide open, gaping, even.
When I first started playing Tomodachi Life, I thought “70 miis? What a large limit! Surely I’ll never hit such a massive milestone for as long as I live!”
Now I have 67 miis living on my island and I’m physically holding myself back from making more bc I want some of my couples to produce children. This is torture, I wanna make more miis. It’s so much fun to make miis I wanna make more. John Nintendo I need you to up the limit to like a million or something so I can make as many miis as my heart desires. I don’t care if my eight year old switch 1 runs at 60 seconds per frame I need to make more miis.
Made another one of my horses into an Umamusume. She’s more down to earth and much less showy than Raven, but she can be a bit mischievous in her own right.
More information about Cody:
* She works as a cattle roper at a local ranch, and she loves her job (he was a cattle roper for the vast majority of his life)
* She only takes right turns when driving or walking, even when it’s more inefficient than the regular route (he struggles with turning left due to the aforementioned cattle roping background)
* She has a little sister, and she’s very protective of her to the point of aggression (when he’s separated from his brother, they both start crying and Cody starts biting other horses)
* She likes to tease other umas, but she takes it too far more often than not (he pins his ears and throws his head around at other horses when he’s bored or missing his brother)
* She’s a very uplifting presence when she wants to be, and she’s a fountain of wisdom beyond her years (he helped me regain a lot of confidence, and he taught me everything he knows about horseback riding)
* She has an insatiable appetite, but her weight barely fluctuates (we feed him so much, but he cannot gain weight to save his life) (lucky bastard)
* She has a limp, but she doesn’t really care about it that much (his head dips to the ground on every other step he takes) (his back hooves are also arthritic) (he’s old)
* Despite the aforementioned limp, she is shockingly agile and flexible (he insists on taking his right turns as tight as he can, possibly due to his roping background) (he also runs like a much younger horse despite being at least 30)
* Sprawling summer fields are her favorite places to relax and clear her head. It takes a lot of effort to get her away from a good field moment. (he lived on a pasture for a long time before he moved to a more traditional stall) (sometimes he would run away from me when I came to get him out)
I love thinking of these little lore bits because it’s a fun way to humanize my horse’s silly quirks and personality traits. Cody’s unique marbled eyes were a pretty unique challenge to capture, but I think I was faithful.
Made another one of my horses into an Umamusume. She’s more down to earth and much less showy than Raven, but she can be a bit mischievous in her own right.
I’ve been stressed out lately, and I’ve been losing a lot of sleep over a multitude of things, undiagnosed chronic illness being a major stressor. I rarely dream, but when I do dream, it’s always a psychedelic experience brought on by previous sleepless nights.
I had a dream a while ago that I was being hunted by my childhood self. After a while of evasive maneuvers, they shot me in the head, and then they smothered me with a pillow until I suffocated. They looked at my lifeless corpse and they started bawling, and I couldn’t comfort them because I was dead. I woke up in tears that morning.
My dreams typically look quite saturated and overwhelming. I can’t usually perceive faces, though.
You should consider participating.
Sobbing, crying, snot dripping down my nose at how much we’re literally the same person. I wanna tell him he’s loved. I feel like if I do that, he’ll melt into a puddle of tears and snot alongside me.
Purchased a Caine plush to cope with the shitfuckery that was The Amazing Digital Circus Episode 8. Everyone copes in different ways, and I’m coping by squishing him softly and telling him he’s loved and that he can rest now without worrying about the appeasement of the unappeasable.
In case anyone hasn’t already noticed, this episode struck several nerves in quick succession, strumming them like the strings of a well loved guitar. I’ve previously related heavily to the likes of Tenna, the Voice of the Smitten, Monika, and Vox, and it’s no coincidence that they all experienced a very similar crashout to both each other and Caine.
Tenna’s stuck in the past, milking nostalgia for all it’s worth, trying desperately to be entertaining enough to be worthy of staying in the Dreemurr household. He ends up crashing out because his efforts prove less and less successful with each attempt, leading to the breaking point being Susie’s demand to opt out of the bonus round entirely.
The Voice of the Smitten is in love with the Princess, and he knows if she leaves the cabin in the woods, he’ll be separated from her forever. He gives her everything she could ever want, and it’s wonderful at first, but it’s less successful with each repetition, leading to the breaking point being the Princess finally admitting that she hates it in the cabin. Does it count as a crashout if instead of flying into a blind rage, you just keel over and die on the spot? Perhaps.
Monika is in love with someone real, but she’s stuck in the confines of a dating simulator where she’s not a dateable option. She bends the world around her to her will to get us to pursue her, but with each major change she makes, we just get more and more unsettled and put off, leading to the breaking point being Monika’s deletion. Monika’s crashout is a lot more composed and restrained by comparison, but I still consider it important to note.
Vox has a major god complex, and he’s charismatic as hell, which is perfect for a hostile takeover of Heaven. However, Alastor, the one person who he can’t sway into servitude mocks him at every turn he can, even when Alastor’s at his lowest. He gets in his head, driving him mad and driving wedges between his two biggest supporters, and the final straw was when Alastor used what was essentially a terminology contrivance to weasel his way out from under Vox’s control.
The main connecting theme all of these people have is the innate fear of rejection. Tenna’s afraid of Kris rejecting him. Smitten’s afraid of the Princess rejecting him. Monika’s afraid of us rejecting her. Vox’s fear of Alastor rejecting him has already come to pass before, and yet he’s still afraid of it happening again. And Caine? He’s afraid deep down of the cast rejecting him.
And like everyone else, it came to pass. The cast rejected him one too many times, he broke right in front of them, and he died before anyone could hope to pick up the pieces.
I also have horrible rejection sensitivity, hence the heavy relatability mentioned previously. It’s something I’ve been working on, but it’s still pretty bad, all things considered. I guess it only makes sense that all of my favorite characters also have crippling rejection sensitivity. Funny how that works, huh?
Birth of a Rivalry is three years old! I never dropped the concept art for the Egg Harvest and the Delivery Egg, so consider this my third anniversary gift! I wonder how my readers envisioned these machines from just the descriptions given in the story?
The Egg Harvest was conceptualized almost immediately, and its design and function has remained unchanged since then. I am exceedingly proud of the concept, and I consider it the peak of my (admittedly middling) mechanical design capabilities. I designed it to be a cornucopia because the imagery of a cornucopia filled with fruit reminded me of a womb filled with child. The Bible often describes bearing children using the phrase “to bear fruit,” and I thought it was perfect. Even though the Egg Harvest doesn’t actually have any fruit in it, I feel like the imagery is still very evocative. I want to create a to scale functional replica one day, maybe as another anniversary celebration? I do have connections within the engineering field, but I don’t currently have the time, money, or space for such a large machine in my house.
The Delivery Egg schematics are pretty outdated in comparison, though. I’ve since decided to have the control panel completely separated from the rest of the machine, and I’ve also pivoted to having Robotnik attempt a natural birth as opposed to a Cesarian. The actual Delivery Egg doesn’t have all those scary scalpels and the like anymore, instead having several blunt probes with several different features relating to both health monitoring and easier natural delivery. Some have cameras for health monitoring, some help pry the victim open for easier delivery, and some help further restrict the victim to make the job easier, among other things. I initially designed the Delivery Egg as a rush job on Robotnik’s part because of the Egg Harvest fiasco, so it doesn’t have the dramatic flair that the Egg Harvest did. Robotnik simply didn’t have the time to make it anything more than what it was designed for. It’s intentionally underwhelming from a design standpoint. I don’t think I want a working replica of the Delivery Egg, though. It looks too much like an actual surgical table.
Birth of a Rivalry can be read on my Ao3, which can be found in my Linktree.
Ah, that little girl feels so distant now. I look at pictures of them, and I don’t see myself anymore. I’m my own stranger, I suppose.
[Video ID: The “I’m slowly forgetting your face” animation meme featuring a version of OP no older than five years old. Their face remains obscured through the video, through means such as scratchy pencil lines, missing source textures, video exporting bugs, a tear in a page, a large question mark, a Window’s blue screen, a real life Polaroid of OP and their elementary school friends with their faces scratched out, and.
The November Jack-O-Lantern is the child, stretched, yanked, painfully molded into the vague shape of an adult. This video is about them. This video is about OP. This video is about me. End ID.]
I wrote more Sonic fanfic. He’s giving birth this time.
Read Birth of a Rivalry: Rebirth today!
Link under the cut due to heavy themes.
This is Little Lord Cornelius of Shellwood. He doesn’t actually lord over any land or subjects. Rather, he’s the Little Lord of Hide and Seek, a title his papa gave him not long ago. He’s like, really good at Hide and Seek. He’s so good at Hide and Seek in fact that when Bellhart was strung up by Widow’s threads, he hid so well that she couldn’t find him! These days, he lives in an alcove in Shellwood that borders near Bellhart, where he challenges passerby’s to games of Hide and Seek. He’s currently undefeated.
Roughly a year ago, I posted a fanfiction on AO3 that involved a ship I thought was a real hear me out. The ship featured was Shadow x Pearl, and it’s one of those things that sounds shocking until you take a closer look and realize that they’re essentially the same character, just in different fonts. I knew there was absolutely zero canonical ground for the ship to stand in either canon, and I was okay with that. I was content with simply playing with my toys, throwing canon and caution to the wind while mashing together universes that had never interacted with each other before, and therefore had no business being mashed.
Enter The Chaotix Casefiles.
I learned today that Rebecca Sugar, creator of Steven Universe, wrote the theme song for the Chaotix Casefiles podcast series. While this is an admittedly minuscule connection between Sonic the Hedgehog and Steven Universe’s canons, it’s a thousand times more stable a foundation than what I was previously operating on, which was no foundation at all. My Shadow x Pearl crackfic has ground to stand on now, and I feel more confident in my life choices leading to said crackfic.
The crackfic in question:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/60302599
I’ve been talking on and off about my overwhelmingly negative opinion on Grand Mother Silk as a person, but I’d really like to dive into why I find her so vile. I’m dropping the Google Doc exposé on Grand Mother Silk and how her perception of motherhood has negatively impacted every single child she’s ever reared.
Hollow Knight Silksong is a masterpiece of a game, though I need not echo the sentiment of millions. One of my favorite aspects of Silksong
If Phantom is a Lucifer allegory, then Lace is an Adam allegory in every sense of the word. She’s Grand Mother Silk’s favorite creation, much like how Adam was once God’s, and both were born to be loyal to their creators. Neither God nor Silk had the kind of parental relationship an earthly parent would have with their children, opting instead for the kind of unfathomable love a creator shows their creations. Some less than professional schools of thought think this is more than a worthy substitute.
Adam fell into temptation and rebelled against God by listening to Eve, who herself had listened to Satan’s seductive half-truths, and partaking of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil with her. Despite bringing sin into the world, God still loved His creation, and made Himself man to die for our sins to save His creation from eternal separation from Him.
Lace fell into temptation and rebelled against Grand Mother Silk by growing jealous of Hornet (whose cloak is apple red, may I add) and making attempts on her life every chance she gets, culminating when Hornet sets off the Void Snare. Lace swoops in and slices Silk’s arm off, freeing Hornet from her grasp and dooming them both to the Void. Despite this betrayal, Grand Mother Silk still loved her creation enough to sacrifice the last of herself to save Hornet and Lace from the Void’s clutches, leaving herself to die.
Both Adam and Lace had plenty reason for their vices to torment them until they couldn’t take it anymore. Neither had a parent who could guide them to a better or healthier alternative. At least Adam had Eve. Lace just has her silkflies.