Purchased a Caine plush to cope with the shitfuckery that was The Amazing Digital Circus Episode 8. Everyone copes in different ways, and I’m coping by squishing him softly and telling him he’s loved and that he can rest now without worrying about the appeasement of the unappeasable.
In case anyone hasn’t already noticed, this episode struck several nerves in quick succession, strumming them like the strings of a well loved guitar. I’ve previously related heavily to the likes of Tenna, the Voice of the Smitten, Monika, and Vox, and it’s no coincidence that they all experienced a very similar crashout to both each other and Caine.
Tenna’s stuck in the past, milking nostalgia for all it’s worth, trying desperately to be entertaining enough to be worthy of staying in the Dreemurr household. He ends up crashing out because his efforts prove less and less successful with each attempt, leading to the breaking point being Susie’s demand to opt out of the bonus round entirely.
The Voice of the Smitten is in love with the Princess, and he knows if she leaves the cabin in the woods, he’ll be separated from her forever. He gives her everything she could ever want, and it’s wonderful at first, but it’s less successful with each repetition, leading to the breaking point being the Princess finally admitting that she hates it in the cabin. Does it count as a crashout if instead of flying into a blind rage, you just keel over and die on the spot? Perhaps.
Monika is in love with someone real, but she’s stuck in the confines of a dating simulator where she’s not a dateable option. She bends the world around her to her will to get us to pursue her, but with each major change she makes, we just get more and more unsettled and put off, leading to the breaking point being Monika’s deletion. Monika’s crashout is a lot more composed and restrained by comparison, but I still consider it important to note.
Vox has a major god complex, and he’s charismatic as hell, which is perfect for a hostile takeover of Heaven. However, Alastor, the one person who he can’t sway into servitude mocks him at every turn he can, even when Alastor’s at his lowest. He gets in his head, driving him mad and driving wedges between his two biggest supporters, and the final straw was when Alastor used what was essentially a terminology contrivance to weasel his way out from under Vox’s control.
The main connecting theme all of these people have is the innate fear of rejection. Tenna’s afraid of Kris rejecting him. Smitten’s afraid of the Princess rejecting him. Monika’s afraid of us rejecting her. Vox’s fear of Alastor rejecting him has already come to pass before, and yet he’s still afraid of it happening again. And Caine? He’s afraid deep down of the cast rejecting him.
And like everyone else, it came to pass. The cast rejected him one too many times, he broke right in front of them, and he died before anyone could hope to pick up the pieces.
I also have horrible rejection sensitivity, hence the heavy relatability mentioned previously. It’s something I’ve been working on, but it’s still pretty bad, all things considered. I guess it only makes sense that all of my favorite characters also have crippling rejection sensitivity. Funny how that works, huh?