Here is my masterlist of all of my works that I have to share.
Disclaimer: My blog & works are for 18+ readers only. Do not engage with my content if you are not of that age, please. These works are my own. You may reblog and share but do not repost them or use them in any other way without permission. Thanks!
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Sleep Token:
- That Which I Cannot See: Part I Part 2 [Bonus Scene] Part 3 (Complete)
Next writing project for me is to work on my book I've been wanting to write. I have thought about posting blips here but that doesn't seem like the best idea right now. As far as what I may continue to publish online, I have a ton of one shot and short story drafts that are unfinished. Maybe I'll finally finish them so I can share them when I need a little break from my book. :)
That Which I Cannot See - Part 3 (Final) - Missing Pieces
Respectfully, you may not use my work, but you are welcome to share it. My work is only intended for those 18 and older as it contains explicit adult themes.
Summary: In this conclusion to our story, things take a more intimate turn and masks may finally come off.
Pairing: Vessel x Fem!Reader
Tags: Mask play, concealed identity play, exhibitionism (sorta), PDA in public spaces, the shock of this being far more vanilla yet still as spicy as the others.
Word Count: 3.1k
A/N: I ran out of steam with this one. It took a lot of exploration as a writer to find a way to end it and it was a lot of positive growth for me. It might be a little rough around the edges because I really just needed to get it done and not be a perfectionist. Thank you to the concept of Vessel for being such a fun inspiration. Thank you to my real life Kallie for the beta reads and support. Thank you to everyone who has read this, to everyone who has left feedback, it's been so fun.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 2.5 (Bonus Scene) - Complete
Read on Ao3
Another masquerade ball and this time I am not dressed in gold. My dress is velvet, with a simple mask to match. We are at a New Year’s Eve ball, not an avant garde costume party. It’s for charity, I think. Not sure of the specifics. It was much closer to my home than our last excursion. Of course I accepted his invitation. Kallie went on her “casual” rant again. I know she’s probably right, but I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.
He was waiting for me in the hotel lobby, wearing a simple venetian mask, pale skin, no paint, sleek suit, no cloak. Our eyes met for the first time and I… I thought I would be more nervous. Calm washed over me, as he took my hand in his and led me to the waiting car. Just two regular people going to a party. Without games, without pretenses. And wasn’t that a little frightening. That maybe this has turned into something more than just temporary fun.
Maybe it’s been that way from the start.
I stare out over the railing, looking down at the dance floor below. Vessel returns to my side, stirring me from my thoughts, as he passes me a drink. We gently tap our glasses and I turn to face him. I take a sip. Staring. At everything I haven’t seen before. Like his hair, how weird is it that I didn’t realize I had never seen it? It wasn’t quite what I expected but not in an undesirable way. Just picturing running my hands through it, grabbing it, turns me on. His eyes. There’s a spark of constant curiosity. The planes of his face are no longer hidden. For once he looks… human.
“I’m not used to seeing this much of you. The top of your head to be specific. It’s a good thing… I like it.” He cracks a grin, eyes twinkling.
“Also eye contact. That’s new.” Heat creeps up into my face. His head tilts, his body shifting towards mine.
“Having my eyes bared to you is that arousing?” He teases.
“That’s not it.” I say, rolling my eyes. “It makes me realize everything you’ve seen. The different ways you’ve seen… me.” I try to put it politely, taking a nervous sip.
“I have seen you many ways.” He rumbles and my face grows hotter.
“I know you were obviously there with me but it sort of felt like no one was watching and now…”
“Now you can clearly see just who else was watching?”
I nod and take another sip, my mouth suddenly dry.
“I’ll remind you I did a lot more than just watch.” My eyes widen and I smack at his arm. Laughing, he catches my hand, holding it in his.
“But I understand. It feels different.” His eyes rake down my gown before returning to meet my gaze. Our fingers twine without a thought.
“There is something now that wasn’t there before.” He says softly. I inhale, forcing the tightness in my chest to loosen. Taking a bigger sip of what is definitely just lemonade with far too much sugar in it, I break our stare to look down at the people dancing.
“Would you like to dance?” I nod and he leads the way.
Time flies by as we dance to typical party songs. Never imagined I would be doing the Cha Cha Slide with Vessel. That was not on my bingo card. But boy was it fun to just be normal. The music slows and he pulls me in. With my arms around his neck, we sway along to the song. The tension in my chest returns as his stare turns serious. The way he’s looking at me is… too scary to fully acknowledge.
Just enjoy the moment.
Turning my head, I rest it against him. But the knot in my chest grows until I can no longer ignore it.
What did he mean by things being different? Why am I so afraid that this isn’t real? Maybe resisting the way I’m feeling is the real thing to be scared of. Maybe talking to myself in my head is the problem and I could just talk to him?
”I believe I am all danced out for the night.” Our swaying comes to a stop.
”Shall we see if we can find someplace quieter?” He asks and I untwine my arms from around his neck. Curling my hand around his offered arm, we set out to explore.
—-----------
He has me giggling like a schoolgirl when we finally turn down an empty hallway. The laughter trails off and his voice takes a more serious tone.
“I enjoy our time together.” His words elicit a little thrill through my chest that I do my best to ignore.
“We’ve certainly had some memorable adventures.” Flashes of me running through a dark garden flit through my memory.
“We have indeed.” I swear I can see his eyebrows wiggle from under his mask. “But it’s more than that. This started as a simple conversation online. It’s grown. I truly enjoy talking with you. Getting to know you. Spending time with you. I’d like to do more of that.”
Holy fuck this is exactly what Kallie was trying to prepare me for.
“Well I enjoy getting to know you as well. But what do you have in mind exactly?”
”What I have in mind is to make my intentions clear. I would like for our relationship to not just continue, but grow.” Oh okay that’s not so bad. “I would like to pursue something more serious. What are your thoughts?” Shit.
My thoughts freeze along with my body. Focusing on my breathing, I stare at our reflection in the floor length mirror before us. He is looking at me so intently and I am just… standing, silent.
“Is this not something you would want?” His head tilts expectantly, I can tell his brow is furrowed behind his mask. But I can’t even begin to get my thoughts to form words to respond to him. I’m still just staring. Say something. Start somewhere. Just be honest.
“No I would. I would want it.” I manage to get out.
“Would?”
“I do. I do want it… it’s not that I don’t I just… I’m scared.” I admit. The words come easier when I’m not searching for the perfect way to say something. What a concept. I should try this more often.
“Of what?” He asks in a soft voice.
“Of admitting that I want this. But what I am more terrified of is losing the opportunity.”
“So what will you choose?”
“Both. I would like that very much and I don’t want to miss the opportunity with you” He presses a kiss to the top of my head and all of the fluttering in my stomach settles into something much more pleasant. “I can do scary things.”
”Well I’m certainly living proof of that.” He says with a wink. “This will just be another form of doing.” That gets a nice laugh out of me. Without the usual getup, he is still an imposing figure against my smaller frame.
“I did wish we had more time to enjoy that mirror in your hotel bathroom when I last saw you.” His words get my mind turning.
“Well we have this one now…”
“That we do.”
I watch the reflection as his hands run down the sides of my velvet gown, catching at my hips. His nose nudges my ear.
“Are you looking?” Through the mirror, my eyes flicker to his, before darting to where his hands are slowly running down my thighs. The smooth velvet easing his movement. Hooking his fingers, he applies a slight pressure as he drags his hands back up toward the apex of my thighs. The sounds of the distant party sends a thrill running through me, as I am mesmerized, watching and feeling his touch. My body thrums at the sensation, heat pooling in his trail.
Weary of his slow teasing, I place a hand over his, dragging it up to my breast. His hand flexes under my hold, and my lips part as his touch grows bolder. The cool nose of his mask scrapes against my neck as his lips trail gentle kisses. It’s just the two of us and I want more of it.
“What do you desire this evening?” My question stops his movement.
“To ensure you have a wonderful time.”
“Hmm” I can tell his brow is raised from behind his mask as he stares at me intently in the mirror. “You know what sounds like a wonderful time? What if we get out of here? Go back to the hotel. Just us.” A smile graces his face.
“Is that what you would like?” I nod in answer.
“Back to the hotel it is”
With one last kiss pressed against my skin, he wraps an arm around me, pulling me tight against him. His free hand taps against his phone. I feel like I’m floating, and only slightly panicking, as we make our way to the lobby. My best friend Kallie’s voice rings through my head telling me to just fucking let yourself enjoy something for once and I focus on that. Dismissing the ‘what if’s’ as he sits on a plush loveseat, and I sit myself right on his lap. He seems slightly surprised by my choice, but his arms come around me and I melt into his embrace. I enjoy being close to him, maybe that’s something I should share instead of keeping it like some weird secret. God forbid this man knows that I enjoy him. Mentally rolling my eyes at my own convoluted patterns, I pull at the thread, unraveling this habit.
“I like being close to you.” My eyes widen at my honesty as I stare out into the lobby, for just a moment fear of rejection flashes through my chest.
His face comes beside mine. “Being with you is like stepping into sunlight after spending far too long in the shadows.” Hearing the smile in his voice immediately soothes my nerves.
We both turn, making eye contact. Giving in to my whims, I close the distance between us, skating my lips over his. But he doesn’t let me retreat, he follows, chasing my lips in a gentle claim.
—---
We can’t keep our hands off each other on the ride back to the hotel. But to our credit, we did keep our mouths to ourselves. For the most part.
Hand in hand, we hasten through the lobby, to the elevators.
Ding!
His arm hooks around my waist, dragging me into the small space. The second the doors close, he takes my face in his hands. Our eyes meet and hold in a heated stare. Brushing through my hair, his fingers find the ribbon of my mask, pulling it free. His eyes track across my face. Here it is. The final piece of my facade, stripped away. And it feels like acceptance as his mouth finds mine again. Exhilarated, I take hold of his lapels and press him back against the elevator wall. There’s a soft clank of my mask hitting the floor. My legs part as he grabs my leg and hitches it across his thigh. He rocks my hips against him. My mind flutters to the hallway at the Halloween ball. The memory causes a flare of heat through my body. Every inch of myself that is pressed against him is begging for friction. His slow, tender kisses are in time with the way he is rocking me against his thigh. But just as that familiar tension builds in my belly, the car comes to a stop.
Ding!
The doors slide open and I feel like I’m walking on air as he leads me by the hand to his hotel room. Wow this room is a bit of an upgrade from mine.
“Please no big light!” I plead just as he reaches for the light switch.
“As you wish.” He laughs. Taking a page from my book, he flips on the bathroom light and cracks the door. I wander over to turn on a lamp in the sitting area. Tossing his suit coat onto a chair, he closes the distance between us and clasps my face in his hands.
I can hear my heart beating as he stares, taking in my bare face. My heart flutters and the corners of my lips turn up. How did we get here? It feels so right to be sharing myself with him finally.
“Hi.” I say with a smile.
“Hi” he smiles back, placing a light kiss on my lips. Taking my hand, he leads me to stand in front of large mirrored closet doors. The way he towers over me sends a bolt of arousal through my core.
Reverently, he strips me of my dress. Left in my lingerie, he sits on the bed, legs splayed. Patting his lap, he then begins to undo the buttons on his dress shirt. Nestled between his legs, I am mesmerized by our reflection in the mirror. Myself in my heels and lacey underwear and him full dressed, mask and all. I decide to put on another show for him. I cup my breasts through the fabric and tease myself. His eyes watch my every move even as his shirt falls open and is thrown to the floor. I remove my shoes and then struggle to reach around him to remove my bra.
“A little help?” A pause and then his hands make quick work of the clasp, my bra falling free to join his shirt.
Feeling bold I stand, moving to kneel in front of him. Undoing the laces of his shoes, I slip them off. The fabric of his pants is a little scratchy as I run my hands up his legs. Working together we remove those until all that remains is his mask. Standing, I hook the sides of my thong with my thumbs, and make a show of removing them. I settle onto his lap, straddling him. Reaching up, I pause as I grasp the tie for his mask. Our gazes catch and hold with an intensity that tightens my chest. The nod he gives me is almost imperceivable. But it’s there. Taking a deep breath, I pull the ribbon, discarding the last thing that lies between us.
Nothing surprises me as I look upon his face. I’ve never seen it before, but it feels like remembering something I once knew. Like Another piece of a puzzle falling into place.
I cradle his face in my hands and place a kiss on his forehead. His eyes flutter shut. I place another on his nose, and then his lips. The hand on my neck drags me back down. Our mouths clash together in a kiss full of need. His hands slide down to my ass, pulling me flush against him. He swallows my moan at the feel of him hard against me. In a feat of strength, he slides us back on the bed. Pulling me down on top of him as he falls back on his elbows. My body feels like it’s on fire and he is the only salvation. Reaching down I grip his hardness and waste no time lining him up with my entrance. His hand wraps around my wrist, halting my movement.
“While I cannot wait to be inside you again, I’m afraid I need you to sit on my face.”
“What?”
“Yes you see I’ve always had a mask in the way and now I simply cannot pass on the opportunity.” I’m still somewhat stunned in my lustful haze as his arms hook under my legs and slide me forward. I yelp and throw my arms out, catching myself on the bed. His hands wrap up around my thighs, pulling me down onto him as his tongue swipes against me. At that I am lost. He devours me so slowly that I’m trembling by the time his tongue finally delves inside of me. My moan comes out like a sob. Reaching under me, I tangle my hand in his hair, gripping for leverage as I rock against him. As mind blowing as he’s making me feel, there’s a frustration building inside of me. A want for more. So that is what I ask for.
“More. Ves please! More!” My prayers are immediately answered.
Maneuvering me like I’m light as a feather he slides me down his body. He’s propped up on his elbows. Face to face with his cock is pressing into me, teasing. Seizing the opportunity, I rock down against him, taking him until I am fully seated. Our moans mingle in the limited space between our lips. I grab the back of his neck and his chest for purchase as I begin to move. His hands on my hips flex and squeeze before assisting me with my movement. But my slow and steady rocking builds into a greedy pace. With every thrust, he’s striking a spot inside of me that has me chasing bliss. Though it seems as if we’ve just gotten started, I’m racing closer to the edge. I slip my hand between us, giving myself the additional stimulation I so desperately need. His hand slides into my hair, tilting my head until I’m staring into his eyes. The frenzied pleasure is making my head swim and this added eye contact amplifies those feelings. My thighs tremble around his and my pace falters. The tightness built inside of me starts to slip and as if he senses it, he takes control.
Shifting his body, he turns us at an angle. The hand in my hair turns my head to face the mirror that’s now alongside us.
Where I now watch his hips lift, sliding himself inside of me. God if that image doesn’t make me weak. I practically collapse on top of him and he is more than willing to support me. His arm hooks under my knee, lifting the leg closest to the mirror, hitting a new spot inside of me as he thrusts inside me. It takes everything in me to stay upright as I quiver from the pleasure. My moans are outside of my control.
“Fuck this is my favorite song. I could hear you sing it all day.” The grit in his voice winds me tighter.
“Ves!” His lips are quick to whisper a different name in my ear. So I oblige, crying out his true name instead.
My head swims with dizzying pleasure as I come down from my climax. His pace picks up and it’s too much. My body is torn between begging for mercy and begging for more. But his hips thrust once, twice, and then a third time as he shudders his release. Even with my head still dizzy from the pleasure, I can feel that something new has just begun.
Part 3, the final conclusion, to my Sleep Token fanfic is in the works. I had hoped to have it out in time for New Year's Day but life had other plans. I am taking my time with it, learning new things about my writing process. But I'd love for it to be out by the end of this month. And then it's time for me to work on the book I'd like to write!
Respectfully, you may not use my work, but you are welcome to share it. My work is only intended for those 18 and older as it contains explicit adult themes.
Summary: This is a little bonus scene that takes place after the Halloween masquerade from part 2. These all work as standalones.
Pairing: Vessel x Fem!Reader
Tags: Mirror play, mask play, concealed identity, a marble counter that is magically comfortable to sit on, don't question it, magical paint that won't throw off your Ph.
Word Count: 1.3k
A/N: No edits. I wrote this in one shot. I aim to have the third and final part out in time for New Year's Eve.
Part 1 Part 2
Read on Ao3
The car ride back was pure torture. Despite somewhat behaving on our driver’s behalf, we did not take our hands or our gazes off each other. We were quite a sight in the lobby. Elaborate spooky costumes. Makeup shot to hell. He was dragging me into the bathroom the second I unlocked my hotel room door.
“I have waited for this moment for a while.” His looming figure is a menace with that mask behind me in the large vanity mirror.
“For what?” He places a few gentle kisses along my bare shoulder,as his hands come to the zipper of my dress. “Oh.”
“I suppose we haven’t actually seen each other without clothes yet. You didn’t have to wait this long.” I smirk.
“What was I supposed to do? Strip you bare in the middle of the garden? Where anyone might see?”
“You said no one would find us!”
“I did, didn't I?” He grins and unzips my dress, removing one shoulder at a time. Baring myself to him. Fully. Every little thing on full display under the glaring bathroom lights. As my gown falls to the floor, the mess of paint beneath my mask contrasts the expanse of my skin. His hands run along my body, pausing to grab my hips, sending shudders through me. He steps back. I watch his reflection stare down at me with that awful mask. He slowly removes his vest and then his shirt. Then just the button of his pants, the only garment remaining on his frame.
What a pair we make. In our silly little masks, holding on to that last layer of vulnerability.
I watch the reflection as he comes up behind me and his large hands roam my body. Teasing me until I am arching back against him. The image of us sends my blood racing. He tips me forward and I brace my arms on the counter. I feel him tease my entrance and before I can voice my impatience, he is filling me once more. My moans vibrate through the large bathroom. His hips still.
“My dear, let’s not wake the neighbors.”
“Oh so now you want me to be quiet?” His chuckle rumbles through the space and through me.
“No but my desire for us to not be interrupted is greater.” I give a slight nod, accepting the challenge.
And what a challenge it is, because the second he thrusts into me, I have to fight to silence the gasp falling from my lips. Despite the pleasure washing through my body, I think I’m doing a pretty great job or turning my moans into quieter breathy sounds. But perhaps not as great as I thought as his hand is suddenly covering my mouth. The sight of us sends jolts of excitement straight to my core. Watching the way his body moves against mine, holding me in his grip. God, it has me clenching around him. Hitting spots deep inside me. The way he stops moving altogether, tells me I must have gotten carried away.
“Darling, that was not an invitation to be louder.” I whimper against his hand as he withdraws from me. He runs a hand up my chest, grasping my painted throat.
“Does the sight of me having my way with you excite you that much?” I do my best to nod in his hold.
“Hmm… Well enough of that for now.” Turning me towards him, and away from the mirror, he backs me against the counter, lifting me onto it. I ache at the sight of him. His taught body contrasted against the black paint, low hanging pants, and that horrid mask. He leans over me and I fall back on my elbows, my upper back pressed against the mirror. The bite of the cold marble does nothing to quell the heat coursing through my veins. He is just staring down at me, not moving. I follow his gaze to the mess of black paint between my thighs. Heat rushes to my cheeks as I am transported back to the garden. I stare up at him, into the red void he is wearing.
“Your mask is still really fucking creepy you know” He leans into me, his arms caging me in.
“Oh I know” Vessel spits into his palm, coating himself before sliding back inside of me. One of his hands quickly finds my mouth to mask the whimpers spilling out of it. His pounding pace slows and his free hand begins to circle my clit. Testing different strokes and watching my body’s response. My toes curl as he finds his pattern. Bringing me to the edge of release in record time. I reach for him, clinging to his arms, the feel of his skin under mine is foreign but electric. My body goes taught as my release whips through me in stuttering waves. His mouth captures mine in a kiss, swallowing my sounds. Tears spring in my eyes in my fight to stay quiet. All of that effort goes out the window when he picks up his pace. My overstimulated body fighting to scramble away from the sensations while simultaneously wanting more. My nails bite into him, as I ride these near frantic waves of stimulation. With a groan he pulls out, spilling himself up my stomach. Painting my chest. I smirk in surprise as I feel a hot splash against the side of my mouth and cheek. Still twitching a bit from my own orgasm, I steady my breathing as I wait for him to speak. But he is just staring down at me, his chest heaving as he steadies his own breath.
“Do you want to take a picture? It’ll last longer… I mean that genuinely.” I can’t see his eyes but I see the way the rest of his body lights up at my suggestion.
“I don’t have my phone with me.” He says in defeat.
“What a shame… good thing mine is on the floor in my dress.” Pushing away from the counter, he searches through the fabric, eventually freeing my phone. His hands seem to tremble a little as he goes to operate the camera. Is he nervous about this? I hold my hand out, he passes me the device and visibly relaxes. It takes me a second to find the best angles, but I snap a few photos capturing the evidence of our enjoyment this evening. Ves has tissues waiting for me as soon as I set down the phone.
In the aftermath, a strange feeling creeps through me that we are standing mostly naked in a hotel bathroom, smeared with paint, and wearing masks. But an even stranger feeling takes its place at the thought of removing those masks. Right here. Right now… not yet.
Standing on my tip toes, I reach my arms around his neck. He pulls me into a deep kiss.
“Thank you for tonight.” I murmur against his lips. Knowing that he will understand, that for me, the night ends here. The way he wraps me in a tight hug confirms that knowing.
“It is I who should be thanking you. As always. Rest well.” For a moment, I lay my head against his chest and let myself be held in his arms. But the moment passes. Stepping away, I go to start the shower, before turning back to him.
“Sleep well Ves.” I smile at him.
“I’m going to need it to think of our next adventure.” He says as he gathers his fallen clothing.
“Can’t wait. Maybe less running next time though.”
“Less running. I’ll make note of that.” A light laugh escapes me as he smirks from across the small space. And with one last exchange of ‘goodnights’ he turns and leaves. Whatever this is… it is getting dangerously close to something more than it was.
That Which I Cannot See - Part 2 - Diamonds in the Trees
Respectfully, you may not use my work, but you are welcome to share it. My work is only intended for those 18 and older as it contains explicit adult themes.
Summary: In this part of our story, Vessel invites you to a Halloween masquerade ball for a little game of cat and mouse.
Pairing: Vessel x Fem!Reader
Tags: Hand stuff , mask play, concealed identity play, exhibitionism (sorta), sex in public spaces (privately), dub con, magical paint that won't throw off your Ph, dirty talk, and a bit of cardio.
Word Count: 5.6k(felt like way more but okay???)
A/N: I took my time with this one and had fun exploring new things. I didn't get to finish all of my ideas, so look for a bonus scene before part 3 comes out by end of year.
Part 1 Part 2.5 (Bonus Scene)
Read on Ao3
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Warm water ran black as I washed my hands of the paint that now marked my neck. A near perfect recreation of Vessel’s work from that first night together. I was going for a goth macabre angel vibe. The mask I would be wearing would not be obscuring my vision this time, with cutouts to show off the smoky eye I had spent the past half hour perfecting. Strategically painted gold drips down my cheeks, running from my eyes. The perfect compliment to my gown.
Golden layers of fabric lay like feathers at the sleeves. Gold detailing trails down from the sweetheart neckline through the black cinched waist, layering into more feathering along the hips. My favorite part was the hidden pockets. I hated having to carry a purse with me and I didn’t want to be without my phone and lipstick. Layers and layers of panels of black tulle comprised the skirt. The separate panels would allow for infinite thigh slits, unrestricted movement, and access should the night take me there. A few taps on my phone and I was Facetiming Kallie to get her seal of approval while I started working on my hair.
“Holy shit you look hot and spooky! Backup so I can see the dress.” Following her instructions, I give my skirts a little swish to and fro.
“Thank you, thank you, I worked really hard to put this together and I am so proud. But I gotta finish my up-do.” Approaching the counter, I get to work on just that.
“I am honored to see your vision come to life. He’s gonna die when he sees you. Speaking of, how is he?” The look of nonchalance on my face sets her off before I can even respond.
“What’s going on? Like what’s up with you two?“You’ve been talking for weeks and he flies you across the pond for some fancy ass party, just so you guys can what? Casually go to the royal Halloween ball together? Is that really what you’re gonna sit here and tell me?” I wince but my lips quirk up at her teasing.
“Yeah, Kallie it is. What else would you like me to say? Why’s it gotta be more than that? I’m not trying to uproot my life. I like how things are... Why can’t it just be fun? It doesn’t have to be so serious.” I continue to wrangle my hair into some sort of abstract shape atop my head.
“You’re so right you’re soooo right. It’s so casual being flown overseas and casually put up in a whole ass suite with a very casual private driver.”
“Say casual one more time…”
“Casual.” Rolling my eyes, I stifle my laugh, and continue jabbing pins into my mess of curls.
“One step at a time please. I just want to enjoy what I’ve got while I’ve got it. Live in the moment, you know?” Satisfied that my hair is contained, I dust gold powder over my body.
Her tone softens. “I just don’t want you settling for less than what you truly want. Dream a little. Have a little hope for the things you’re scared to want.” I slide a headband halo of gold spikes into place in front of my messy updo.
“Yeah yeah I know… But not tonight!” Fitting my mask to my face, I grin at my reflection. The mask covers from the tops of my cheeks, up to my hairline. Intricate feathering spans at my temples, and the gold dripping from underneath is exactly the look I wanted.
“Soooo, how do I look?” Letting the gold gleam in the bathroom light as I show off for my best friend.
“Ooooo yes you look so fucking perfect! Take lots of pictures!! When is he picking you up?”
“Well, he did offer to pick me up and ride together but then he also suggested we could arrive separately and ‘see what fate has in store for us this evening’.. Ya know? Make a little game out of it.” My hands gesture dramatically as I impersonate his voice.
“You’re a little too good at that impression ya know. Ooo so he has to hunt you down! Does he know what you’re wearing???”
“Nope and I don’t know what he’s wearing either. We have to see if we can find each other. Oh shit what happens if we don’t? I didn’t think about it like that. How many people do you think will be there?” A tight feeling blossoms in my chest.
“Heyyy don’t psych yourself out. Trust the universe girl. There could be a million people there and I bet he’d find you.”
“Please don’t say something cheesy and cliche.” Cutting her off, I paint my lips a liquid gold.
“FINE. I won’t. But if it were me, you’d tell me that even if you never see him, you’re going to an amazing once in a lifetime event full of opportunity and your experience doesn’t need to rely on another person… You look stunning. Go have fun, don’t wait around. Do the things you want to do. Be safe, be slutty, and text me when you get back.” Laughing, I give myself a final look over in the mirror, blow her a kiss, and end the call.
Off I go to play with fate.
The ride there was surprisingly relaxing. Kallie was right. I just need to focus on myself and have fun no matter what. The tightness in my chest loosens briefly but takes a new shape as a masked valet helps me out of the car. People in all sorts of costumes stream from cars and into the estate looming before me. Shrugging on a false confidence, I follow suit.
Sipping my drink, I stroll the ornate rooms, taking in the sights of costumes both spooky and spicy. There are so many people. I don’t think I was fully aware of how much we were putting in fate’s hands. With this amount of guests, there was a very good chance the whole night could pass without us so much as being within 50 ft of one another. But oh well. This is about enjoying myself no matter what. I’ve been wandering for half an hour without the faintest idea of what his costume is. Music wafts from a not so distant room, and I follow it like a siren call. Weaving through the crowd, I make my way to the dance floor of a beautiful ballroom. Elegant dresses whirl past me. Someone taps my shoulder. A man with a harlequin type costume, bows slightly and extends a hand. He’s tall, but I don’t think he’s tall enough. Could it be? But the hand he offers me is not the one I had become so familiar with. Still, I take it and let him sweep me along to the resonating strings.
Consumed by the swirling colors and beautiful music, I’ve lost track of time. This must be my third partner. The music stops. My partner bows before me, stepping back. Sensation sweeps along my bare back, causing my skin to prickle and my neck to heat. Looking over my shoulder, I scan the masked faces, searching. Music starts anew and the beating of my heart intensifies. The music begins again but with a fresh intensity. Once again, I am twirling across the dance floor. My partner spins me out and another grabs my outstretched hand, twirling me into a suit of peacock blues and greens. He leads me in this new waltz. Just as I am getting comfortable with his flow, I’m spun out and into the hand of another. Each passing partner is a stranger. This pattern repeats as I lose myself in the music.
A jolt shoots up my arm as I’m handed off to another. My eyes dart to the black painted hand holding mine. A flitting feeling awakens inside my chest. Dressed in black accented by the darkest red, this partner is a menacing sight to behold. Mostly because his mask is as unsettling as it is striking. The intricate blood red weavings that comprise it are hauntingly beautiful. The top shoots upwards into a cathedral crown. A black hood streams down, covering the rest of his head. The unsettling part is how not only are the eyes completely obscured, but two black skeleton hands rest atop where the eyes should be. In his signature style, the only part exposed is his mouth. He gives my hand a gentle squeeze and a smile spreads across my lips. White teeth flash in a monstrous grin against his painted skin. A shiver runs down my spine. He looks so inhuman with this facade. But his touch is familiar and grounding. The beat of my heart picks up as I acclimate, to my hand held in his, and to his hand resting low on my back, lower than others dared to go. Lower than would be considered polite. His touch, yet again, an intimate gesture for all to see.
He pulls me into focus, everything around us fading into the background. The distance between us has me aching for his full touch. Memories of our last night together flitter through my mind and heat rushes through me. He flashes me a wicked grin, as if he knows… and perhaps he does. He twirls me out and I am whisked away by another, and someone new is in his arms.
A couple of partners later, the song comes to an end. I nod my thanks to the gentleman in front of me, and make my way to the refreshments, assuming Ves is on his way to me. But maybe he isn’t because now I’m stuck in the crowd, sipping my drink, and I can’t catch sight of him. I notice the orchestra packing up their instruments. How odd. Is the music really over so early in the night? What time is it? Before I can reach for my phone, that strange sensation prickles the back of my neck again. Turning my head, I see no trace of the red skeleton crown. Fingers skate across the bare skin of my upper back. I whip around, but he’s not there. Instinct guides me forward, making my way into the hall. Blood red coattails flutter around a corner. I hastily follow suit.
Surprisingly the crowd has thinned. I skim the costumes, none are familiar. Turning down a corridor, my stomach tumbles at the sight of his mask staring at me. Cautiously, I make my way to him.
Taking my hand in his, he lifts it to his mouth, placing a kiss along my knuckles. The faintest bit of gold gleams on his lips.
“Thank you for accompanying me this evening.” His voice is a breath of fresh air.
“Thank you for bringing me. I’ve never been to a Halloween masquerade before. Especially not at a fancy estate.” Succumbing to the urge, I allow my fingers to trace the lines of his vest.
“I think I rather enjoy giving you new experiences” His purr rumbles through my fingertips.
“As do I... I hope there will be more. The costumes here are all so fantastic.”
“Ah so I’m fantastic now?”
“Ha. Ha. Yours is more than fantastic but honestly it’s also a little scary.”
“And is that not what you wanted?” He smirks.
“I did say that didn’t I…” I think back to that night in the dressing room.
Do you want to be scared of me? Maybe a little. …maybe a lot
“I’m not used to seeing you look like this. It’s unsettling. You look like a stranger. A very ominous imposing stranger and that’s what is scary about it. But I’m into it because it’s you.”
“What about me makes it okay?” Placing an arm against the wall, he leans into me. The familiarity of his voice contrasts with the frightening facade.
“I trust you. I feel safe with you.” And it’s true. I trust him with exploring things that are unfamiliar and out of my comfort zone. I trust him enough to feel safe even when I’m afraid and that excites me.
“Well trust that we are going to have fun tonight.” Suggestion rides on the lilt of his voice.
“I’m already having fun.” I tease, dancing my fingers along his shirt. A painted hand trails up my arm, tracing the blackened streaks running down my neck. Shivers ripple in his wake and I instinctively shift closer. My gaze is locked on his smirk. Desire curls inside of me as I remember the way his mouth felt against my neck.
“I still think about our first night together.” As if he read my mind. His wandering hand finds its way down to my hip, as he leans in closer. “What did I tell you? How I would remember the way you felt wrapped around my fingers.” His hand slides down from my hip, gripping the back of my thigh as he turns me. Pressing my back against the wall, with his thigh between my legs. “Because I have.”
“Do you remember the feel of me?” He asks, and the way his thigh moves against me has me shuddering. I nod and try to shift my hips, but he holds firm, not allowing an inch. I can feel myself pulsing against his thigh.
“I want to hear you say it.” Of course he does.
“Yes” It comes out as a plea, one he obliges with the shift of his leg. The friction sends sparks shooting through me.
“And what do you remember?” My thoughts are lost in the haze of lust.
“What?” He leans right into my ear, voice rumbling.
“How did I feel?” My eyes widen at his words. I feel my face warm.
“Ves, we’re at a party.” I hiss. Although that very fact fuels the flames more.
“And we’re enjoying ourselves. Don’t worry love, nobody is paying us any mind. All of these people are too worried about themselves. They might assume we are having an intimate conversation. And that is what we are having… is it not?” I nod and he shifts his leg against me in reward.
“As I was saying… Now do you still want more of me?” Clinging to him, I bob my head in affirmation.
“Maybe I’ll steal you away to someplace dark where no one will hear you scream.” I let out a shaky breath, as heat rushes through me. His head turns, our lips mere inches apart, sending my heart racing. Suddenly, a deep thrumming rattles through the hall. Both of us tilt our heads.
“What is that?” I ask. His grip on me loosens as he leans back.
“Why don’t you go find out?”
“Are you not coming with me?” That creepy mask tilts along with his head. I feel his reasoning press against me before he pulls fully away from me.
“You run along ahead, I’ll find you later.” I straighten out my skirts, not ready for the fun to be over just yet.
“What if you don’t?” He shakes his head and his lips quirk up.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Exhaling my nervous breath, I give a slight smile and turn on my heel, hastily moving towards the source of the beat.
The ballroom has transformed since I was spinning under the golden chandeliers. Red and purple lighting fills the space with a spooky touch. A costumed DJ sits upon a small stage, laser lights flickering out around the setup. I slink my way through the pulsing crowd, finding comfortable spaces to stop and lose myself in the throbbing mass. I let the beat pulse through me as I roll my body with a rhythm that is my own. No worrying about how I look, just focusing on what feels good. Most everyone seems caught in their own trance. For a second, I miss Vessel. I imagine what it would be like to dance with him like this. Feel his hands on me, something I seem to be longing for tonight. I can almost feel his phantom touch, my body writhing into it. And then I let go of that thought and continue weaving through the crowd, finding the perfect spot.
The beat drops and my attention snags on the woman in front of me dressed as a silver princess. She takes notice as well and our movements begin to sync, bringing us closer. I’m vaguely aware of the masked prince dancing behind her, watching us intently. A coy smile splays across her mouth as she closes the gap between us, things taking a more sensual turn. Like how my gaze flickers over her soft curves and lingers on her lips. Like the way the fabric of our gowns brush against each other, the space between us is ever shrinking. Her fingertips dance along my arm, I tentatively mirror her movements. The prince’s arm comes around her waist, pulling her back a bit, and I follow, leaning in to her. Our gaze darting between each other’s lips. Her eyelids flutter and a large hand wraps firmly around my throat. Another gripping my hip, pulling me back against a firm body. That familiar voice is in my ear “I don’t feel like sharing tonight, perhaps another time” His tone is playful but carries that now familiar edge of darkness.
His painted hand slides down my arm, grasping my hand in his. Bringing our joined hands to rest on my stomach, he pulls me flush against him. This wasn’t anything like dancing in college, with random dudes grinding themselves against you without so much as an acknowledging glance. I welcome the way his body holds mine as I move freely to the music. His hips move with me, matching my rhythm. The brief friction from the evidence of his arousal sends ripples of excitement through me. I let my head fall back against his chest and my free hand slides to his thigh. My grip tightens as I drag my hand up and down his leg. I feel the rumble of warning in his chest. But I’m having fun with this. I am fully signed up and on board for what I’m getting myself into. Slowly, I move our joined hands lower on my stomach, down, down, until my fingers dance over the apex of my thighs. His hand spasms over mine, as if to stop me, and for a second I wonder if he will. But then he gives my hand a firm nudge. My hand moves under his, providing just a taste of what I crave. No one can see, not that anyone is looking. Everyone is so engrossed in their own experience. Acting like we are alone in a sea of hundreds is thrilling. I can feel him grind against me and it makes me ache for more. There’s no way that touching myself through my dress is going to do much other than get me hot and bothered. He knows it too. My grip on his thigh flexes with the little waves of pleasure I manage to elicit. His left hand grips my hip harder. Each press of our bodies makes me ache to have him inside of me. His hold on my hip tightens to a painful degree. Holding me so still I can no longer dance. He lifts my hand and drags me from the ballroom.
Mindlessly, I let him lead me through hallways, the crowd thins out, and then we are outside on a spacious balcony. The cool air soothes my heated skin, as I look out at the gardens. His thumb brushes over my knuckles.
“Shall we continue our fun?” My head tilts in response.
“Let’s explore the maze. I bet I can find that dark place to drag you to where no one will hear you scream. Give me a bit of a head start.” My brows shoot up.
“You want me to come find you? Like hide and seek?”
“Oh you won’t need to find me. I’ll find you. And when I do, you might want to run.”
My brow furrows. Spooky costume or not, does he really expect me to run from him? Wouldn’t that be a little thrilling though? I wonder to myself and before I know it, he’s slipped down the stairs and sauntering off into the dark maze. I use these few minutes to study what I can of the maze’s layout. As if it will help me when I’m turned around inside.
Guided by a moonlit path, It’s a bit eerie how there’s no one around. I thought at least some people would be out here but aside from the few stragglers making out on benches near the entrance, I find myself alone. I’ve been wandering for a bit of time now. Oh god, what if I get lost? And I’m stuck out here for who knows how long? A prickle of awareness brings a rustling sound into sharp focus. Whipping around, there’s no one to be seen on the path. I must be getting jumpy being alone out here. I continue around the bend, pretty sure that somewhere up ahead there is an entrance to a hidden garden I had spied from the balcony. Despite my efforts, another rustling sound has goosebumps running along my arms. There’s an archway up ahead on the right, leading away from my destination. As I grow near I swear I see a glimpse of something in the shadowy alcove. My steps falter, tension gathers in the pit of my stomach. Okay maybe this is scarier than I gave him credit for. Steeling my nerves, I walk up to the archway. To my relief, the shadow was a fountain. Laughing, I stop to listen to its babbling stream. I register movement from out of the shadows and in that instant, fear reawakens, and I take off. Gathering my skirts, I run down the straight away, tiny branches clawing at the fabric of my skirt as I round the corner. I hear the growl of my name, a voice that's familiar but so foreign. Uncertainty grips my chest and propels me forward.
There’s an archway coming up on the left. If my memory serves correct, this opens into one of the small gardens within the maze. That would give me a shot at losing the danger at my heels. My lungs are screaming for air as I round the bend, relief is brief as I am correct about the garden. I dart into one of the alcoves, pressing my back against a stone column. As I work to steady my breathing, I gather my skirts to stay out of view. With my back to the garden, all I can see is the sculpture and bench in this alcove. Over the roaring in my ears, I hear the crunch of gravel working its way around the space. My breathing begins to settle, and the crunching grows faint… then silent. I wait for what feels like an eternity, before peeking out around the column. All I see is the fountain in the middle and more alcoves lining the perimeter. There are two entrances from the maze. I figure my best bet is to go back the way I came and try and find my way out of this place. My heart is still beating faster than usual. I take a deep breath to steady myself and head towards the exit. Just as I am about to walk through the opening, strong arms grab me, pulling me back against a firm body.
The scream I let out is instantly muffled by a large hand. I’m spun around and sent forward, back towards my hiding place. Squirming against the restraint, I try to move my arms but they are locked firmly in place by the arm wrapped around my waist. My wrists twist, swiping my claw like nails at anything I can grab. My captor pushes me with them, taking us into the alcove. Before the panic sets in, I am released. I stumble forward and whirl around, my hands instinctively coming up in defense.
But I recognize that terrifying mask and towering physique. Fear dissolves, the embers of my desire stir awake in a consuming blaze. Anger joins the mix, my fists clench. I raise a hand, and just as I open my mouth to say whatever the hell it was that I was going to say, he crashes into me. His hand cradles the back of my head, the other pulls me flush against him as his mouth clashes with mine. It's messy and out of sync, but after a few beats my anger ebbs and liquid heat takes its place. His lips slow against mine, in an almost apologetic way. But I don’t need apologies for a game I’m delighting in. I grip the front of his vest, pulling our bodies impossibly closer. His teeth nip at my lower lip, my answering gasp grants his tongue entrance. Our tangled kiss deepens and my hold on him tightens in a silent plea.
He steps into me, guiding me back until I feel the rough stone of the column against my skin once again. His hands push through tulle until I feel his warm touch against my thighs. Flinging the material to the side, he wastes no time, sliding a finger through my arousal and into my waiting heat. I moan into his mouth as he strokes me in a firm caress. His mouth pulls away, but only an inch. Little whimpers from my lips ghost across his own. He starts to slide a second finger inside of me and as I choke back a moan, he stops.
“I think you know better than that” He growls. I nod in agreement and make no attempts to diminish the sounds I make as he adds a second finger.
“I told you I would take you where no one could hear you scream. I also told you that I am not in the mood to share. No one’s coming.” I wasn’t sure if that was a promise or a threat.
I couldn’t help the way my thighs clenched around his hand, nor the sounds of his slick fingers. I’m not sure what I did to deserve him stopping suddenly, but the air left my lungs as he removed his hand from inside me and brought it to his mouth. Seemingly savoring the taste of me. Next thing I know, he’s setting me down on the bench.
“Move those pretty skirts for me.” I hastily do as he says as he kneels before me. An eerie thrill shoots through me as I now stare at his mask. I think he’s staring between my legs but I can’t tell with those macabre skeleton hands so close to such an intimate part of me. His hand coasts below my knee, lifting my leg onto the bench, baring me completely. Thankful for the wooden slats behind me, I lean back, bracing myself as I feel his tongue’s first languid lap. The most elegant torture, to have him take his time devouring me, while I burn to be filled completely by him. When his fingers entered me once again, my back arched and I almost screamed at the satisfaction. But he and I both know it’s not enough. I’m too eager for more to allow myself to find release like this. Mustering what little self control I have at the moment, I push at his shoulder with my heeled foot. Reluctantly, he rocks back, his head tilting at an inquisitive angle. For a moment, I’m so distracted by the smear gold, black, and revealed skin around his mouth that I almost forget what I was going to request.
“Switch places with me.” Despite the mask, I swear his eyebrows shot up, and he oblidges. Offering a hand, painted black save for two fingers, my cheeks heat at the sight. He pulls me to my feet, my legs a little wobbly, but he ensures I’m steady before taking a seat. Now it’s my turn to kneel before him, grateful for my thick skirts and the smooth stone under us. My hands are quick to undo his pants, but he assists, pulling himself from the confines of his pants. My mouth falls open at the sight of his impressive and potentially intimidating length. God, I’m so impatient I almost jump him right there, but I will myself to slow down, to savor the feel of him as I take him in my hand, as I run my tongue up his length. Air hisses from between his teeth as I lick teasing stripes. I take him into my mouth. Hollowing my cheeks, I gently bob my head. Working to accommodate him into my too small mouth, saliva runs down to where I begin to work him with my hand. His heavy breathes and soft rumbling moans stroke my ego but are wearing my selfish patience thin. I’m delighted to return the favor, but I’m eager for what comes next. And it seems I’m not alone in that, as I feel his grip on my shoulder, pulling my mouth off of him with a wet pop.
His mouth looks like he’s trying to find the words to speak, as I rise from the ground, holding my skirts out of the way, and climb into his lap, his hands coming to steady my hips. Without pause, I reach down and guide him to my slick entrance. I brace a hand on his shoulder as I sink down, enveloping him. A sound between a moan and a sob leaves my lips when he hits a spot deep inside me.
“Fuck, you feel better than I ever could have imagined” He grinds out.
“So do you” I pant as I seat myself, twitches of pleasure jolt through me. As I acclimate, I search the skeleton hands for any sign of him. But I’m met with nothing but the frightening facade. In this moment, I wish I could see his eyes… ease biting thrill of the unknown. His thumbs stroke my hips, bringing me back to where we are connected. Shifting my focus to his mouth, I can’t help but smile at how ruined he looks. With his pale skin revealed under the smears of black and gold paint. Lord, I can only imagine what my own looks like. How anyone would know what we got up to with just one look at us. That thought sends a shiver through me. I rock my hips and start to move. I clutch at his shoulders as the stretch of him begins to consume me. My eyes flutter as I ride him. Playing with different angles, creating a rhythm that has me clamping down on him. Our moans dance in the air between us as we are lost in the feel of each other at last. His grip tightens until he is aiding in my rhythm, lifting and pulling at my hips. The push and drag of him inside of me drives me higher, my pace becoming more deliberate. I reach my hand down, fingers seeking out the spot to send me over the edge. Pleasure blinds me, hindering my necessary pace. As I falter, he takes over, gripping my hips as he lifts me up and down. Parts of my body are limp, the others taught as I spin closer and closer. And then I’m sobbing into his chest as fall over the edge. I collapse onto him as I shake and shiver around him. The subsiding shockwaves are both pleasurable and exhausting.
“Take a moment, because I am not done with you yet” It sounds like a threat and a promise and instantly my body clenches around where he is still hard inside me. He laughs. “Do you think you can stand?”
“Probably but why would I?” I wiggle my hips with a sigh. Gripping me, he rolls my hips once, twice, then pulls me off of him. I pout. He points at the sculpture in the alcove. I take a shaky step towards it, and he rises behind me. I begin to turn towards him, but he pulls my hips, bending me over. My hands fly out, catching myself on the ledge, and he nudges my feet apart.
“Sadly, there is not enough time left to this night to satiate my desires.” He parts my skirt and wastes no time sliding into the hilt.
“Now that I’ve had all of you, how could this ever be enough?” Each word punctuated with a thrust of his hips. My knees go weak from the pleasure and I tighten my hold on the statue as he picks up speed. Tears spring into my eyes at the onslaught of sensations. There is no space for words between the cries from my lips. I am at his mercy. One of his hands creeps between my legs, but if I have another orgasm here I think he would need to carry me from this garden. I drag his hand up to my chest instead and he works his hand beneath the fabric, teasing me with those skilled fingers. My legs tremble as I near my limit. My cries turn to borderline sobs. He slows for a few seconds and then sets a punishing pace.
“Make no mistake. I am not done with you yet.” He growls. As his grip tightens, his thrusting becomes erratic. Just as my legs begin to buckle, he pulls out, spilling himself into the bushes.
“Well… the night is still young.” I try to keep my voice even despite my labored breath. “Why don’t we go back to that lovely hotel you got me?”
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~Bonus chapter can be found here~
That Which I Cannot See - Part 1 - Pure Imagination
Respectfully, you may not use my work, but you are welcome to share it. My work is only intended for those 18 and older as it contains explicit adult themes.
Summary: Basically A Star is Born but make it Sleep Token. A video of you singing Take Me Back to Eden gets attention online and you're invited to sing backup vocals at their next concert. Only, you end up doing a lot more than just that. The first in what will be at least a 3 part series.
Pairing: Vessel x Fem!Reader
Tags: Hand stuff (for now), mask play, concealed identity play, obscured vision/partial blindfolding, is this a musical now?, shower play with the lights off, monster kink? if you squint?, spiritual cult leader Vessel, dirty talk.
Word Count: 5.4k
A/N: I enjoy candlelit showers while blasting Sleep Token and inspiration struck one day while listening to Take Me Back to Eden. What if? So I wrote it. I have already planned out a part 2 & 3, so fear not, our journey has just begun.
Read on Ao3
Part 2 Part 2.5 (Bonus Scene) Part 3 (coming soon)
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So there I was, doom scrolling Instagram when *ping*
“Sleep_Token: We loved your video” My brows furrow. That can’t actually be their official account. Tapping the notification, I switch to my finsta, where I post anonymous videos of myself singing. I recently shared a clip of an acoustic cover of Take Me Back to Eden that got a decent amount of attention, but I didn’t think it got that much attention. The message thread opens just as another is coming in.
“Sleep_Token: How would you feel about joining us sometime?” What the hell?
I click their profile. Blue check mark. Holy shit. Shock has me so caught up I can’t even think of a clever response. Or any response for that matter.
What does ‘joining us' mean? Like for an orgy or going to a show? Because I’m down for both, but I only have tickets for one of those things. At least my brain is still cracking jokes. I stare at my phone and figure out something to say.
“Hi! Thanks! I actually will be at the show this Friday. I can’t wait :)” My heart does a little somersault as I hit send.
“Sleep_Token: Perfect. Our manager will reach out for details. Bring something black to wear. We’ve got the rest covered!”
What the fuck does that mean? Reaching out for details for what? What is ‘the rest’ and how is it ‘covered’???
*ping*
The DM from the manager comes in.
On auto-pilot, I go back and forth with the manager. Realization sets in… I’m going to be backstage at the Sleep Token show. I’m going to meet the Espera and sing with them. On stage. At the Sleep Token show. Friday. In less than a week. What the fuck.
Four days… I have four days to perfect my outfit. Immediately, I FaceTime my best friend. She answers on the second ring.
“Callie… you’re never gonna believe this.”
“Alright??… spill bitch”
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My stride lengthens to keep up with the woman leading me through bright lit hallways. The week had flown by in a blur. Now it’s Friday and I’m being led backstage in sweats and a tank. I hadn’t fully wrapped my head around their invitation. But what I really hadn’t wrapped my head around was what had been developing since that night. Once I had gotten off the phone with Callie, I saw I had a DM request from a username I didn’t recognize.
“Hey it’s V” I think my brain had short circuited. It all felt like it came out of nowhere. I guess that’s the thing about change, it doesn’t happen until it just… does. We had started chatting and it continued throughout the week, getting to know each other a bit, what we enjoy, what we don’t, our favorite colors, and even a bit of flirting. Another strange development in a situation that materialized all too quickly. But it was exciting. It has been a while since I’ve been truly excited about something or …someone.
I think it helps that we don’t really know each other. Our identities are a secret. It’s sort of like getting to know the contents of a box without getting to know the box, if that makes sense. It’s hard to explain, but I like it. Being myself comes easier this way. There are less distractions.
My guide comes to a stop and knocks on a door. Anticipation grips me as it opens, a woman dressed in black greets us with a smile on her face.
“Come on in! We’re excited to meet you.” The Espera, or the three female background vocalists, usher me into the dressing room and to a spot in front of the mirror. Their welcoming energy helps quell my buzzing thoughts. We fall into easy conversation as I work on my hair and makeup. The dress I chose is sexy but functional. Thin straps, square neckline dipping in a quick plunge, finished off with a thigh high slit. My hair tumbles around my shoulders and down my back in a lion’s mane of waves. My lips are painted the darkest shade of red, the only real part of my face that will be seen from behind the gold mask that lays on the counter before me.
The Espera give me a crash course in backup vocals. No pressure, just last minute winging it in front of 13,000 people. I still can’t wrap my head around this, even as they help fit the mask to my face. It looks just like theirs, intricate bronze scrollwork curling down my cheeks, leaving only my mouth and jaw exposed. The mesh panels over the eyes allow me to make out shapes and light. So I can see plenty, but it doesn’t feel that way. For me, I might as well be blind. It’s the feeling of being out of control, a vulnerability that leaves me a bit raw and on edge.
A knock raps at the door and my ears grasp at every little sound, attempting to make up for my lack of sight. The women gather as it clicks open. Their blurry forms disappear to the sounds of scuffling shoes. The door closes. My blurred vision watches as a dark figure slowly makes its way across the mirrored space. Fully blind I would know it was him. The magnetism of his presence is threatening to drag me in like the gravity of a blackhole. It’s supermassive…
I hold my breath as he surveys me. It would be a lie to say that I am not intimidated under his gaze. Despite the disguise, the feeling of vulnerability remains.
“This suits you. How does it feel?” He purrs his approval. The tension in my chest eases.
“Thank you. How does what feel?”
“Your transformation.”
“Transformation? Into what?” My breath hitches, I can see his dark figure looming behind me.
“Your true self.”
“I’m not really sure what you mean by that. As excited as I am, I am also a little nervous.”
“What are you nervous about?”
“I’m not sure if it’s one specific thing. I just don’t know what to expect. I’ve never done this before. I know I’m wearing a mask but it still feels scary to have people actually watching me. This is worlds away from posting anonymous videos online.”
“I can understand. For us, the disguises are about showing the parts of ourselves that do not feel comfortable in our daily lives. Whether that is because we feel they should be hidden or we lack a suitable outlet. So it’s really not a disguise at all, but a revelation. By wearing this mask, I take off the invisible one I wear everyday. I embody the aspects of myself that I wouldn’t otherwise. So ask yourself… What would that feel like for you? Who would you allow yourself to be if you knew you were free from judgement?”
“I think it would feel freeing. But how am I supposed to figure that out tonight?”
“A lot can happen in just one night.”
Unsure of what to say, I sigh and tilt my head. A gentle tap on the side of my mask is his response. I stare straight ahead, looking upon our blurry reflections in the mirror.
“Envision yourself right now. A different version of you, a fantasy. Who could you be? How would you carry yourself? What presence do you bring? Take a minute. Close your eyes if you need. Think of the answer and then feel it. Become it. This is the transformation. It is first in your mind and then, in your being.”
I take a breath, close my eyes, and do as he says. I see the masked version of me, painted with black, a version of me that no one knows. Not even myself. She can be anything. I can be anything. This essence blossoms in my bones, radiating until it anchors itself into my being. Excitement ripples under my skin. I open my eyes.
“How does it feel?”
“It feels… different. I see myself but also… more.”
Vessel tilts his head.
“I saw paint. On my neck and it ran down.” Skimming my hands over my arms to illustrate my point.
“Stand.” I pray my knees don’t give out as I follow his command.. His proximity sends little electric waves skating along my skin.
“You know it’s true what they say. Depriving one sense, heightens the others. Close your eyes.”
I do as he says. Anticipation coursing through me.
“Touch, for example.”
His hands skate up my arms, over my bare shoulders to my neck. His fingers stroke along my skin, pressing into the muscles and working at the tension. Other parts of me start to crave the same and the weight of arousal settles between my thighs. I exhale a sigh. His fingertips play along my skin, alighting little sparks. Just as I’m being lulled into a daze, he stops. Moving away from me, he leans against the counter, silently staring. The vulnerability isn’t as uncomfortable now. Security has replaced whatever fear I felt before. He reaches for something on the counter.
“May I? I have an idea for you with this paint.”
“You may.” I tease lightly and I hear the sound of spinning plastic.
The light of the room is dimmed as he steps closer. Both hands come around my neck and fear takes root in an instant. What am I doing? I’m alone with a man who is dressed like a demon god, his hands are wrapped around my throat, and we are in a room where no one can hear me scream…probably. Oh no…. Should I be worried about how that turned me on?
Instead of squeezing the air from my lungs, he works the paint onto my skin. His fingers splay as he drags his hands down both sides of my neck. His fingernails scrape over my collarbones, stopping just before the neckline of my dress. My eyes fall closed and I can’t help the sigh that escapes or the shudder that runs through my body. Nor can I help imagining what it would feel like to have his hands on my thighs. Leaving a sinful trail of evidence, as he explored more sensual areas of my body. Circling behind me, his hands clasp my arms, leaving one last mark.
“Look at yourself.” His deep voice jarring me from my haze. Even with my obscured vision, I can clearly see the twin trails of black that drag down my neck, stopping just before my breasts and the stark handprints on my upper arms.
“It looks like I’ve been marked by a monster.” I say, amusement clear in my tone.
Silence. A brief moment of tension, then his hand wraps around my throat. He leans closer to me.
“Are you calling me a monster?” His teasing is mixed with tones of darkness. I shudder at the thrill.
“No. Monsters are scary and I’m not scared of you” …Yet
“Do you want to be scared of me?” His voice is low in my ear.
“Maybe a little” Maybe more than a little.
I see his head tilt in the mirror. I can’t see his eyes but I feel them flaying me alive, gleaning every dark desire snaking through my body. He releases me, putting a bit more distance between us.
“As much as I would love to explore that, it’s about time we get ready to go on. You’ll be brilliant. If you get nervous just remember my touch and how it’s plain for everyone to see.” I could feel him wink at me as he said that. It wasn’t the worst suggestion. That would certainly distract my thoughts from wandering into anxiety, but it would distract me in other ways. Blushing, I step through the door he holds for me, and follow him down the hall.
-------------
Like a cutscene in a movie, suddenly I’m on stage and the show is taking off. The lights and sounds are overwhelming. I allow myself a few minutes to adjust. Slowly, I begin to pick up the swaying movements from the Espera. Taking cues from their hazy shapes. Then, I allow my voice to softly join theirs. The flashing mass of screaming fans mere feet away is difficult to tune out, but I let them blur into shapes through my mask and my voice rises to the music. With each song they play, my confidence grows, and I feel that vision of myself, from the dressing room, coming to life.
Well, I know what you want from me
You want someone to be your reflection, your bitter deception
Setting you free, so you take what you want and leave
Excitement strikes like lightning. Of course I knew this song was coming, but being a part of it? Dancing while every instrument reverberates through my body?
Won’t you come and dance in the dark with me?
Tapping into that sensual side of me, I allow it to take form, my hips swaying to the rhythm. I trail my fingertips over my body, and pleasure ripples behind my touch. Hearing whispers of my voice wafting through the background is unreal.
Lipstick, chemtrails, red flags, pink nails
I once made a comment to Callie about how I fantasize about being in an orgy while this song plays because it never fails to turn me on. The way the beat builds and morphs, the lyrics on top of that, it feels like seduction. My voice vibrates through my being, sparking a dark desire that flares with the melody. My eyes fall shut as I remember our time together in the dressing room. I feel his phantom touch along my skin and surrender myself to the sensations.
You make me wish I could disappear
The music dies down, somber notes begin to rise. Recognition flutters in my heart. This is the song that first drew my attention to him… and his attention to me. My eyes snap open on instinct, despite my obstructed view, I see a dark figure approach me, blocking out the crowd. My heart begins to race. I tilt my masked face up at his towering form. He grabs my hand and leads me from behind my place in the background. There we are, front and center. I have no idea what he is doing or what he expects of me. My blood roars through my ears, beating against the tense curiosity of the all too quiet crowd. Curious cheers ring out, but my focus is drawn to him.
I dream in phosphorescence
Bleed through spaces
My nails scrape restlessly against the fabric of my dress. I have no idea what he wants from me. We never talked about this. Am I just supposed to stand here? Am I supposed to sing a specific part or harmony? My thoughts race as panic begins to sink its claws into me.
His finger curls under my chin. The gentle weight of him pulls me from the quicksand of my mind.
I’m transfixed as he sings to me.
My, my those eyes like fire I’m a winged insect you’re a funeral pyre.
A calm intensity settles in as I focus on the figure before me. Like a siren song his entire being draws me in until there is no one else. No crowd. Not even the band. Just him and me.
The music begins to build. I feel it in my chest. His hand lightly strokes my chin in invitation. The energy builds in my stomach and moves up my throat. God, it feels like it’s going to burst out of me. So I close my eyes and let it.
I will travel far beyond the path of reason. Take me back to Eden. Take me back to Eden
Our melody turns into harmonious wails.
Take me back to Edeeeennn
My eyes open to a flash of white teeth as he grins down at me, the music continuing its heavy intensity. That grin against his mask and paint, looks every bit like the monster I mentioned. The music drops into a quiet tempo and he steps closer, leaning in as his hood brushes my cheek.
“Stay.” He commands, before sauntering off, just as three chords are played.
Well yeah I spit blood when I wake up
He crouches towards the swarming crowd as he recites the lines. Waving hands and screaming smiles line the front of the crowd. As I watch him move across the stage, I remember his painted marks on my skin. My cheeks burn as he approaches me again.
I need you to see me for what I have become
Long fingers wrap around mine, bringing my hand to grasp the microphone, joining him for the chorus.
My, my those eyes like fire
My voice is a sweet backdrop contrasting his, as we sing together until the beat drops off. The hand folded atop mine loosens, his arm falling slack and I let go of the mic. His free hand sneaks through my hair, cradling my head in his hand. The sounds of birds chirping flit around the notes of the piano. This intimate moment sets me ablaze as I remember there are thousands of people watching. Jealousy licks at my sides from the scrutiny of their gaze. I pay them no mind.
His hands fall from my hair, as he lifts the mic, but sings to me.
I guess it goes to show does it not
That we’ve no idea what we’ve got until we lose it
His words resonate through my chest. Understanding the opportunity tonight presents, I want to make the most of this night, of this connection, and just enjoy whatever is to come.
No amount of self-sought fury will bring back the glory of innocence
Sound pours from me as I join him singing once again. The music sweeps me along and I ascend with it.
We were tangled up like branches in a flood
What happens next takes me by surprise. Vessel loops an arm around my waist, drawing me in until my dress brushes against his belt. He screams the ending lines with such intensity I feel as if I’m being hit by a hurricane. I can barely make out what he’s saying. My heart seizes with another little thrill of fear. All I see is the fierce glint of teeth through the contortions of his mouth as the music fades out.
Piano keys begin to play, as he leads me back to my place among the Espera. This is the last song of the show, Euclid. What a beautiful note to end on. I channel all the joy in my little heart into singing this final song. I know maybe the lyrics aren’t the happiest but I can’t help but feel light while singing it. Our voices fade out, as he brings things to a close.
The whites of your eyes, turn black in the lowlight
So give me the night, the night, the night…
-------------
We stopped by the dressing room long enough for me to grab my belongings and then he was leading me through more hallways. He holds a door open for me and I step into a gaudy locker room. Leading the way, I follow him through the space and into a long room. The harsh fluorescence glares off of the white tile lining the walls. On the left, is a mirrored wall of sinks and who knows what else. On the right, benches border each door frame, opening into showers.
We walk a few stalls down, I hang my tote and arrange my clothes on the bench as he wanders away. Pulling out a hair tie, I twist my hair up into a messy bun. Butterflies twist through my belly as he returns to my side, hanging a towel on my hook. We’ve shared this entire night, this entire week, without seeing each other’s face, perhaps we’ve seen a deeper truth. Either way, I’m not ready for it to end.
Inspiration strikes and I stride back to the main door and begin to flick the lights off one by one until all that is left is the glow of the adjoining locker room. His masked face tilts as his attention focuses on me. Grabbing the door handle, I pull it closed behind me until only a necessary sliver of light shines through. Giving my eyes a second to adjust, I carefully make my way back to my bench. I feel another thrill of excitement at the atmosphere. The near pitch black, the silence all around us, almost like something you’d see in a scary movie. I hear clothes rustling from the bench he is at. I’m still working on undoing the straps of my heels when I hear the harsh splash of water against tile. Once all of my outfit has made it into my tote, I take cautious steps into the awaiting shower.
“I wanted to keep the mystery going but maybe it’s a bit too dark.” So dark, that I can barely make out the other person in my proximity. My hands feel along the cool tiles for support.
“Give it a minute. Your eyes will adjust.” He’s calm. Still. Giving me space to acclimate. No longer clutching at the wall, I can make out the shape of him easier. Barely, I see the steam from the water and pumps of soap attached to the wall.
“Will they adjust enough to be able to tell the difference between which is the soap and which is the conditioner?” I tease.
“Hmm might have to go with good ole trial and error on that” Our laughter echoes against the walls.
Stepping closer, I let my gaze wander. The lines of his muscles catch what little light there is. My breath hitches, the difference in our height is exaggerated now that I am barefoot. The way he looms over me keeps his face masked in shadow. Again, the thrill of being alone with this strange, dark god shivers through me, bringing my awareness back to the arousal that has been burning all night.
“Well I will gladly volunteer as the test subject.”
“And I will gladly accept. I didn’t want to assume…”
“I would actually prefer if you do assume.” I step closer to him. Even in the pitch black I can see his head tilt down at me.
“Did you enjoy yourself tonight?”
“I did. I’ve never experienced anything like it.” I say almost reverently.
“Shall we keep the experience going then?” A shiver runs through my body
“Yes.” I breathe..
“Sing for me?” My brows jump up. Posting videos of me singing alone in my house and singing background vocals could not prepare me for this.
“What do you want me to sing?”
“Anything” My mind goes blank all for one song. I take a deep breath to still my nerves.
Come with me, and you’ll be, in a world of pure imagination
Tentatively, I recite the words.
Take a look and you’ll see
Into your imagination
There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
His voice joins mine.
Living there, you’ll be free
I stop, allowing him to finish the verse
If you truly wish to be
Courage is easier found in the dark I realize, when my hands begin to trail along his chest and I continue singing.
If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
My long nails gently scrape across his abs as his fingers trace the black paint along my chest.
“What a mess I’ve made.” The timbre of his voice sends desire rushing through me. Reaching back, he grabs something from one of the dispensers and lathers his hands. The creamy substance spreads down my shoulders as he begins to work out the tension in my muscles. His hands began to slip down to above my breasts. Working in slow circles. The combination of excitement and desire keeps my mind sharp despite the haze of lust. His thumbs swipe across my skin with a delicious pressure. Grasping the tops of my arms, he leans towards me and my lips hum in anticipation. His mouth grazes past my cheek.
“I think… this is conditioner” He murmurs in my ear. I can’t help the surprised giggle that escapes me. I can feel his amusement even as he turns from me. The muted clicks of the dispenser can be heard over the shower stream. When he faces me again, the energy shifts. A thrill runs through me as he grabs the back of my neck with one hand.
“May I?” He echoes the familiar words he spoke earlier in the night.
“You may.” I breathe and his lathered hand begins running down my neck, as his other creeps up into my hair. My head tilts back. The glow from the distant light flashes off his sharp grin. His hand moves lower down my chest, as he works at the paint there. I’m not sure which is more arousing. Him painting me or washing it off. My nipples harden and a dull throb settles between my thighs just as his large hand sweeps over my breast. His fingers capture my nipple, flexing and rolling against my soft skin. I exhale shakily as he moves on to the other, giving it the same treatment. Grabbing my hips, he pulls me into the water, washing away his claim, his touch laying stake to a new one. Then he flips me around, I catch myself on the cool tile wall. As he steps closer, I can feel him pressed against me.
“I very much enjoyed having my mark on you, clear for everyone to see.” His voice is low against my ear, as his lips drag over my neck, gently nipping at my skin. The hand on my right hip slides down my thigh. My legs tense in anticipation. His fingers begin swiping in teasing strokes, closer and closer to where I burn for his touch.
“Tell me, what has you so wet for me?” I let out a whimper as his fingertips slide through the evidence of his claim.
“Was it on stage? When I whispered in your ear?” Stay. I shook my head. That definitely turned me on but it wasn’t where it started. The memory of us in the dressing room, with his hands around my neck flickers through my mind. Just that quick thought stokes the already well fanned flames of arousal.
“Before the show in the dressing room” I say and receive a hum of approval. I’m rewarded as his finger dips inside me ever so slightly. His strokes are shallow, only increasing my need for him.
“What about it?” His fingers slow, urging me to respond. It’s hard to think through the fog of my desire.
“When you painted my neck.” Relief washes over me as he picks up his still too slow pace. His left hand moves from my hip, trailing over my fluttering stomach, paying brief attention to my breast, before sliding around my throat. My thighs clench around his hand before I can help myself, my body vibrating with anticipation.
“Ah so this is what you like?” His grip tightens as he speaks and my hips rock back desperate for more than this teasing. All I accomplish is grinding my ass against his cock. He inhales sharply but presses himself fully against me.
“So eager.” He laughs. “Is this what you’ve wanted?” His fingers still move at a languid pace, but curl deeper inside me.
“Yes” I nod enthusiastically.
“But it’s not enough is it?” I shake my head. Because despite the pleasure I felt, the need was greater. The need to feel more of him, to have more of him. He obliges, sliding in a second finger. I cry out, my cheeks heat from embarrassment at the echo. I press my lips together, stifling my moans. His fingers still. He leans forward, his chest against my back, pressing me into the wall.
“Don’t stop singing for me now” He purrs and the rumble in his chest vibrates through my own.
“It’s just you and me. There’s no one else.”
I exhale heavily as my mouth parts. Right away, he rewards me with deliberate strokes of his fingers. The hand around my neck lazily works at the muscles there and waves of ecstasy shoot through me. My nails catch on the grout between the tiles as pleasure begins to coil tight in my muscles. I’m lost in the way my moans reverberate around us as his thumb carefully starts working my clit. It’s consuming. The stretch of his fingers, dragging over every sensitive spot inside me, playing my body like an instrument. His hips roll against my backside, grinding against me. I can feel the hard length of him, thick and hot against me. I begin to crave more and the thought alone of feeling all of him inside me brings me towards the peak.
“Someday I will have all of you and you will have all of me. Until then I will have the memory of how wet and tight you are around my fingers. Wishing you were wrapped around my cock instead.” My hips rocked, practically riding his hand as the pleasure ramping up inside me spun so tight I felt it would snap at any moment. “Every time I look at my hand I want to remember how it felt to have you come on my fingers.” A ragged cry left my throat as his words pushed me over the edge. The tension inside me broke. Shattered shards of pleasure sliced through me as my body shook. His hand slipped out of me and I felt him work himself against my ass. Tremors skittered through me as I began to come down from my high. The cooling fire in my core alighting anew at the knowledge that he would soon follow. The hand around my neck had slid to brace himself against the wall.
“I want to feel you claim me again.” Shortly after those words left my mouth, I heard him groan. He shuddered against me as I felt hot spurts of him against my hip and back. His cheek came to rest against the top of my head. We stayed pressed against the wall as our breathing and heart rates slowed.
“Well I’m afraid I’ve made a bigger mess than when we started.” My body vibrates against his as I laugh. He pulls me back to the water and gets to work cleaning me off.
“Ves. Thank you, for tonight.” The nickname felt a bit strange on my tongue but appropriate given the standing of our relationship now.
“The pleasure was mine. Thank you for joining us and thank you for indulging me.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss a once in a lifetime opportunity.”
“I’m flattered… We will see each other again, you know.” Now it’s my turn to tilt my head at his words.
“Will we?” The possibility hadn’t even crossed my mind. Everything happened so fast.
“If you would like… There is still so much left to explore.” Even in my sated state, the purr of his words spark arousal.
“Oh I think I would like that very much.” Tension crackles between us. God if I don’t get out of here I’m going to be in over my head. Exhaustion was starting to creep into my bones.
“I think it’s past my bedtime.” I say with a yawn. That gets a little laugh out of him.
“Well you run along home before I’m inclined to drag you back into this cave and never let you go.” Again, he’s teasing, but the edge in his voice promises something darker. “Or someone comes looking for us and turns all those awful lights on.” His hands grip my shoulders as he leans down and plants a kiss on the top of my head. “We wouldn’t want to ruin the mystery.”
“We sure wouldn’t” Reluctantly, I walk away. I dry off the lingering evidence of what just occurred between us, slip into my clothes, and return to the harsh light of reality.
In other news, writing is going very well. I am so excited to have this first part of my new piece out soon. It's a bit long, but I'm taking my time with it and very happy to be writing.
I finally accepted this stupid little blue chattering teeth badge for posting but where are the badges for being on this godforsaken platform for DECADES??? Since the BEGINNING OF TIME??? I just looked at the other badges you can purchase and why...
