yo

by the way you should be warned that this is my text post blog like seriously I ramble a lot here follow at your own risk tw: intense narcissism (i really love myself a lot)

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fun drinking game take a shot every time it's mentioned that Dave and Amy are together

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Dave is going back to his possibly demon-infested house because he refuses to sleep on John's couch and John won't give up the bed

there is a very simple solution here and both of them are ignoring it

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Dave gets a picture of a man's penis on his phone

John: "Dave! Don't talk. Listen. You have a picture in your inbox. DO NOT OPEN IT. I sent it to the wrong number"

r u sure about that John ;) ;) ;)

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"I said, 'I love you.'"

to John

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talking to Freddy is like bashing my head against a brick wall except it's not painful it's just sheer and utter dumbfuckery

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DAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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"You've never seen my penis!"

de nile is not just a river in Africa John

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OH MY GOD AMY GO AWAY

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no

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man you know Bella Swan sucks and all but everyone always forgets she punched a werewolf in the face

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also I think I just found a way to watch Freddy's hockey games which is p cool

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I just stared at a picture of three of my friends in sunglasses making the duck face at the camera and was just unbelievably happy that I have these people in my life

I can't even really explain what about it made me so happy it's just kind of like

I feel so lucky. I mean, sometimes Holly cuts off my stories or Paige gets mad when I scream about her shooting fire at me ok well that's not how it happened but the fire tilted in sort of almost my direction and sometimes I can't hear Erika but she's getting much louder this year and that makes me so proud of her like you don't even understand but it's like

at the end of the day I'm just really happy we're all friends because I didn't really have a constant group of friends in middle school and I just really like these people

damn I just want us to all grow up and like live next door or some shit because my mom talks to her high school friends really infrequently and it makes me sad and also our kids could be best friends which would be totally rad because we're all gonna have rad babies unless we decide not to have babies because that's ok

just

HUGS ALL OF U

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“Let me tell you everything you need to know about John. The reason I was surprised by your hand was because John never once described you as, ‘the girl with the missing hand.’”

done

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two paragraphs later:

"From past experiences with John I will extrapolate that he told a series of humorous stories about his penis, drank some sort of off-brand alcohol and then had sex with yet another girl who I secretly had a crush on but never got the courage to talk to."

oh John

[ginadanielsjfc]

"Let me tell you everything you need to know about John. The reason I was surprised by your hand was because John never once described you as, 'the girl with the missing hand.'"

done

[ginadanielsjfc]

"This Book is Full of Spiders - Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It"

don't tell me what to do Dave