"you're the color of a sparkler"

xxx

[fergzillar]

Some dude: Hey bro you got the time?

Me: Yeah it’s fuckinuuuuuh [pulls a cat out of the inside of my jacket and looks it dead in the eyes] about 6pm

[lumpawaroospaceprincess-moved-d]

Context:

[empirextress]

I thought this was some shitpost and I just accepted it

[heavensghost]

[biohazardinc-deactivated2020012]

[wlwbeauty-blog]

Concept: you’ve been married to your wife for 3 years. You wake up in your bed before she does, your nose cold but your body warm. Careful not to wake her, you get out of bed and your toes curl when your feet hit the cold floor. You brew a pot of coffee and take a cup, making sure to leave enough for her. You pull on a big sweater and walk out onto your deck, sitting in a big wood chair to look out over the forest. The leaves are orange and edged with frost. All is quiet as the sun rises over the trees. You hear the door opening behind you and your wife sits down next to you, wrapping the comforter from your bed around both of you shoulders. You sit there like that until the sun is well up and your coffee cups are empty.

[extrashenanigans-deactivated202]

Oh my god. This is it. I want this so badly.

[3dbabyfromallymcbeal]

i love hanging out with girls who are also trainwrecks bc i can like vomit all over the side of a car and theyre like We’ve all been there :)

[sad-plath]

1. You must let the pain visit. 2. You must allow it to teach you 3. You must not allow it to overstay.

Ijeoma Umebinyuo, three routes to healing  (via earthmedicina)

[lilgivenchyprincess]

[meanplastic]

[vashito]

the treat yo self scene in parks and rec is the worst thing that ever happened to my self-control

[memewhore]

[blameaspartame-deactivated20200]

Jack off!

[libertybill]

Bust a Nut! That’s right! We finally made our pistachio ice cream Nut-Free!

[shitpost-senpai]

Beat that meat! Our new boca burgers now taste better than ever!

[andromedazhumanz]

Stroke a fat cock! Our lovable pet roosters are big, fluffy, and ready to be adopted!

[latenz]

Vincent Van Gogh used to eat yellow paint because he thought it would get the happiness inside him. Many people thought he was mad and stupid for doing so because the paint was toxic, never mind that it was obvious that eating paint couldn’t possible have any direct correlation to one’s happiness, but I never saw that. If you were so unhappy that even the maddest ideas could possible work, like painting the walls of your internal organs yellow, than you are going to do it. It’s really no different than falling in love or taking drugs. There is a greater risk of getting your heart broken or overdosing, but people still do it everyday because there was always that chance it could make things better. Everyone has their yellow paint.

(via alunit)

[the-taintedtruth]

If you’re ever lucky enough to find a girl who is a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind, you should hold onto that. Because she’ll be yours at two in the morning and at two in the afternoon the following day. She’ll kiss you where it hurts and until it hurts. And that’s important. Someone who not only knows how to turn you on but also knows how to treat you right is someone worth a little something… and a little more than usual.

(via the-taintedtruth)

[worldofthecutestcuties]

[stillabunchofmisfits]

I have a feeling her dog had puppies and she got too attached.

I have a feeling she is me in the future.

[corgisandboobs]

This is nearly enough dogs.

[just-call-me-your-darling]

Goals

[70pluslettuceheads-blog]

[plants4]

[mymodernmet]