On a forest log, embers vanish. They occasionally re-ignite due to the uncomfortably hot, dry breeze. However, flame conditions remain poor. In the moonlight, the sickeningly moist, rotten wood is almost inviting.
Despite this, it is exposed to the sun's scorching waves. What was once vibrant and clear has become a fractured, distorted deformation. Mud and fungus have whittled them away. And by those smoldering flames that wouldn't go out. They are biding their time while they tear through the wood that has remained dry enough to burn.
He can't recall what his first expectations were. Just the hazy notion that some life promise had been left unfulfilled. As a result, he is filled with rage and remorse.
Hypnotizing him into a numb, aggressive condition
Optimistic, pessimistic, and ignorant. In the uncomfortable calm of the night, he crumbles at moments. When sleep is eluding him and the prospect of a new day challenges his serenity. He's constrained by his mind, with the pieces of a life that didn't live up to its promise.
We lived in an apartment near our school from the time I was about 7 to 9 years old because our home was too far away. The Ilocano family who lived next door is my strongest childhood memory from this period. They have a son named Ethan who was a year my junior. We spent most days together, riding our bikes around campus and playing basketball and badminton in front of our houses.
I could tell this family was different from ours even at this young age, even though I didn't understand why. I was curious as to why my friend's parents spoke in a strange dialect. Even though his mother did not speak Tagalog, she always made me feel welcome and looked pleased to see me. It didn't take much for her attitude and large smile to convince me that this was a safe and joyful place.
I recall how much fun it was to play at their place. There always seemed to be a lot going on. Ethan's mother was often in the kitchen, stirring something delicious-smelling in a large pot. I recall thinking that it was the first time I'd ever smelled anything like that coming from our kitchen. I also recall being awestruck by that enormous pot. It appeared to be enormous to me. I'd never seen a pot so big on our stove before, and I was curious as to what was in it.
San Rafael was and continues to be a crop-growing town. Many people came from all over the country to work in the rice fields or on the farms in the area. I know for a fact that Ethan's family moved to San Rafael because his father was assigned to be the manager of the satellite factory in San Rafael by the corporation where he works.
We left the apartment when I was ten years old and returned to our home. After that, I changed schools and lost touch with my friend.
As I grew older, Ethan's father never forgot about me; whenever I posted something on Facebook, he would message me and ask how my parents were doing. It was always a pleasure to communicate with him.
I have vivid memories of Ethan and his father, but not of his mother, even though I recall her. Other kids were present, but I have no recollection of them.
"Life is like a Ferris wheel. Even when you're down, just remember there's always a way back up." This quote applies to me, as there are good, happy, and positive moments in my life, but there are also bad, depressing, and even tragic moments.
I was born on June 30, 2005, in my native hometown, San Rafael, Bulacan. Up until this point, I still don’t know why the name “Giovan” was given to me by my mother. But I know why I was given the name “Matthew” because my mother told me that she first heard that name from the Bible. Then, when she knew the meaning of the name “Matthew,” which is “gift of God,” she told herself that if she were to give birth to a baby boy, that’s the name that she’ll give him, which happened to be me.
I don’t know much about my early childhood days but my grandmother told me that I was a hyper and jolly kid.
I was a consistent honor student back in elementary. There was a time that I even ranked 3rd in my batch. And in junior high school, I was actively participating in extra-curricular activities. I joined dance competitions, badminton tryouts, speech choirs, and piano recitals, and I also represented our school once in a photojournalism contest (provincial division).
It felt like everything was completely fine, not until the 1st grading period of my freshman year in high school has ended. When the teacher was announcing the list of the honor students for the first quarter, my name was not mentioned. At first, I was like “It’s fine. At least I won’t be feeling any pressure in my academics from now on.” But as the school year has ended, seeing my honor student batchmates walking to the stage and receiving their academic awards, I pitied myself. I felt so down, that from that moment on, I lost my confidence in my academic performance.
I started refraining from participating in discussions, and I also started to focus more on my friends than on studying. By that, I didn’t mean that I didn’t care about my academics, of course, I am still aiming to pass and don’t have a line of 7. It’s just that I lost a huge amount of interest in my studies unlike before when I was an honor student. This behavior of mine lasted until my last year in my previous school.
In the year 2019, I transferred to New Era University. It took some time for me to adjust to the new environment. But I was not expecting what happened to me next. I became the top 2 in my class in the first grading. I was so surprised and happy at the same time when my name was announced. From that moment on, I regain confidence in myself. I told myself that from now on, I will take good care of my academic performance.
Now, my final year in junior high school came. Even though it was hard since we are schooling online and not in the classroom, I pushed myself to hold on to my goal that I will take good care of my academic performance. And so, it paid off. I graduated junior high school with academic honors.
But, as the title of this autobiography stated, my life is like a Ferris wheel. When the greatest moment of my life occurred, the saddest and most tragic moment also happened shortly after. My family and I got positive from the COVID-19 virus. My mother, brother, and my case is a mild one. But my father’s case is the dangerous one, the delta variant. I remembered when we were called by my father in the middle of the night as he was isolated from us and we are upstairs. That evening, my father is bidding hos goodbye already. He said that he can’t breathe anymore and he felt that he will be gone anytime soon.
After he stated those words, the three of us, Mommy, my brother, and I didn’t sleep because we are observing Daddy. Then the sunrise came, and my mother called several hospitals because Daddy needs to be confined. P.S. Those months, the hospitals aren’t accepting COVID patients as there are no beds left. Even if we brought Daddy to the hospital, he will just wait outside until a room became vacant. Luckily, my father was admitted to the hospital the day that my mother called the hospital. My mother joined my father in the hospital because my father is scared. He said that he can’t do it alone. They lasted in the hospital for a month. Thus, my brother and I were left in our house for a month. We can’t leave our house as we are also infected by the virus.
On August 24, 2021, the day of my moving-up ceremony, My mother called me and told me the most painful words that I’ve heard in my whole life while she was crying, “Daddy is gone.” While my neighbor relatives were crying loudly as they have also received the tragic news, I was blanked. My mind was not responding at that time. It was all blanked. At that time, I was close to losing my faith in the Lord. I also lost interest in everything.
I also lost again my interest in studying. But I asked myself, “Will my father be happy if he sees me like this?” That’s when I started reflecting and I realized that my father will be happy if I took care of my studies. Yes, it is hard, my mental health has crumbled. But I will do my best to survive in this cruel world. I will slowly rise and continue to walk on the path of life.
"Life is like a Ferris wheel. Even when you're down, just remember there's always a way back up."
Maria Rowena Amelia Villena Guanzon is a Filipina lawyer, public servant, and politician who served as the commissioner of the Philippine Commission on Elections under President Benigno Aquino III and President Rodrigo Duterte from 2015 to 2022. Before she was appointed by the late former president Aquino at the Commission on Elections (COMELEC) in February 2015, she previously worked as a Commission on Audit (COA) commissioner from 2013 to 2015.
Guanzon served as mayor of Cadiz City in Negros Occidental from 1986 until 1992. She also served as chief of staff to Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago, whom she greatly admires.
Guanzon was born on August 29, 1957, into the prominent Guanzon family of Negros Occidental, which is known for its sugarcane plantation. Sixto Guanzon, a retired Regional Trial Court judge, is her father, and Elvira Villena Guanzon, a lawyer and former Cadiz City vice-mayor, is her mother.
Guanzon went to Dumaguete's Silliman University High School. She then studied economics at the University of the Philippines Diliman before going on to the University of the Philippines College of Law to acquire her law degree, graduating in the top ten of her class and receiving a dean's medal.
Guanzon also has a master's degree in public administration from Harvard University's Kennedy School of Government, where she was a class marshal and an Edward S. Mason fellow.
Guanzon was named mayor of Cadiz City, Negros Occidental in 1986 by the Provisional Government of the Philippines, which was founded following the People Power Revolution of 1986, which overthrew the Marcos administration and forced Ferdinand Marcos into exile.
Guanzon became the Philippines' youngest mayor when he was appointed at the age of 28. After several other candidates declined to run for mayor of Cadiz, fearing retribution from local strongman Armando Gustilo, who had played a crucial part in the Escalante massacre just months before, in September 1985, she was selected. She had to carry firearms for protection due to persistent harassment by Gustilo and his supporters, even during social occasions and public events.
The provisional government quickly proposed a new constitution, and its passage in February 1986 meant that, beginning with the 1988 Philippine elections, appointed local government officials would be replaced by elected officials. Guanzon ran for and won the office of Cadiz City mayor, which she had been assigned to.
She was mayor until 1992, when her term came to an end.
Guanzon was also a professor at the University of the Philippines College of Law in UP Diliman, where she taught Election Law and Local Government.
She was appointed to the Commission on Audit (COA) on March 8, 2013, vowing to "give attention to gender and development" upon her appointment. Chairperson Ma was the COA commissioner at the time. Commissioners Gracia M. Pulido Tan and Heidi L. Mendoza, as well as Guanzon's appointment to the third seat, made the COA an all-female agency.
Guanzon was appointed to the Commission on Elections (COMELEC) on April 28, 2015, for a seven-year term that would end in February 2022.
Guanzon is well known for presiding over the disqualification case brought against presidential candidate Bongbong Marcos, which was raffled for the first division in 2022. Guanzon publicly identified fellow commissioner Aimee Ferolino as "the one postponing the verdict in favor of Marcos" just days before stepping down. Guanzon stated that Ferolino was deliberately delaying her decision on the disqualification issue in order to prevent Guanzon's vote from being tallied due to her impending retirement. Guanzon openly expressed his displeasure with Ferolino, claiming that the case was being hampered by a "influential senator." In the meantime, Ferolino criticized Guanzon for "mind conditioning" the public against her, insisting that "she needed more time." After Guanzon's retirement, the first division resolved to dismiss the petition in favor of Marcos.
Guanzon is also an author of law books. Her publications include Issues and Problems in the Enforcement of the Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004, Philippine Law Journal (Dec 2008); Constitutional Challenges to the Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004, Journal of the Integrated Bar of the Philippines (March 2009); The Anti-Trafficking in Persons Act: Issues and Problems, Journal of the Integrated Bar of the Philippines; and Legal and Conceptual Framework of Battered Woman Syndrome as a Defense, Philippine Law Journal (Vol. 86, No. 1 December 2011).
Guanzon's work, The Anti-Sexual Harassment Act Notes and Cases, was released by the University of the Philippines Law Center in 2014. Guanzon is currently writing textbooks on The Local Government Code for the University of the Philippines and The Auditing Code of the Philippines Casebook.
The retired COMELEC commissioner grew up to be a strong lady thanks to her courageous and patriotic parents.
Guanzon left a statement in her speech to UP students four years ago that she seems to remember to this day. She expressed her desire that it will become the battlecry of all Filipinos. “Do not let history pass you by,” the message went. “Do your part. Speak out. Stand for what is right and just.”
