Turtle Chief

Turtle Chief, Omlette Queen, Salmon of Eunthusiasm and all round awesome person. Because on the internet I can give myself a title. I am Zoe. I blog. sort of. But not about anything in particular. “What I say is that, if a man really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow.” A. A. Milne

[anxietyproblem]

[anxietyproblem]

[giraffe-i-be]

I am so glad I had the breast reduction

[bad-days-are-ok]

[giraffe-i-be]

Hello 28

[gahdamnpunk]

[suenyito]

me whispering to my dog in the dark: hey.. you still up?

[saara138]

[edamessiah]

there's probably no limit to the amount of corpses you can carry. but, I don't know

[greyduckgreygoose]

i’m not “lazy” i’m just a fragile victorian maiden. i can only handle 1-2 mildly taxing activities a day before i have to put myself down for a nap until dinner

[giraffe-i-be]

just a sloth mug full of prosecco and two sleeping corgis

[cordspaghetti]

thought of that 2002 poster

[giraffe-i-be]

yikes, 

[saying]

[kantstudies]

i wrote half an essay in 20mins today when it’s not even due for another 4 weeks, reblog this to have a productivity lightning bolt strike you like it did me today

[skybound-soul-deactivated202111]

let’s go on a date and by date I mean lay in bed and make out for 3 hours

[skybound-soul-deactivated202111]

I married the girl I wrote this about and if that isn’t hope for you almost 1 milllion thirsty motherfuckers idk what is

[xx0ct0-m4rzxx]

Wait did this

[xx0ct0-m4rzxx]

Did this really happen

[skybound-soul-deactivated202111]

Facts

[glutenfreetitty]

Reblog for good luck

[watacco-deactivated20181130]

“imagine i had i bowl of skittles and three of them could kill you-”