So... what’s been happening with me? As you all know, it had been quite a while since I last posted anything, and an even longer while since I was posting stuff regularly.
Now, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go back to posting stuff freaking daily, especially since I do want there to be mostly. New stuff and variety, rather than rehashing old poses.
But it would be nice to get back into the swing of things a bit. However, I hadn’t really fully recovered from the first move, the voluntary one that had been planned for months. And.. here’s where we get to the first big event that’s happened recently:
I had to move again! Me and my girlfriend’s landlords decided to displace us to another one of their properties, and unfortunately they’re fully within their legal rights to do so. So right now I’m in the third place to call home in two years.
That’s. Huge, in terms of the impact it has on anybody, even someone who can normally do a million things a week. Let alone for someone who.. (leading into the next point)
..Actually has a proper official EDS diagnosis now! So now I have, on record, a letter describing how the genes responsible for my collagen production are mutated somehow and the collagen is weak. This not only affects my joints which I knew about already, but also.. pretty much everything. Collagen is one of the fundamental building blocks of your whole body. Everything uses it for something. And all of mine is weak and too flexible.
Which leads to chronic pain and chronic fatigue, and I know I’ve talked about experiencing those before. That makes it really hard to do stuff.
Walking too much can literally permanently damage my joints and my bones. Lifting or bending too much, the same. So going out is very difficult. And I’m probably going to use a manual wheelchair at least part-time as soon as I can get the energy together to do the research required first. Just like with my walking stick, which I got almost a year ago. The walking stick has helped a lot in letting me move around when my balance sucks but my pain isn’t too bad. But often I need to do stuff when the stick can’t help. So.. yeah.
And all the expert medical advice I’ve gotten says, “take it slow. Don’t push too hard, just make slow and steady progress and be aware of your body’s limits. Sooner or later you’ll get it done.” and, I suppose, true enough, I am coming back here. It’s just taken a long while.
And it’ll take another long while to sort out the results of this house move, which is frustrating. Because it’s something that couldn’t wait, and totally displaced everything else.
A few months ago I was actually able to walk around a lot more than usual for the first time in a long time. I was home-cooking like 80% of the meals we were eating, and we were learning Japanese together with self-directed learning resources. I could feel myself getting really really close to being able to do some more shoots, and, uh, well yeah then the news hit and we both just had to redirect 100% of our energy to preparing as best we could, and we were getting very drained by all the stress of the situation too.
A little more on that point, it actually takes a lot of energy just to set up a shoot. We don’t have any rooms or beds that’re completely dedicated to shoots at the moment, so there’s the moving stuff about and turning the heater on if necessary so I can be nude and everything.
I then have to get out the tripod, affix the camera to it, get my mic out, start recording on both, sync the audio with a standard cue (quite a few years ago I used to make a lot of weird videos on YouTube for fun, so these processes weren’t exactly new to me), and THEN either have successfully sustained my horny or get myself horny again for the actual shoot.
And let me tell ya, exhaustion and pain makes it pretty difficult to get horny. So, more or less, all these situations and medical problems have combined to make it difficult to get horny, and I just know that I would’ve both exhausted myself and lost the mood if I tried to do anything about it.
Which isn’t particularly conducive to doing.. this. What I do. Originally this was gonna lead into me doing camshows on a regular schedule after I’d “settled down” from the move, but the facts of my disability and how difficult it is to just do what needs to be done to live my life have made all of that seem very difficult and distant. It’s still something I’d like to do, of course.
I have been in. Like 3 or 4 different hospitals around my city, a few smaller clinics, over-the-phone consultations, referrals leading to referrals leading to referrals.... I am extremely grateful the NHS exists but I am also extremely pissed off by many of the ways it works. I definitely couldn’t afford to pay for all this out of pocket, that’s for damn sure.
Honestly, in many ways I feel directionless and lost about everything but. I’ll just keep trying to take each day one day at a time.. And, barring any more unexpected bullshit being generated by people who can do and handle a lot more than me, I will get through it. I’ve been through a lot before, I can handle a lot of shit if I have enough time and space to do it in.
Right now I have no idea what kind of schedule unpacking and decompressing from shipping our whole lives down to the other side of the street is going to take on. It could be a month or two. It could be 6 or 12.
I recently discovered that energy drinks help a lot with my fatigue though. Sooner or later I’d like to try some prescription stims instead, but I don’t know if it will actually be on the “sooner” side.. energy drinks are a fairly meaningful substitute at the moment though. At a little less than £1 per can, starting each day with one and being able to have more energy to do things is more than worth it I think.
That’s actually a large part of why I’ve been able to come back here with the timing I have, I think if I hadn’t tried out seeing if energy drinks would help, it would probably have been at least a few more months. So it is kind of nice that I can make it my Winter Holidaystime gift to yall.
I also have some pain meds that work a lot better for me. I was on codeine, and now I’m on dihydrocodeine, which is somewhere between.. 2 and 3 times as strong as codeine I think? I’ve been experiencing some difficulties with getting it to stay on my repeat prescription but, it is very much more effective at managing my pain, which is good too.
So, basically.... I have ways of chemically dealing with my fatigue and my pain now, within certain limits. Though I still have to be careful of overexerting myself because I can and still often do pay for it big time the next day or a few days later.
I know talk like this isn’t sexy or whatever. But I was touched by how so many of you were wondering where I was, so I figure the least I can do for yall is let yall know how everything’s been shaking out for me.
TL;DR, things are difficult but looking up? I guess?
Anyway, hi again everybody. Let’s try to make 2017 better than 2016 has been.
P.S. – how many of yall who made it this far are interested in seeing... feeder stuff? Like.. if I just decided to take a load of pics/vids of me eating a big pizza or something.. Lemme know. I wanna gauge interest.
okay, so, i’ve got all that stuff queued up. you should see my post about what’s been going on with me in about a week~ since it’s still on one post a day~
Finding information about muffing literally anywhere seems damn near impossible, so I figured I'd try asking you. Is it possible to get a hernia by 'fingering' your inguinals? I'm super into the idea of muffing myself or having my gf muff me but I'm worried about health risks. Also, what can I do to make it more pleasurable? I've only really done it twice now and both times left me feeling a little sore. Thanks in advance!
i’m not 100% sure, but i think something similar can sometimes happen depending on your scar tissue if you’ve had an orchidectomy.
just like anal sex, muffing is sore at first. take it slow, stop if there’s any sharp sudden pains.
it doesn’t feel good for everyone, just like any other kind of sex. i know lots of people who enjoy anal way more than they ever enjoy muffing. i myself get a lot more out of muffing than out of anal, though i do enjoy both.
I'm sure you've been asked this many times but what was it like getting your dick pierced? Where does one even get that done
piercers will give a list of what they’re certified to pierce. find one who does genital piercings, and phone up and ask if they need an appointment or if you can just drop in.
obviously you have to feel comfortable with a stranger seeing your genitals, though if your piercer is worth your time they’ll be professional about it.
(this next bit is in something called “rot13″, just googling that should get you a decoder. this is because it’s more detailed talk about piercings, and some people can get faint from that.)
fb lbh gryy gurz jung lbh jnag. v cvpxrq bhg gur wrjryyrel v jbhyq trg orsberunaq, lbh znl be znl abg or tvira bcgvbaf. ur nfxrq zr jung fvqr bs zl serahyhz v jnag gur cvrepvat gb tb ba, fvapr v fgvyy unir zl sberfxva. ur chg n fznyy nzbhag bs yhoevpnag ba n pheirq, fgrevyvfrq, fhetvpny fgrry ghor juvpu tbrf qbja lbhe herguen hagvy vg pbzrf vagb pbagnpg jvgu lbhe vaare jnyy.
hello! ah, i was trying to figure out how to buy your videos: when i go to your "buy my lewd videos" link, it takes me toa sight called manyvidsDOTcom, but not to your direct profile or anything like that/ how can we find your videos to purchase in particular? also, didn't you used to have a custom link for all your tags so it was easier to find exactly what you were looking for on the browser version for this blog??? ty very much for your help!
it looks like something happened which i wasn’t told about! i’m gonna have to rework my theme and my links, i think. that’s work for another day, though.
so, i do have some photos to post, but i figure i’ll start by looking through the asks that have accumulated.
just having a relaxed boxing day at 7am, slowing getting back into the swing of things, smoking and drinking tea and listening to jazz in my dressing gown. bliss, tbh~ 💜
hi everybody, i notice i’ve actually received quite a lot of messages asking if i’m okay, and i really really appreciate that.
as i’ve made some posts about it before, i had a lot of stuff happening in my life. a lot of stuff is still happening, but a lot of it has calmed down now.
i will be drafting a better longer blog post to fill yall in but the long and short of it is i’m okay. i still don’t know how often i’ll be able to post or make stuff, but i do have some more stuff i want to make.
it seems manyvids have deleted my account, perhaps as early as march 2016. which is bizarre, since they emailed me in may saying they’re "happy to take TG footage” now. perhaps they deleted my videos because they previously didn’t allow that, but now they do? i’m really not sure.
like i said, a longer post is coming. but first and foremost i want to say i’m still around. not a day has gone by where i’ve not thought about shoots, my health just hasn’t been in the right place to actually be able to do them.
thank you all for being my supporting fans, much love, mwah.
(PS: expect some new photosets soon. i have actually been taking some pics here and there, i’ve just not been able to get myself together enough to even check my email here, so they’ve not been posted yet.)
ugh. it's been a couple months. appointment after appointment popping up and draining me of all my energy. chronic pain + depression is the worst fucking combination lemme tell ya. can't really help out around the house, can't really take lewd photos of myself. having multiple disabilities really limits what you can do with your life. i try to not feel bad because, hey, too tired to feel sexy plus Authentic Porn equals... no porn. i wish i didn't put this pressure on myself to release Something every few weeks. i've actually only felt sexy once in the last few weeks. i'm finally getting round to queueing those pics up, at least. ugh. i'm sorry everyone. i'm trying to reduce the number of appointments i've got to go to but. the last one was a total surprise so i can't do any promises or anything.... i hope y'all understand...
2087
vaporwave
ellievsbear
turnnoffyourmind
stormborns
kianamaiart
blakekathryn