Girls on Third @girlsonthird-blog - Tumblr Blog

Irrational Fears: Permanent BO

There comes a time in every favorite t-shirts life, when no matter how many laundry cycles, the faint scent of BO still lingers. I stay awake at night in fear that my mystical wolf shirt with a lightening bolt through it (pictured above) is on the verge of becoming “pitted out.” This shirt has gotten me through dates, job interviews, doctors appointments - basically any life event that causes me anxiety. Here’s to hoping the the shirt’s magic powers repel BO.

#irrationalfears #wolves #graphic tee #forever 21

Dayak hunters tell terrifying tales about the fluffy tailed "tufted ground squirrel." Photo: Rona Dennis Vampire squirrels are a thing. You can find them in Borneo. And they sound absolutely terrifying. Native Dayak hunters in the hilly jungles of Borneo say that these killer rodents stalk their prey, usually small deer called muntjac, from low hanging tree branches. Once a tasty creature foolishly wanders beneath them, they say the squirrels jumps down, rip away at their jugular veins and then feasts on the beast's internal organs. That is according to a paper published by Taprobanica, a journal devoted to Asian flora and fauna. Impressively, the lead author on the paper was teenager Emily Mae Meijaard, who attends the British International School in Jakarta. She wrote it with her parents, Erik Meijaard and Rona Anne Dennis, who are both scientists. Rheithrosciurus macrotis has a tail 130% as large as its body by volume. Photo: J. Mathai/ HOSCAP Borneo In their paper on the innocent sounding "tufted ground squirrel" (scientific name Rheithrosciurus macrotis), the trio write: “Dayak hunters sometimes find these disemboweled deer in the forest, none of the flesh eaten, which to them is a clear sign of a squirrel kill. In villages close to the forest edge there were also accounts of the squirrel killing domestic chickens and eating the heart and liver only.” To be fair, these are merely stories collected by the scientists who wrote the paper. No one has been able collect hard evidence of the squirrels’ vampiric predatory powers. The hard data that Emily and her parents were able to collect was some of the world’s first high-quality photos and video of the squirrels in their natural habitat, captured with the aid of motion detecting cameras they set up in the jungle. With this data, Emily was able to analyze the squirrels’ physical features and come to this incredible conclusion: the tufted ground squirrel has the bushiest tail of any mammal compared to its body size. In fact, its tail is 30% larger in volume than its own body. The tales of this squirrel’s vampiric predatory powers may be even taller than its actual tail, but we’re stil going to be extra careful while walking under low hanging branches the next time we’re trekking through the jungles of Borneo.

#just the facts #vampire squirrels #animals #vampires

When you look up Carly Rae Jepsen’s infectious new pop song and discover that Tom Hanks stars in the video.

#Ab Jams and Toe Tappers #tomhanks #carly rae jepsen #i really like you

#believe in babs #barbra streisand #quotes

GoT Goals: Get Really Into Twitter

A few years ago I was all, “oh, maybe I’ll get really into Twitter!” Here are two Tweets I drafted around that time and never posted. They sum up life in 2012 pretty accurately.

“Surprises are fun but not when they are baby corn hidden in the Pad Thai I am eating.”

“Did he cheat on me and then break up with me or did I end things early on because he wore Crocs? History will decide.”

Sadly, @alsoamelia never really took Twitter by storm because let’s all be honest: Twitter seems like a lot of work and all 86 episodes of The Sopranos aren’t going to watch themselves.

#twitter #got goals

Prisoner in My Own Body: A Tale of Water Retention

#Titles Of My Future Memoir

Googles from Last Night: Winter 2015

Bruce Springsteen sad

Target weekly ad

mucoid plaque

Ovulation symptoms

Phil Spector

cremated

feathers on hats

Jenny Slate husband

ethernet cables

The Pelican Brief

GG Hadid

A History of Violence

Bingo Halls in Los Angeles

Carly Rae Jepsen

#gghadid #carly rae jepsen #jennyslate #bruce springsteen #Googles From Last Night

Cat Lady Wishlist: To Be This Cat

#cats #Cat Lady Wishlist #cat gifs

How to Tell When We Were Single and Dating

All you have to do is look back through the pictures on our phones. Are there more screenshots of text conversations with guys than there are actual photos of things? Then we were probably dating someone new!

#Girl Talk #texting #dating

Irrational Fears: BBQ SAUCE

One Sunday a month I have meltdown over my living conditions. This monthly meltdown happened yesterday when I woke up no longer able to ignore the hairballs on the floor and splashes of BBQ sauce on the kitchen wall (see above) - HOUSE OF HORRORS. Now that I’m thinking about it, this monthly meltdown could directly correlate with me using a fresh pair of contacts. But anyway, no longer able to ignore the squalor I go on a 4 hour manic cleaning binge where I cycle through every emotion possible. First I am reluctant. I sweep, and then surf the Internet. Wipe off a counter, and then surf the Internet. Dust a shelf, eat a snack. It isn’t until an hour in, when I put on my playlist called "Today's Top Hits," that I really hit my stride. Then after an hour of actually cleaning (that’s "Uptown Funk" 15x), I discover something rotting. This compiled with the fact that I'm unable to itch my face because of my bleach ridden rubber gloves = meltdown. The chemicals are leaching into my brain and my coping mechanisms are compromised. Will this ever end? I mean just how much BBQ sauce am I eating? And then my cat looks at me with an expression that says, "Get it together girl. You 30." Meow.

#irrational fears

Amy: Oh are you on the Civ subreddit?

Jon: Yeah, see, there's this cool new thing where people on try to do ridiculous situations, like putting 20 civs on a tiny map.

Amy: Wrong. That is boring.

#jus' chattin'#civilisation #video games

Jus' Chattin' with the Guy Who Delivers the Office Costco Order

Amy: Oh my god yes!

Delivery Guy: Are you happy to see me?

Amy: We have been waiting for this delivery for days. We ran out of Goldfish a week ago. God bless you.

Delivery Guy: This is a better greeting than I get at home!

#jus chattin

Recipes For a Good Time