Bye Bitches
I’ve been sitting with this for a while, and I think it’s time I finally say it out loud: I can’t keep running this blog anymore. When I first started, it felt like a safe place to spill the parts of me I couldn’t say anywhere else . The messy fantasies, the raw confessions, the darker corners of my brain. It was freeing at first. I thought maybe if I let it all live here, it would stop weighing me down everywhere else.
But somewhere along the way, it stopped being an outlet and started being a trap. The more I leaned into the sexual side of myself here, the more I felt like that was all people saw in me. Both here and real life. And honestly, I started to believe it too. I let myself become an object, even if only online, and it’s left me feeling hollow, detached, and disgusted with my own reflection sometimes. I can’t keep pretending that’s harmless.
I want to be seen as a whole person, not just as someone’s fantasy. I want to find softness, connection, intimacy that doesn’t leave me feeling used or broken afterwards. Keeping this blog alive keeps me stuck in the same cycle, and I don’t want to keep hurting myself for attention, validation, or distraction.
So this is goodbye. I won’t be posting here anymore. Thank you to the few people who treated me gently, who read my words without trying to take more than I offered. That mattered. But I have to choose my mental health now. I need to step away and rebuild how I see myself, outside of being sexualized.
