Girl with a Fused Sacroiliac Joint

No, I am no Iron woman. But you may call me Titanium Girl.

[girlwithafusedsijoint]

Frustrated

The frustration of not knowing what's wrong with you really kills. Radiating pain, numbness creeping back. Clear as day scans. It hurts so bad. Everyday. Yet I get comments such as 'you aren't trying hard enough.'

[girlwithafusedsijoint]

One step forward, 10 steps back

This journey isn't getting any easier. If anything, I'm getting more tired by the day. Pain still persists, I've acknowledged that it is now chronic pain. Leg still can't be lifted up. I still struggle to conquer stairs. Leg gives way ever so often. I'm starting to feel my surgeon is washing his hands off me. He's sent me to hip specialists, one seriously doubts there's anything wrong with me. He sends me to a endocrinologist. Tests were done, am only vitamin d deficient. Supplements were consumed, didn't change a thing. The radiating pain from the back to the groin is constantly there. Some days are better, some are worse. Some are so bad I just lie in bed and sob. I understand the fusion may well be a success, but I can't help but wonder if there's something else playing hide and seek with all the scanners, despite today's technological advances. Leg is still weak, physiotherapy did little to nothing to strengthen the limb, if anything it put me in more pain. It's more frustrating than ever. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the crazy one.

[girlwithafusedsijoint]

Rainy morning

Days like these make me feel extra achy.

[girlwithafusedsijoint]

Too many different opinions

I've been to many doctors. Travelled up the peninsular and even down south to Singapore. Ran so many tests that I've lost count of the number of times I had to undergo MRI scans, even one particularly horrifying Total Body Bone Scan, which made me feel extremely ill after. Even tried the traditional route, seen many chinese physicians who claim to have a cure, paid over RM1200 for a 3-week supply of medication (i suspect we were cheated there) and even went to a traditional Chinese physiotherapist to see if anything can be done... all to no avail. So, I'm now back at square one. Am still in pain, and having received a particularly uncomfortable piece of news, it has had me in tears almost all the time.

[girlwithafusedsijoint]

Late.

It's late. What's new. A year and almost three months post SI joint fusion, here I am. Talking all about it. Expect to be appalled. Bored to tears by this boring and self-absorbed narrative.