Sabrina Carpenter x fem!reader
Description: After a hard day, everything gets too much, but Sabrina will always be there for you.
Warnings: panic attack, difficulty breathing, anxiety, stress, crying, possibly depression, fluff, please lmk if I missed anything!!
Note: I based this off of how I experience panic attacks/anxiety to more accurately write, however I am completely aware how this varies from person to person so please keep that in mind. :)
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You walked home, practically dragging your feet. This day could not have gone worse. You'd been on the verge of a breakdown the entire day, you'd barely gotten anything done at work and yet you still had to shut yourself in the bathroom because you were getting too overwhelmed. The heavy feeling in your chest lingered throughout, and any little inconvenience made tears well up in your eyes. You were exhausted. You just wanted something to distract yourself from your chaotic and exhausting life.
You got home, immediately laying down on the couch and flicking through the channels. Your mind spiralled, not even paying attention to whatever was on the screen anymore, the attempt at a distraction going down the drain. You stared at the flashes of colour and shapes popping up, but none of this registered as your mind took you to a completely different place. It was as if you were paralysed. You were willing yourself to do something but the thoughts racing through your head left you stuck to the couch. Your breaths became gasps for air. Your hands and feet were losing feeling. Clothes stuck to your skin. You felt the pain rising up to your chest, becoming more and more incessant as each second passed. It felt as if your were trapped. Everything was closing in. You eyes stared at nothing. You were aware of what was happening yet you couldn't stop it.
Sabrina was locked in her office area, wrapping up a call with her team regarding her upcoming tour. She heard the front door open and close, you just got home. Once they had created a rough plan of how it would be themed, what order the setlist would be best in, and how each show would open, they decided to end things for the time being and continue it in the next couple of days. Sabrina left the meeting and stretched out in her chair, yawning. She smiled to herself, thinking about getting to perform in front of her fans again. She missed looking out into the audience and seeing the smiles on people's faces, knowing she was the one who made that happen.
She grabs her phone and empty bowl of what used to be dumplings, and takes it into the kitchen. She hums along to one of her songs 'Don't Smile', setting her phone on the bench. While rinsing the bowl, she calls out to you, asking how your day was but got no response. She frowned to herself, placing the bowl into the dishwasher. She calls out your name again and still didn't get a response. She walks into the living room and gasps softly when she sees the stage you're in. She tries to remain calm and walks over to you, grabbing your hand in hers, and sitting on the edge of the couch beside you.
"Hey, it's going to be ok baby. Just deep breaths, ok? Take your time, just nice deep breaths"
You close your eyes, feeling the tears slipping out as you try to listen to Sabrina.
"I'm here. You're here. Focus on my voice, nothing else. Ready? In, 2, 3, 4. Out 2, 3, 4."
Sabrina sets her breathing pattern, loud enough for you to try your best to mimic her.
"Just keep on breathing, baby, you've got this. This is ok. It's going to be ok."
Together you sat, breathing together. Sabrina brushed her thumb across your knuckles, trying her best to keep you in the present. She was patient with you. She knew that you just needed company for now, someone there for you.
"I'm right here for you baby. It's going to be ok."
Once the panic attack had subsided, you held on to Sabrina.
"See? Everything's going to be ok."
You held on to Sabrina tighter, letting the pent up emotion go, succumbing to the exhaustion, sobs racking through your body.
"Oh baby" she holds you, stroking your back ryhthmatically as you let it out.
"Why does everything have to be so shit?" You sob out. "Why is everything just so draining?"
"I know. I know." Sabrina kisses the top of your head. Her heart breaks more and more as she hears each sob. You didn't deserve this. You deserved to be happy and carefree.
"It's always the same thing every day. And then it's the same the next day, and the next, and the next, and the next" you take a break to catch your breath, slowly corking the tears "It's just so... exhausting"
Sabrina rubs your back, "I hear you baby. It's going to get better, I promise."
Your head falls on to her chest, listening to her words.
"I'm always here for you, ok? I'll always be here for you. Whether it's in person or a phone call, I'll always have time for you if you need me. Ok?"
You nod slightly into her. She kisses the top of your head, resting her chin on you. She rubs your back in calming patterns, swirling her finger in little circles, gently dragging her nails against your skin. A chill runs down you spine, making you shiver. Sabrina giggles softly.
"Do you want to watch a movie?"
You turn your head up and nod at her words, a slight smile creeping past your lips.
"Yeah? Ok let's do it! Ok... what about..." She scrolls through some of the rom-coms, feeling that it's definitely the move for now. "10 Things I Hate About You, for, like, the twentieth time this week?" She smiles, looking down at you.
"Well duh, that's the only correct option" You smile back, moving yourself further down on the couch so you can splay out, still resting your head in Sabrina's lap.
You heart burned, knowing how supportive and understanding Sabrina is for you. She knows you and knows what you struggle with, but she also knows what helps you and how to be there for you in the best way she can.
You looked up at her again, just watching. You were amazed that the beautiful woman in front of you was yours.
A small smile sneaks it's way past your lips when she catches you staring.
"What're you looking at?" she teases.
"I love you." Sabrina caresses your cheek.
"I love you, too." You let the warmth fill your chest, more than content. "Ok, let's watch the movie"
Sabrina let herself stare a moment longer, knowing in that moment; you were the one.
Just ignore the fact that it's been months since I last posted 🫣
