Life

This is where I go to obsess.

[git-it-got-it-good]

Yearning for Something Great

Ch. 1

Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter/ Karen Page, Frank Castle/Karen Page, past Matt Murdock/Karen Page

Mature rating, Enemies to Lovers, yearning, slow burn, depictions of violence, government-involved kidnapping, etc.

Summary:

Dex, aka Bullseye, has learned from his mistakes and dealings with the Fisks, going directly to Matt, Karen, and Foggy about Vanessa's plans. While the justice system rarely works the way it should, Dex is still looking to turn over a new leaf... and find a new North Star. Matt Murdock is too good. Frank Castle is too bad. But Karen Page fits the bill just right. When Karen and others get snatched by the AVTF in connection to Matt and Frank, it will be up to Dex, Frank, and Matt to find and rescue their friends and allies. Will Dex find what he's looking for? Will Frank ever resolve his feelings for Karen? Can Karen move past her failed relationship with Matt and her guilt over her own mistakes? Will the Fisks take out everyone in their way?

He had spent a lifetime watching. Watching people and landscapes. Families, friends, strangers, coworkers…lovers. He studied how they behaved and how they moved about their tiny little slices of the world.

Today, he watched a lady feed the stray cat that lived outside his apartment building. Every few days she would give the orange and white long-haired cat a slice of lunchmeat or a half of a can of tuna. The way the cat and the lady reacted to each other reminded him of people meeting together on their lunch break; sharing stories and basking in their mutual connection. He envied even that miniscule of a relationship. 

God, I’m pathetic sometimes…

After the cat retreated to some corner of its tiny world to take a nap and the lady went about her own business, Dex remembered he had somewhere to be. He had to clock in for his job as Karen Page’s shadow.

Why Karen Page?

Some part of him was still curious about her; another, much larger and important part of him wanted what she was almost willing and capable of giving to two men just as messed up as him. Patience, empathy, compassion, friendship…love. 

Dex had seen it. They way she looked at Frank Castle and Matt Murdock. The glow in her luminous blue eyes. She knew how they felt. She knew what they needed and she gave it to them. Embraces, trusting glances, and partnership on missions. She held Frank and Matt together and they never had to ask her to do it. Karen did what she did out of some sort of unconditional love. And Dex wanted that more than anything.

He wanted to belong to someone. Most especially, Dex wanted to belong to Karen. He wanted her trust, her attention, her spirit. If a killing machine like Frank Castle and a goody-two-shoes like Matt Murdock could have Karen’s loyalty, why couldn’t he? That was something Dex was willing to do anything to find out.

I just have to get close enough to see it… to see the truth behind Karen’s soul. To find out what I need to do to get her to take me in. I want her to show me what to do with myself and my life. To guide me to my life’s purpose….to be my North Star….

Dex prepped his gear. He realized early on in his tenure as Bullseye that nobody really noticed what he was wearing as long as he looked like he owned his space in the world. He wore his nondescript gray baseball jacket over his costume and hid his mask in the oversized pocket in his cargo pants. 

He wore his plain black baseball hat and stepped outside his apartment and down the stairs. Mrs. Smithers didn’t pop out to say hello. Her novelas were on and she rarely missed them.

Dex walked over to his stake out spot near Nelson, Murdock, and Page. Foggy Nelson was in the crosshairs of Dex’s scope when Karen appeared in view of the window behind Nelson’s desk.

She wore a navy woven dress and had her hair up in a messy bun. Karen was emphatically gesturing at the papers on the desk as Foggy wiped a tired hand over his face and solemnly nodded along with her argument.

It had been months since the night Dex had appeared on the doorstep of Nelson, Murdock, and Page claiming to know about Vanessa Fisk’s plan to have Foggy murdered. And how Dex was supposed to be the one to do it for her.

After what happened with Julie and the chaos that ensued at the Fisk’s wedding, Dex had let Vanessa begin to weave her web of intrigues, intending on letting her hang herself in it. Dex had learned a lot in his time healing from his shattered spine and marinating his psyche in a heavy cocktail of psych meds at the facility. 

All Dex needed now was to get the dirt he had on Vanessa Fisk into the right hands. 

When Dex was let into the main room of the law office, Murdock had immediately played Devil’s Advocate, patiently explaining to Karen and Foggy that since Dex stepped forward before actually doing the deed, they all owed Dex the benefit of the doubt. Foggy was more than hesitant to trust Dex, and Karen watched as the two men argued over what to do with Dex’s case.

Dex could see the mistrust written in her body language. Echoes of her own run-ins with him must have been playing in her mind. 

Dex holding her at gunpoint. Dex murdering most of Karen’s coworkers at the Bulletin. Dex almost getting his hands on her during her arrest in the church so that he could personally deliver her corpse to Wilson Fisk. 

Dex saw it all flash across her face, her hand nervously running through her hair, pacing around the room. But then, Karen suddenly took on a stance of resolve and flashed Dex that stubborn look of defiance. 

“Come and get me, asshole…”

Dex admired her courage. Few people could meet his eye on a good day, and here Karen was, staring him down like a lioness. It took the breath out of his lungs when she didn’t back down. After those first few moments of uncertainty, Karen Page seemed to promise to herself that she’d never be intimidated by Benjamin Poindexter ever again.

As Nelson and Murdock strategized, Karen made calls, took notes and statements, did research, and called in a favor. 

“Frank, I wouldn’t ask this of you if I didn’t think it was important or was something you weren’t able to handle…” Karen sighed into the phone in her hands. She seemed agitated to have to call in a favor.

After a moment of silence on the phone, Frank told her he’d be there in ten minutes. Karen looked over at Dex as if to say, You better be worth this.

Eight minutes later, Frank Castle knocked on the door and came face-to-face with Dex. Frank’s hard, brown eyes sized up Dex and softened when they fell on Karen.

“Hey, stranger, didn’t think you’d come…” Karen embraced Frank, his face moulding perfectly into her loose, silky blonde hair. Frank closed his eyes and sank into her shoulder.

Matt and Foggy looked at each other in a mild state of shock. Who knew the big, bad Punisher was capable of hugging anyone any more?

“Karen, you know I owe you one from before. This makes us even.” Frank seemed hesitant to break his hold on Karen, but did so quickly when he noticed how closely Dex was watching them.

“So, Red and the rest of them want me to keep an eye on you? Thought you were less than amenable to doing anyone any favors, Bullseye.” Frank crossed his arms and leaned on Karen’s desk. 

“I’m here to make things right. Did a lot of bad shit while being on the Fisk’s leash and they played me all the same. I’m not eager to repeat the performance.” Dex met Frank’s eyes. 

Frank sneered at that. “Yeah, I heard you went after Karen and Matt. Now, altar boy can more than handle himself, but I want you to know that if you go after Karen again, I won’t let you live long enough to testify.”

Matt began to step forward to defend Dex and protect the case, but Dex held up a hand to stop him. “Karen has nothing to fear from me. I need her. And besides… if I remember correctly, she gave me a run for my money in the church.”

Frank turned to raise his eyebrow at Karen. “You hiding something from me, Karen?”

Karen sighed and met Dex’s eyes. “You were going after Matt and me. I wasn’t going to let it be easy for you.”

Dex chuckled. “It wasn’t easy.”

“Good,” Karen huffed. “You killed Father Lantom.”

Dex sighed and cranked his neck in frustration. “I did kill him. I have no excuses. I killed Father Lantom because I could.” Dex met her eyes, but his voice was unavoidably flat; it was something he did when he could barely tolerate himself telling the truth.

I also killed Father Lantom because I couldn’t kill you. Dex had kept that part to himself.

Karen reared back at Dex’s bluntness but surged forward with hatred and tears in her eyes. Matt intercepted her, pulling her into an embrace that seemed to pacify her. “Don’t, Karen. Father Lantom wouldn’t want you to lose yourself. Besides, we need him.”

After a moment to collect herself, Karen gained some distance across the room and stared coldly at the wall to keep herself from staring daggers into Dex.

“So… I babysit the psycho and you build a case against the Fisks? This is going to be the highlight of my week.” Frank put himself between Karen and Dex. 

“That’s the gist, yeah. But you calling him a psycho? Isn’t that a bit hypocritical?” Foggy began to nonchalantly write out a set of notes and blithely looked up to gauge Frank’s reaction.

“Touche.” Frank let Karen give him a soft, meaningful sidelong glance. They touched one last time before Frank barked, “All right, Bullseye, let’s go. You’re spending the night with me.”

Dex gave a nod to Matt and Foggy, and looked expectantly at Karen. She met his eyes but didn’t smile. “Thank you for doing this for me. I don’t deserve it but I want to make up for all I’ve done. I want you to know that having my mind and body broken may not be nearly what I deserve for killing Father Lantom alone, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to learn to be better from you all. The people I killed deserve justice from the Fisks… and from me.”

Karen seemed to soften for a moment but hardened again when Frank cleared his throat expectantly. “You got your work cut out for you, Dex, but I wish you the best of luck.” Karen dismissed Dex by turning her attention back to Matt and Foggy.

Eight months went by and the trial was a success… for the most part. Vanessa was found guilty of facilitating a potential hit on Foggy using Dex, but because of some orchestrated technicality, she was given some white collar sentencing; fines, probation, house arrest, and a short stay at a ritzy rehab center of sorts. 

Hardly what she needed or deserved.

All that hard work… for nothing.

Matt seemed disappointed but unphased. Foggy was irate, a rare occurrence for him. And Karen… she looked to Dex during sentencing. Something in her eyes seemed to concede that Dex’s testimony was wasted. That maybe Dex and Frank’s way of handling justice should have been considered during this particular case. Would the world be better off with two less Fisks in it? Would their deaths truly balance the scales of justice?

Dex smiled at the memory of Karen’s shared thread of understanding. In the depths of her true blue eyes in that packed courtroom, he saw an ideal version of himself reflected back at him. A soulful mirror he had been missing since he lost Julie to Fisk. 

In that moment, when their eyes met, Dex felt a comatose bolt of inspiration rise in his chest. Karen brought out a desire to do good. To be good. Even if it meant doing bad things to get those good results.

Karen’s statuesque figure filled the sight in Dex’s scope. She was so animated with her body and her voice that it broke Dex’s heart every time he parted from his view of her living her life. One minute, arguing and passionate about her work and values; the next, laughing and silly with Foggy and the newly on-boarded Kirsten. Or, in the rare times, quiet and tender with Matt or Frank.

Dex wished he was worthy of Karen’s tenderness. He had relished Julie’s softness in the few moments he had had with her. But now Dex saw another opportunity with Karen.

You better get used to having her from a distance, Dex. That’s all she’ll be to you. A mirage of an oasis in a desert of suffering… The hard, grating voice of his disappointment echoed in Dex’s mind.

NO. I will have her true blue eyes on me again. I will feel the connection we have again. A taste of his dormant wild desires surged up to combat his practicality. 

Having Karen Page in his life was not in the realm of impossibility. All Dex had to do was to find an opportunity to see her again.

As Dex continued to watch Karen, AVTF officers gathered on the street below. Dex counted five SUVs full of them storm into the lobby of Nelson, Murdock, and Page’s office building and make their way up to where Karen, Foggy, and Kirsten were working.

Busting in and toppling desks and stacks of papers, the AVTF roughly bagged and tagged Karen, Foggy, and Kirsten before hauling them down to the two armored vehicles that had later joined the five SUVs. 

Powell smugly shoved a mouthy Foggy into the back of one while Cole took Karen and Kirsten to the other.

Dex could only watch as the armored vehicles drove away, doing his best to memorize details of them before they disappeared around the corner.

Eyeing the AVTF officers, he picked an SUV of them to tail. If he couldn’t directly get to Karen, he knew one of them would know where she was.

Notes: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS

[git-it-got-it-good]

Yearning for Something Great

Ch. 6

Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter/ Karen Page, Frank Castle/Karen Page, past Matt Murdock/Karen Page

Mature rating, Enemies to Lovers, yearning, slow burn, depictions of violence, government-involved kidnapping, etc.

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4 Ch. 5

Summary:

Dex, aka Bullseye, has learned from his mistakes and dealings with the Fisks, going directly to Matt, Karen, and Foggy about Vanessa's plans. While the justice system rarely works the way it should, Dex is still looking to turn over a new leaf... and find a new North Star. Matt Murdock is too good. Frank Castle is too bad. But Karen Page fits the bill just right. When Karen and others get snatched by the AVTF in connection to Matt and Frank, it will be up to Dex, Frank, and Matt to find and rescue their friends and allies. Will Dex find what he's looking for? Will Frank ever resolve his feelings for Karen? Can Karen move past her failed relationship with Matt and her guilt over her own mistakes? Will the Fisks take out everyone in their way?

Dex roamed the aisles of the nearest CVS looking for shampoo for Karen. He could always tell her apart from most other women simply by the smell of her hair. Dr. Mercer smelled like plain lotion, Julie smelled like vanilla, and Karen smelled fruity. 

Putting the shampoo bottle’s cap close to his nose, Dex found as close a brand and scent as he could before moving on to toothpaste.

Dex managed to find all the items he needed to get for Karen as well as a flimsy, cheap duffel bag to carry it all in once they made their escape from Manhattan tomorrow. 

Dex pictured the smile on Karen’s face when she saw all the thought and care he had put into making this whole process easier for her. She might even let her guard down a little once they were out of the city.

My parent’s old cabin in the mountains is calling our name… Dex thought as the dead eyed clerk rang up his purchases and bagged them all. 

As Dex began his walk back to his apartment, he thought about what he and Karen would do all by themselves up in nature. Is Karen someone who just enjoys hiking or camping? Maybe she would like to learn how to fish or hunt?

Dex only knew how to hunt and fish from the trips the boys home he grew up in would host every summer. The guides who mentored Dex and the other boys were less than able to handle all the emotional baggage that came with each boy, but the adults were more than willing to pass down their skills and knowledge. Dex was a sponge for all the facts about tracking and survival. Add these skills to the ones he learned in the army and Dex was more than prepared to spend ample time up in the mountains surrounded by nature.

Dex was daydreaming of helping Karen hold up his rifle to practice aiming when a large, black, unmarked van drove past. Dex knew that van by reputation and knew the driver by the carnage that he left behind. Frank Castle and his Murder Van.

Dex could feel Frank’s dark eyes scan the street but by some miracle, Frank didn’t seem to notice Dex standing in the small collection of people milling around at this hour of early morning. Dex fit right in with people coming off of night shift or heading into work at this ungodly time.

The van drove past and Dex exhaled as he crossed the street and headed up into the vestibule of his apartment building. Goddamn but that was a close one…

Dex jingled his keys so that he could give Karen plenty of time before he managed to open the door. What Dex saw next partially melted some of subconscious frigidness in his heart; Karen curled up asleep on his bed. Her hair spread out on his blanket and pillows, her long limbs relaxed, and her face held a serene calmness that had been absent when she was awake.

As promised, as soon as he set down all of the things he bought for her, Dex went over and gingerly removed the manacle and chain from Karen’s ankle. In her sleep, Karen sighed and stretched out as if sensing her minor freedom being returned to her.

Dex sat on the loveseat and watched her sleep for what felt like hours. Eventually, he too succumbed to dozing off and so the two enemies slept in each other’s company peacefully.

Frank was in full freak out mode now. He had been circling the island of Manhattan all night trying to find any and all clues as to Karen’s whereabouts. Frank almost envied psychic mutants and magic-wielders for their ability to call out telepathically to people. If he could, Frank’s mind would be screaming Karen’s name.

Where are you, woman? Goddammit, if you’re dead… I’ll– I’ll… Frank couldn’t think that way. Karen was alive. There was something in the way Bullseye had taken her that indicated that Karen wasn’t dead and that she wouldn’t be dead for a while yet.

But if she pushes his buttons… if she eggs him on… oh, god… Frank could see Karen trying to act all big and tough. She had done it to him at the beginning of their acquaintance. She had pushed all kinds of verbal glass into his old wounds. She and Maria had that in common. They knew just where to hit Frank where it hurt most and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Because he knew they were right. 

But for all that Frank and Dex had in common, patience and a moral code were not entirely similar. Frank was overly protective with women and children. Dex couldn’t care less about anyone. Frank killed people who were criminals and corrupt. Dex killed for fun. Frank and Dex were not the same… not at all.

Frank had to have hope that Dex was somehow going to treat Karen differently. She was a useful bargaining chip against Frank and Matt and even Foggy. The Bulletin even still had ties to her. Her life still meant something to people.

But then Frank remembered the way Dex was during the trial of Vanessa Fisk. Out of all the lawyers and their associates, Dex only really talked and was genial with Karen. Frank remembered how Dex quietly studied how Karen talked with Matt and him. Dex watched how Karen and Frank looked at each other and all the tender moments they shared when they thought no one would notice. How, above all others, Frank (and, to some extent, Matt) listened to and respected Karen. Karen was their guiding light when times were darkest.

Then it hit Frank like a ton of bricks. 

Jesus Christ… Frank thought. Dex found a new North Star.

Matt had made Frank privy to a lot of Dex’s details. The traumatic childhood. The death of his parents. The killings of the animals and his little league baseball coach. The childhood therapist. The time in the military and the FBI. The suicide hotline and the Julie woman. The corruption of Dex by the Fisks. 

It all made sense now. Maybe it was a bad thing that Frank’s mind was twisted enough to follow Dex’s logic, but the reasoning was sound. Dex had taken Karen purely out of some kind of sick want rather than out of outright maliciousness towards Matt or Frank.

Frank was comforted to know that Karen was by all accounts likely alive, but now the stakes were higher. Dex wanted something more out of Karen than Frank had initially realized.

Would Dex go that far…? Was he that kind of sick? Frank didn’t want to think about what Dex was capable of if he wasn’t in the killing mood. As far as Frank knew, Dex had little to no interest in sexual violence.

There was every hope that Karen was alive and unharmed. All she had to do was be smart and not push her luck by opening her big mouth. 

Wherever you are, Karen, stay safe… stay smart. I’m coming for you no matter what. 

Matt’s phone rang while he waited on the roof of the police station. It was Foggy.

“Matt, thank god!” Foggy’s panicked voice was a warm relief.

“Foggy, you’re all right? How is everyone? Karen? Kirsten?” Matt rushed out the questions, drinking in the glorious sound of Foggy’s ragged breaths.

“Kirsten and I are fine. We have a shit ton of people from the makeshift detention center here in Red Hook all packed like sardines in an armored vehicle. We’re gonna find a safehouse.” Foggy rushed out the words and Matt could make out the quiet voices of lots of people in a confined space in the background of the call.

“Foggy, that’s the best news I’ve heard so far but what about Karen?” Matt’s hands were shaking as he noticed how Foggy was avoiding saying anything about Karen.

“Look, Matt… Bullseye got here first. He killed all the AVTF he could find and he took Karen. He left us all locked up until Frank came and let us out. Frank left to go after Karen and Bullseye. We have no idea where any of them are or if they’re okay. I’m sorry, Matt.” Foggy sounded like he was on the verge of tears. Karen meant a great deal to him and having to watch her get dragged away by Bullseye was apparently really traumatic for him.

“Foggy, there was nothing you could have done. You’ve saved a lot of people tonight. I’m proud of you. I’m going after them. Let me know when you find a safe place to be and I’ll come find you. Be safe.” Matt left the call as Foggy sputtered out a goodbye.

Before Matt could even fathom a beginning to his search, an unknown number dialed his phone. Matt answered the call. 

“Red, I’ve got bad news and a bad theory about what’s going on.” Frank’s voice was raw and Matt could tell this was extremely serious to have Frank Castle worried.

“Give it to me, Frank. You know I can take it.” Matt was no stranger to bad or serious things.

“Bullseye has Karen and my theory is that she’s his new North Star.” Frank said with a certainty that put a chill down Matt’s spine. 

“You’re sure? He doesn’t have her just to mess with us?” Matt wouldn’t put it past Dex to have Karen just to mess with him and Frank. Much like a cat, Dex played with his prey on more than one occasion.

“No, I’m pretty damn sure he has her because he wants her for more than just to fuck with us. Remember how closely he watched us all together during the Vanessa Fisk trial? He wants what we have with her. Karen is our moral support and Dex wants that more than anything on this planet. He wants someone to be there for him.” Frank spoke with such authority, Matt thought that Frank had been told this by Dex himself.

“Dammit,” Matt said. “He’s got her holed up somewhere? Have you found it yet?”

“Yeah, he has to have her stashed somewhere.  And no,” Frank replied. “I’m driving around as we speak looking for any sign of them. Just thought I’d let you know.”

“Thanks, Frank. And thank you for saving Foggy, Kirsten, and the rest. They’re finding a safehouse as we speak.” Matt knew Frank probably didn’t care, but the appreciation was all the same.

“No problem. I’ll call you if there’s an update.” Frank said before he cut off the call. A man of few words… Matt thought.

[git-it-got-it-good]

Yearning for Something Great

Ch. 5

Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter/ Karen Page, Frank Castle/Karen Page, past Matt Murdock/Karen Page

Mature rating, Enemies to Lovers, yearning, slow burn, depictions of violence, government-involved kidnapping, etc.

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4

Summary:

Dex, aka Bullseye, has learned from his mistakes and dealings with the Fisks, going directly to Matt, Karen, and Foggy about Vanessa's plans. While the justice system rarely works the way it should, Dex is still looking to turn over a new leaf... and find a new North Star. Matt Murdock is too good. Frank Castle is too bad. But Karen Page fits the bill just right. When Karen and others get snatched by the AVTF in connection to Matt and Frank, it will be up to Dex, Frank, and Matt to find and rescue their friends and allies. Will Dex find what he's looking for? Will Frank ever resolve his feelings for Karen? Can Karen move past her failed relationship with Matt and her guilt over her own mistakes? Will the Fisks take out everyone in their way?

Dex and Karen ate their dinner facing each other at the small table that looked into the kitchen from the semi-circle window. Dex was slow to eat, expectantly  watching every microexpression on Karen’s face as she savored the food.

He’s watching me like he expects I’m going to start yelling complaints at him. Jesus, this guy is damaged. Karen felt bad for Dex in a lot of ways. Always feeling like he needed to cater to the needs of the people he looked up to in order to feel acceptance. Or he was mercilessly cold and cruel to the people he looked down on.

Karen was enjoying the meal. Perfectly cooked and seasoned, the “Marry Me Chicken” would be living up to its name if Karen and Dex actually were a real romantic couple. But they weren’t; they were something else entirely.

Karen also noticed how good the wine was too. As she looked at the label, she realized this was the brand she would splurge on when she needed the extra incentive to make it through the week. He couldn’t have guessed this…

“The wine’s great! Where did you get it?” Karen played dumb to see Dex’s reaction.

“I saw you get it a few times when you were out shopping. I noticed how you acted when you picked it up off the shelf… like you were secreting some sort of luxury into your cart. I knew you probably would need it.” Dex smirked at his own thoughtfulness.

“That’s very sweet of you. Thank you!” Karen especially laid into her charm.

“You’re welcome, Karen. Speaking of things you want or need… I want you to know that I can get those for you. Just write them on a list or something and I can run out and buy it. I want you to be comfortable here.” Dex shrugged at the gesture but something in him was thrilled at the thought of providing for Karen. He had brought “Rabbit in a Snowstorm” to the Fisks, killing its former owner, and something in him had been enthusiastic to be of service to someone… anyone.

Karen seemed hesitant at first at the offer, but she also seemed mildly impressed that he would go to any length at all for her. She still remembered her place as his hostage, but he seemed to almost immediately forget his role as her captor.

“I could use some basics… hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, shampoo, deodorant, and some clothes…. All I brought is the clothes on my back.” She hoped his errands would give her enough time to escape or to call for help. Both would be ideal.

“Just name the brand and other details and they’re yours. I’ll go out once I tuck you in for the night—or early morning… It’s around 2am right now.” Dex finished his meal once he noticed Karen was done with hers.

“I hope you’re joking about the tucking in part, Dex.” Karen huffed a laugh as Dex cleared the plates.

“I’m only half joking, Karen. I gotta make sure you’re not leaving and nobody is coming in. You’ll see once I show you the sleeping arrangements.” Dex motioned for Karen to finish her drink and head over to the full sized bed. Karen obeyed but that was before she saw Dex fish out a manacle and a long chain from under the bed. 

“You’re seriously going to chain me to the bed like I’m some sort of animal?!” Karen shrieked before edging as far away from the bed as she could.

“Please, Karen, don’t pretend like we can completely trust each other yet. I showed you that you could trust me and now it’s your turn to do the same. I need to run errands for our trip and you need to rest. I can’t rely on you to not just leave once you’re out of my sight,” Dex reasoned.

“But why do I need to be chained? I don’t get why I get treated like a prisoner and you get to prance around like I’m the crazy one!” Karen maintained her position before Dex began a slow advance in her direction. He had her cornered, his body between her and the door. All he needed to do was wrestle or reason her to the bed.

“Please, Karen, don’t make this harder than it needs to be. We had that great dinner and we just started to get to really know each other. All I need you to do is wear this while I’m out, then when I get back, I’ll take it off. It’s that simple.”

“Get the fuck away from me! I’m not doing it!” Karen saw her opening and rushed to the door knowing she was going to only have inches to spare to stay out of Dex’s grasp.

Dex’s reflexes won the moment when he was able to catch Karen’s wrist and use her momentum to pull her off her course and fling her onto the floor near the bed. Pushing his bodyweight on top of her to pin her long enough to manacle her ankle, Dex stood up out of breath. It was altogether a process that took about as much time as hog tying a farm animal.

“See? Was that so hard?” Dex said as Karen laid on the ground, refusing to look up at him. “I didn’t hurt you, right? Karen?”

After she wouldn’t move or answer him for several minutes, Dex moved to help her up onto the bed. Karen lashed back with a screech, “Get your fucking hands off me!”

Dex backed off immediately. “Look, I’m sorry it has to be this way… I just… I don’t trust you not to run away, Karen. I thought you would understand that you would have to make some compromises with me.” Dex’s eyes projected hurt but his voice was still that drab monotone that grated on Karen’s nerves.

“Compromises? Trust? Do you even know what those mean, Dex?” Karen spat in a venomous tone. “My compromise was being kidnapped, not cooperating with you chaining me up like some pet so I don’t run away. If you love me the way you say you do, I shouldn’t be the only one compromising things like my freedom.”

Dex huffed in frustration. She doesn’t see how this is the only way I can make sure she’s safe while she’s out of my sight. I bet Matt and Frank didn’t nearly care about Karen enough to make sure she was safely out of the way somewhere. They probably just let her do whatever she wanted… including putting herself in danger!

Dex watched her as she sat on the bed, the movement of the chain rattled when she moved her ankle. “Karen, I need you to understand that this is the only way I can guarantee your safety while I run errands. Frank and Matt weren’t nearly as caring about you as I am. I don’t want you facing the AVTF or any of Fisk’s cronies. You are safest here where no one can find you except me.”

“I don’t care what you want for me. I care about what scraps of normalcy I can get when I’m stuck with you.” Karen saw how those words bit into Dex. She saw the flinch in his face and the impatient ways he opened and closed his hands. 

Careful, Karen… don’t be surprised if he flips out on you… you’re pushing too hard. Think with your brain, not your ego on this one. Karen’s mind reminded her.

In the surprise of the century, it was Dex that offered an apology first, kneeling near Karen’s feet with his head bowed over her lap. “Please, Karen… please… just trust me. All I’m asking is that you wear it while I’m out. I need you safe… not like what happened with Julie. I couldn’t save Dr. Mercer because of her cancer but I could have saved Julie if I didn’t let her out of my sight. She died because of me and I won’t let you die the same way.”

Karen still seethed in anger but Dex wasn’t leaving until she acknowledged him. He inched closer and dropped his head in her lap like some sort of guard dog looking for compassion from its owner. I’m the only pet here, Dex thought. If she only knew what I had to do to get to this point…. How much I’ve suffered and how much I’ve sacrificed… She’d understand why it has to be this way. She’d understand what she has to do too. 

Dex could tell Karen was still worked up, gauging her options. As much as she wanted to hit him and continue to break his heart, Dex knew Karen still needed him. All she had to do was put aside her ego and accept this condition that he was forcing on their budding relationship.

God, you’re so pathetic, Dex… Karen’s malicious side sneered. But Karen had to give it to him… he certainly knew how to manipulate. Of course, they both were trying to see who could out-manipulate the other. For Karen, it was about survival; for Dex, it was about finding a new person to use as a metaphorical safety blanket. 

Karen decided to bite the bullet and gently carded her hands through Dex’s hair as his face and shoulders slumped languorously onto her lap. If there’s one thing Karen learned about Dex, it’s that he couldn’t resist her gentle touch.

Dex hummed a response to her touch and after several minutes rubbed his cheek over her clothed thigh and raised his head to look up at her. “I won’t be gone more than a couple of hours. Please just stay here and I’ll bring you whatever you want or need. Even that coffee and danish you like so much from White Noise.” 

Karen had to relent for now. Lose the battle so that you can win the war, Karen.

“All right. I’ll stay… But know this, Dex… I hate being chained up like this.” Karen emphasized her aversion to this whole arrangement he cooked up for her.

“I understand, Karen. I’m going to make it up to you… just trust me.” Dex took Karen’s hand and kissed her palm as if he had never touched another human in his whole life and was surprised at his own gentleness. “Just rest and I’ll be back before you know it.”

Before she could get the nerve to continue arguing, Dex had grabbed a few things and was out the door. Karen looked around before standing and walking to test the length of the chain. Just as she suspected, it was only long enough to reach the bathroom; the bed frame was bolted to the floor and the wall. 

GODDAMNIT.

Seeing nothing but misery if she stayed awake, Karen curled up on Dex’s bed and fell asleep hoping that by the time she woke up Matt or Frank had found her.

[git-it-got-it-good]

Yearning for Something Great

Ch. 4

Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter/ Karen Page, Frank Castle/Karen Page, past Matt Murdock/Karen Page

Mature rating, Enemies to Lovers, yearning, slow burn, depictions of violence, government-involved kidnapping, etc.

Summary:

Dex, aka Bullseye, has learned from his mistakes and dealings with the Fisks, going directly to Matt, Karen, and Foggy about Vanessa's plans. While the justice system rarely works the way it should, Dex is still looking to turn over a new leaf... and find a new North Star. Matt Murdock is too good. Frank Castle is too bad. But Karen Page fits the bill just right. When Karen and others get snatched by the AVTF in connection to Matt and Frank, it will be up to Dex, Frank, and Matt to find and rescue their friends and allies. Will Dex find what he's looking for? Will Frank ever resolve his feelings for Karen? Can Karen move past her failed relationship with Matt and her guilt over her own mistakes? Will the Fisks take out everyone in their way?

Karen found Dex’s apartment to be a sad place. Almost as sad as Frank’s place, but this was an easy competitor for “Worst Interior Design by a Mentally Ill Adult Man” Award.

There was a loveseat in the middle of the room and a full sized bed jutting out from the wall on the side away from the window or the door. The kitchen was quaint and had an arched window that peaked into the main room. The TV console was set at an odd angle near the window and oriented to face the loveseat. There were no pictures on the wall; no personality besides plain and sad.

“Very cozy,” Karen said mostly to herself. She didn’t really expect Dex to really care what she thought or said.

“Yeah, it’s nice to come back to after a hard day.” Dex shot her a small smile and walked her over to the loveseat.

“So…Dex,” Karen said once she was settled. “How’s this going to work? Hang out here until Fisk or the AVTF finds us? Or Matt? Or Frank?” 

Dex pulled his lip up into a slightly contemplative half-smile. “This is only a resting place for the next day or two. I’ve got a plan to get us out of Manhattan all together. At least until Matt or Fisk or Frank or the AVTF all kill each other off. Then we’ll settle into whatever version of New York is left once they’re done with it.”

Now that really puts a damper on Karen’s plan to just wait out Dex’s level of crazy until Matt or Frank could get a bead on them. How the hell am I going to be able to get ahold of Matt or Frank without Mr. Watches-Me-Like-A-Hawk noticing what I’m doing?

It would be impossible unless she knew what kind of schedule he keeps. Which would actually be a great question to ask him. “I imagine you kept yourself pretty busy after the shitshow that was Mrs. Fisk’s trial. What do you do for fun?”

Karen’s relaxed body language was encouraging, but Dex knew she was smarter than the average person when it came to getting out of sticky situations. She was trying to sus something out from him. He just had to figure out what it was.

“I–uh–exercise quite a bit. Running, push-ups, the occasional free yoga lessons in the park. I cook a lot. And I like people-watching.” Dex noticed Karen shift a little uncomfortably on the last thing he said. 

“People-watching?” Karen echoed. 

“Yeah. It helps me identify what I’m lacking in my life and be happy with what I have. Y’know…Kids reuniting with their parents and taking a walk home from school. Old people meeting in the park for chess or cards, just to talk and catch up. The homeless man outside on the stoop with the missing left hand. I heard he was a war vet or something. No family… real sad.”

Karen nodded along and had a hard time meeting his eye for a moment, lost in some sort of thought. Finally, she asked a question as blunt as the one Dex had asked her before, “Have you been watching me?”

Dex beamed for the first time in a long time. “Of course, Karen. I knew exactly when the AVTF took you. That’s why you didn’t have to wait very long in that cage.” 

Karen raised her brows in surprise and offered a smile back in a reflective manner. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Karen remembered that mirroring someone’s genial behavior was a subconscious way to show your nonthreatening side. Like how enemies can laugh at the same pitch to diffuse a situation. At least, it was either in that psychology textbook she read to prepare for Frank’s trial or it was in one of those spaghetti westerns she was watching a few months ago. Karen was hoping it was working.

“Thank you for your thoughtfulness, Dex.” Karen awkwardly put a hand on his shoulder.

Dex froze for a moment, his eyes going a bit wide and unfocused. Karen moved to retract her hand and Dex’s reflexes lashed out to place his hand on hers to keep her from moving it away from where it was.

Karen jumped at his sudden movement but she didn’t outright bolt off the loveseat. They both froze, almost like they were scared to startle each other.

After a few minutes, Dex let up his hand and Karen retreated. “I’m sorry, Karen. That was the first time someone’s touched me nicely in a long time. I had to savor it when I had it.”

“Uh—no problem, Dex. I can sympathize.” Karen met Dex’s eyes and his hazel irises seemed to project a kind of congenial contentment that she had not thought was possible in a man as ruthless as him.

Dex stood up and made his way to the kitchen. “Are you hungry, Karen? Can I tempt you with anything?” Dex was relaxed, in his element… calm. Yes, finally. Dex thought.

“Yeah, I could eat.” Karen wasn’t going to complain about this tenuous truce.

“Good. I’d like to make you something, Karen. Something special.”

“Is it a surprise?” Karen leaned her body so that she could look through the window into the kitchen.

“Not really. I have the makings for something I learned from one of my squadmates in the Army. It’s called ‘Marry Me Chicken.’ It’s a common enough recipe.” Dex began preparing the meat and the skillet.

Karen let out a hesitant laugh. “Anyone tell you you’re forward, Mr. Poindexter?” 

“Not in the way you’re thinking, Ms. Page. I’m not usually interested in people the way I’m interested in you. What I feel is…uh—more complicated than what most men feel about anyone of the opposite sex. In other words… I don’t really see you that… way….right now….” Dex felt lame trying to put into words what was simmering in his soul. It was like his confrontation with Julie all over again. But at least he was being honest with himself… and with Karen.

“So you’re not interested in the physical aspect of a man and woman dynamic? Like no sexual interest in me at all?” Karen could see Dex being uncomfortable with sex but not completely uninterested. He would be a rare one indeed if he was completely uninterested in that aspect of humanity.

“Well, uh—let’s just say that even though you are aesthetically stunning… I don’t see you as someone I have a lot of sexual lust over. What I feel for you is something closer to what someone would feel about their favorite classical music piece. At certain parts of a symphony, you become so enraptured that thoughts of sex go out the window and what’s left behind is something more transcending. Deep. Meaningful. Profound.” Dex felt a better rhythm to his cooking and voicing his thoughts now that her eyes were on him and he could tell she was actively listening to him.

“So I’m your own personal symphony?” Karen had been called many things but a work of musical genius was not one of them.

“Yeah, I guess you are…” Dex met her eyes as he finished stirring the ingredients together as they simmered in the skillet.

“That’s actually rather refreshing. Most men I’ve ever dealt with can never separate their libido from their daily thoughts long enough to have a productive conversation.” 

Karen fidgeted with her hands and looked back up at Dex. “I read somewhere that the Greeks defined love by eight categories; storge or familial love, agape or selfless love, eros or romantic and sexual love, ludus or playful love, pragma or enduring love, philia or friendship derived love, philautia or self-love, and mania or obsessive love.”

Dex stopped looking down at his cooking and listened to Karen intently. 

“Would you be able to narrow down your feelings about Julie or your therapist or me to any of those terms?” Karen was throwing a long line out to Dex seeing what he would bite at and what kind of sense she could make of his behavior.

Dex didn’t say anything for several minutes. He quietly and methodically finished preparing the food for the oven, set a timer, and brought out a bottle of wine and two glasses. He poured one for himself and one for Karen. 

Dex met her eyes and stared into the true blue depths before answering. “Dr. Mercer was as close to having a real female family member as I am ever going to get. She was kind and sincere. She cared about me being independent and successful. She was like an aunt or a mother. I guess storge would be what I felt about her.”

Karen took a sip of her wine but didn’t take her eyes from Dex. “Julie was sweet and generous with her time. She cared deeply about the people around her. I wanted to be her friend so badly. She was so bright and effervescent. I watched her because I wanted to protect her and I wanted to bask in her light. I guess philia would be what I felt about her.”

Dex’s measured tone was warmer now, his honesty tinting his voice with something akin to authenticity. Dex’s vulnerable side sounded almost human. Karen could work with human. More importantly, Karen could sympathize with human.

“What I feel for you… I feel like I could trust you. Being around you makes me want to be honest with myself.” Dex was animated for the first time. “You might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me!” 

Dex noticed Karen’s surprise and quieted his reactions. “I can tell you’re scared of me and I don’t blame you. I still haven’t proven who I am to you or given you reasons enough to feel safe around me. But something about you seems to feel so irresistibly familiar and safe. That’s what I’m drawn to.”

Dex set down his wine and sat closer to Karen. Karen didn’t want to break the calm that had been established between them so she didn’t back away like she wanted to. “You’re a lot stronger than Dr. Mercer and Julie in a lot of ways, but you are still capable of being tender and open. I see you feeling so deeply about everything but it’s something you use to armor yourself rather than as a weapon against yourself. I admire that. I want you to teach me how to do that. So I guess I feel both pragma and mania about you because now that we’re together, I can’t ever let you go. To let you go would be to lose any hope I have of living a sane life. You hold me together just by being yourself.”

And there it is… Karen thought to herself. She did appreciate Dex being honest but the crux of this whole ordeal was Dex’s inability to separate himself from his obsession. Once he had his sights set on someone or something, there was no option other than to let him have it, kill him, or to show him something better to glom onto.

Karen slid what she hoped was a shy smile on her face and placed a comforting hand on Dex’s shoulder. From how he reacted to the gesture earlier, she thought of it as a reward for his generosity and honesty. And his lack of violence… Karen’s mind added.

She was correct at the assumption of her touch being a reward. As soon as her hand’s warm weight touched down on his body, Dex’s mind was flooded with endorphins. “Please…” Dex choked out.

Karen’s brows knitted in confusion until Dex took Karen’s hand and brought her palm up to cup his cheek. Karen was shocked at how hot Dex’s face was but she let him lead the skin-to-skin contact. His eyes closed and he leaned heavily into Karen’s hand. Karen set her glass down and completely took hold of Dex’s face in her hands.

Almost like an animal feeling a human’s calm touch for the first time, Dex let out a relaxed groan and reveled in the feel of Karen’s soft palms. Her thumbs gently massaged along his cheekbones. Dex was in heaven.

“Thank you,” Dex sighed. They stayed like that for a few moments before the kitchen timer rang and Dex startled out of his daze.

[git-it-got-it-good]

Yearning for Something Great

Ch. 3

Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter/ Karen Page, Frank Castle/Karen Page, past Matt Murdock/Karen Page

Mature rating, Enemies to Lovers, yearning, slow burn, depictions of violence, government-involved kidnapping, etc.

Ch. 1 Ch. 2

Summary:

Dex, aka Bullseye, has learned from his mistakes and dealings with the Fisks, going directly to Matt, Karen, and Foggy about Vanessa's plans. While the justice system rarely works the way it should, Dex is still looking to turn over a new leaf... and find a new North Star. Matt Murdock is too good. Frank Castle is too bad. But Karen Page fits the bill just right. When Karen and others get snatched by the AVTF in connection to Matt and Frank, it will be up to Dex, Frank, and Matt to find and rescue their friends and allies. Will Dex find what he's looking for? Will Frank ever resolve his feelings for Karen? Can Karen move past her failed relationship with Matt and her guilt over her own mistakes? Will the Fisks take out everyone in their way?

Dex looked into the rearview mirror at Karen’s profile as she refused to look at him and stared straight out the window as they drove. He had been able to pick out a AVTF retrofitted cop SUV that still had a barred off section in the rear passenger row of seats, the perfect way to transport a hostage.

Her hair was a bit messy and her dress dirty from having to sit chained on a warehouse floor but otherwise she didn’t appear harmed. “Did they hurt you, Karen?” Dex felt strange addressing her directly and in a consciously kind way. Most of the time they’ve had chances to speak to one another, Dex was threatening her.

“No,” Karen spoke softly, her voice wobbling a bit. She was tense, but was holding herself together admirably. “They just shoved me and Kirsten around. They didn’t hit us.” Karen knew Bullseye probably didn’t care for the extra information, but it made her feel better to voice her experience.

“I’m glad you’re not hurt.” Dex met her eye in the rearview mirror. His cold stare from behind his balaclava and flat affect he spoke with spooked Karen, but something told her that he was being sincere.

“Thank you,” Karen muttered and returned to looking out the window. She was trying to memorize landmarks, but after a while she realized Bullseye was driving around aimlessly. “Where are we going?” Part of her knew questions usually annoyed captors, but Karen was going to push her luck anyway.

“Somewhere safe. I’m just trying to lose the bloodhounds. They’re going to have lots of fun tracking us once we’re done with this car.” Dex looked out over the Williamsburg bridge as they crossed into Manhattan and drove until they ditched the AVTF car in a parking structure. It was easy enough to jack another car from the street outside the structure.

Putting Karen in the passenger seat, Dex was surprised at how civil Karen was acting. “I bet you’re wondering why I took you and not the others.” Reading Karen’s mixed expression had been delicious. Fear, anger, and confusion flashing across her face before being tamped down by her calm better judgement.

“I figured it has something to do with Matt Murdock or Daredevil.” Karen hedged out a guess since Dex remained so hard to read.

“He’s how I was introduced to you, but he’s not the reason I need you.” Karen looked like she was going to correct him about the difference between Matt and Daredevil before Dex interrupted her. “And we both know Matt and Daredevil are the same person.” Dex smiled under his balaclava. Karen’s hackles were up and Dex reveled in this little game they played, a version of 20 questions without the questions.

“Then you’re out to finish the job you did at the Bulletin.” Karen had calmed herself physically but her voice still warbled with emotion.

“No, I’m not taking you to kill you.” Dex watched relief pass over Karen’s profile.

“You’re back to working for the Fisks.” Karen raised an eyebrow. That almost sounded like a question.

“Never again will I work for those animals.” Dex’s tone had gone arctic. Karen had gotten the hint not to pursue that sore subject.

“Then you’re ransoming me.” Money made the world go round and Karen could relate to the need for cash. She wondered why he hadn’t picked a wealthier target.

“No, I don’t need the money.” Dex was sounding a bit more relaxed but that last theory had not impressed him. First, she had some good ideas and now she thinks I’m some greedy murderer? Dex thought.

“Then I don’t really have any more theories as to why you would want me. I’m not worth much to you besides bait for other vigilantes or the Fisks.” Karen had thrown in the towel. 

Now the ball was in Dex’s court. “You’re with me because I need you. I need you like I needed Julie. She meant a lot to me too.” Dex’s voice faltered at the moment he said Julie’s name but he recovered enough to finish his thought.

Karen had heard the name Julie but her memory of Dex’s connection to the now deceased young woman had failed to help Karen figure out Dex’s angle. “You barely know me…. How could I mean as much to you as Julie did?”

“Julie had been my North Star.” Dex felt like he was spilling his guts. A torrent of emotion passed through him and he had to pull over to gain some control back. Dex peeled off his balaclava and looked over at a startled Karen.

“As a child, my therapist told me about needing a North Star in my life. Someone who could guide me to make better life decisions.” Karen seemed to be enraptured by Dex’s vulnerability. Almost like watching a deadly viper break down in tears right in front of you. It was hard for her to look away. 

“Dr. Mercer said that my moral compass wasn’t broken, but I needed someone to show me the way to being a better version of myself.” Dex had rarely spoken about Dr. Mercer in years and now mentioning her also brought out some sort of pent up sorrow that Dex had compartmentalized all these years. First, Julie and now, Dr. Mercer. All the women in Dex’s life who had been kind and genuine to him, all dead.

But Karen was alive. And Karen was looking at him in a new way; confused, empathetically saddened by his tone, and hyperaware of the sudden change in Dex’s entire demeanor. She wasn’t pushing him away, but she didn’t seem to entirely understand what was happening. 

“And now I want you to be my North Star. You’ve done so well with Daredevil and the Punisher; I want what you have with them.” Dex finally watched realization pass over Karen’s face. 

“What is it you think Frank and Matt have with me?” Karen was careful not to jump into any one feeling. To react angrily would possibly be met with rage from Dex. To over empathize would be to further invite Dex’s apparent obsession with her. To shut down completely might also be seen as a rejection or permission for this whole chaotic event. Karen chose cautious curiosity.

“They love you, Karen. They protect you and trust you.” Dex was encouraged by Karen’s reaction. “And you…. You do the same for them. You’re loyal and honest. You help them with their missions and you are someone who is always there to listen and be present with them. You’re a lifeline.”

Karen was stunned by the answer. It was almost a naive answer, but Karen could see where the emotionally stunted part of Dex motivated the deranged side of Dex. Both sides of Dex were watching her reaction very carefully. One wrong move could land Karen in a lot of trouble.

“They may love me in their own ways, Dex, but what you don’t see is that they rarely appreciate me. Matt leads a double life that oftentimes derails his regular life. He’s almost lost me and Foggy as friends several times…” Karen was honest with her answer, something she knew Dex valued. 

“And Frank…. Jesus, he’s a walking set of contradictory issues… one minute he’s using you as bait and the next he’s shielding you from a grenade. You don’t know if you’re dealing with the Punisher who is entirely consumed by hateful revenge or Frank, the family man who still has a soul. Either way, I’m putting my life in my hands every time I come into contact with him.” Karen let out a rushed breath as she recounted a memory from Frank’s earlier days. She had never been so scared as the night Frank saved her from the hail of bullets that peppered her apartment only to use her as bait at a diner barely 30 hours later.

“I understand that part, Karen.” Dex took Karen’s hand in his gloved one. The first time they’d touched in a way that wasn’t a threat. “That’s why it’s going to be my turn to show you that I can be better than they are. I can be the one who will choose you first the way you put others first. I’ve seen how much you care, Karen. I mean, hell, it’s basically in your name.” Dex chuckled at his own joke.

Karen managed to huff out a laugh so that it wasn’t obvious how uncomfortable she was at this sudden and complete tonal change in Dex. Not even an hour ago he was skewering people with knives and projectiles and hauling me out of my cage, and now he’s practically pledging himself to me? What the hell?

Dex read Karen’s continued confusion and reluctance as potential for sowing a seed of doubt against Matt and Frank. If he could convince her that they won’t come for her, Karen could be his forever. “You’re right to be cautious, Karen. Matt and Frank have saved you before, but they’ve also risked your life unnecessarily. I can protect you. I can make it so that you never have to be scared of anyone or anything again.”

Karen raised an eyebrow and called Dex’s bluff. “It sounds like there’s more to your offer, Dex. What would I have to do for you?” 

Dex huffed a short laugh. Karen was sharper than he remembered. She knew that offers like his came with strings attached. “I told you… You need to keep me from drowning. Show me how to keep a level head. Teach me what I have to do to be a better person.” 

Now it was Karen’s turn to smirk. She hoped it had come off as playful, but deep down she was cringing at his naivete. “Well, we could start with the Golden Rule…”

Dex squinted in confusion but didn’t say anything. His hand on hers squeezed lightly as if to test her boundaries. 

Karen took it as her cue to continue. “It’s something you learn in Sunday school or kindergarten. ‘Treat others as you would like to be treated.’ Think of it as rudimentary empathy. If you push someone down on the playground, would you like that kid to jump up and push you back? If you don’t see a problem with your behavior, essentially doing whatever you want to whoever you want whenever you want, then you have a problem with impulse control, natural consequences, social expectations, empathy, and personal boundaries.”

Karen gave Dex a moment to take it all in. Surely Dex’s therapist went over this with him… right? Based on how long it was taking him to mull over the information, Karen wasn’t so sure he had ever been told in basic terms what the building blocks of “being a good person” really were. It felt like the same version of the Twilight Zone feeling she got when she had to teach her high school friend how to tie shoe laces or teach her college roommate how to do her laundry. Basic things that every adult should know and yet people fall through the cracks. Dex was one of those who never learned the metaphorical rules of the social road.

Finally, Dex’s eyes regained their sharpness and focused back on Karen. “So, that’s all it takes? Thinking about what other people want first before acting on something?”

Karen did her best to repress a mildly exasperated sigh. “Well, it’s an important first step, Dex, but what it really means is demonstrating how you want to be treated and somehow trusting people to follow your example.”

“Like giving people instructions on how you like things done?” Karen had to give it to Dex. He was trying to wrap his head around something he should have really been taught as a child and had years of real-world applied practice on the playground or in the classroom.

“Yeah, I guess that’s a pretty close conclusion… Think of it like a roadmap. You give people street names and landmarks and hope that they’re able to find their way. It’s not always perfect, but it does eventually lead to the same result if you’re patient enough to deal with people making mistakes or messing up occasionally.” Karen felt herself bracing for Dex to see that she was leading this discussion by the seat of her pants. She had no idea how to really reason with Bullseye, his mind too fragile to grasp linear thoughts without losing focus or becoming frustrated.

But Dex surprised her. He hesitantly nodded along after a moment. Karen thought, Maybe he’s just as cautious around me as I am of him? 

“It takes a long time for people to learn how to treat you right?” Dex’s question was almost a whisper, as if he was afraid of the answer.

“To some extent. Some people only care about themselves and how people treat them; they rarely take the time to treat others nicely,” Karen admitted. “And other people become door mats; letting themselves get used and abused because they care too much about being perceived as nice and not enough about holding people accountable for how badly they can treat people pleasers. But most people you’ll meet are pretty good about maintaining boundaries while still being kind. You just have to know what kind of people you’re dealing with and to what extent you are willing to tolerate certain kinds of treatment.”

Dex was really hyper focused on Karen now. Watching her lips move, hearing the tone of her voice, feeling the slight tremble in the hand he still clutched at like a lifeline. She wasn’t really afraid of him at this moment and that was refreshing. Dex was figuring out how Karen could relax when he showed her that he was calm. What an interesting new development….

“How do you like to be treated, Karen?” Dex took Karen off guard by his bluntness, but he never was one to tolerate being overly tactful with his words and behavior.

“Uh, well– I want to be treated with respect, basically.” Karen stumbled for an acceptable answer, one that wouldn’t give Bullseye too much future ammo against her.

“Respect? Is that all?” Dex curled his lip in an almost bitter way. Karen was still selling herself too short for his benefit. He wanted to test her boundary armor a bit to see which road he really needed to take to win her. “Remember what you said about people who act like door mats?”

Karen flashed her eyes angrily for a moment, briefly grappling with wanting to argue with Dex about hypocrisy while she was still his hostage, but tamped it down quickly. “Yeah, I did imply that being a door mat wasn’t a good thing, didn’t I?”

Dex smiled at her. Karen was just as good at aiming her words at people as he was at aiming objects at people. This was going to be the start of an amazing relationship.

[git-it-got-it-good]

Yearning for Something Great

Ch. 2

Benjamin "Dex" Poindexter/ Karen Page, Frank Castle/Karen Page, past Matt Murdock/Karen Page

Mature rating, Enemies to Lovers, yearning, slow burn, depictions of violence, government-involved kidnapping, etc.

Ch.1

Summary:

Dex, aka Bullseye, has learned from his mistakes and dealings with the Fisks, going directly to Matt, Karen, and Foggy about Vanessa's plans. While the justice system rarely works the way it should, Dex is still looking to turn over a new leaf... and find a new North Star. Matt Murdock is too good. Frank Castle is too bad. But Karen Page fits the bill just right. When Karen and others get snatched by the AVTF in connection to Matt and Frank, it will be up to Dex, Frank, and Matt to find and rescue their friends and allies. Will Dex find what he's looking for? Will Frank ever resolve his feelings for Karen? Can Karen move past her failed relationship with Matt and her guilt over her own mistakes? Will the Fisks take out everyone in their way?

Matt figured that the lack of heartbeats in the office meant an ill omen when he returned from the deli laden with sandwiches that were never going to be eaten. He had been out 45 minutes, and Foggy, Kirsten, and Karen were gone. Taken… by the feel of strewn papers on the floor and furniture out of place.

Getting on the phone with Frank, Matt tried to make sense of what could have prompted Fisk to make such a bold move against Matt. And, by extension, Frank.

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, Red, but if they got Karen and your buddies… I’ll be at your place in 20.” Frank was a man on a singular mission when it came to anybody in his very small circle: hurt them and die screaming.

Frank arrived in 18 minutes to Matt’s apartment. “I appreciate your punctuality, Frank. I have no idea where the AVTF have gone with our people, but I gotta ask you if you’ve done something to especially piss off Fisk to get him to pull something like this off.” 

Frank sighed and shuffled over to the couch to sit tensely. “Yeah… I may have gotten to his shipment of weapons before it made it to his warehouses in Red Hook. I got them stored at a friend of a friend’s place.” Frank looked up solemnly as Matt cursed under his breath. Looks like Matt wasn’t the only one dropping the ball, getting sloppy just to anger Fisk and his employers.

Matt could relate in some part to Frank’s impatience and desire to wreak havoc for the sake of disrupting the flow that empowered his enemies; but now it was costing them their friends.

“We gotta get ahead of this, Frank. Where the hell could they have taken Foggy, Kirsten, and Karen?” Matt raked a hand through his hair and paced the length of the hall between his kitchen and bedroom. 

“They’re probably holed up somewhere in Red Hook. He’s got a bunch of warehouses all over there, the perfect place to hold prisoners under the radar of the press and the actual police or the Feds.” Frank stared out the window and contemplated something that eventually twisted his face into a dry, wry smile.

“Say, Red… you want to do this your slow, boring way or do you want to get answers my quick, dirty way?”

“I don’t like the sound of that, Frank. Let’s do this my way. I’ve got a guy close to the police department who can look into this for me. He owes me a few favors.” Matt stood near his hall table to grab his burner phone and dial up Mahoney.

“You take your road and I’ll take mine. I’ll let ya know what I find.” Frank stood to leave and Matt got Mahoney’s voicemail. “I bet you Mahoney is busy with that robbery Spider-Man stopped a couple hours ago. I’m gonna do this my way.”

“Goddamn it, Frank! Don’t kill anyone!”

With that, Frank made his way out the door and down to his van. He had an idea of where he could find some high ranking AVTF officers. It wasn’t hard to figure when they regularly frequented their usual spots. Stupid creatures of habit. Too confident in their power to realize that changing their habits may have kept them alive longer.

Matt put on his costume and thought that visiting Mahoney in person would bring more fruitful results from the detective. Mahoney was a good man, but was prone to spreading himself too thin when it came to his job.

Matt knew Karen was much better suited to this portion of the job but she was being held up somewhere. Matt only wished that she was okay; that the AVTF officers weren’t torturing her or Foggy or Kirsten. 

Matt wouldn’t put it past Fisk to order his men to commit unspeakable things against people. He’d seen what they did to Hector, shattering Soledad and Angela. He’d heard rumors of all the men and women who were already missing thanks to Powell and Cole. Matt had to get to Karen, Foggy, and Kirsten before anything more happened to them or before Frank tore up half the city looking for them.

Matt knew Frank and Karen were close. She had touched a part of the Punisher that had been all but killed off; a shred of humanity that missed all the tenderness of family and human connection. Matt saw the animalistic side that Frank put out to the world, but Karen saw the glimmers of enduring love and loss that completed the depth of Frank’s soul.

Karen had done the same to Matt when they had first worked together to figure out the complexities of Fisk’s power in New York. Karen saw the man behind the Catholic morality and loved Matt for his goodness and his passion. But no matter how hard Matt tried to keep his promises to Karen, he could never completely reconcile his identity as Matt Murdock and his alter ego, Daredevil.

Matt could sense that Karen understood that he had made his choice, but it never stopped her loyalty and love to shine sadly through her eyes every time she looked at him long enough. What he wouldn’t give to live in a world where he could give Karen everything she wanted in a man and still be Daredevil.

Matt found Mahoney in his cluttered and darkening office at dusk. The detective was slouched in his chair seemingly resting his eyes before pouring over evidence and crime scene photos.

“Mahoney, is this the first time you’ve been stumped on a seemingly open and shut Spider-Man burglary case?” Matt knew that Mahoney was one of the best detectives on the force but it still delighted the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen to prod at a nonexistent wound.

“You know I’ve got this all wrapped up in a bow, it’s just the repercussions I gotta deal with when the press gets the facts. You’ve seen how they torture that Spider-Guy in the Bugle. I’m just trying to find an angle that softens the blow on him.” Mahoney turned his eyes up to Matt perched near a teetering pile of files near the window.

“I appreciate you giving us vigilantes some grace.” Matt huffed a short laugh before sobering. “I got a favor to ask. Foggy Nelson, Karen Page, and Kirsten McDuffie have been taken by the AVTF in connection to the Punisher stealing a weapons cache meant for the Fisk warehouses in Red Hook. Do you have any idea where the AVTF could have taken them?”

Mahoney sighed and cursed under his breath in defeat. “I’ll level with you, friend… the AVTF keep to their own and don’t particularly trust their old comrades here in the NYPD. Fisk has them on a pretty short leash and they are about as tight lipped in their dealings as it comes. You’d have better luck cracking one of those overzealous HYDRA agents from a few years back than you would the mad dogs they keep on the AVTF roster.”

Now it was Matt’s turn to curse under his breath. Maybe Frank’s right… I’m gonna need to go quick and dirty on this one… a small price to pay to get Foggy, Karen, and Kirsten back.

“Thanks, anyway, Brett. And good luck covering Spider-Man’s ass.” Matt took off before he could sense Mahoney’s exasperated sigh and eyeroll.

On the other side of the city, Frank had cornered an AVTF officer outside the Last Score sportsbar that catered to Fisk’s brute squad after their overtime shifts. 

The Last Score would see the final moments of Officer Chuck Grayson as he spilled his guts to Frank Castle. “I swear to God…. They’re in the A8 warehouse at Red Hook. Three levels filled with 8 foot by 5 foot cages containing Fisk’s detainees. If she’s been taken by us, she’s gonna be there.”

Frank sighed and squinted up at the man he had pinned up against the grimy brick wall next to the dumpster. “You better be right, Grayson… Or maybe I pick off more of your buddies in there until I can find someone who can corroborate your story. I gotta do my due diligence… same as you.”

Chuck sucked in a choked up breath. “I’ll swear on whatever you want, but I’m telling the truth.” Frank had already opened up a large wound on Grayson’s side that was slowly draining blood and energy from him. Chuck Grayson wasn’t long for this world if he didn’t find a way to get out of Frank Castle’s metaphorical line of sight.

“I’ll just have to take your word for it, Chucky-boy. See you in Hell.” Frank popped Chuck in the dome with a silenced pistol and let the body drop onto the mucky asphalt.

“One less of you bastards to worry about.” Frank muttered under his breath before walking towards his van and checking his burner phone for a map to Red Hook.

“I’m coming for you, Karen, just hang on…” Frank drove through the darkened city before reaching the heavily guarded perimeter of the port that Fisk had crawling with his cronies.

Frank remembered when he first met Karen. He had tracked her and Grotto through the dimly lit hallways of the hospital, driving them into a trap. A few well-placed shots in their proximity had gotten them stuffed into Ben Urich’s car and Frank was seconds away from a perfect shot at Grotto in the passenger seat of a moving vehicle. Matt had put a stop to it before Frank could finish the job.

The next time Frank met Karen, she was deeply suspicious of him even after visiting the abandoned house he had once shared with his family. She had seen the scattered puzzle pieces of his life and helped him place them all together, something he would never be able to repay. And even with all her kindness, Frank used her as bait on at least one occasion. The betrayed look in Karen’s eyes was not something he could ever forget. Karen had seemed to forgive him every time he put his need for vengeance above her. Frank never understood why she was so comfortable letting him go off on his own when he could see deep in her soul she wanted him to choose her and her help.

Yet somehow after all those betrayals, those bouts of danger, the close proximity they shared, the innate trust they showed one another, and the steps he took to protect her had endeared Frank to Karen. Go figure…

Frank felt a fresh pang of guilt for how this had turned out. No one really knew what Karen had meant to him, not even Frank to some extent, but Frank sensed that Matt knew that there was more to the dynamic between them. Frank found it strange that Matt never warned Karen or even acknowledged it to either one of them.

As Frank entered the farthest ring of security surrounding Red Hook and the warehouses, he noticed how quiet it was. No guards chatting or the static of a communication link. No trucks or vehicles driving around patrolling. Just eerie stillness.

“What the hell?” Frank said under his breath as he scaled a chain link fence and jumped down behind a pile of some spare railroad ties. The lights were on and nobody was at home.

Walking and crouching  down closer to the entrance of the nearest warehouse, Frank really started to notice the absence of life and noise. That was until he came across the first body.

An AVTF officer with a projectile lodged in his left eye socket, laying lifeless on the path towards warehouse A7. As Frank approached, he saw all the hallmarks of a Bullseye attack. Bodies systematically laid out as a bloody path towards Poindexter’s true target.

Frank realized that the danger was already inside warehouse A8; exactly where Karen and the others were supposed to be… He ran as fast as he could inside and patrolled the hallways in search of the small cages that Grayson described.

It didn’t take Frank long before he started finding the cages neatly arranged in long rows facing each other. Looking in the cages, Frank saw frightened store owners, politicians, nurses, doctors, civilians, and finally a familiar set of lawyers. Each face he saw was frightened but unharmed. 

An added bonus to Bullseye’s new heroic mentality was that he thought that if you weren’t actively out to get him, he wouldn’t hurt you. No “eye for an eye” against innocent people. Frank figured that Bullseye thought that he was saving these people by not killing them. Poindexter couldn’t be bothered to set them free though.

Frank clocked Matt’s friends before they noticed him. He spotted the empty cage between McDuffie and Nelson and his heart stopped. “Where is Karen?” Frank ground out as Foggy turned to him and Kirsten startled at Frank’s gruff tone.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but thank God you’re here, Frank!” Foggy crowded up to the bars of his cage. 

“Where is she?” Frank bellowed. 

Foggy finally seemed to understand Frank’s words and pointed towards an open door farther down the hall. “Bullseye stormed in 20 minutes ago and took her. He took Karen. He didn’t take anyone else but he killed all the AVTF bastards he could.”

Frank gritted his teeth and snarled out a curse. He had been moments too late… “All right… I’m gonna let you and Kirsten out. I saw a few vehicles you could use to get these people to safety. You take my extra phone and call Red. He’ll want to know what’s going on here. I’m going after Bullseye and Karen.”

Foggy agreed and Frank busted them out of their cages. It took a long time for Foggy and Kirsten to get all the people out of their cages and organized, but they managed to create a convoy of armored vehicles to get them out of Red Hook.

Frank followed as much of Bullseye’s trail as he could before he lost them. Bullseye had stolen an AVTF vehicle and fled, probably ditching the car as soon as he was able. The good news was that the pools of blood Frank had noticed along the way had belonged to countless AVTF officers and not Karen.

[theavengers]

CHRIS EVANS as STEVE ROGERS Avengers: Endgame (2019) dir. Anthony and Joe Russo

[lokihiddleston]

BUCKY BARNES Doomsday

[thiscoldheart]

frankenstein (2025) + the gothic bridal carry

[valarinde]

I'm Elizabeth. Can you say Elizabeth? Elizabeth.

[christophernolan]

It's you.

FRANKENSTEIN 2025 | Guillermo del Toro

[lenreli]

[ecairnsart]

Remember that I am thy creature; I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel, whom thou drivest from joy for no misdeed.

//

loved the new GDT Frankenstein movie and its new take on the story, and got inspired to draw this based on Cabanel's 1847 L'Ange déchu/Fallen Angel painting

[valarinde]

My maker told his tale. Then I will tell you mine. Frankenstein (2025) dir. Guillermo del Toro

[ravenclairee]

FRANKENSTEIN — 2025, dir. Guillermo Del Toro

[vexheart]

[dilfgifs]

Tony Dalton as Jack Duquesne HAWKEYE (2021) | 1.01