Storyteller, us forever

Exploring visual storytelling

[giulietta-hearthful]

Gucci by Gucci (2008) dir. David Lynch

[giulietta-hearthful]

Why more men should see Carmen

Exploring femicide through Don José's character

"If i can't have you, no one will." This phrase is often romanticized in fiction, but in real life, it’s bone-chilling.

150 years ago, Carmen gave us one of the most powerful warnings about love, obsession, and control - and it did not romanticize this phrase. Instead, it exposed the real-life danger of femicide.

In this post, I will analyze Don José's character and what led him to murder Carmen, focusing on four key themes: Obsession, Possession, Emotional Repression, and Patriarchal Thinking.

1. Obsession

Don José was a disciplined, duty-bound soldier with a steady life ahead of him. When he met Carmen, he wasn't initially interested in her. But then, everything changed.

When he allowed Carmen to escape her prison sentence for fighting with another woman, he was arrested and imprisoned himself. Because of this, he lost his freedom, his reputation, and his sense of self.

Prison is a deeply traumatic experience. While waiting for his release, the only thing that brought him peace and meaning to his suffering was fantasizing about Carmen and falling in love with her. But what he loved was not her - it was the idea of her. He turned her into a symbol: the femme fatale, the seductress, the perfect woman.

This does not excuse what he did later, but it explains how his obsession took root. It shows that he was not inherently a horrible person - he was a man whose unresolved emotions, insecurities, and delusions consumed him.

Upon his release, he abandoned his job and his values- all for a belief he could live a free, passionate life with Carmen.

2. Possession

When Don José gave up everything for Carmen, he expected something in return: her love, loyalty and devotion. He was left with nothing but his obsession with Carmen, and when he became clingy and controlling, she lost all attraction to him.

Rather than accept this, he spiraled into resentment, framing his own choices as suffering she had caused him. When she decided to leave him, he doesn’t beg her to stay - he demands it:

"Beware,

Carmen ... I'm tired of suffering ..."

"You tell me to follow her

So that you can run

After your new lover.

No really,

If it cost me my life,

No, I will not leave,

And the chain that binds us

We will bind until the death ..."

"Leave me, because I am doomed..."

He doesn't see his choices as his own. Instead, he sees himself as a victim, blaming Carmen for his pain. To him, his suffering, his downfall, even his loss of self- these were not consequences of his own choices. They were sacrifices. And in his mind, that sacrifice meant he was entitled to Carmen.

And so, he reaches his chilling conclusion:

"No, by the blood, you will not go,

Carmen, it's me you'll follow!"

This is the core of possessiveness: " If I can't have you, no one will."

3. Emotional repression

Could Don José have lived a normal life if he had never met Carmen?

Maybe he would have had a different life, but I would argue that he would have displayed the same behavioral patterns eventually.

His relationship with Carmen did not create his possessiveness, insecurity, lack of self-worth, or emotional instability - it revealed them.

Before meeting her, his structured life as a soldier kept these issues hidden. But when Carmen entered his life, she became the catalyst that forced his unresolved issues to the surface.

Instead of murdering Carmen, he could have accepted his heartbreak, worked through his pain and resentment, and found a new sense of purpose. But because he didn’t know how to process his emotions in a healthy way, he saw losing Carmen as losing his very identity. This led him to lash out in the most violent way possible.

And this brings us to the next point: patriarchal thinking.

4. Patriarchal Thinking

Carmen could not live up to the fantasy Don José had projected onto her. When she no longer conformed to his idealized image, he felt rejected and reacted with anger and violence. He believed she owed to him to her love and devotion.

This reflects the programming of a patriarchal society - one that teaches men they can own and control women.

When Carmen moved on and found love again, Don José interprets it as a personal betrayal - her choice to leave as an insult to his pride. His words make this painfully clear:

"So, the salvation of my soul,

I will have lost it so that you,

For you to go away, infamous!

In his arms, laugh at me."

In the end, Don José didn’t want Carmen back out of love. There was no love left - only obsession masquerading as it.

What Carmen teaches us about femicide

The story of Carmen challenges our understanding of femicide and provides a stark example of the psychology and thought processes behind men who commit it.

Many people assume that men who commit femicide are "monsters" or psychopaths - but in reality, most of them are just regular men.

At a feminist panel I attended last year, one speaker said something that stuck with me:

"When prisoners who committed femicide were interviewed, every single one of them said, 'If only she had done [insert] differently..."

Just like Don José, these men refused to take responsibility for their actions. Instead of showing remorse, they continued to blame the women they had killed.

In my home country, femicide is the most devastating women’s rights issue because institutions fail to protect women. One-third of all femicides here could have been prevented. And the scariest part? Many of these murders happened despite the victims having restraining orders or reporting threats to the authorities.

The Takeaway

Most conversations about femicide focus on increasing punishments for the crime and improving physical protection through law enforcement - measures I fully support. However, this topic is often confined to feminist circles, leaving many men unaware of its prevalence and underlying causes. When such a heinous crime occurs, it’s understandable that the focus is on the victim and the urgency of justice, making it difficult to consider the perpetrator’s mental health or the factors that led to the crime.

My intention with this post is to shed light on the risk factors behind femicide and to spark conversations about its root causes. I believe everyone - especially men - should understand these issues, not to excuse the actions of perpetrators, but to prevent future tragedies.

I hope this post has made you think and that it will inspire meaningful conversations, particularly with the men in your life. Change begins with awareness, and together, we can work toward a future where femicide is not just punished but prevented.

[giulietta-hearthful]

Take my shoes off

And throw them in the lake

And I'll be two steps on the water

Kate Bush: Hounds of Love (1986)

[giulietta-hearthful]

Repulsion (1965)

[aloneandforsakenbyfateandbyman]

Belladonna of Sadness (1973)

[thequeensofnoise]

I don’t know why I’m crying, am I suspended in gaffa?

[yingtan]

春光乍洩 Happy Together (1997) dir. Wong Kar Wai

[giulietta-hearthful]

Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine

They say I better stop or I'll go blind

Cyndi Lauper: She Bop (1984)

[giulietta-hearthful]

Take my shoes off

And throw them in the lake

And I'll be two steps on the water

Kate Bush: Hounds of Love (1986)

[giulietta-hearthful]

Betty Blue (1986) by Jean-Jacques Beineix

Dear Sir,

I have been an editor at this publishing house for a good twenty years, and believe me, things both good and not so good have passed through my hands. I have never seen anything, however, that compares with what you have had the incredibly bad taste to send us.

I have often written to young authors to tell them of the admiration I hold for them and their work. I have never until now been tempted to do the opposite. But you, sir, have pushed me over the brink.

Your writing for me evokes the preliminary signs of leprosy. It is with deep disgust that I am sending back this nauseating flower that you mistakenly thought was a novel.

Nature sometimes gives birth to mutations. You will agree that it is the duty of an honest man to put an end to such anomalies. Understand that I intend to do some publicity for you. My only regret is that this thing can never be returned to the one place it never should have left—I am speaking of some murky swamplike zone in your brain.

Quote from the rejection letter in Betty Blue by Philippe Djian

[ferretfyre]

Academy Award for Best Picture:

52. Kramer vs. Kramer (1979, Robert Benton)

I think the reason why Mommy left… was because for a long time… I kept trying to make her be a certain kind of person. A certain kind of wife that I thought she was supposed to be. And she just wasn’t like that. She was… She just wasn’t like that. I think that she tried for so long to make me happy… and when she couldn’t, she tried to talk to me about it. But I wasn’t listening. I was too busy, too wrapped up… just thinking about myself. And I thought that anytime I was happy, she was happy. But I think underneath she was very sad. Mommy stayed here longer than she wanted because she loves you so much. And the reason why Mommy couldn’t stay anymore… was because she couldn’t stand me. She didn’t leave because of you. She left because of me.

[giulietta-hearthful]

In the video performance The Picnic (2013), Tajči Čekada and a wild boar—both dressed in elaborate white dresses—enjoy a surreal and tender picnic together. The second video, titled Vepar, Veprica, Veprovina (2013) (roughly translating to wild boar, female wild boar, and wild boar meat), juxtaposes footage from The Picnic with disturbing scenes of hunting, butchering, and ultimately the cooking and consumption of a wild boar.

Together, these works offer a striking lesson in speciesism. In the first video, the wild boar is portrayed as a beloved companion; in the second, as a disposable source of meat. The emotional whiplash between the two is jarring, and for me, the hunting scenes were too upsetting to watch.

[giulietta-hearthful]

I still think about her sometimes, especially when I'm being too hard on myself.

[filmescapism]

⋆˚｡⋆ ⋆˚｡⋆⋆˚Traumnovelle dir. Manfredi M. Destro⋆˚｡⋆ ⋆˚｡.⋆˚｡

watch here

[giulietta-hearthful]

The Green Ray (1986) dir. Éric Rohmer

Does convenience make us forget?

[bluenymphie]

Only Lovers Left Alive (2013), dir. Jim Jarmusch

[giulietta-hearthful]

Why more men should see Carmen

Exploring femicide through Don José's character

"If i can't have you, no one will." This phrase is often romanticized in fiction, but in real life, it’s bone-chilling.

150 years ago, Carmen gave us one of the most powerful warnings about love, obsession, and control - and it did not romanticize this phrase. Instead, it exposed the real-life danger of femicide.

In this post, I will analyze Don José's character and what led him to murder Carmen, focusing on four key themes: Obsession, Possession, Emotional Repression, and Patriarchal Thinking.

1. Obsession

Don José was a disciplined, duty-bound soldier with a steady life ahead of him. When he met Carmen, he wasn't initially interested in her. But then, everything changed.

When he allowed Carmen to escape her prison sentence for fighting with another woman, he was arrested and imprisoned himself. Because of this, he lost his freedom, his reputation, and his sense of self.

Prison is a deeply traumatic experience. While waiting for his release, the only thing that brought him peace and meaning to his suffering was fantasizing about Carmen and falling in love with her. But what he loved was not her - it was the idea of her. He turned her into a symbol: the femme fatale, the seductress, the perfect woman.

This does not excuse what he did later, but it explains how his obsession took root. It shows that he was not inherently a horrible person - he was a man whose unresolved emotions, insecurities, and delusions consumed him.

Upon his release, he abandoned his job and his values- all for a belief he could live a free, passionate life with Carmen.

2. Possession

When Don José gave up everything for Carmen, he expected something in return: her love, loyalty and devotion. He was left with nothing but his obsession with Carmen, and when he became clingy and controlling, she lost all attraction to him.

Rather than accept this, he spiraled into resentment, framing his own choices as suffering she had caused him. When she decided to leave him, he doesn’t beg her to stay - he demands it:

"Beware,

Carmen ... I'm tired of suffering ..."

"You tell me to follow her

So that you can run

After your new lover.

No really,

If it cost me my life,

No, I will not leave,

And the chain that binds us

We will bind until the death ..."

"Leave me, because I am doomed..."

He doesn't see his choices as his own. Instead, he sees himself as a victim, blaming Carmen for his pain. To him, his suffering, his downfall, even his loss of self- these were not consequences of his own choices. They were sacrifices. And in his mind, that sacrifice meant he was entitled to Carmen.

And so, he reaches his chilling conclusion:

"No, by the blood, you will not go,

Carmen, it's me you'll follow!"

This is the core of possessiveness: " If I can't have you, no one will."

3. Emotional repression

Could Don José have lived a normal life if he had never met Carmen?

Maybe he would have had a different life, but I would argue that he would have displayed the same behavioral patterns eventually.

His relationship with Carmen did not create his possessiveness, insecurity, lack of self-worth, or emotional instability - it revealed them.

Before meeting her, his structured life as a soldier kept these issues hidden. But when Carmen entered his life, she became the catalyst that forced his unresolved issues to the surface.

Instead of murdering Carmen, he could have accepted his heartbreak, worked through his pain and resentment, and found a new sense of purpose. But because he didn’t know how to process his emotions in a healthy way, he saw losing Carmen as losing his very identity. This led him to lash out in the most violent way possible.

And this brings us to the next point: patriarchal thinking.

4. Patriarchal Thinking

Carmen could not live up to the fantasy Don José had projected onto her. When she no longer conformed to his idealized image, he felt rejected and reacted with anger and violence. He believed she owed to him to her love and devotion.

This reflects the programming of a patriarchal society - one that teaches men they can own and control women.

When Carmen moved on and found love again, Don José interprets it as a personal betrayal - her choice to leave as an insult to his pride. His words make this painfully clear:

"So, the salvation of my soul,

I will have lost it so that you,

For you to go away, infamous!

In his arms, laugh at me."

In the end, Don José didn’t want Carmen back out of love. There was no love left - only obsession masquerading as it.

What Carmen teaches us about femicide

The story of Carmen challenges our understanding of femicide and provides a stark example of the psychology and thought processes behind men who commit it.

Many people assume that men who commit femicide are "monsters" or psychopaths - but in reality, most of them are just regular men.

At a feminist panel I attended last year, one speaker said something that stuck with me:

"When prisoners who committed femicide were interviewed, every single one of them said, 'If only she had done [insert] differently..."

Just like Don José, these men refused to take responsibility for their actions. Instead of showing remorse, they continued to blame the women they had killed.

In my home country, femicide is the most devastating women’s rights issue because institutions fail to protect women. One-third of all femicides here could have been prevented. And the scariest part? Many of these murders happened despite the victims having restraining orders or reporting threats to the authorities.

The Takeaway

Most conversations about femicide focus on increasing punishments for the crime and improving physical protection through law enforcement - measures I fully support. However, this topic is often confined to feminist circles, leaving many men unaware of its prevalence and underlying causes. When such a heinous crime occurs, it’s understandable that the focus is on the victim and the urgency of justice, making it difficult to consider the perpetrator’s mental health or the factors that led to the crime.

My intention with this post is to shed light on the risk factors behind femicide and to spark conversations about its root causes. I believe everyone - especially men - should understand these issues, not to excuse the actions of perpetrators, but to prevent future tragedies.

I hope this post has made you think and that it will inspire meaningful conversations, particularly with the men in your life. Change begins with awareness, and together, we can work toward a future where femicide is not just punished but prevented.