Yumeshipper, Harlan Ellison fan, Goth, Genderfluid, Almondsexual, Alexithymic (?),
Main F/O: Raphael (BG3)
I have too many F/Os to type out for my own good. Over 50 for sure.
Janus Hassildor is my sad looking, pathetic twink, and tilts his head like a dog when something confuses him and nobody can stop me from saying otherwise.
Ondolemar: doesnāt react, keeps a completely straight face, and then asks curiously āwhat was that for?ā. Your answer will determine whether or not he responds by merely going quiet again, or surprises you later by returning the favour.
Ancano: is picky. Will either push you away or will act like it doesnāt affect him at all (but you can see his neck flushing under his collar and heās avoiding eye contact). He has to clear his throat before speaking or his voice will crack. āAre you quite done?ā
Elenwen: kisses back, baby. Itās to flip the situation around on you, more than anything else, but if youāre an altmer, itās to save you both the embarrassment. Either that or she just loves to kiss. I donāt know. I get the vibe.
Cicero: giggles. If youāve given him butterflies, itās obvious because he p much scrunches his body up, curling his toes and fingers. He will return the favour. If itās platonic, heāll peck your cheek. If itās romantic, heāll wait until later and get you when nobody else is around. Ambush kisses.
Vingalmo: saw it coming and stops you from kissing him by putting his hand over your face. He likes to be the one to initiate the kisses, you gotta be patient. But. Now that he knows you want to kiss him? Either heāll use it to blackmail you (if you mean nothing to him), or he will indulge you later, when you can have a little privacy.
Garan Marethi: doesnāt react at all. Heās got things to be doing, and heās still doing them. However if youāre super bold and go for the lips, that might catch him off guard. He might also bite you. Donāt randomly kiss Mr Marethi on the mouth.
Serana: will punch you, and you will have deserved it for ignoring literally everything she says to you.
Lydia: laughs, then goes quiet. Thereās an awkward moment before she just suddenly turns around and pins you against the nearest surface to kiss you sloppy style. Sheās wanted to do that for quite a while.
Vilkas: ducks out of the way.
Farkas: if he had a tail it would wag. He returns the kiss and also squeezes you into a cuddle.
Teldryn Sero: purposely tries to make you uncomfortable by acting like you have severely offended him, then just starts laughing because youāre so easy to wind up. If he likes you back, heāll want to talk more in depth about it later.
Neloth: āAgh! Yuck, you little lunatic, get your sphincter away from me! Stop it!ā *smacking you with whatever heās got in his hands* (so, a book, a mug, or a piece of canis root. Or youāre getting bonked by a staff.)
Itās been a fat while since Iāve done one of these but you guys seem to like them so in lieu of the one I keep getting notifs for:
How the Skyrim NPCs Initiate kisses!
Ondolemar: tries to do it as nonchalantly and as casually as possible. Youāre sat down reading? Heās weird about it and kisses the back of your head. Stood next to him? He turns his face and kisses your shoulder. All completely deadpan and lightning fast before resuming his military stance. Itās oddly comical. But - thatās when thereās people around. If nobody else is around and youāve been teasing him, youāre gonna end up pinned against the war table.
Ancano: Is so awkward just put him out of his misery. He will keep trying to psych himself up for it and move to stand DIRECTLY in your path, ready to grab you by the hips and kiss your soul out, but it just looks like heās standing in your way to be a twat. Breathing heavily. He goes to speak but stutters and gives himself the ick and just walks off. CATCH HIM. Push that mfer into a darker corner of the arcaneum where you know nobody is watching. Heāll have a mini panic, but will then start looking at your lips. His pupils will dilate, his breathing will hitch. His ears and neck and nose will flush and heāll lean in to catch your lower lip in his mouth with a helpless little mewl.
Elenwen: You can read her body language and know whatās about to happen. She starts to lowly purr her words, her spine sensuously straightens out, making her appear even taller, somewhere between a cobra rearing to strike and a prowling mountain lion. Her ākissingā smile, is a subtle pout and quirk of the left corner of her lips, and she presses her thighs together with want. Elenwen will lean against the nearest surface and command you, āCome here.ā And then her fingers will curl around your lovely neck, and she will be upon you with surprising gentleness.
Serana: wonāt kiss you, chump.
Lydia: As soon as she knows youāre interested, thatās it, sheās taking you to pound town. Youāre getting more than just a kiss. If thereās furniture between you? Sheās vaulting over it in a way that she manages to make weirdly hot? ??? The fucking suavest slickest most rizzful table vault and slide youāve ever seen melt into a smooth and confident saunter as she gets to you, grabs you by the front of your armour and aggressively yanks you into a searingly hot kiss. She growls as she does it. Girlieās been pining.
Vingalmo: You honestly cannot tell whether your hubris has lead to him being about to attack you and tear you limb from limb, or if heās equally as interested, because he will be watching you throughout the night. More than usual. You will feel his eyes upon you and shudder, but whether in fear or delight? Youāve fucked around and youāre about to find out. He strikes in the empty library, when all the others have retired to their coffins. You didnāt see him - you were too focused on trying to perfect that new poison, leant over the alchemy table. But you hear him; a quiet hum of approval, and then you feel him: cool hands slipping like silk over your lower abdomen from behind as he flattens himself against your back and kisses the side of your neck, just behind your jaw and below the ear. If youāre an elf, the next thing he does is trace over the tip of your ear with his tongue, before pulling back and giving you chance to turn around so he can kiss you properly. 100/10 best kisser in Skyrim, has had centuries of practice and kisses like a god. Count yourself lucky.
Vilkas: hates being kissed and hates kissing. I donāt know why. Sensory thing? Probably. Heāll kiss your cheek at most and will still wipe his mouth afterwards. No offence to you, kissing just aināt his cup of tea.
Farkas: smoochy smoochy 24/7. Has a whole range of ways to initiate a kiss, but tends to do his lighthearted-but-deeply-horny standing too close behind you, so that his hips bump your backside and you can feel his breath on your neck, which prompts you to turn around and then he sweeps you up into the cuddle-kiss wombo combo. He does it at the stupidest moments. Finished fighting a horde of draugr and are now crawling through a narrow cave passage? Farkas thinks itās time to go to a different bone zone. He doesnāt control when the horny strikes. First thing in the morning? Heās against your ass again, kneading your hips with his hands and huffing softly against your neck. He nudges your ear with his nose and actually very politely asks for a kiss.
Cicero: His demeanour shifts jarringly. All of a sudden, heās quiet, and each of his steps towards you are calculated. You freeze in your seat, unsure whether to get up and run or stay put- āStay right there, sillyā¦ā He whispers, and then straddles your lap. For someone so small, heās actually quite heavy, but you know that muscle weighs more than fat, and that under that jesterās outfit is the body of a very lean and dextrous assassin. Heās warm, borderline hot, as his body presses against yours, as he nestles his backside further into the comfort of your pelvis and then leans in purposefully, to pin you against that chair, his hands around your hands, guiding them to his hips as he kisses you deeply, slanting his lips against yours and nipping your tongue if you dare to attempt to explore his mouth before he can explore yours. Cicero likes having the upper hand.
I love the Inglourious Basterds fandom because we have the two people making constant landaraine art, a couple people who used to write fanfictions on here but evaporated, a few shitposts, some simps here and there (me), and yet no porn that's not writing that I know about.
I think he doesnāt have a black and white moral code, more a gray one, he acts depending on what itās best even if in some cases itās not very legal.
His wife died a while ago, but he still does his best to be a good father for his son and a good family member to his family in general and feels bad when they donāt have enough money for heat, food or medicines. His son has a weak immune system so he is extra careful, and makes him wear a face mask in winter to lower the risk to catch airborne diseases, like from sneezes.
He is a calm person if you leave him in peace, but if needed heād start a fight in the middle of the sidewalk, but he is not violent normally, only in defense.
If the job lottery wasnāt a thing and actually got to choose his career heād have a job you wouldnāt expect, like working at an animal shelter or something similar, but his canon job became less oppressive thanks to his friendship between Calensk and Sergiu.
Also, the inspector is allergic to penuts.
Calensk: I see him as a grumpy man who complains about everything often, usually the government, he can get angry really easily, but he is a great friend, very loyal, heās the type of person who seems tuff, almost rude from the outside but he actually has a soft spot for jokes, especially from Sergiu, when they first met he didnāt like him at all because he was way to energetic but got used to it.
I think Calensk has those thick sideburns from a very long time and never shaved them because now they are part of his personality/character, he likes this style a lot and heās proud of it.
He and Sergiu became friends because the have a common friend: the inspector, and sometimes during brakes the play cards inside the inspectorās booth.
I think his idea to makes deals with colleagues, like with the inspector (money in exchange of detaining more people), started as something small that became basically a second job, if u pay him he can provide u cigarettes or stuff like that.
To me he doesnāt really have a good bound with his wife anymore compared to when they started dating, love just vanished slowly from both. I think he slowly realized he might be gay, but avoided that true for a long time tho, he still needs to hides it due to society.
Sergiu+Elisa: I like to think that Elisa helped wounded soldiers on their side (Kolechians) at camp hospitals, but made an exception for Sergiu because he was in critical conditions and felt bad to let him die, from there she secretly interacted with him and they fell in love, but he had to return to his homeland or he would become a deserter, but as we know they will see each other again an start living together in Arstozka.
I think Elisa would have a beautiful voice and Sergiu loves listening to her singing.
They would use sweet nicknames to call each other like sweetie pie, honey, ecc.., or just simple nicknames like āLizā and āSeruā
Vonel: I need to divide him into āwork modeā and āstandard modeā
Basically I see him as someone who behaves differently at work compared to his true self,
At the ministry:
Heās a workaholic, he is almost disgustingly good at his job and demands a lot from his team but even more from himself. coworkers donāt interact much with him during brakes because they find him very unsettling as a person, he always keeps that straight face and doesnāt even flinch in the worst situation, he never raises his voice instead he uses that cold tone that can easily cause chills down the spine, but what really scare other is his ability to read people, he observes body language, voice tones, small details in general, memories footsteps or others routines, heās the type of investigator that makes others contradict themselves. Despite that they still respect him since he doesnāt yell at others, doesnāt humiliate coworkers and heās actually more reasonable that u would expect.
Daily life:
He is known by his neighborhood to be a discreet person, almost invisible in the best way possible, he never seeks to draw attention to himself, outside the ministry he is a nice guy, a bit reserved, but others can count on him if they need him.
He LOVES herbal teas, cats, and reading, heās also into cooking and sometimes shares with neighbors (usually pies). despite being a good man he doesnāt have a partner, even if he got used to it he still suffers from loneliness sometimes.
Fun facts:
-the stray cat of the neighborhood, Boris, visits more often Vonelās house than the otherās, and now sometimes even sleeps in a basket in the living room.
-If something in the distance bothers him and doesn't require his immediate attention, instead of staring at it or sighing, he simply takes off his glasses, the world, a few meters away, becomes a blur.
-he loves learning things in general, and can play the piano, the violin and the transverse flute.
Dimitri: (in his 50ās) i think heās just mad because he got substituted with someone better than him and got moved to East Grestin just as a supervisor, he needs to demonstrate that his a good boss so he gives the inspector the reward plates to convince his superior he does great at his job, but in reality heās an egoistic person who only cares about himself and money, i see him as a toxic person and irascible.
He HATES the MOI for being āa den of busybodiesā in his opinion.
He loves classical music and almost every day you can hear it from his house, he doesnāt play instruments but always wanted to play the violin.
Heās allergic to cats.
Ezic guy: I see him as a person that would live in a small apartment on rent, alone. I think he lost his eye because he made his boss angry and by giving the sheets to the inspector, after being downgraded, he would have redeemed himself from his mistake.
I see him as someone who adapts quickly, and also with that āIdgafā attitude, he just receives orders and executes without asking questions because he receives a decent pay, not good but not too bad. I think heād swear a lot in general.
To me heās around 20-30 years old
(To me he is the lowest level: messenger, the riskest position because he has to be among people all the time)
Jorji: (60 years old) I see Jorji as a nice and gentle man in overall, someone who sees the good side in everything (golden retriever type of person) but heās forced to contraband drugs, fake passports eccā¦ due to poverty (which is a problem for the whole country especially after the war), so he can put food on the table for himself and his family, he has two kids, a girl and a boy (ocs) and a wife.
His wife is a terrible cook but what can he do? He loves her and he also donāt have time and skills to cook a proper meal so heād still eat what she prepares.
He gives me the vibes of someone whoād love village fairs and community festival, heād be the one youād see participate in group dance at those local festivals.
[Extra fun fact:]
The inspectorās son and Vonelās niece (oc) go to the same school and they are best friends, they even have a matching bracelet of friendship.
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