@glamorouspetrichor - Tumblr Blog

eniko-faludi-deactivated2025031

I know I always write about Seidou and I haven't mentioned it enough but Juuzou is also my fav TG character. Not only that but originally Juuzou was the reason why I got into Tokyo Ghoul after I saw a few edits oo him on TikTok and I absolutely loved his design. And his voice!🤩🤩 And I wanted to know what anime he is from. And I ended up here!😆 So after the Mini Seidou pictures here's some Mini Juuzou too. I love this silly little goblin🤪🤪

pastaprincess

This has got to be one of my favorite parts of the whole episode. Look at how cute they are together. Blitz makes a joke and Fizz pulls the cutest face. Like, Fizz just looks so happy and free. Is this a glimpse of how things used to be in the past for them 🥹💕

I’m still alive. 25 and still alive. Every day is the same. Nobody to talk to except my grandmother really. I guess I’m not completely alone cuz of her. My parents probably think I’m manipulating her. I mean they’ve been better to me lately but they did say she was enabling me. I don’t know. All I know is I care more about fiction than life. More about Kokichi Ouma than most real people. I guess I’ve completely dived into fantasy land, although I can’t be creative anymore. I’m dying every second that I’m alive. Literally. I am killing myself every day with cigarettes and lack of exercise and isolation. Not alcohol anymore, surprisingly. Turns out I wasn’t really addicted, I just was too scared to stop. Now I can drink on occasion and not feel the need to do it every day. In fact I’ve come to dislike alcohol. It’s true that it helps me be myself and makes people like me more but it also makes me do stupid things that I regret. Example: Last time I saw Daniel we were both wasted and almost had sex. I think that’s why he doesn’t want to see me anymore. That or he just really doesn’t care. It fucking sucks losing my best friend, close enough to be family, of 20 years. But he doesn’t care about me anymore and that’s just that. Then I’m going to lose Alex too because I’m too anxious to even talk to them. I can’t even answer a simple message. I’m really pathetic. I can’t do anything. Can’t work, can’t write or draw or barely sing anymore, can’t even talk to people. I have anxiety attacks about getting older and the people I love getting older. I can’t think straight half the time. Although that’s partially due to my over consumption of marijuana. But the dissociation has always been there, keeping me one step out of reality. I don’t know why I’m still alive. I don’t know if I even want to be. I know when im older I’ll hate myself for wasting my youth. But I don’t know what to do. I hate myself. I fucking hate myself. I don’t want to be with people and I don’t want to be alone. I just want it all to stop. I want to be where I want when I want with the people I want. I don’t know if I can heal in this place. I don’t know if being around the people I want will help me heal either. I don’t know if I’m even capable of healing. I don’t think I am. I don’t think I have the strength to even try. I can’t even pick up a bowl in my room before it gets moldy. I can’t even take basic care of myself. Nobody wants to talk to me anymore. I’m a loser. Pathetic gross and getting old. Only place I ever belonged was in a hospital. That’s all I guess.

Maybe I belong in a hospital again. Maybe I should just die there.

Oh how things have changed, looking back. Everything is pointless and I don’t even care anymore.

Idk where to start. There’s an underground bunker I. The woods near a stream. Belongs to my friend. They keep a lot of weed there cuz they are dealers I think. I go down there a lot to hang out. One time I bring weed of my own because a different friend and I are gonna smoke and fool around but I have a bad feeling so I take the weed elsewhere then go back. Owners arrive so other friend has to leave before anything happens between us. Then the bunker gets swatted and searched for drugs. They find nothing and apparently my friends knew this would happen and I’m glad that I moved my own weed. Later that day we are hanging out. Female friend is on the couch in the bunker or something in the living room area. Male friend (her boyfriend) is cooking in the back and I’m doing idk what in the dark room next to where he’s cooking (storage area?). Someone breaks in. Starts shooting at friend who is cooking. Dream logic, a lot of the bullets are missing him and he seems fairly calm as if he was expecting this. I scream and drop to the ground to avoid getting shot. Friend is killed. Bullets start going through the wall of the storage room. Aka he’s right on the other side and shooting through the wall to fuck with me. Dream logic he either has infinite bullets or it’s a machine gun or a mix of both. He shoots through the wall in a diagonal pattern at first. He brings his shots lower and lower to where he somehow knows that I am laying and I start crawling backwards, essentially trapping myself as the bullets leave a trail in the wall, following me. What happens next is a blur but he doesn’t kill me for some reason. Turns out shooter is a middle aged authority figure that my friends and I know. At some point while I’m pretty much “hiding” and terrified, he brings more people down to the bunker and they are talking about I couldn’t tell what. I only recognized one of the people as one of his students. Shooter/teacher dude ends up killing everyone but the student and it’s bloody and gory everywhere. Student has a crooked smile and they seem to forget I’m even here. The end of the dream is a bit blurry but I think the teacher/shooter kills himself, and then his student remembers I’m there.

For some reason I woke up from this dream feeling really icky and weird. Felt like a nightmare. This is strange because I’ve been unfazed by conventionally scarier dreams I’ve had in the past. I don’t get scared of my dreams I just find them interesting. The only time my dreams scare me are when I’m the one doing the killing.

In the autumn the leaves all fall for you

I’m falling every day

Springtime, flowers bloom for you

Open your heart, show me your ways

The snow is gently falling,

As winter eats the sun

But summers in our hearts babe

So hold me close, you are the one

To the right is the comforting lie. To the left each door reveals more of the truth, however distorted.

(Old dream)

Team partakes in some kind of competition but most of our team quits on us we are outcasts but we are trying to win as hard as we can to prove something we almost do but something happens they cheat or something and we lose. Sitting on stairs depressed with the friend and like what do we do now and friend is like we'll figure it out we always do. Then someone from other team walks past who I guess is like a rival and he says something like good try or something trying to be nice I refuse to look at him til he leaves. Skip ahead Major fight huge rival it's like a video game naruto fight at some points images from past revealed they use it againste see behavioral notes and stuff and they're like what's this did someone act out as a child and I keep attacking and then they see drawings and comment on them and we are like little kids suddenly and they're like did you draw these and I refuse to speak and you can tell lonely little kid and they keep talking being nice like I like to draw too these are good can I keep one and I eventually revert back to normal self and attack and they get mad about how stubborn I am and temper and want to end fight but I won't

(Old dream) A lot of people turned against me. Dragging me in chains because I hurt their family dragged them into our own feuds they were taking me somewhere had me under constant surveillance even people I thought were friends were helping with this against me over things I didn't even know about I was crying in some kind of hidden mode but they could still hear me and at one point I nearly escaped in public giant crowd one of them saw me and was like where do you think you're going I ran and almost got away but someone grabbed my wrist and they re caught me. When they took chains off I had guns pointed atms constantly. I wished they'd just kill me and knew I could do something to make them kill me but was too scared.

(Old dream - the really creepy surreal one)

At some cool resort type place. Each floor had a theme like Disney or gaming or space. I was with a group of people. We were in room but I had to leave for some reason then I ran back and realized I didn't know the room number or floor. I tried calling the people I was with suddenly it was Ryann and she was mad that I was taking so long said some weird phrase like place of acquaintancing or something like that. I was walking down hallway trying to find our room and suddenly it changed. It got darker in the hall and there were labels on every door and at the end of the hall was a big sign and stuff that said the same phrase Ryann said. On the ground was a big cartoonish old phone set and it was ringing. Considering the phrase I assumed it was meant for me and picked up the phone. I don't remember what was said but soon a clown came out of this door to the left which was covered with a black sheet. There was some song playing and the clown was very very slow. I was connected to some cable that let me jump around. As the song went on the clown became more disturbing in appearance and a little faster and trying to come over to me. I had to keep jumping from place to place over wires and stuff to get away. Eventually the song ended and the clown faded and the face was gone and suddenly I recognized the clown as some mysterious figure and hugged it. Supposedly coming through black sheet door brings out worst in self or something. Then I was with a group of people and this thing was trying to talk to us and demonstrate something. None of us would listen and it got really mad and made this web like thing with stuff hanging on it that was gonna be cool visuals for a song of anger but it stopped and then we were in this big room. The floor was white and there was a black wall and another black sheet door the right and a black portal type door. We all had to enact our worst nightmare on ourselves. Some guy afraid of germs had to lick the walls. A girl had to dip her tongue in acid. Some perverted guy had to chew his own dick off. We were all trying to get each other through it so we could leave, even if forceful encouragement. Eventually everyone had their turn and the room became engulfed in black. I saw some guy escape through black portal door and folllwed and we watched as everyone else had stood up and become engulfed in the black. Then me and like three others were in this strange room. Almost like we were floating and it was pulsating color. Apparently now I thought someone important was missing because I was like "I can feel her.. in pieces here and there.." and some thing crawled up and said that's because this room is everything or something like that. I looked around and realized everywhere I looked I could see behind me and next to me and all around almost as if full of some strange mirrors. The thing said she may be alive, just buried

(Old dream)

I was kinda invader sim and also myself and I was kind of becoming friends with Dib it wasn’t exactly dib but it was. It was kinda back and forth between friends and not. Water didn’t hurt me but grapefruit did for some reason. I don’t remember much of the beginning of the dream I think he kept like pranking me kinda it was also in a weird big house the outside was like Nauni’s. At some point I pull some kind of “prank” but I’m also really serious. I get this goal and fill it w water. And leave a note saying it’s poison and bc of everything, if he wants to kill me he can. He meets me on the roof about it really really angry. And I get scared/anxious and whatever and fly away and he shouts at me to come back still angry and I don’t. So then I’m flying really really far it’s not exactly flying it’s like the weird half flying I always do in dreams. And eventually I go back and I’m kinda hiding from him and everyone and at one point he’s like you fucking left me on the roof after that and another point I’m like outside the window and he opens all the windows on each side of the wall shouting I know you’re there but I’m staying hidden and won’t come out. For some reason I end up going back in time to when he’s a kid I think to make it so he never met me or something weird and I’m guiding him around with some group saying I’m his friend and we are going through these underground creepy tunnels and then get out and I guide him away from the group up these stairs to a pretty view of a river and he’s in awe and then I’m disappearing and I see some timer going off and I realize I have to take him back or else I or at least this version of me will fade from existence so I panic and fly him back as fast as I can. Then he somehow finds out something bad about me now kid him is mad too and I sulk inside a washing machine. Weird dream

(Old dream) In this dream I am sort of like kaneki and there’s Touka and one other character. We are trapped in some organization that does testing on whatever we are supposed to be and I’m most important subject bc u know I’m kaneki. I don’t remember what happens exactly but I guess we do something wrong and the three of us are scheduled for hanging partially by choice. We aren’t scared. One guy says he doesn’t care about the other two but it’d be a pity to kill me. Maybe take an arm or something instead. So the three of us are lined up in a futuristic looking type of gallows. I’m in middle. It’s time. They push whatever button they are supposed to... and the other two fall and are left dead and hanging and I’m left alone in the middle and I realize they never intended to kill me. I collapse to the ground screaming. Flash forward a bit. I’m cooperating with experiments. They say test subject is showing unexpected closeness with whatever the scientists name was and they say I’m aware of fastness and whatever. They keep throwing things at me and causing nose bleeds for whatever reason. Also there’s some kind of thing they need to give me once a day it’s hard to get might be pulled from living person idk. Dream basically ends up with me empty and dead inside and fully cooperating as test subject bc I no longer care about anything

The feel of your skin against mine is like that of the sun washing over you after a long winter. Your touch, however, warms more deeply - filling all the corners of my heart.

Why did you have to make me feel things again. I was doing ok. I was alone and bored but I was learning to live again and be ok with myself and not let people abuse me and have healthy positive relationships with the few people around me and then you came along when for the first time I was actually doing ok and you ruined everything and you ruined me and continue to do so and I am powerless to change anything

I really really can’t stand it when you talk to someone if you’re upset and they turn it around and make it all about them and their horrible life and make you be the one to comfort them. Like how selfish can you be? I act nice and stuff when it happens but come on. I just wish, for once, someone would care about me. But that’s too much to ask for. I’m completely alone. I’ve said that a lot but it’s truer than ever. I don’t even have surface friends anymore. I don’t have a single person willing to talk to me. I said i would rather be alone than be treated like shit and that’s what I got. But I don’t think it’s my fault. I give people countless chances. I don’t know how to stop. Because the idea of being alone terrifies me. But nothing I can do. Dan 100% confirmed he is never going to speak to me again. Jenn and Laura treated me like garbage, ignored me for days so I finally said fuck you if you’re gonna act this way find a new friend. They didn’t give a shit. Didnt even pretend to, they just ignored that message too. They only answered when I said to give back my shit. So they’re gone now. Isn’t it great how I’m the psycho bitch in this scenario? It was the same in high school. Just because I want to be treated like I’m worth anything. I don’t ask for much. I see how everyone treats their friends, fawning over each other, having fun, supporting each other, all that, and I’ve never once had that... I don’t expect it either. But people expect me to go to the moon for them, and flip out on me if I simply show the slightest bit of emotion. Jenn can scream and cry and cut and threaten to kill herself, everyone is there in an instant. I have never acted that way. I’ve done crazy things but never thrown a tantrum like a fucking toddler because a boy doesn’t like me. I can just wear a black dress to school, people think I’m psychotic. Try and sort out problems with someone (when I’m already being the extremely forgiving one as usual), and I get yelled at for being soooo dramatic. I tell myself I don’t need anyone but. I need something. I’ve been relying on weed. But I haven’t had it for a while and I had a chance to get it tonight but couldn’t. So I had a bit of an episode. By that I just mean I cried alone in my room because of how shit life is and now I’m typing this like two hours later. And Gigi saw that I was in a bad mood and I just said I was fine and so I get flipped out on. I can’t do anything without being a nuisance to people. Wouldn’t I be doing the world a favor by killing myself?

it’s not fair

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