Alles was das Herz will

24 yrs | she/her | girlie in stem | phlegmatic

[fairycosmos]

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

[itsyveinthesky]

[seabassapologist]

[penismage]

Hello!

Howdy!

I’d like, uh, two normal rolls.

Sure thing!

And one with the… With the pumpkin seeds.

Which do you mean?

The one with the… With the seeds.

What are they called?

Uhm… A, uh, “crunchy pumpky.”

Sure thing. Would you like anything else?

Uhh… I’ll also take a, uh… A… A Nutella donut…?

Unfortunately, I don’t know at all what you mean…

A… One of those right there!

You really must tell me, what’s it called??

I… I’m… I’m a dumb piece of shit.

Sure thing! Anything else?

That one there?

You know what you need to do. [Here she switches from the formal, customer service voice to addressing him casually and familiarly.]

I… I’m a little greedy pig, oink oink?

Do it!

[grunts like a pig]

That comes to €13.50, please! Have a beautiful day!

Hello! I’d like an “I hate my father” and two “I have a small willi—” [The word that gets cut off is Pimmel, an un-sexy term for penis.]

[bruzum]

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Ich bin sicher, das wird er souverän und mit Humor aufnehmen

[theminotaursmanual]

by Laerte Coutinho

[las-lus]

btw this is laerte. She is 73 now! Making art and being happy! It's never too late to transition

[sailorbrazil]

thursday..... and i bet you wish you were her

[persianmom-deactivated20251026]

[martyfive]

two years ago i played cyberpunk and got a terrific idea of making a crossover with dishonored with the outsider being a human whose consciousness was turned into a know-it-all program and corvo who’s trying to be the best dad with a motorcycle ever after the assassination of jessamine aka the former ceo of some kind of big fancy company

so here we are two years later at the point where i remembered about all of this and decided to make it everyone’s problem

you’re welcome

[bisforbutch]

Get your pussy up, get your money up. You are a woman, not a girl. A man, not a boy. Twinks aren't a race. Abandon girl math, abandon male incompetence. Disavow internal racism, systemic misogyny (including transmisogynoir) and abuse culture. Accept these fucking words into your heart and you can hit the ground running toward where you want to be inside and out and I'm so fucking serious.

[kosmogrl]

[depsidase]

[raccoonmilf]

When I was in grade school I used to send emails to biologists and zoologists asking them questions to get answers to include in school projects I was working on, and would cry when they did not respond because I thought I was stupid for thinking that some random kid would ever be deserving of a response from someone who does something as smart and cool and important as *checks notes* studies frog fungus.

Now, at 29, I’m lowkey having a panic attack because my academic email is filled with middle schoolers wanting me to answer their questions about pygmy raccoons and I keep putting off answering them because I’m so overwhelmed with all the other raccoon stuff I have to do.

Anyway, greatest apologies to any scientist I ever emailed as a child and also an adult.

[raccoonmilf]

I know your research is really important and I appreciate all you are doing but this is so fucking funny

[criptochecca]

^ is a zionist

[room429]

[scorpionlafemme]

[2colde]

[buffyfknlo]

Communication is key

[feyd-meowtha]